Gay Bears & ABDL

I’ve been an infantilist all my life, and I’ve been through those dumb annoying purge cycles that most of you AB/DL’s know about.

I reached a point where it weirded me out that i had this need to feel little, or to wear diapers. I reached the point where it mattered to much what others might think of me if they knew what I was doing. And I reached that point where I beat myself up about beeing so different than all the other people.. Inevitably i reached the point where i swore to give it all up, and threw everything away that made me feel safe along with my feelings, just so that I could be like everyone else.. And finally I reached the point where I felt way worse than I did before, and felt that I couldn’t keep lying to myself anymore.

Self acceptance is not easily achieved, and most AB/DL’s go through a somewhat similar cycle one or more times in their life, before they reach the final point of self acceptance. Personally having gone through that cycle several times, i still get those feelings from time to time, but at least for now, i feel that i can stay true to myself, and accept that i have these cravings that are a part of me. Some people have told me to grow up, and that what I am and do is disgusting. I don’t think it’s for anyone to judge something that they don’t understand. They don’t know how it makes us feel or how terrible we’re off without it. Without satisfying these needs, it would just leave a void that would need to be filled with other stuff.. I know I’ve said it before, but wearing diapers or being little is a very small price to pay to feel so good, secure and comfy. And there are way worse thinngs that you could have the need for.. personally i think a littleside is booth beautiful and super cute!, but i do get why some people might find it weird, some people just don’t get it, and that is fair enough. But i also think If they knew how great it makes us feel they wouldn’t dream of judging us.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how short life is, and that It’s very likely that we only get one chance to find the happiness that we want, and to reach the goals that we set. I think believing in yourself, and finding self acceptance is one of the most important goals to reach for, and it’ll surely make you more happy in the end. It’s hard feeling so different, and accept things that make you stand out of the croud, but that goes for a lot of things, like having a different sexuality or for example beeing an AB/DL.

I think we can go through life being our own worst enemy, or our own best friend. I believe chosing to work with yourself and not against yourself is an important factor to live a happy life. Life is not always easy, and surely not when you are an AB/DL, but staying true to yourself and really realise that you have your own life to live instead of pleasing everyone else will get you a long way towards self acceptance.

We’re all unique in our own way and we like different things, but that is what makes us the ones we are. And I think if we can stay true to that, that’s something we should be proud of.

Advent door No 9. “La Petite Mort” by Sly Hands A break from the usual hot fetish pin up, this piece was produced for an Exhibition by Paul Darling of Two Little Birds entitled Sin In My Heart, looking at the themes of Sex, Death, Sin and Religion.

As a super liberal gay man of faith, yet opposed to indoctrinated religion, I have always been fascinated in iconography through the ages and the role it has as a man made tool, forged from man made opinions and agendas to inspire or to control, to give hope or to instil fear. I constantly find the idea of classical paintings of the crucifixion of Christ baffling; a white, handsome Jesus looking peaceful and squeaky clean (aside from modest nail and spear marks) while the three Mary’s caress him is a stark contrast from what would have been a bloody, horrific mess, the middle eastern Jesus unrecognisable corpse being fled by his followers in fear of their own lives.

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

“How do you make these?”

It’s a question I’ve been getting a lot since I started posting photos of the custom diapers I’ve been working on. While the various printed diapers for the AB market are great, a lot of us would love diapers that feature our favorite characters - and if you’re willing to put in a little effort it’s pretty easy. The trick is plastic party table covers - they’re super thin, sturdy and if you look around you can find most popular characters and themes on them (mommies and daddies, this is a great way to match your little’s diapy with their actual birthday/holiday party supplies) Here is a step-by-step guide that should let everyone make their own - hopefully you were paying attention during arts and crafts!

Full disclosure: I was initially inspired by this Tumblr post, but did a variation on the idea that is a little easier and yields more diapers from each table cover: http://abcubs.tumblr.com/post/97335227154/photo-1-so-people-have-asked-for-a-how-to-video

I’m going to lay this out in 3 parts, since Tumblr limits how many photos can be in one post. It’s a lot of reading, but hopefully all the details should be helpful - remember, anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Step 1 - Gathering Supplies

This might look like a lot, but you probably have half of this stuff around the house already or can find a cheap solution. Only 4 of these things need to be continuously bought and the eventual cost is less than a dollar extra from a plain diaper unless you’re using an expensive cover.

