5 Cups of Coffee Later

October is the National Domestic Violence Awareness month - to raise awareness for this here is a list of songs that are inspired by domestic violence.

The list speaks from many different aspect regarding domestic violence: from the victim pretending it’s not that bad, to the victim that fights bad, to the child witnessing the acts of violence, to the neighbor overhearing it from the apartment next door. 

Domestic violence appears in many different shapes and forms, many times it’s so subtle that the abuser doesn’t even realize what is going let alone the victim.

For more understanding about what an abusive relationship is like, please click here.

Here is the list of songs I promised. Also, for a playlist compiled of songs inspired by domestic violence, click here.

Share this with your friends - let’s raise awareness for domestic violence, through music.

1. The Crystals - He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss) This song was largely perceived as an endorsement of domestic abuse. To be fair, the lyrics do seem to glorify the relationship, as a woman exults in her lover’s reaction to her infidelity: “If he didn’t care for me / I could have never made him mad / But he hit me, and I was glad.”

2. Bessie Smith - Outside of That In this song, Bessie writes off her lover’s abuse as just one minor sticking point in their relationship. Though he’s “the meanest man in the land ... heartless and also cruel”, she’s so swept up in their passionate love life that she’s willing to forgive him his bouts of violence. Or is she? When she tells him, “for fun”, that she’s leaving him, he blackens bot her eyes, blinding her, then pawns everything he ever gave her ...but as she says, “outside of that, he’s all right with me”.

3. Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Jordan - Stone Cold Dead in the Market (He Had it Coming) About a woman who publicly kills her drunken, abusive husband, either with a frying pan, a cookpot, or a rolling pin, depending which verse you believe. Both singers have clearly been in this mutually violent relationship for a while, and both sound entirely chipper about it singing “He ain’t going to beat me no more”, Fitzgerald croons in an ersatz Jamaican accent, “So I Tell you that I doesn’t care if I was to die in the ‘lectric chair. Mon!” Jordan, for his part jocularly ends the song with “Hey, child, I’m coming back and bash you on yo head one more time.” Presumably the jazzy, bouncy music, the exotic accents, and the overall air of good humor contributed to this song becoming wildly popular during an era when household violence wasn’t spoken of publicly.

4. Nickelback - Never Again This is about a scared, miserable kid, singing about his dad repeatedly getting drunk and beating his mom. The singer isf illed with banal lyrics and impotent rage, but like so many abuse victims in rock songs, mom eventually takes the situation and weapon into her own hands and beats the kid to the punch, so to speak.

5. Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl This song follows the exploits of best friends Mary Anne and Wanda, as they plot the death of Wanda’s abusive husband Earl, who, after Wanda files for a divorce “walked right through that restraining order / and put her in intensive care”. Once Earl is poisoned by black-eyed peas, wrapped up in a tarp, and dumped in a lake to rot, the police swiftly abandon the case, since Earl is “a missing person who nobody missed at all”. Taking the dark humor of the song one step further, the celebrity-laden video features Dennis Franz as the mulleted Earl, who posthumously reappears as a dancing corpse.

6. Miranda Lambert - Gunpowder & Lead “His fist is big, but my gun’s bigger”, she sings bridging the gap between self-defense and schoolyard taunt. “He’ll find out when I pull the trigger”. This song presents her as a kick-ass chick with a hair-trigger temper- definitely not the type an abusive man should come home to when we makes bail. Whether that shot gets fired at his hide or in the air, chances are he’ll get the message.

7. Martina McBride - Independence Day This song is narrated by an 8-year-old girl whose mother burns down the family house with her husband still in it.This song lands some solid blows, particularly in its condemnation of a community that let the abuse continue unchecked.

8. Antony and the Johnsons - Fistful of Love This song paints a picture of a romance where one party speaks with words and the other with fists. As the song builds to a rapturous conclusions, it conveys the truth that not every scar (metaphorical or otherwise) is left with malicious intent. Sometimes “it’s out of love”.

9. Cheap Trick - The House is Rockin’ (With Domestic Problems) Over one of Rick Nielsen’s simple yet twisty riffs, Cheap Trick belts out what almost sounds like a celebration of a couple’s blowout fight and the “heavy, heavy, heavy troubles” that cause it. By the end of the song, it’s clear there are children and a gun involved, and not much else. The song maintains a silly mood by never identifying a victim or the consequences.

10 - 11. Billy Bragg - Levi Stubbs’ Tears / Valentine’s Day is Over In Levi Stubbs’ Tears, Bragg sings of how the tunes composed for the lead singer of the Four Tops help one poor young thing endure after her sailor husband “put a hole in her body where no hole should be”. In Valentine’s Day is Over, he sings that she has endured her fair share of abuse as well, but when she says “thank you for the things you taught me when you hit me hard”, it’s an acknowledgement that she’s had all she can stand of such treatment - as she later clarifies, until he figures out that love is about understanding rather than physical violence, “you’ll find your things all stacked out on the landing.”

