acey !! :3

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"

Perhaps I was nothing more than a Don Quixote,

fighting only the thoughts inside my own mind.

Yet, for all the battles I fought,

I never laid a hand on a single windmill.

My fiercest enemies

were never out there in the world.

They lived in the silent corridors of my mind,

where no one else could see.

Time passed.

My horse grew weary,

my armor gathered rust,

and my dreams learned the language of silence.

Still, the war within me never ended.

Perhaps I was never truly defeated.

Perhaps I simply remained

the last soldier on an invisible battlefield,

fighting a war that existed

My bones, my bones creak in this old bed; the bed slats groan as I move.

I am paralyzed in this room—because I see nothing, because only frustration exists, because there is darkness.

There isn't a single ray of sunlight—but how could there be? I have closed all the windows, all the doors; every tiny glimmer of hope has vanished, and it is my own fault. I closed the windows, I closed the doors, I turned off all the lights with my own hands; I tore apart the only thing I had left.

Frustration is my only companion, for I cannot place the blame on anything—not on a wretched god, nor a tormenting church, nor vile people, nor stupid parents. Yet, even in the darkness, I can hear voices from the past calling to me—but they do not exist; they are gone, never to return.

Perhaps my resentment is heavier than the darkness of this room. I want to scream, but it falls on deaf ears; I want to walk, but I fall into a bottomless void; I want to speak, but there is no one in the room; I want to see, but the lights are out.

Or at least my uncle used to say

He’s long gone now and left behind

A box of cigars and memories

The greatest pearl he left to me

Was one I’ll always hold

“Fill your life with challenges

They keep you from growing old”

And for too long I fell complacent

Stagnant, unmoved, unchanged

So I needs must find new dragons to slay

New stars to rearrange

Begone I say to those who stand

Holding chains around my ankles, my waist

Make way for storms, for heaving winds