a dynasty, an empire

"Look how tiny she was!", Hayden texts, followed by another handful of pictures of teeny tiny Amber. And Shane loves his nices and nephew, has always cherished that he gets to be Uncle Shane to them and watch them grow up.

"Cute!", Shane texts back before he scrolls through the pictures one by one. It has been ages and at the same time five minutes since Amber, now gap-toothed and, last Shane saw her, wearing a mud soaked bumblebee dress as she was kneeling in the garden orchestrating a tea party for the frogs in the Pike's pond, was barely old enough to hold up her own head.

A new message from Hayden comes through, though this time it's a video. It's taken from outside Amber's nursery, the hallway dark. The soft light from her various nightlights offers just enough to show the outline of Shane, holding Amber in his arms and swaying slowly from side to side as he's singing softly in French.

"Teething gate!!", Hayden writes. "Saved my ass back then, only thing that got us through that evening. Still a legend for busting out the singing, bud."

And yeah, Shane remembers. He'd come over to help Hayden with the kids, giving Jackie a break now that her husband was back from his roadie, allowing her to get a full nights sleep again. He remembers the bone deep exhaustion when nothing they tried helped with soothing Amber. He remembers Hayden, close to tears, heading downstairs to get one of the teething rings they kept in the freezer in the hope that maybe this time it would help soothe her pain. And Shane had stood there, holding a softly hiccuping Amber in his arms, heart breaking for her and wanting nothing more than to take the pain away.

And suddenly he'd remembered his dad holding him in his arms when he couldn't sleep, mind too loud and running a mile a minute even as a kid, carrying him through their house and singing softly to him.

Shane didn't realize until now that Hayden had recorded him singing.

He's brought back to the present by Ilya nudging his thigh with his foot. "What are you watching?", Ilya asks, his own phone lowered to his chest.

Shane can already feel his cheeks heat up. It's not as if he makes a habit of singing and he's pretty sure he has never sung near Ilya, let alone told him about it.

"Nothing", Shane says quickly. He knows it's to no avail when Ilya raises his eyebrows at him.

"You have been starring at your phone for past ten minutes. Looks very interesting for video about nothing", Ilya says.

And so Shane ends up showing the video to Ilya. He has heard him anyway and there's this curious glint in his eyes that Shane knows well enough by now. He's not going to let it go so might as well go full in.

Ilya's eyes light up when he realises that it's Shane who's singing, in French no less. He insists on watching the video three more times and begs Shane to send it to him afterwards.

Of course, he also looks up the original song. "It's a good song, but you have much prettier voice than her", Ilya tells him after listening to the tong for the first time, leaning up to kiss his jaw. Shane pulls him close, hand automatically finding Ilya's curls as he makes himself comfortable on Shane's shoulder. He kisses Ilya's forehead, listening as the song starts anew.

They listen to it in silce for a while before Ilya asks, "Why this song?"

And, well.

"My parents played it once when I was over at their house for dinner", Shane starts. Well aware that Ilya will want to know more than that, Shane tries not to focus on how fast his heart is beating as he continues. "It's, uhm, a love song. It's an old song, the singer sings about how she misses her husband when he is out at sea, watching the storms that pass by. She always waits at the shore, watching as the boats come back in, looking for the boat where the sunshine illuminates her husband's blonde curls, bringing him and the sunshine back to her."

Shane resolutely stares at the point just above the TV as he mumbles the last part, cheeks aflame.

Ilya sits up from he was resting against Shane, softly taking his chin in his hands to turn Shane so he's facing Ilya.

Ilya waggles with his eyebrows. "I did not realize you were so in love with handsome blonde sailor, Hollander", he teases, laughing as Shane shoves him away with an eye-roll and a "Fuck off, asshole!"

They both know there's no heat behind either statement, not when Shane immediately pulls Ilya close to him again and Ilya lays his head back on his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to Shane's throat as he does so.

