.

Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

You don't remember my old url....? O-oh.. no its fine. I said its fine! Don't... don't touch me.

*trips while I'm running away and you get a panty shot*

Huh

I literally hated this scene i used to feel so bad . like. they died

Me? cheat? i reread our favorite messages when i miss you

Or when we haven’t talked in awhile. Just so I can feel those same feelings before

"of course i remembered" is a love language

I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

Even if I do not receive money or good news, I did smile at seeing this smiling Buddha.

It worked the first time maybe it will work the second time,too 💯💲💵💸💰💯

I literally do not care what the Bible says about any political issue. I am not Christian. Christian scripture should have zero effect on my life or my personal freedoms. 

The fact that I did not mention abortion anywhere in this post, yet the replies and reblogs are filled with Christians trying to “well actually” me and/or resorting to anti-choice insults is… telling, to say the least.

Oh, excuse me... I have a missed call from my beautiful wife, Spam Risk.

lady at the coffee shop looking at me like it’s my fault y’all posting porn in the middle of the day

It’s the burning rage inside me that gives me that luminous glow (:

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m