You will need: * Plastic party table covers ($3-10) - you can find these in the party section on many stores, if you have a Party City in your town you’re in luck (the internet can fill in the blanks, of course, but it can get expensive too.) How many strips you get from one cover depends of the design, I’ve gotten as many as 14 and as few as 6.

* Diapers (Cost Varies) - preferably all-white and without a preexisting landing strip. I’ve used Dry 24/7s every time so far and it’s what I’d recommend.

* A hobby knife and replacement blades ($4-15) - X-Acto knife, etc. You might be able to use a box cutter or razor in a pinch. Make sure you replace the blade often, a dull blade will tear the plastic.

* A solid cutting surface ($0-30) - I recommend getting an actual cutting board at an art supply store (or amazon) to help with layout, but a large kitchen cutting board or clean piece of cardboard work also. (This should go without saying, but don’t just cut on the floor, you’ll ruin both the table cover and your floor.)

* Plastic tarps ($5-10 a pack) - you can find them in the paint section of most hardware stores. Spray adhesive gets everywhere, especially the floor. If you’re able to work outdoors you may not need them, if you plan to work inside DO NOT SKIP THEM.

* Spray adhesive ($6-8) - you can find this at most hardware stores (I’ve seen it at Target also.) I recommend 3M’s 45 spray adhesive, it holds well but allows for some fast readjustments. Always use in a well ventilated area, don’t lock yourself in the bathroom and try to do this when your vanilla roommate is home - if somehow you can work outside it’s best.

* A ruler ($1-8) - should be the length you want the front design to be, 16" should work for most. Make sure it has high enough sides to draw the blade along easily.

* A board ($0-15) - roughly the size of a spread-out diaper, you’ll clip the diaper to this to keep it from moving while you lay the strip down. I use a TV tray, it works great and keeps everything at standing level (more on that later.) A finished or sanded board is preferable to raw wood.

* Spring clips ($5) - these will hold everything onto the board, make sure they have soft covers on the tips to protect the diaper plastic. If the board you’re using is thin enough, clothes pins work too.

*Painter’s Tape ($5) - this will help keep the table cover in place while you cut out the designs. You can also use it to keep the plastic tarp from moving. In a pinch this can be skipped.

*Painter’s Mask ($5) - Spray Adhesive is airborne, best to not inhale a bunch of it.

* A large cardboard box ($0) - roughly 20x15" but any size that’s larger than the design should work. Save the box from your next shipment of diapers.

IMPORTANT: Make sure the inside of the box is fairly clean, any dust or dirt from the box might cling to the spray adhesive and stick to the design. If in doubt, wipe down with a lightly damp towel and let dry.

* Paper towel roll ($1)

* Adhesive remover ($5) - Goo-Gone, etc. Mostly for getting glue off your hands.

*“Junk” clothes & shoes - don’t wear anything you care about while using spray adhesive just in case.

I’m honestly appalled right now. All these people out there calling themselves a Daddy and they are treating their precious Little’s like they come second. No, wrong. Little’s always come first! 

Sex, for instance. I don’t even have to receive anything and I will always make sure my Little one gets to cummies as much as they can handle and maybe then some. I feel like that’s how it’s supposed to be. We are taking care of you, and making you happy and healthy is number one priority. No if’s, and’s, or but’s! (Of course there will be some butt’s though, if you’re doing it right!)

Being there for them emotionally and physically (if possible, ldr’s are the exception). If they are sad, give them the proper attention! Set down your video games, put down the food even, wrap yourself around them with a stuffie in one hand and a paci in the other and just be there for them. If they are needy, play with them! It’s fun for both of you. Don’t be a stick in the mud. Daddy’s need play time too, If you can’t play with your Little, you don’t deserve them. Little’s need that play time outlet, don’t ever forget that.

You don’t set rules to make your life easier. You set rules to make their life easier. They need direction, not someone to control them. There is a difference. 

Their life may revolve around you but your world needs to revolve around them. A Daddy should be nurturing, devoted, reliable, sweet, understanding, patient, and should know what the Little wants sometimes even before they know they want it. If you are not these things then you are not a Daddy.

Give them massages for a longer time than they would give you, give them bath time, tv time, play time, coloring time, toy time, nap time etc. Notice how those all have “time”? That’s because they are number one. They need all your time in order to have their time. Their time is very important to keep them happy. If you can’t devote this much time, then you are not a Daddy.

These are just a small portion of how in depth a Daddy/Little relationship can go. If you’re in a relationship where someone is claiming to be a Daddy and they don’t do these simple things then they are not a Daddy.