Shane knows Ilya has long put one and one together, has figured out why Shane might have been drawn to a song about waiting for your loved one to return to you. Has figured out why Shane would sing a song about a man with blond curly hair. Knows they both remember when waiting meant months and sweing each other for a handful of hours, a couple of days if they were lucky. Feels it in the way Ilya presses against him, the way he himself holds Ilya close with no intent of letting him go soon.

Again, it's Ilya who breaks the silence. "Shane?", he asks, quiet and without a note of teasing in his voice. "Would you sing it to me? My song?"

And Shane has never been able to withold Ilya anything he asks for. Neither of them mention the fact that Ilya called it his song. After all, the song had been Ilya's long before Ilya had become Shane's.

The other guys who came with Ilya to visit Shane at the hospital all go "aww, Hollzy you romantic" and "Can't wait go hear this", because Shane is looking at Ilya with eyes full of love and this sweet smile while running his thumb over the wedding ring on his chain. So obviously they all expect some kind of romantic retelling of how they met or a memory the two of them share.

Cue Ilya making a rare appearance at Bood's Barbeque because it's the team's chance to meet little Milo for the first time. Everyone congratulates the parents and oohs and aaws at Milo. Cue Bood asking "anyone want to hold him?"

And Ilya is the first to volunteer, already reaching out his hands. And Bood, like any new parent, starts the "Alright here we go, now be careful to support the head-" only to trail off because Ilya does not need any help. For some strange reason, Ilya fucking Rozanov is a pro at holding a baby, murmuring to him in Russian swaying him softly in his arms.

The Groupchat ("CenBros NO CAP") goes wild because how the fuck is Rozy so good with babies. And then one of the rookies is like "maybe he has a baby??" and at first everyone scoffs because, hello. This is Ilya Rozanov we're talking about.

On second thought, though.

Ilya did move to Ottawa seemingly out of nowhere.

He did buy a house in the suburbs.

He is strangely secretive about who he's texting all the time.

He is skipping almost every team event.

Suddenly it all makes sense. Ilya has a girlfriend (wife??) and he moved to Ottawa for her so that they could raise their child together. And of course he's almost never attending a team outing or leaving early, he has a child at home! Of course he's secretive about it, Ottawa or not he's still Ilya fucking Rozanov, papped every second day. It only makes sense that he'd want to protect the identiy of his girlfriend (wife??) and child.

The final piece of evidence is overheard by Holmberg and Young on a random Thurday after practice. Ilya clearly hasn't noticed them as he walks to his car, a fond smile on his face and obviously focused on his phone call. "Goodnight, I miss you very much. I will be home soon", he says. It's followed by laughter and Ilya adding that "Yes, of course is necessary! I have been away all day, my daughter must hear me say goodnight to her."

Holmberg and Young (standing next to Young's car and therefore hidden from Ilya's view) stare at each other with open mouths and wide eyes. Because holy fucking shit Rozy just confirmed he has a daughter?? And based on the conversation also a girlfriend/wife??

Shane and Ilya are invited to a sexy Halloween party and they decided to do cow boy and his cow and they rock paper scissors to see who will get to be the cowboy and Ilya wins.

And he's all smug about it like "what Shane, are you grumpy you have to be my cow? At least you are very pretty one"

And throughout the week or so they have to plan Ilya bugs Shane trying to figure out what he's doing for his costume and Shane refuses to tell but Ilya knows that spark in Shane's eyes and knows he's planning something.

When the party comes up, last minute Shane says they should change and travel separately. That he's gonna go pregame and get ready with rose and Ilya's sad but whatever he guesses he's less likely to get distracted iykwim

So that's what they do and Ilya gets there first which is very unlike Shane. Ilya's outfit is pretty straight to the point but still sexy. Low buttoned shirt, tight jeans, rolled up sleeves, etc.

After about 10 more minutes he finally catches sight of Shane and holy shit.

