say i never mattered

Hey,

So I know i haven’t actively used this blog for quite a while, but I do know I still have quite a few followers so I’m hoping a few of you will see this.

I just wanted to update you all on quite a serious thing happening in my life right now. 

I’ve recently been diagnosed with this thing called Cushings Disease, which is basically a benign tumour on my pituitary gland that causes my stress hormone to go crazy. So if you think you don't handle stress well, I literally have a disease that causes me to stress hahaha.

Basically the tumour is causing the gland to produce too much of the cortisol hormone and therefore my mind and body are being massively affected. 

Symptoms and side affects of this disease include: - Insane stretch marks literally everywhere - Headaches and exhaustion - Increased thirst and needing to pee ALL THE TIME - Bone and muscle soreness and weakness - Thinning skin that bruises easy and slowly heals - Excessive hair growth in weird places  - Hair loss/thinning, acne - Fatty deposits in the face, back and stomach - Buffalo hump

just to name a few. 

Cushings is a very rare disease and is often extremely hard to diagnose. I just happen to show basically all of the symptoms. 

I’m going to have brain surgery in mid February, tbh I’m scared as fuck, but life sucks at the moment and I really just want this to be dealt with as soon as possible, because it honestly makes me hate myself.