Alright, this little fic has been sitting in my drafts for long enough; have the post-series Uzi, N, and V meeting the episode one Uzi, N, and V. @halfananiteacid it’s finally done!
It’s a nice night out tonight — overcast, but in a cool way that makes you feel the urge to brood dramatically from somewhere high up. N and V are with me too. We’re trying to scavenge for other places to get oil so we don’t keep eating everyone in the bunker. Which.. fair, I guess.
“Does anyone else feel kinda weird?" I ask suddenly, “like they’re having deja vu?” N’s face scrunches up. “It kinda seems like a dream I had, but I don’t remember what it was about.” “No, it’s definitely got weird vibes,” V agrees.
A flash of lightning flickers overhead, then arcs downward into the ground, blasting into the snow and melting it in a fraction of a second. The three of us jump away from the charged beam of electricity, getting into fighting positions beside one another.
Steam rises from where the heat of the blast hit the ground — burned all the way through the ice. Three drones stand in the divot of melted snow. A worker and two disassembly drones. The rising vapor turns them to warped silhouettes as the strike vanishes into the air, leaving strangers in its wake.
The first to stumble though the weird haze is a disassembly drone. She’s- What the heck? She kinda looks like… V shoves me lightly aside and confronts the stranger. A large energy blaster replaces her hand and she aims it at the impossibly familiar disassembly drone’s chest.
“Who the hell are you!? Why do you look like- like that?” The ‘X’ on the newcomer’s face flickers, but before she can answer, a worker dressed in purple and a large black hoodie coughs on the smoke and waves it away with a free hand. Tucked beneath her arm and other hand is a glowing railgun — shining red from use.
Her purple eyes lock with mine, which look exactly like hers, only mine are partially gold now. “What the..? Why the heck do you look like me?!” the both of us gasp at the same time. N steps up from behind me, curiously bending down a bit to examine the me that.. isn’t.. me.
“Look out!” the other Uzi jumps to my side, swinging the butt of her railgun across N’s face. “Hey!” I gasp and grab her arm before she can do it again, but the other me shakes it off. “What’s your problem?! I’m saving your life!”
In a flash of sharp silver metal, V lunges at the new me, shoving her to the ground and ripping the weapon from her hands. “Woah, woah, V! Don’t hurt-!”
“I’m right here.” I whip around to find V, my V, slinking to my side with stress marks beginning to glow across her face. “She’s not.. I- I don’t know what she is,” V tells me, “She could be a clone of mine that somehow escaped Cyn, but then why is there another you?”
I can feel my optics widening into rings. “That can happen?!”
A sudden scream pierces the air, cutting off our confused puzzling. The oil within me goes cold at the sound of my own voice gasping for help. I turn around just in time to catch the other V dig her claws into the other me’s arms. N thankfully reacts before I do, yanking her off of my strange doppelgänger. He knocks her clawed hands back with a swipe of his sick sword arm and presses her to the snow, holding her back. The other V snarls and strikes at him with her tail before lurching backwards, face reappearing from her angered ‘X’.
“N?” Her crazed anger fades almost instantly.
“Yes, V?” All of us turn to the dying steam as the final drone wanders through it. “Wh-? N?!” The other V writhes her way out of N’s grasp and stalks in front of her version of N. “What’s going on?! Who are you?”
My N and V stand ready by both my sides while I look the two of them over. That N looks scragglier somehow, like the first time I met him — still recovering from the last time J attacked him. The other V.. honestly just looks kinda scared right now.
Wait.. where’s the other me?
I break away from N and V and help her up as she shakily lifts herself from the snow. “I don’t need help,” she grumbles, but she lets me bring her upright anyway. She stares at me for a while, looking over my bi-colored eyes and glancing over at N and V. “Are you like.. a disassembly drone version of me?” she asks hesitantly, “You look really freakin cool, like something badass happened to me.”
I grin, accidentally bearing my new sharp teeth at her. “Something very badass and edgy and cool happened to me!” I correct the other me eagerly, “but I’m not a disassembly drone, I’m scarier than that.” Her brows scrunch up. She points past me at the others. “Then what the hell do you have them for? Like pets or something?”