Shane really went all out on the sexy part, clearly trying to get back at ilya. He's wearing the shortest shorts he could possibly get away with without it being public nudity. A cow print button down shirt that's tied up by his waist so his belly is showing. No sleeves at all and boots, and do top it all off little cow ears and a tail.

He's even got a fucking bell on and rose helped him do some cute makeup on his nose. Ilya's absolute drooling and the worst part is it's obvious Ilya isn't the only one drooling over Shane either.

Shane strides over to Ilya and holds himself with confidence. At some point he pulls out a little leash and clips it to his bell collar before promptly handing it to Ilya, looking somehow so innocent as he does all of it.

and i'm laughing about ilya feeling absolutely BETRAYED the first time anya hops off of his lap to trot after shane up to their room

his OWN DAUGHTER-

ilya, she just likes our bed and knows i'm going up

-TO BETRAY HIM LIKE THIS, AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE-

dude, you could also just come upstairs if you're that fucking bothered about it

-NO LOYALTY IN THIS HOUSE. NONE. ALL AROUND HIM ARE TRAITORS-

and shane feels sick that ilya’s sitting at home, all alone, nobody to take care of him. he doesn’t have any close friends on his team yet, and even if he did, they’re playing hockey games and can’t be taking care of him.

shane looks at his schedule to see if he can make it home for a few days, but even with skipping optional practices he can’t be back in ottawa for more than 4 hours.

so shane enlists his mom to take care of ilya. (at this point, yuna and david aren’t super close with ilya as he just moved).

yuna is, of course, happy to help. she heads over with homemade soup and meal replacement shakes and an arsenal of over the counter medications for whatever symptoms ilya has.

when she shows up, she expects ilya is going to brush her off, tell her he’s fine and doesn’t need help, and she’s going to have to push herself in. but that’s not what happens at all.

when ilya answers the door, he looks HORRIBLE. and yuna immediately gets some food into him, changes his sheets and gets him into bed to lower his fever.

shane is texting his mom for updates every hour, and yuna is telling shane how sweet ilya is and how thankful he’s been. he doesn’t want to put her out but she can tell how tired and sick he is. they play some card games together and watch movies. yuna drives him to his checkup with the team doctor to make sure he’s progressing okay. he gets a lot better but is still a bit under the weather by the end of the week.

finally, it’s sunday and shane is driving to ottawa to relieve yuna. he speeds all the way there, anxious to see his boyfriend again. when he lets himself into ilya’s house, it’s eerily quiet.

“hello?” shane calls.

he hears yuna shushing him from the living room, and heads towards the sound.

he comes to find ilya asleep, curled up on his side with his head in yuna’s lap. she is running her hands through ilya’s hair soothingly.

shane immediately takes out his phone to grab a picture and tears up a little at the scene.

“Ilya, please.” Shane was trying to appeal to his sense of mercy, even though the definition of insanity was doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. “Baby. I can’t anymore—“

“But I spent two thousand dollars on this and want my money’s worth,” Ilya said, unkindly. “Which is not you shooting off in twenty seconds.”

“I physically can’t—“ A loud groan cut off the rest of the sentence, and he was already struggling to speak over the sound of the motor. The dildo was a bit smaller than Ilya, but where Ilya might’ve slowed down or adjusted his position, it just kept going in a relentless, powerful rhythm, and the conclusion felt inevitable. He was going to come, and then Ilya would have to figure out some way to ‘punish’ him, and right now that idea sounded a lot better than trying to fight against a machine and win.