12. Tracy Chapman - Behind the Wall Last night I heard the screaming,” Chapman begins, launching into a tale of an apartment-dweller who awakens to the sounds of a husband beating his wife on the other side of the wall. Calling the police does nothing, she quickly discovers, as “they always come late, if they come at all,” and even when they show up, “they say they can’t interfere with domestic affairs between a man and his wife.” The song ends sadly, with the screaming ending, the wife being taken away in an ambulance, and a policeman telling all the bystanders to go home, adding, “I think we all could use some sleep.”

13 - 15. Eminem - Kim / ‘97 Bonnie & Clyde / Love the Way You Lie Eminem’s contentious relationship with his on-again-off-again wife/girlfriend/baby-mamma Kim is well documented throughout his discography, but never more overtly and sinisterly than on the tracks “’97 Bonnie And Clyde” and “Kim,” both of which revel in Em hypothetically killing his nemesis/muse while taking their daughter Hailie along for the ride. (Sample lyric: “Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake.”) A decade later, “Love The Way You Lie” traded out the murder fantasy for a more tempered reflection on a mutually destructive relationship. Then again, having recent domestic-violence victim Rihanna sing “I like the way it hurts” on the chorus of “Love The Way You Lie” is almost as creepy as taking a baby to her mother’s murder. 

16. the Beatles - Run For Your Life he song was written by John Lennon, who took the first line—“I’d rather see you dead, little girl / than to be with another man”—from the Elvis Presley song “Baby, Let’s Play House.” Lennon twisted the original song’s theme of desire into one of jealousy; the narrator refers to himself as “a wicked guy” with  “a jealous mind.” 

17. Florence + the Machine - Kiss With a Fist lorence Welch is on record as saying “Kiss With A Fist” isn’t about domestic violence, but rather “two people pushing each other to psychological extremes because they love each other.” Fair enough, but she’s asking for literal interpretation with lyrics like “You hit me once, I hit you back / You gave a kick, I gave a slap / You smashed a plate over my head / Then I set fire to our bed.” Metaphorical or not, “Kiss With A Fist” is a laundry list of the pain two people can inflict upon each other, from broken jaws to black eyes to spilled blood, all in the name of true love. Because according to the chorus, “a kiss with a fist”—or a kiss with a metaphorical word-fist of psychological abuse, apparently—“is better than none.”

18. Archers of Loaf - Tatyana The narrator loves his “Slavic girl,” and tells her so. But she sometimes makes him angry, at which point he grabs her hair and throws her into the wall. The people around them have the wrong idea: “All the neighbors say we’re happy… and they’re wrong.”

19. Travis - the Blue Flashing Light After the 10 soothingly bummed-out tracks of The Man Who comes the hidden track “The Blue Flashing Light,” a terse portrait of life in a turbulent household. Singer-songwriter Fran Healy had an abusive father, who fueled both this song and the later “Re-Offender.” “Flashing Light” is fiercer, or at least as fierce as a Travis song can be, with a minor-key jangle underpinning Healy’s unflinching imagery of a man stumbling home and “spilling alcohol over the floor.” Violence is in the air, with dad yelling “you’re a slut, you’re a bitch, you’re a whore,” and though the narrator eventually gets his violent own back, the emotional damage is done.

20. Dresden Dolls - Delilah Palmer crafts a melancholy ballad about the song’s title character, a woman inexorably drawn to men who abuse her. “He’s gonna beat you like a pillow / You schizos never learn,” sings a frustrated Palmer, “and if you take him home / you’ll get what you deserve.” Apparently Palmer never heard the bit about not blaming the victim; still, “Delilah” winds up being brutally, bracingly honest.

21. Pink Floyd - Don’t Leave Me Now “Don’t Leave Me Now,” a track that taps into Roger Waters’ neurosis following the disintegration of his marriage. One of the most harrowing chapters of the concept album’s story arc, the song’s ice-pick synths and wrathful guitar—not to mention Waters’ pinched, pained voice—add ghastly atmosphere to revenge-fantasy lines like “How could you go? / When you know how I need you / to beat to a pulp on Saturday night.”

22. Wilco - She’s a Jar This song describes a lover in phrases that could be read as compliments or insults: “My pop-quiz kid / a sleepy kisser / a pretty war.” But by the end, the situation has grown darker, and Tweedy’s last line—“you know she begs me not to hit her”—removes the last protective ambiguity.

