Gotta Blast

idk what I expected but it wasn’t the actual song and it certainly wasn’t that either

television history

i’ve been trying to explain this sketch to people for years

I SPELLED BEVERAGE WRONG

the wiring and kitchen area says house, the people lined up at the counter says bar, and the ceiling says middle school classroom. I like it. 

The buildup of this video compared the seconds-long vine that’s usually passed around made this fucking clip 100x funnier

bert was always my favorite muppet as a kid and TBH I stand by this as an adult. 

this is NUTS

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

this is the only food critic I’ll accept at my restaurant.

@beastlysoul

Feeding your animals (safe) but new-to-them foods is botha great source of enrichment for the and endless hilarity for you.  I reccomend green beans because they’re unwieldly for them to eat so its an involved process.

HSHDJDJ

Dont avada kedavra the messenger

THIS IS LITERALLY UNHhhh

@mifengdianying

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

Did he survive?

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

You know you fucked up when your mom tells someone to call the police about your ridiculous behavior because she tried but she is DONE, you’re supposed to be a man by now.