1. the only person shane lets himself drink with is therefore, obviously, rose. and only in the safety of either of their apartments. they get wine drunk one night and he tells her SO much more detail than “i kinda prefer being the hole rather than the peg” and rose is FLOORED and obsessed. tell me more immediately

2. once shane is on the cens and finally #healing from his internalized homophobia and the trauma of his outing and has done some work grappling with the intersection with his racial identity etc etc (therapy amirite) he Also lets himself drink at one of bood’s bbqs. everyone learns So Much that night.

the ottawags are delighted. dykstra and chouinard are learning So Much tonight, mostly against their will, but hey, dykstra is a goddamn ally so he’s not going anywhere and choui just loves Love too much to bail (sue him, he and selena are high school sweethearts). bood is ecstatic and clutching his own hands to his chest, tears in his eyes with pride that his work wife ilya rozanov is every inch (hah) the legend he knew in his heart ilya would be. wyatt is fascinated and curious and has about 100 different technical/logistical questions which shane is all too happy to answer. troy’s Stunned (and has to admit to himself he never could have handled All Of That). harris and a plastered-luca chime in every now and then with “yeah i totally get it” “oh for SURE” “mhm mhmmmmm” like shane’s own little horny greek chorus, as the rest of the babies (lapointe/holmberg/young) all are equal parts more turned on than they ever thought they could be (hm. much to think about) and also in full hero worship mode because damn shane hollander was already the best of the best and what do you mean he’s putting up points like that when he also takes THAT every night (and sometimes in the morning too??)

ilya comes back from a quick trip inside to help cassie carry some plates into the kitchen only to find shane holding court in the middle of the backyard, yapping at 300 km/h with the kind of speed clarity and precision he only gives his special interests (sex and hockey) and just stands there, jaw on the floor, as shane goes “no, the thing you have to understand is that girth matters. like REALLY matters. because like, i’m not trying to get fucked by a pencil, yknow? so it’s not just that he’s got all nine of the inches he never shuts up about but dude, he’s so thick. sooooo thick god the stretch is incredible. and when he’s got that it’s like, there’s basically no position or angle from which he can’t get my prostate, so it’s just blindingly good all the time. yeah i mean i came dry last night at the end bc by orgasm four i had nothing left and i probably saw god”

someone sees ilya over shane’s shoulder and starts wolf whistling, so shane turns around and at first his reaction is what it always is when he sees ilya - that sweet joy of just spotting him, whether it’s been an hour or a week, whether they’ve been on opposite sides of the continent for foundation business or just opposite sides of the house. but then, he lets out a loud cackle - unrestrained, free, with no attempt to smother it.

Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid.

Patrick Swayze, specifically in Dirty Dancing because his mom would watch that movie whenever it came on and nine year old Shane would join her, watching with an innocent but fixed fascination he usually only ever showed for hockey related things.

Li Shang in Mulan.

An 8th grade classmate who occasionally told the other boys to knock it off when they made jokes at Shane's expense. He had that 90s popular boy curtain bangs haircut and Shane would sometimes fantasize about brushing the hair away from his face.

The boy who was the Captain of his U15 team the year he joined. Confused it for hero worship. He had a habit of ruffling Shane's hair and of teasing him in a way that sometimes crossed the line from affectionate to mean. Both gave Shane butterflies.

Scott Hunter, also confused for hero worship.

A 12th grade classmate who was on the basketball team and who always stood just a little bit too close whenever he talked to Shane, forcing Shane to crane his neck to look up at him.

Ilya Rozanov, unfortunately.

Carter Vaughn. He's cute, he's friendly, and he throws his arm around Shane's shoulders whenever they meet.

Ilya Rozanov, still.

A photographer who takes Shane's pictures for one of his many brand deals and is a little more hands-on than most, without touching Shane in any way that could be construed as inappropriate. Tells Shane "good job, kid, you're a natural" once the shoot is over, his voice warm and deep.

His boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov.

