Square up mate, 1v1 me. Lets go.

faith in humanity partially restored

"fruit has sugar" warning post reminds me of my coworker who told me to make sure I don't get "addicted to fruit". yeah i'm also addicted to a nice walk on the beach

bad case of cum lung

got it from years of working in the dick mines 😔 but how else can we support our kin

im literally still here.

now who succumbed to cum lung bitch

this might sound stupid but I can’t help but believe that the new wave of “birth control is actually horrible for your body, you need to get off it immediately” misinformation from influencers and the ‘natural cycle tracking’ apps suddenly being advertised is a sneaky underhanded way of causing more unplanned pregnancies that people now cannot abort. now is possibly the worst time ever to turn towards ‘natural family planning’

Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate

So this was actually the sound of my car getting stolen

The ever-splendid peacock

RIP Jonathan Joss 

playing poker with my friend and he lays down a straight flush but it has two kings so i tell him that’s wrong but it’s pride month and the gay flush is allowed during this month

they're on a video conference

as a severely mentally ill 14 year old, I remember thinking “the medical system would treat me better if I was physically ill and not mentally ill” and then I coincidentally developed multiple chronic illnesses and found out that actually they dgaf even when you’re essentially bedridden

told my sister I like chaol...she is no longer speaking to me...

anyone else wish they would get roped into a freaky friday body swap situation just for the hope that the other person will go "oh jesus fuck how do you live like this" and instantly validate your feelings of being Strange and Built Wrong.