i would headlock the alligator

[continuing a conversation in my head] and i think it's fair to blame fans for demolishing the 4th wall but i also think there's at least a little bit of blame on teams courting interaction from both fujos and homophobes under the "any engagement is good engagement" type of posting. if you look at the comments on any given post about a heritage night, a non-christian holidays, or acknowledging any culture that's not white and usamerican and you see that nothing is moderated or pushed back on, that to me suggests that the pr and social media teams know what they're doing and they simply don't give a fuck as long as they can prove engagement. quantity > quality

like, as much as i/we can complain about the 4th wall breakage, the fact remains that for every fujo harrassing them, there will also be a man outright calling them gay slurs. and both are bad but we can't pretend that the teams aren't farming the latter for engagement too. end of year department report: our post about lunar new year received 200 comments. (190 of them used racial slurs or asked why we have to put politics in everything.) and while i wish my rpf playground wasn't being put on blast, i equally wish i could open comment sections without seeing racist slurs, ragebaiting white men, and transphobic commentary. so

I have paid a large sum of money to nathan mackinnon's sport psychologist to say that having sex has a negative effect on the game by draining the lifeforce and being a distraction

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Sending a utility top to Chicago in exchange for two prospects (the next two girls to transition there have to move here instead)

unfortunately claude giroux is just the guy of all time. enemy of the state and by state I mean the western half of pennsylvania. these days he is known primarily for a) never winning anything and b) being eerily good at making pigeon noises. as a teenager he had to pick between going pro at hockey and going pro at bowling. when he was 21 he moved in w a recently divorced father of three a decade his senior and regularly picked up the man's kids from elementary school. once got arrested for grabbing a male cops ass on canada day. met his current wife while playing beer pong w both his wrists in casts. the only reason his dick is not on the internet is a conveniently placed beer can. gets constantly bullied by his infant teammates who love to wear shirts w his face printed on them and zero context. his hometowns junior hockey team love him so much they switched their logo to a picture of him as a lumberjack. he used to (?) own two dogs who look exactly like him. he once sent out joint family christmas cards w the guy he lived with where they used a portmanteau of their last names. his wife's name is pronounced ryan. he is obsessed w grilled cheese sandwiches. the most goody two shoes golden boy poster child of hockey hates his ass w a vengeance. he is franco-canadian but he is Not from québec. he is ginger. he is lying about his height. during the 2024-25 nhl season his car got stolen twice within 3 months. he loves shania twain and likes wearing pink. he used to go into the eagles dressing room and ask to arm wrestle random football players. he is one of less than 60 out of 700+ active NHL players to wear a neck guard and it makes him look like a slutty dilf in a turtleneck.

can i say something

the thing is I am pro-rpf on principle, but I do think you should keep it away from the actual people you're shipping. but it is NOT out of concern for their comfort (insert pete wentz bank account post), it's for the same reason that like animal behaviorists and field biologists and such try to stay out of view when they're observing animals in the wild. don't tip them off it's gonna to skew the results of my study.