J.J. Boiziau, after J.J. takes him out to a gay club post Shane coming out and forces him onto the dancefloor with him. This crush is swiftly snuffed out the next week when J.J. tosses his socks at him in the locker room and the smell nearly knocks Shane out cold.

then the raiders shoot a PSA for the boston library. it’s the first time ilya’s been in a library since he was a child. and he simply cannot handle the librarians. they spend an extra hour filming because ilya stutters whenever someone with glasses asks him a direct question. he misspells his own name while getting a library card when the man helping him rebuttons the top of his collared shirt. he tries to flirt with a woman reshelving books by asking her what the numbers on the spines mean and if he can get hers; she doesn't clock his pick-up line and explains the dewey decimal system to him for ten minutes. ilya blushes the entire time. 

no one is asking for this but i have to make my one million hours on ao3 mean something

the texture of memory: very very very good, read it i am so serious, completed

the anatomy of a bird heart in slow decay: a love story ft ghosts, grief, mothers and sons, and survival. completed

car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6: hollanov character study, power and love, i adore those freaks so much <3, completed

fall in love again and again: the classic tuna-melt groundhog day, with a house of leaves flavour, completed

Jessica: teenaged shane as seen through his relationship with his high school girlfriend, i love them both so unbearably much, completed

home economics: nhl lockout leads to hollanov living together in the situationship era-there's no way this could go wrong! completed

Route 96 Kanata: shane suffers a career ending injury before meeting ilya but where there's a will there's a tortured hollanov situationship nonetheless. full of fantastic ottawan idiosyncrasies. wip

World on Your Shoulders: what if shane had a queer rookie while deep in the midst of his "i'm not gay" era? hilarious shane characterization, this whole series is a dark comedy that i want to swallow whole, completed

adding a cut because this got so fucking long lmao

"That smell, I know that smell." Ilya is visibly confused but his pupils have dilated slightly, his body catching on before his brain can catch up. "Is that—? What are you wearing?"

"It's just cologne. I thought that's what people did before this kind of thing." Shane puts his hands in his pockets and tries to look casual. He is absolutely not going to laugh at the bewildered look on Ilya's face.

"What kind of thing? What are you talking about?"

"You know. Before meeting up like this." He swallows. Squares his shoulders. "I mean, I gave you my room number. I told you I wasn't a chicken."

He can pinpoint the exact moment that it clicks into place for Ilya what is happening. His mouth falls open. "You… it's— Hollander," he exhales. His eyes have gone almost entirely black and his breathing is ragged.

Shane leans back against the door and tilts his chin down, looking up at Ilya through his eyelashes. "This is such a bad idea."

And look, whatever issues they've had to work on with communication over the course of their marriage, they have always had impeccable instincts with each other on the ice and in the bedroom. Shane is immensely thankful for the former but the latter is what's going to get him killed one day, because he has apparently activated Ilya's prey drive. He is boxed in against the door and his heart is beating double time. Game on, Rozanov.

"What is?" Ilya's voice is gravelly, his accent thicker than it's been in a long time. It makes Shane feel dizzy. He cups Shane's jaw and leans in, right on cue.

This is the man he married, he knows. He has kissed this man thousands upon thousands of times by now. But damned if it doesn't feel just like the first time again. Ilya kisses him slowly, as though he's testing the waters. The first warm slide of his tongue against the seam of his lips makes Shane moan into his husband's mouth.

Not your husband yet, he reminds himself as Ilya wraps a hand around the back of his neck to tangle in his hair. This is just Rozanov. Of course, it's with the benefit of hindsight and a bit more life experience that he remembers that first kiss and knows that they were kidding themselves that it had ever been casual. Ilya has never been just anything to him.

He knows the next part of the script. He drops to his knees. Ilya looks down at him with hooded eyes, his mouth gone slack. His cock is straining against his jeans. Shane tries to remember what it was like to not know the weight of it on his tongue, the taste of it, the feeling of it splitting him open. He decides to try it a little differently this time around and looks up at Ilya, making his eyes as wide and innocent as he can. "I've never done anything like this before. I, um, I might not be very good."

Ilya's forehead thunks against the door. "Gospodi. You really will murder me." He inhales sharply and puts his thumb on Shane's bottom lip. Shane takes it into his mouth and sucks gently, his tongue swirling around the tip. "Just like that, Hollander. That's what you will do with my cock. Take it slow, yes?"