things i wish i could say but cant

Hello people of tumblr, i am asking you to donate money (whatever you can please) to help me leave my parents' house because i have absolutely no life, its a raging hell over here. I am not allowed to leave the house to even a friend's house. I feel like i am in a jail. My phone is taken away every now and then and i have no communication with anyone. I have no friends. I wanna die all the time. My parents are emotionally manipulative and turn around each and every thing to make me feel guilty about it and blame me for everything. "Fight in the house? - its because of you. The house isn't clean? - its because of you. Chances of my parents getting divorced? - yes you guessed it" and what not. Now i know you'd think that these are trifle matters but no these aren't, things escalate to a point where it goes down in shouting, blaming, crying, fits and sometimes suicide attempts(me). The manipulation has been going on from when i was in 8th grade. The physical abuse is in control but it isn't zero. This is a cry for help because if i dont get out of here soon I'd die. My mother came to me and 'told' me that "if you think you're depressed, you're faking it and you really need to behave normally. This is stupid. After all we've done for you, you can't be depressed. You have no reason to be depressed." - this is after I've told them repeatedly how i feel and what they do makes me feel like dying 10 times a day. They do not understand and make it worse by saying that i am faking it and they make me feel guilty about hating them because they are my 'family' but they dont see that they are toxic and abusive. I swear to god i ask myself the same question everyday, what if i am faking it? What if im overreacting? And idk if i am faking it or not but i know that i can't take it anymore. I need money to rent a small room and pay for basic food and water. Bc rn i have no source of income. And amidst current conditions, if you cannot donate, i totally understand. I would really appreciate it if you'd please boost this post. Thank you💜