Me trying to read smut but the author doesn’t understand a lick of anatomy


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Me trying to read smut but the author doesn’t understand a lick of anatomy

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how it feels to read self insert/xreader fics of any media that follow the canon plot line
art fight attacks
character names and creators:
HART created by: HYENAKILL
Anger created by: Igotnothinthistime
the hideous sin of gluttony
go like and follow and reblog booger hes so cool and likes one piece and does cool art sometimes
the hero killer STAIN

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i can't really explain it but yn and reader are two completely different people
big ass sword to match stupid gay hat
cuties
whoever thinks kid would be an abusive partner is weird.
kid, out of all the pirate crews I've seen so far (besides foxy's, ironically) has the most women on his crew (dive, hip AND hop, house, emma and quincy) and is most certainly a feminist because he's a punk at heart. no way he would treat his girlfriend like a punching bag, absolutely no way.
out of the 24 pirartes that makes up kid's crew, 6 of them are women that he hand selected to join his crew.
luffy has nami and robin and law has ikkaku
people are taking him at face value because he is loud, brash, and, frankly, is alternative. kid knows what it is like to be at the bottom of soceity's ladder, kid named his ship after his first love, kid united the four rival gangs in his home because his first love got killed in a gang war.
i'm so sick and tired of seeing his character get butchered by sadomasochistic horn dogs.
fuck.
not only do i think that eustass is touch adverse and it will actually take a while to have sex with him, but because of the betrayals from apoo and hawkins he doesn't trust easily.
yes he is a horrible person. yes he is violent to civilians and is known for creating mass casulaties wherever he goes, but i think eustass would be a tsundere through and through, yes he has his moments of unregualted emotions often, but thinking that he would throw around his partner is just wrong.
to date someone kid would have to have the same level of trust as he does in killer, eustass would be instant attraction but be an extremely slow burner to the point it would be watching paint dry until wire, heat, or killer intervened and push him.
i agree with the headcanons that kid would know that he likes you, but he woudl be in active denial becuase to him love, romatnic love and not platonic love is seen as weak. platonic love is the one that he and killer have, the type of love he feels for his crew and his crew reciprocates. romanitc love, the kind he felt for victoria was ripped from him when she got killed. no doubt we would have seen a tsumdere kid if she were still alive.
kid wants to be the roughest toughest pirate on the sea so to him romance isn't something he's focusing on, not at ALL.
he's a yearner. and it fucking inferitates him.
so stop being fucking lazy with his character and give him the love you want to give him. the love he deserves
everyone can fuck off i love eustass kid.
eustass is the only memebr of the trio (him, law, and luffy) that will BURN down the world for you if anytihing were to happen. law and luffy would internaize it but kid, he would take out the rage of losing you on anything and everything. no doubt the crew would be feeling the need for vengeance after finding out something happend to their precious captain's girlfriend. kid would target and hunt down the person or crew that hurt/killed you. he is insanly loyal to the point he didn't think the two other members of his alliance would betray him. he is so insanly devoted he named his ship after his first love. he is so insanly human that it pisses me off that people say he is an abusive boyfriend.
kid may be dumb but he isn't an idiot.
❝𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐒 ; 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: monkey d luffy, roronoa zoro, vinsmoke sanji, usopp, eustass kid, sabo. part one can be found here.
notes ! hey 🧍🏻♀️ how y’all doing … uh i got bored at work and made this under 2 hours bc i lowkey missed doing fake texts. idc if this gets 0 notes, i literally just wanted to make some content for one piece again. legit rewriting this zoro draft i’ve had sitting in my wips for three years now. not sure if i’ll post that so just take this instead <3

