ace bi ace

I came out to my mom tonight *finally* as bisexual/biromantic. (She already knew I was ace although she doesn't really understand/care what it means)

It did not go well. And for better or worse, this was the first bad coming out experience I've had.

So, yeah, I guess I'm just feeling kind of numb because internally I am both heartbroken and amused at the stereotypes I just experienced a few hours ago:

☑️ Adam and Eve example (though she didn't pull out the "not Adam and Steve")

☑️ Sodom and Gomorrah

☑️ generally "it's in the Bible" and "the New Testament list" and "it's a sin"

☑️ "it makes me sick" and "it's wrong"

☑️ regarding someday meeting a woman romantically and me talking about how I may still not want to go that route because of the whole asexual thing and her answering "you better not"

☑️ "I'm gonna pray you find a sexy straight man"

☑️ "we were afraid of this... Because of all your gay friends" (to which I replied multiple times that that is definitely not how it works)

☑️ said multiple times that she just did not want to talk about it

BUT even with this disastrous revelation (which I honestly thought would go better because we had been BONDING so well on the car ride home from my brother's house and she has had other kids/friends come out to her as specifically bisexual as well as known others who are gay... But I guess it's different when it's actually HER kid), I am thankful that we ended tonight acting like normal. She did not kick me out (since I'm living with her and my dad for a few more months), she did not give me a silent treatment or yell or punish, and she DID tell me she loves me.

I just wish she could show it like I know Jesus actually would.

On that note, I am incredibly thankful for all my queer friends and true allies (and even the friends that think it's a sin but responded kindly and with hugs and no judgment) that have shown me their own versions of support and/or inspiring relationships and faiths over the years. I was able to handle tonight happening because I am finally comfortable with who I am in God's eyes and who I am with the true love of my other friends behind me.

I pray over anyone else who struggles with situations like mine and over my own journey to come, that we aren't overwhelmed by the lies that we are "disgusting" or "wrong" but that we ARE shown endless love even in places or ways or from people that may surprise us. I pray over queer children and adults like me everywhere who may not find peace easily, that somehow it finds them.