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45 Endings
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@45endings-blog
Prevent nuclear war. Ban Twitter.
45 Endings

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4: Artificially Unintelligent
By 45 Endings
âYouâre missing it AMERICA!â tweeted the realDonaldTrump.
 âItâs glorious. The BIGGEST. The BEST.â
 The tweets burst forth into the remaining nodes of the once great global Internet.
 Hurtling headlong through frayed fiber toward the dark, shattered mobile screens of nobody in particular.
 âThey were very DISHONEST. So FOOLISH. So TOXIC. Shame!â
 Implacable between the air bursts, the lonely posts dumped unabated to a now less than social network.
 âI showed them. Nobody messes with the realDonaldTrump. #MAGAâ
 Nobody favorited. No trolls retorted. No cheerleaders exalted. Nobody cared. Not even his majesty the real, real Donald Trump himself.
 They were as terminal as the velocity of the next round of incoming warheads.
 But thatâs just what happens when you pay the best of the nationâs worst to code a sentient Twitter bot.
 All to do the daily lifting, while you Mar a Lago the day away.
 Your golf game gets shot to hell.
 And so does the world.
 Whups.
 END.
3: Eclipsed
By 45 Endings
The eclipse wasnât actually an eclipse.
END.
2: Deadlines, Deadlines
By 45 Endings
Leaning forward on the papery tweed of the Trump⢠Brand C-suite Couch, Bannonâs meaty fingers dug into the Trump⢠Brand Very Good Orangeâs wrinkled, sickly rind.
Taking his own sweet, sweet time, he peeled the fruit with slow, deliberate abandon. His nails tearing into the off-shaped orbâs slightly too thick skin. Ripping it into long strips before dropping them onto the soiled golden fields of the extra-deep-pile Trump⢠Executive Carpeting, a Sears In-Store Exclusive.
 The man across from Bannon sat silently. His eyes tracking the pool of too sweet juice running, dripping, twisting its way down Bannonâs meaty double chin. The syrupy fluid finding momentary purchase in the maze of his patchy stubble. Catching. Catching. Then dripping, flowing again.
 The manâs eye flitted to Bannonâs. Bannon, seeing his opening, summoned a moment of faux sincerity. His words a crude attempt at his bossâs trademarked candor.
 âItâs a very good deal, you know. The best.â
 The Ambassador didnât respond. Defiant.
 Bannon popped the somewhat fruity flesh into his dark maw, mashing it into a pulp between his coffee stained incisors. As he ground the tangy morass into a not-so-fine puree, he casually reiterated his very good position; splattering the Trump⢠Brand Genuine Faux Walnut Coffee Table with tiny island chains of fruit bobbing in seas of saliva syrup.
 âYour country pays to build the wall.â
 âWe give you access to US markets. Weâre talking exclusive supplier status for Trump⢠brand fruits and fruit-like vegetables. Our people really eat them up.â Bannonâs fleshy lips parted, grinning at his witty comedic chops.
 âYour farmers get to continue existing. Your third-rate country doesnât turn to dust. I canât see a downside, personally.â Bannon leaned back and savored the moment, particularly satisfied with his most excellent proposition.
 âYou canât do this. This is not how international relations work.â
 Bannon smirked. His face twisting like a wrung out wet towel.
 âYour government has two hours.â
 Bannon stood up. Tossed the remains of the âorangeâ on the ground. And summarily strolled out of the Oval Office.
 At the door, he paused and casually turned. His hand leaving a pudgy, sticky stain on the Trump⢠Brand Premium âWhite House Whiteâ Semi-Gloss Interior Paint, available only at Home Depot.
 âI hope theyâll find a way.â
 The Mexican Ambassador blanched to his core.
 And then the black Trump⢠Brand Executive Kidnap Bag went back over his head.
 (The roughhewn burlap was most luxurious.)
END.
1: The Watchers
By 45 Endings
They thought it was a test. Just a test.
When Kim Jong Un moved the nuclear launchers into position on the craggy and dark northeastern Korean coast, they watched. And waited. And scoffed. And Tweeted. When he assembled the rockets. And armed them. Still they watched.
"It's just a test," The generals and politicians and pundits pontificated. âItâs just a test,â the President twittered. âIt's just a test," the know-nothing news anchors parroted. And we waited. And we watched.
On the day of the launch, the worldâs spy satellites watched the North Korean conscripts fuel the rockets. They watched them arm the rockets. And they watched them flee the rockets, sheltering in crude bunkers while their fearless leader broadcast himself pushing the button to launch the rockets for us all to watch.
The cameras didn't capture the destruction of Tokyo. Or Seoul. Radioactive shockwaves and electro-magnetic pulses ensured that we couldn't watch as nuclear devastation rent asunder the lives and machinations and dreams of millions. The first to perish because the world watched.
At T+12, the Americans responded to the provocation in kind. Alerted by the urgent communiquĂŠs from the White House that the lonely silos had been watching for for 60 years or moreâand the even more urgent Tweets from the Oval Officeâthe missiles launched. Burning forth from hidden submarines and North Dakotan beet fields watched by no one but their hidden masters.
Even before the American retaliatory ICBM's finished their arcs and crashed headlong into Pyongyang, the Russians watched. Despite phone calls and assurances and pronouncements and agreements that the Russians were bystanders, content merely to watch, a computer sitting unwatched since 1967 in the basement of a forgotten bunker watched. Seeing multiple launches, and multiple warnings, it ran multiple calculations. And it opted not to watch.Â
At T+19, slumbering russian silos yawned open, burping a barrage of destiny into the stratosphere, curving in elegant arcs past the watching satellites and toward their unwitting targets haplessly watching the world slip from their fingers.
At T+20, American Air Force operators watched the boosters bloom across the former Soviet Union like Devil's flowers on a spring day, coming to exact a toll no one had foretold. Consulting protocols, they watched as their commanders commanded return fire.
At T+28, American anti-missile batteries watched the skies, scanning for inevitability as it returned to Earth from Heaven. Their interceptors streaking forth as the MIRV's emerged from their atmospheric burn. Some successful, most not, the Russian entry vehicles got what they were watching for.Â
At T+33, America erupted in a sea of fire. A hellacious sight that Russian eyes couldn't watch from the fallout bunkers and the subway shelters and the basements from which they would never emerge.Â
At T+40, a Lieutenant, Junior Grade of the People's Liberation Army in Dongfeng, watching a news report beamed by watching satellite, consulted a manual and turned a key and pressed a button that initiated a barrage of unrequited nuclear-tipped agony hurtling toward the shell-shocked survivors huddled and praying on American shores.Â
And at T+60, only God watched as China accidentally won the Third World War.
END.

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North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen...
Donald Trump, 45th President of the United States of America