let mom sleep

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

pulling my tamagotchi out of my pocket in the same way a distinguished old man would check his pocket watch

It’s so fucked up that experiences from previous relationships can forever impact your ability to form and maintain new relationships. They should patch that out

when people say my name im like.   cant believe i exist

crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

turn your attention to The Character