Do you think that patriarchal blessings could be homophobic/heteronormative in terms of who you're supposed to marry? I am a lesbian and my blessing details me finding my husband and the 4+ children that we're supposed to have together, and it honestly feels like God has 0 understanding of me as a human being because I don't want to marry a man, nor do I want any children.
Am I crazy for thinking maybe these AREN'T the words that I was supposed to hear about my actual life and instead something that I was TOLD rather than what's meant for me? I've always, ALWAYS been taught that the patriarchal blessing is law and something that you cannot escape as long as you are faithful, even if you don't want those blessings.
I just don't feel like I've ever really heard any LBBTQ+ members talk about their patriarchal blessings in terms of their queerness and I was interested for your thoughts.
Patriarchal blessings are a strange beast to figure out. Not quite scripture, not quite fortune telling, mystical yet codified.
I think youāre right that most blessings use gendered terms where those specific genders are inaccurate. I think that comes down to the way we receive the blessings. I imagine each Patriarch is different, but the way they receive revelation on what the blessing should say ought to be reasonably similar to the ways other revelation is received.
That is to say, with a few exceptions, revelation tends to be a vibe that is put into words. The vibes may be 100% accurate, but the words are going to be limited to the patriarchās vocabulary.
For example; my blessing contains the following line: āI bless you that at the right time you will find a young ladyā¦and that you will be happily married.ā Now, knowing that I am bisexual, a āyoung ladyā is is not the only option. Also, as I creep into my 30s a young lady is becoming one of the more problematic options. But hereās the thing: I received my blessing in 2008. Same sex marriage was legalized in the USA in 2015. My patriarch was probably in his 70s at the time. So, the idea that someone could marry either gender was probably not a possibility he had ever really considered. Not part of his vocabulary, you see? As for the āyoungā part, Iām convinced that this man would call any woman he met a young lady as, what he would consider, a sign of respect, regardless of age.
So he got an impression: āthis person will get married at the right time to a good person.ā Given the local culture and his own vocabulary, he said āat the right time you will marry a young ladyā.
What I guess Iām trying to say is that the blessing itself isnāt the written words on the page. The ink on paper is just an access point. Something you can reference in your questions to God. I.e. āin this line, the patriarch said this, what did you tell him to prompt that?ā
In your case it may be that God told the patriarch that you and a partner will lovingly care for and protect others. Because of the limits of his social and cultural vocabulary, he interpreted that to mean marriage with children.
It might be helpful to try and make an āInspired Versionā of your blessing. Prayerfully go line by line and rewrite it in your own words as the spirit dictates. Be sure to recognize that you, too, have a limited vocabulary to work with, and you may want to revisit and revise in the future.
I've always, ALWAYS been taught that the patriarchal blessing is law and something that you cannot escape as long as you are faithful, even if you don't want those blessings.
I believe that you were taught incorrectly. God respects your agency, even if humans donāt. He will not give you a āblessingā that you donāt want. Itās important to remember that all teachings not directly from the spirit come from imperfect mouths. If a teaching doesnāt pass the smell test for you, thereās probably a good reason.
There are mortal things and there are divine things. As part of the Plan of Salvation, we are largely cut off from the divine things for our protection. As long as we get our information of the divine through flawed mortal tools we can easily be forgiven for getting things wrong. If you donāt understand your patriarchal blessing, thatās ok. You probably never will fully understand it. As long as you try to understand, thatās enough.