“Enough” she said, staring at me with those blue mournful eyes. “My dear, self depreciation is not humor. It is not something to be glossed over. It is self harm.”
I gulped. This was the moment. I had been waiting for this. No one could put up with me long. I could only delay the inevitable. I quivered, awaiting the killing blow, to be cast adrift once more, certain that not even the affini could love me.
“Enough, my dear. I am the only thing allowed to hurt you, and only when you beg for it. You are not me, and I did not hear begging.”
“S-sorry!” I stuttered out, tears welling up in my eyes. I was going to be the first Terran to fail a wardship by being found unworthy of even domestication. I was going to be filled with class O and forgotten about. I would have deserved it.
“I did not ask for an apology, dear. No, we’ve had enough of those for now.” Lilac tinted her too hard blue eyes, the halo of them bearing their pressure on to me. I began to fall. Her vines coiled around me, cradled me, lifted means placed me in front of.. a mirror?
It was still clouded as the day she had caught me staring, on the verge of tears. It was clouded as the day she started me on class Gs. I turned my head back to her, confused. Rather, I try to. Her vines lock my head in place, facing the mirror. My dread grows. Is she showing me how despicable I look? I am already all too aware. She growls, wings fluttering in disapproval. I cringe.
“My dear, I love you more than you know, but this is for your own good.” She dragged a needle across my thigh, scratching it painfully. I tried to look, to see, to escape my deserved fate. It burned as blood beaded up to surface, coming at her bidding. I tried to school my reaction, but a small gasp escaped my lips. She had gotten this graft. She had know she would need to -
I moaned as her injector plunged into me, releasing her traitorous payload. “We will of course deconstruct this further in therapy, but for now, open your eyes, my beautiful iris~”
the mirror was slowly becoming more reflective again. I tried to flee, to escape, but she held me in place. “Look.”
My heart picked up, delivering the scent of citrus to my sinuses as my heart pumped her deadly payload ever outwards. I looked.
The girl facing me was beautiful. She reminded me of my mother, but with eyes far less sunken. She was making herself small as she could within those vines, but she had life that had never quite entered my mothers eyes, as she pissed away what little she had to get beer and methamphetamine into father’s system. Her hair was silky and cared for in the way his had never quite been.
She’d gained weight since I last saw her, since I last saw him. Her skeleton finally fading under soft and supple flesh after She had made the purging finally stop. She was tired, but she was beautiful.
I lifted my hand to hers, and we pressed them together across the glass, taking ourselves in in a thousand small unsaid ways. Her approval shot through us both as we stared at one another, shivering in delight. She had lived through so much, but that was over now. I asked her forgiveness. She asked for mine. And, thanks to mistress, we granted it.
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