had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man

This is actually hilarious, because the train, bus metro etc is going anyways.....so what difference does it make?

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

Stupid ass take. The fame of the artist doesn't define how it makes you feel. Do you not see me go hogwild eating potatoes, easily one of the top 5 most well known vegetables

We're like shooting stars you and I

sorry for documenting my suffering and delusions online do you still think im hot

every so often i will come across a macklemore lyric that just… catches me so fucking off guard

i was high as shit last night and sent my wife a single dollar on paypal looked at her and giggled "one dollor" and then laughed so hard i got a stomach ache

the craziest thing about being alive is that you have to live with other people’s interpretations of you

tim kreider was right when he said we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known