Love.Trust.Respect

You told me I am almost perfect and I was deeply moved and struck with your words. Who on earth would see me as someone close to perfection if in reality I am a broken mirror imperfectly put back together? If I am just a hopeless mess? For a minute I wanted to borrow your eyes so I could see what you saw in me. Do you see me like the Starry Night? Am I like Mona Lisa’s Smile? Am I stunning like an eclipse? Does my presence make your heart flutter just like how your whole existence is moved whenever you hear your favorite song? Is it close to something like that? But then, I don’t mind. If for you I am close to perfection, it’s because you perfected my completely insane and bewildering world. You made me perfectly imperfect. You are the reason behind it.

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Bakit nagpapakatanga ang isang taong nagmamahal? Kasi kapag mahalaga sayo ang isang bagay lahat titiisin mo para dito, ibibigay at gagawin mo lahat kahit alam mong pwede kang masaktan sa huli. Itataya mo ang lahat kaysa pagsisihan mo sa huli na may hindi ka nagawa para ipaglaban siya. Tanga na kung tanga pero ganun talaga kapag nagmamahal. Hindi mo basta-bastang isusuko ang kasiyahan mo kahit na ito din yung nagiging rason kung bakit nasasaktan ka.

It’s painful not having anyone to share your sadness with.

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi mas kaya kitang mahalin kaysa sa sarili ko. Mas iniisip ko pa ang kaligayahan mo kahit nasasaktan na ako. Mas inaalala ko pa yung mararamdaman mo kahit nahihirapan na ako. Hindi ko kayang bumitaw sayo kahit matagal mo na akong binitawan.

Ayan ka na naman eh! Bibigyan mo ako ng rason para mahalin ka, tapos sasaktan mo lang ako, tapos pipilitin kong mag move-on tapos kapag okay na ako, tsaka ka naman babalik. At ako naman itong tanga, papapasukin ka ulit sa buhay ko kasi kahit gago ka, umaasa pa din ako na magbabago ka pa, na may pag-asa pa tayo.

Trust Issues?

I’m better sleeping on my own.

I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. I deserve someone who is gentle and kind, because my soul is getting tired. Realizing that I deserve something good is one of the first steps.