Moni

Car problems are great bc I can finally get that disgusting $600 that I hated out of my bank account

shout-out to the person i overheard today rushing into an antiques shop to ask, very urgently, ‘do you have any silver crosses?’. wishing you well in your fight against the creatures of darkness, friend

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.

I was too scared to watch edward scissorhands has a kid but I thought about how could a woman go through pregnancy with a fetus growing metal scissors hands it took years of theorizing, still without watching the movie, to even think that maybe he wasn’t born with scissor hands

maybe women are stronger than you think

Sorry listening and learning here

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment King situation.

You're right. I SHOULD be able to take the train from Minneapolis to Berlin.

Fun fact: In several European countries where the drinking age is 18, and the age you can get a driver's license is also 18, there's a window of time where someone who just turned 18 and doesn't have a driver's license to use as an ID yet will simply use their passport. Shitfaced and unsupervised just-newly-legal-adults teenagers from the heart of central Europe showing up in Canada because someone thought "hey let's go to Texas lmao" and nobody was sober enough to say that that's a terrible idea.

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom