#keepaneyeout

i love it when youre drinking citrus drinks and you cant feel your tongue and your entire face starts sweating its so cleansing

my doctor said im allergic to citrus

this has the aura of being funny but i genuinely have no idea what the fuck any of them are saying

bööls of wa’ah

this is what Scottish Twitter is supposed to sound like

Why is it referred to as coming out of the closet? 

It could be coming out of anything. What wasted potential.

Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just guys

mood: the mexican dude who told judge judy “this is your show but this is my episode”

me at god

Can I be her friend

i dont think american filmmakers realise how huge london is, because sure you have the london eye and houses of parliament but when you say ‘london has fallen’ what??? so the nandos in catford is in flames? the tesco in peckham has descended into chaos? wtf??

We have states bigger than your entire country

i went to this guys house this weekend and slept on his couch n woke up to this cat standing on my tummy and i said “aww i didnt know you had a cat” and he said “yeah her names bev” then he paused and said “short for beverage”

I went to see Love, Simon today and at the end when I was leaving the theatre there was a big group of LGBTQ kids posing for a photo with the movie poster, and right next to them was a group of Black girls doing the same with Black Panther, and everyone was grinning so big and just looked absolutely invigorated. I don’t think I’m ever going to forget that scene. For so long I have not let myself get my hopes up that I will see representations of myself and my friends and communities on screen. But I’m letting myself hope now, because it’s happening. It’s really happening.

some people believe that being bi is 50% straight and 50% gay, but in fact it’s 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% reason to remember the name

why did i try weed omg ima die i feel like a a dvd player

this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i’m losing it