-Simon Iron Lung fictive(#🌲)

they are very intelligent in a way i find very attractive. i like seeing them talk about stuff related to their job even if i don't fully understand it. they're also just very sweet, i wish i could figure out ways to be closer to them that aren't so. i guess heavy handed.

they randomly tell me about stuff going on in their day sometimes. i wish i could figure out how to tell them that i like when they do that without it sounding weird. i always get so excited seeing messages from them, to the point it's a little embarrassing.

i fear that they know and are just trying to spare my feelings by not bringing it up. they mean a lot to me as a friend and i would rather not make things weird between us if i can help it but idk how successful at that i'm being.

i like hearing them laugh. i think about them for too long and i get this aching feeling in my chest that just won't go away. i wish i could hold their hand. i wish i could stop feeling like i need to be shot any time i feel like that.

You gets it. We's convicted criminals, yeah, but that's also not all we are? You care so much, as do I. But people forget that we are still people, who have many sides to them, people who have made mistakes and bad decisions and fell in with the wrong groups. (Not sayin we ain't to blame. Dunno about you, but I for one am very much to blame. I killed them and I would do it again. Moving on.)

But that doesn't mean it's fun for youse to remember! I don't remember my trial, for example, and I don't want to. I was lucky to get to have a life outside of prison and outside of my childhood, but it took a lotta patience and effort to get there and quite frankly I don't wanna remember that either! But that's all the fandom focuses on: the long, slow, very painful process that felt like it went backwards a lot more than it went forwards towards feeling safe enough outside of a prison cell to be able to take up my hobbies again and enjoy time alone (and it helped that the house had a wall and a gate all around the perimeter, but it also helped that I had the keys to that gate).

point is, fandom sucks sometimes, bringin up bad memories, but I'm glad youse gets it :)

-Yancy (ahwm fictive) #🟦⏳

we get it, i'm a terrible person and i grew up in a really fucked up society. i know that. i'm not even mad that they're pointing out i'm a terrible person who grew up in a really fucked up society, we all know it's true. what i am mad about is the fact that i just have to sit here and watch these fuckers be racist about it and just not fucking reflect on that at all because all they can focus on is my tits or how fun it'd be to make me suffer or whatever.

i should be allowed to start throwing bricks.

- the convict (iron lung) 🩸🌊 who's been real sick and tired of this shit, i won't lie to you chief.

handshake. fucking sucks man.

simon ironlung fictive

#🩶🤖💥