23. Insane Clown Posse - Hall of Illusions In this song, they present two starkly different scenarios: in the alternate-universe reality without domestic abuse, children grow up to be doctors; in the real world of domestic abuse, they instead sell crack to each other en route to becoming gutter-dwelling crack whores. “Hall Of Illusions” presents a stark moral choice: Listeners can eschew domestic abuse and lead a life of good deeds before ascending to the eternal paradise of Shangri-La, or continue to behave in an ungodly manner and suffer the torments of the damned at the hands of the Great Milenko.

24. Green Day - Pulling Teeth Billie Joe Armstrong delivers his lines from the perspective of a battered husband held hostage by infatuation: “I’m all busted up / broken bones and nasty cuts,” he wails before confessing, “She comes to check on me / making sure I’m on my knees / After all, she’s the one who put me in this state.” In spite of the constant violence, he just can’t escape the lady (and apparently, the knuckles) he loves.

25. Sonic Youth - Shoot “Shoot” is—at least musically—as hazy and cryptic as anything it’s ever done. Lyrically, though, “Shoot” is on target. Sung by Kim Gordon in her eeriest whisper/screech combo, the song tells the tale of a pregnant young woman who secretly plans to put on a little lipstick, borrow some cash and a car from her abusive boyfriend, get an abortion, and hit the open road. Her reason is vividly, achingly clear: “Since we’ve been together, you’ve been good to me / You only hit me when you want to be pleased.”

26. Bobby Digital - Domestic Violence In the form of his alter ego Bobby Digital, unleashes a devastating torrent of verbal abuse on a girlfriend. Voice rising to a fever pitch, RZA screams some of the most vicious insults ever put to wax: “And when you leave me, bitch, you’re gonna be a ho / Cellulite and gargoyle feet / I’d rather beat my meat / That raggy-ass pussy, a starving dog wouldn’t eat.” And an unnamed woman returns his verbal abuse volley for volley. The short film is abstract to the point of incoherence, though it conveys the theme of domestic violence much more viscerally than the track that inspired it; such is the way of the RZA.

27. Bob Mould - Lost Zoloft Singer-songwriter Bob Mould grew up in an abusive household, but “Lost Zoloft” is about the under-reported phenomenon of same-sex spousal abuse. “You think you know the animal until you strike a certain nerve,” Mould sings, which could be about any abusive relationship, until he mentions “a latent homo-sex becomes so violent when provoked.”

28. No Use For a Name - Justified Black Eye The guy is a boozer who alternates between violent rage and remorse, the woman a lifelong victim who always comes close to leaving but never does. It’s a typical narrative, but with some affecting moments, like the song-closing line “Apologies until tonight and another justified black eye.”

29. Elvis Costello - Boy With a Problem “I even slapped your face and made you cry,” he sings remorsefully over Steve Nieve’s stately piano. His depiction of a relationship’s dregs (“Nights spent drinking to remember… Came home drunk / Talking in circles / The spirit is willing, but I don’t believe in miracles”) is sorrowful as well as judgmental.

30. Lou Reed - Caroline Says II Caroline Says II offers a sadly concise description of domestic violence: “Caroline says, as she gets up from the floor, ‘You can hit me all that you want to / but I don’t love you anymore.’”

Mutemath – Allies

Artist of the Week: Jose Gonzalez, an indie folk singer-songwriter and guitarist.

In 1976, the Gonzalez family, of academic psychologist father, mother, and older sister fled Argentina, after an ultra-conservative military junta seized power in March 1976, the beginning of the "Dirty War".

Jose was born two years later, 1978, in a suburb of Gothenburg, Sweden.

The first band he played in was Back Against the Wall, a Gothenburg hardcore punk band influenced by Black Flag, the Misfits, and the Dead Kennedys. He later played bass guitar in another hardcore band, Renascence, between 1993-1998. Between 1997 and 1998 Jose played guitar with a rock band, Only if You Call Me Jonathan.

In June 2003 Gonzalez released his debut solo release, a two-track 7" single. In October, later that year, he released his debut album, Veneer. The album was made while Gonzalez was studying for a PhD in Biochemistry at the University of Gothenburg, which he has not completed due to a lack of time since his musical career has taken off.

His trademark sound is solo acoustic guitar with soft melody. His work, although mostly original, does include acoustic covers of great hits such as Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division, Born in the U.S.A by Bruce Springsteen and Teardrop by Massive Attack.

10. Eat Right for your Blood Type: Basically, this diet encourages you to be healthier by eating a menu determined by your blood type. This diet seems pretty legit, but there is no evidence that following this diet is at all beneficial for good health and decreased risk of chronic illness.