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One Piece Men:
After the birth of their child. Part 2! characters: Law, Kid, Corazon, Doflamingo
cw; OP men x GN! reader (birth mentioned, but never gender), mindrotting fluff ahead
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Law
wanted to be the one to deliver the baby, but you wouldn't let him. You wanted husband Law to be there for the birth, not doctor Law.
Baby's name has Cora in it; I'm sorry, but you don't get a choice about that.
In theory, Law knows how to take care of a baby. In practice, he is riddled with anxiety. What if he fucks it up? What if the baby inherited white lead disease? The thought made him not want to have children at all, but things happen, and of course he's going to be there-
there's a fifty-fifty chance, though. So he tries his best to calm down about it. It's not predisposed. Not set in stone. There's a chance.
And he's a doctor who is willing to research it.
Everything is fine.
Either way, this baby WOULD be fine.
He didn't cry. Not until he held the baby for the first time... where he promptly left the room to sob.
"I did it, Cora-san."
Then he returned, as stoic as ever, pretending his face was not tearstained and that he wasn't sniffling.
Just a tad clumsy. Was too nervous to do anything. To hold baby, to change baby's diaper, to rock baby, to burp baby. But if baby ever showed any signs of being sick, he'd jump right into action.
nothing would harm baby. Ever.
TODDLER BONUS: expect a coloring page in the form of Law. Those tattoos are not going uncolored. And you bet your ass he'll wear it with pride.
Kid
Kid doesn't know how to be a dad. Of course, upon becoming a father, nobody does. But Kid especially. He's not gentle, he's not kind unless it's in a rough way, and his quietest whispers are still loud and audible. He's not dad material.
That being said, he's trying his best. And you think he's the best dad this world's ever seen.
He's nervous when your water breaks. He's loud and he's yelling. He's telling you, "don't just stand there!" and "do something!" before you yell at him right back because, who does he think he is, yelling at you while you're actively giving birth to his big ass baby?
And that baby IS big, by the way. Sue him. Sue everyone.
He realizes he can't be himself during this. He can't be loud, can't be violent. If you scream, there's not going to be anything for him to whack or throttle. He can't punch away contractions, and he definitely can't kill the baby for hurting you.
He tries his best, really. He gets a little light headed, and his 'quiet voice' is a little loud, but he's trying. And you appreciate it.
He's terrified. He keeps telling you not to die on him, that's an order, blah blah blah... get this man out of the goddamn room. At least he cares, I guess.
After baby is born, he almost passes out. He's red-faced, he's sweaty, and he looks like HE just gave birth, but he made it out. And he didn't yell or punch any of the doctors.
He desperately wants to hold baby, but he's scared and he doesn't know how. He has one regular sized arm, and a big ass mechanical arm that is literally half of his size. He realizes he's going to need a prosthetic that isn't just for violence.
He loves baby, but lets you do all of the holding. Sometimes, if he's laying down, he'll let baby lay on top of him. But that's as far as it will go. Until he can learn to overcome this fear of fatherhood, and until he can make this new arm that won't crush his precious, perfect offspring, he'd rather not hold baby.
Baby sits on a little mat beside him when he's tinkering with inventions on the floor. And he talks to baby. Has full conversations with baby. Baby is going to be well versed in the language of metal and curse words.
Baby has red hair and resting bitch face. Looks just like their father. Sorry.
NON-EUSTASS BONUS: Killer holds baby. Killer loves holding baby. Killer adores baby.
Corazon
He's a blubbering mess. From the moment he finds out he's going to be a father, to the moment he becomes one, he is basically always crying.
Well, not really. But you know what I mean.
He's so emotional once baby arrives. He's afraid to hold baby, at first, but once he does, he can't get enough of it. He's holding you while you're holding baby, he's holding baby, he's looking at baby, he's thinking about holding baby.
He wonders what Law would have looked like as a baby. He is excited to show Law the newest addition of their little family.
The clumsiness does not stop when the baby arrives. Though he may have quit his smoking habit in preparation, he did not quit his tripping and falling habit. His legs were simply too long for that.
He has fallen with baby too many times. Never once was baby harmed, and never once did baby even touch the floor; still, you banned Cora from walking with baby at all. He is only allowed to hold baby when sitting down, empty-handed.
You can only hope that baby does not become as clumsy as he. Only as loving.
Doflamingo
he's... something.
He's not super present, but he's not necessarily absent, either. He absolutely makes sure you're taken care of, having many maids at your bedside at all times, but he's rather distant from it all.
A few times, he'd come check in on you, bringing you a meal and a drink. And, of course, he'd spoil you and baby with gifts. But he just wasn't... there. Not emotional. He held baby maybe once before deciding it wasn't exactly his thing.
Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was just a douchebag. Maybe you didn't fix him after all.
One thing was for certain, though; no harm would ever come to that baby at the hands of his enemies. And neither would you.
BONUS: one time, he took baby out for a little while, just out of the goodness of his heart. They went to a meeting and then back home. He sat his iconic pink feather coat on the bed and sat baby on the coat, turned around to put something away, and when he turned back... baby was asleep on the coat.
You found both Doffy and your baby asleep on the coat later.
BONUS TWO: another time, Doffy decided that maybe he did want to hang out with baby a little bit. After, he left baby unattended while he took a shower, because he's obviously the world's best dad. You found baby, on the floor of the luxurious bathroom, wearing Doffy's sunglasses.
You realized that your baby was just as much of a diva as Doffy.
One Piece Men:
After the birth of their child. Part 1!
characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Ace
cw; OP men x GN! reader (birth mentioned, but never gender), mindrotting fluff ahead
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luffy
He's been impatient the whole time. Concerned, and never once telling you to hurry up, but impatient.
Now that his little bundle is here, though, he is *beaming*. Absolutely ecstatic.
you've barely had a chance to hold them yourself before he's taking them into his rubbery arms and lifting them up, with both you AND the doctor yelling at him to be careful. He's a smiling, laughing mess; the heir to the king of the pirates.
He and the baby are nearly inseparable. If you're not holding them, he is. Baby's crying in the middle of the night? He's by the cradle immediately. You need a shower? He's got the baby. You sigh once while holding the baby? It's his turn. Actually, it's his turn all the time. Did you know that skin to skin contact is good for babies? Because his vest is always open and his chest is always bare and he'll remind you of that fact all the time. Give him his damn baby.
The whole crew is worried for the safety of that baby. Luffy is way too protective, and would never drop them, but why would the crew EVER think that Luffy could be careful?
Baby has Luffy's appetite. Sorry.
What if Doffy finds baby Sanji. And what if Whitebeard does.
Sigh I HAD to zoom in on my fav details obv
oop sorry just lemme scooch past ya sorry about that haha

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brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man
some magma zosans (tiny kissy snoojs by @swirlymarimo)