I can hear V sneer in the background and I turn to give her a look. She rolls her eyes at the notion, but her worry marks flicker into the tiniest bit of blush. N’s eyes get really big, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Nah, they’re my… Well, they’re my partners now, actually.” I do my best to keep my emotions in check; saying that aloud makes my core flutter.
“WHAT?!” the other me gasps, “Ew! What the-?! No! That’s such a weird and.. c-crazy thing to want! No one would be insane enough to date a murder- two murder drones! I thought you were the cooler me!”
I flare out a wing to block the two of us from sight and pull her a bit further aside. “What were you doing before you got here?” I ask. “Huh?” “What were you doing before you got here?” “I was running from the corpse spire; it’s a long story, but I was looking for parts for my railgun when-”
“Yeah yeah yeah, I know all that, it’s what happened to me forever ago.” I excitedly take her hand and squeeze it, “You’re me from like a year ago.” “I am?!” Nodding, I release her hand and gesture to the others.
“Look, we’re gonna get two hot vampires to date in the future, and have awesome cursed witch powers ok? I know that’s exactly what you want because I’m you, so just trust me on this.” The other me stares at me with eyes so wide her eyebrows lift off her screen. She nods slowly, stepping back to stare at my wings. I quickly put them away. I also don’t mention all the fucked-up crazy stuff that happens to me — to us, I guess — along the way. She’ll figure it out when it happens.
I return to N and V with the other me trailing behind at a distance. My V is in a yelling match with her counterpart, and the other N’s are puzzling over why there’s two of me. They seem to have accepted the fact that there’s two of them for some reason.
“V, N?” both my disassembly drones pause what they’re doing to look back at me. “I figured it out!” I announce, “These three are us from a year ago. Before we all knew eachother.”
“Is it true?!” the past V gasps, jutting a clawed finger at me. “Did you kill Cyn?” I blink at her, taken aback. “H-Huh?” My V comes to my rescue, looping her tail protectively around me. “She did!” V insists, “Look!” I yelp as V grabs my tail and shows her Cyn’s awful head. V gives me a split second apologetic look before turning back. “This is all that’ll be left of Cyn.”
The other V glares at her skeptically. “You expect me to trust that little emo thing is going to kill what we couldn’t for like.. forever?”
“Yes,” V replies immediately. “You’ll want to kill her when she starts getting taken over, but you have to let her live. I’m serious. She’s gonna save your life someday- our life, and it’ll be better than it ever was, I swear. Better than the manor, better than all of it before then.”
The other V still looks unconvinced, but her claws fold away into normal hands again, and she gives the ground she’s staring through a desperately longing look. When she finally glances back up, she examines my V from afar. “And you’re living that life.. right now?” V nods, “If I’m you from the future, you’ll get here too. The only horrible shit you’ll ever see again will be in your nightmares, and that’s it.”
In a fraction of a second, the other V’s eyes well with tears before she shakes them off. “That’s impossible.” But she says it like she doesn’t believe it.
“I uhh, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I kinda want to ask this before I forget.” Everyone turns to face the other N. “Oh! You didn’t have to stop everything!” he gasps when everyone quiets to listen to him, “I was just wondering where J is.”
All three of us — me, N, and V — give eachother sideways glances. “She’s out on a solo mission, buddy,” N tells his duplicate. “I know you’re worried about her, but sometimes she needs space to do her own thing.”
I mean I guess he isn’t wrong. J’s been ‘out on a solo mission’ since I defeated Cyn. No one’s been able to find her since. V says she probably doesn’t want to be found, but N keeps trying to find her anyway.
From nowhere, crackling electricity flickers upwards from the ground, which, you know, should be impossible, but so is all of this. The reverse lightning strike rockets back into the sky.
“I- I think that’s our cue to get back,” the other N gasps.
My past self steps towards the strange light, then turns to me. “Things’ll.. all work out in the future, right?” “Yeah,” I answer with a shrug, “Eventually.” She nods to me, then rushes in. The other N follows her.
V’s past self takes one last long look at the three of us. “Are you three like.. together?” she asks us. “Yep,” I respond. Just for fun I stand on my toes and kiss her future self on the cheek. My V blushes. The other V balks at the loving gesture.
“Oh hell no. That is not happening. No way. I’m gonna make sure of that.” She turns her back on us, then steps through into the crackling bolt a moment before it zaps away into the sky.
