Ace Mormon

Them: Aren't you Mormon? I thought you didn't drink coffee?

Am I crazy for thinking maybe these AREN'T the words that I was supposed to hear about my actual life and instead something that I was TOLD rather than what's meant for me? I've always, ALWAYS been taught that the patriarchal blessing is law and something that you cannot escape as long as you are faithful, even if you don't want those blessings.

I just don't feel like I've ever really heard any LBBTQ+ members talk about their patriarchal blessings in terms of their queerness and I was interested for your thoughts.

Patriarchal blessings are a strange beast to figure out. Not quite scripture, not quite fortune telling, mystical yet codified.

I think you’re right that most blessings use gendered terms where those specific genders are inaccurate. I think that comes down to the way we receive the blessings. I imagine each Patriarch is different, but the way they receive revelation on what the blessing should say ought to be reasonably similar to the ways other revelation is received.

That is to say, with a few exceptions, revelation tends to be a vibe that is put into words. The vibes may be 100% accurate, but the words are going to be limited to the patriarch’s vocabulary.

For example; my blessing contains the following line: “I bless you that at the right time you will find a young lady…and that you will be happily married.” Now, knowing that I am bisexual, a “young lady” is is not the only option. Also, as I creep into my 30s a young lady is becoming one of the more problematic options. But here’s the thing: I received my blessing in 2008. Same sex marriage was legalized in the USA in 2015. My patriarch was probably in his 70s at the time. So, the idea that someone could marry either gender was probably not a possibility he had ever really considered. Not part of his vocabulary, you see? As for the “young” part, I’m convinced that this man would call any woman he met a young lady as, what he would consider, a sign of respect, regardless of age.

So he got an impression: “this person will get married at the right time to a good person.” Given the local culture and his own vocabulary, he said “at the right time you will marry a young lady”.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that the blessing itself isn’t the written words on the page. The ink on paper is just an access point. Something you can reference in your questions to God. I.e. “in this line, the patriarch said this, what did you tell him to prompt that?”

In your case it may be that God told the patriarch that you and a partner will lovingly care for and protect others. Because of the limits of his social and cultural vocabulary, he interpreted that to mean marriage with children.

It might be helpful to try and make an “Inspired Version” of your blessing. Prayerfully go line by line and rewrite it in your own words as the spirit dictates. Be sure to recognize that you, too, have a limited vocabulary to work with, and you may want to revisit and revise in the future.

Now, as for this:

I've always, ALWAYS been taught that the patriarchal blessing is law and something that you cannot escape as long as you are faithful, even if you don't want those blessings.

I believe that you were taught incorrectly. God respects your agency, even if humans don’t. He will not give you a “blessing” that you don’t want. It’s important to remember that all teachings not directly from the spirit come from imperfect mouths. If a teaching doesn’t pass the smell test for you, there’s probably a good reason.

hey anon <33 thank you so much, I know you sent this a while ago and I've been thinking about how to respond since then because this really means a lot to me. (more under cut)

A dear L.D.S. [Mormon] lady left her small family in Phoenix to go to the temple in Mesa. While she was in the middle of a session, she got a strong feeling that she should go home - that something was terribly wrong. The feeling wouldn’t go away, so she told the temple president and asked him what she should do. He said, “Have no fear. You are doing the right thing by being here. All is well at home.” So she continued the session. She hurried home when she was through and found her six-year-old daughter in bed. She asked her daughter if something was wrong. She told her mother that she had left the house while the babysitter was busy with the other children and had gone out by the canal near their house. While she was playing, she slipped on some grass and fell in. She couldn’t swim, and the canal is deep. Many people drown this way. But a lady all dressed in white came along just then and got her just before she would have drowned. The lady set her on the bank and made sure she was okay. The little girl asked the lady who she was because she knew that the lady didn’t live near by. So, the lady told her what her name was. The lady who saved the little girl was the lady whom the mother had done work for in the temple that day.

a story collected by Kathryn Wright in 1975.

Barre Toelken, who studies water lore and symbolism in western and Mormon lore, is interested in this story because the themes of water and irrigation make their way into sacred narrative. He is right, of course, but to really comprehend this story one must probe the depths of deeply-held Mormon beliefs, beliefs I haven’t space to detail fully here. Briefly, Mormons believe that saving gospel ordinances must be performed in the flesh. Since their deceased ancestors have not had this opportunity, Mormons seek out the names of these ancestors through genealogical research and then vicariously perform these ordinances for them in sacred ceremonies in their temples. The session mentioned in the story would be an occasion for performing these ordinances. To believing Mormons, this story speaks many messages. It encourages them to persist in the search for their ancestral roots; it testifies to the validity of temple ordinances; it suggests that God is a caring God who will protect them in time of need; it stresses the importance of the family and strengthens family ties; it gives them hope that these ties will continue beyond this life. In one narrative situation after another, these messages are brought forcefully home by an artistic performance of the story designed to move listeners to action and are made all the more powerful by the narrative symmetry in which two lives are saved at the same moment - the physical life of the young girl and the eternal life of the rescuer, the mother serving as the link between the two.

of course I don’t have any prejudices against atheists, it’s just that whenever I meet one, I feel the need to rant to them about how their beliefs are inferior and how their lack of belief in a god makes them nothing more then petty simpletons with no significant thoughts or ideas of their own! and I mean, what’s so wrong about that? it’s only facts, truly, and disagreeing with me is just denying the truth. some atheists are nice to me right up until I trash their beliefs, cultures and religions as inferior to my superior, more enlightened ideas of the world!! i simply cannot fathom why they would become hostile or defensive towards me once I disrespect their lives and very real struggles! oh the lengths that people will go to deny true science….