9. the hCG DietLose 30 lbs in a month! All you have to do for those results is be injected with the hormone hCG, which is extracted from the urine of pregnant women. Oh, and in addition to that shot, you're only allowed to consume 500 calories -- and that's per day. You'll have stomach pains from near-starvation eating this way, and daily caloric intake this low qualifies as anorexia nervosa, which can cause damage to every organ system in your body. The problem, aside from starvation, is taht there is no evidence that injecting yourself with hCG is a viable long-term weight-loss solution -- and hCG is only approved as a way to treat infertility, not as a way to lose body fat.

8. Cotton BallsWould you eat cotton balls to help curb your hunger? Some models, it turns out, and since the cotton tastes, well, cottony, often things are flavored up with a quick dip in orange juice. This isn't a diet; rather, it is a dangerous way to trick your body into feeling full without actually eating any food. Cotton balls weren't meant to be in your digestive system, and can cause all sorts of problems when you eat them, beginning with aspiration pneumonia from fibers and liquid that could make their way into your lungs all the way to twisted intestines, abdominal pain and bowel obstruction and necrosis.

7. Cabbage Soup Diet the Cabbage soup diet is a menu plan that has you forgoing almost all foods except, of course, cabbage soup. There's no denying you'll lose weight -- dieters report losing as much as 10 pounds in only a week -- but there are problems with this plan. First, imagine eating cabbage soup for all your main meals for seven days; it's a tedious and uninspired menu. And second, it's not healthy weight loss. In the long run, eating nothing but cabbage soup may give you good results for the week you follow the menu, but these are not the foods of a balanced diet. This diet is low calorie, low fat, low protein, and low on essential nutrients, so the weight you do lose is really nothing more than fluids -- water retention -- rather than fat. So? That means as soon as you return to eating real foods again, you'll still be trying to find ways to lose that belly fat.

6. Vinegar Diet Vinegar, specifically apple cider vinegar, is considered among some to be a healthy remedy for disease; some cancers, obesity and 2 diabetes may be improved when apple cider vinegar is taken as a dietary supplement. Some studies suggest vinegar may have a beneficial effect on our glucose levels, and historically, white vinegar has been used as a way to feel satiated without overeating. But also, maybe not. Studies about the effect of vinegar as a dietary supplement are limited, at least in humans, but we do know there are risks: Vinegar is acidic weaken your bones, and interact with certain medications.

5. Fletcherizing Slow eaters eat fewer calories compared to people who eat quickly, and they also weigh less. Did you know it takes your body and brain a minimum of 20 minutes to realize that you're full? Quick eaters, on the other hand, take bigger bites of food and are more likey to swallow foods before properly chewing them. Between 1895 and 1919, Horace Fletcher -- "The Great Masticator" -- evangelized the importance of chewing your food; it became a weight loss method known as "Fletcherizing". And while yes, it's important to slow down, chew and enjoy the foods you eat, Fletcher's fad diet advocated something a bit more extreme than taking slower bites: He believed we should chew every bite of food without swallowing any of it until the food was liquefied.

4. The Sleeping Beauty Diet Getting a good night's sleep, and getting it often, is an important part of losing or maintaining weight. The less sleep you get each night, the more likely you are to be overweight; for example, if you only get five hours of sleep each night, you're 50% more likely to be obese than a person who routinely gets more sleep than you -- and the worse your sleep deprivation, the worse your weight problem may be. So knowing that, you may thing the sleeping beauty diet sounds like a viable weight-loss plan. This diet involves, as you might guess, a lot of sleep -- while under heavy sedation, which you might not have guessed. It turns out, though, that sleeping for several days straight won't make you thinner and neither will the potentially addicting pills.

3. The Baby Food Diet This diet has adults chowing down on pureed fruits, vegetables and meats instead of foods that require teeth to eat them. The baby food diet uses jars of baby food as meal replacements; the idea is to substitute a jar of pureed food for each meal and snack, and the plan recommends eating 14 jars, plus an optional adult-worthy dinner every day. The problem, aside from flavor, is that baby food is for babies, not adults. Adults have a different nutritional needs that can't be met with this quick-fix fad diet, and watch out -- baby food portions are very small, which can lead to overeating. And not all jarred baby food is low-calorie.

2. Lemonade Diet The "cleanse" -- as a way to detoxify and (or) cut some weight. The lemonade diet, also known as the master cleanse, is liquid weight loss plan that's supposed to wash the "toxins" and waste out of your body. This weight loss plan is severely restrictive, allowing for six (or more) servings of water mixed with lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper each day -- and if you feel like straying from that menu, you're allowed a salt-water flush in the morning and an herbal laxative tea in the evening. Yes, you will lose weight on this plan, but what you're really doing is losing water weight and your healthy lean muscle mass, not the fat you were hoping would get flushed out. Followers report side such as irritability, fatigue and nausea.