It's a beautiful, starry night.

Everyone has a shirt that we like wearing too much

🙋🙍💕🌸 his shirt 😍

Shut the fuck up

ohm YGOD

jesus fucking christ who let jerry seinfeld write a kids movie

I actually laughed so hard I cried at “when I was gay I thought I was in the third grade”

@leatardian milk girl

Mariah kill this clown

I don’t know what this means.  I’ve never filled out a form that said that.

^^^^ Never answer those questions honestly if you actually want the job.

My managers have personally told people that anyone who puts anything like that outside of just “male or female” gets their application tossed immediately. Btw if an interviewer asks if you have reliable transportation, don’t say anything but “yes I do” that’s it!!!!! Don’t say another word don’t say you take the bus or walk or bike or get rides or uber don’t say anything!!!!! Just say yes and that is it they cannot require any sort of proof of transportation.

Shit. I didn’t know that about transportation but I'mma start doing it now.

Danny Devito and Jeff Goldblum both give off chaotic energies, but in opposite directions. One is the yin to the other’s yang. However, both are everyone’s uncle

Danny is ur dad’s brother and Jeff is ur mom’s

stop waiting on men to validate you. you’re pretty. you’re smart. you’re interesting. you’re worth time & effort. you deserve to be loved. you need to know these things and truly believe them. don’t wait on some man to come along and tell you.

Why does your Peggy from memory look more like Hank Hill than your actual Hank Hill from memory I’m shook

I can’t stop thinking of this and how it describes white people’s attitude towards Mexican food perfectly.