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Thinking about Sylus who loves a particular kind of gentle skinship: pressing his nose on your skin.
Waiting in line for your sudden milk tea craving and heâs behind you nosing into your hair (he claims it makes the waiting better)
Youâre preparing some food on the counter and heâs there behind you pressing his nose on your shoulders as he watches your hands move
You just wanna feed him some fries but heâs grabbing your wrist to press his nose there then playfully nip the side of your thumb instead of the fries
When heâs in a bad mood, just holding you and pressing his nose on your chest and heâs instantly cooled down
You wear an off-shoulder top and you bet heâs gonna be perching his nose there as if heâs Mephisto
Or nuzzling into the crook of your neck when he wants a cuddle
Or catching you right after a shower and heâs running his nose down your arm and giving little pecks
Maybe itâs the feel of your skin, maybe itâs your scent he wants to inhale all the time
Maybe itâs his dragonâs way of showing affection
Youâre lying down on one side relaxing and heâd playfully rub his nose on your waist to tickle you and hear you laugh
And when your scent changes he knows youâre ovulating, itâs sweeter he says, with that hungry look in his eyes, because his very favorite place to bury his nose in isâ
Wait am i ovulating? (ignores my empty period tracking app, opens Lads instead to consult his notes)
Sometimes, when you feel like routine is starting to wear you out, and a mental breakdown is hanging like a heavy cloud somewhere over your head, you finally decide to relax a little. Some fun couldn't hurt you, right?
And for once you happily agree to your bestie's offer to drop by some shady club. (It's definitely not because you think she's going to explode if she postpones a "casual" meeting with a certain silver-haired situationship for another week. Yep. Who happens to be the owner of the club. Which for some reason she can't visit alone).
And so, because you are a kind soul, and a very impatient one, not to mention, you grab her the moment she ends her shift (poor girl works even on weekends, so naturally, you needed to spice up her dating life a little), and exactly two hours later you set out on your way to get the best out the Sunday night left.
But, as expected, your solitude doesn't last long, as the moment she brags how she managed to book you the last two seats for tomorrow's lecture on art history (the one you never expected to get to) (the one you were ready to die for) a familiar figure appears at your VIP table, not so apologetically whisking her away, sliding your reward across the table in return with a knowing nod.
The gleam of his black card matches the one in your eyes, and so you decide that today is the day you try something new.
And then, as expected, you enter your favorite part of the evening with music and some sweet cocktails as your only companions.
Or... not?
Somethere across the room, near the bar, you catch someone's gaze.
And suddenly you can't look back.
And the next morning, as your friend tries to bring you back to your senses, you learn that you, in fact, never did. Didn't stop at just looking, too. She tells you she had to physically remove you from some guy when she finally managed to find you two around midnight, and no matter how many obscene details she adds describing you being glued to his neck, it stirs no memories whatsoever.
Straight up no thought. Mind blank.
And she must be lying for sure, because you never drink that much, no matter how tempting the offer to max out the given card seems to you. And you never even come up to random guys, so for you to kiss him? You needed to be wasted. And, again, you never drink this much, so....
But there's no time to argue as you frantically get ready, and absolutely no chance to ask more later, when you manage to squeeze into the bus to the uni. And only as you try to slip into the lecture hall, seeing your visible confusion, she gently squeezes your hand and whispers, "Don't worry, I can probably just ask Sylus to look through the cameras. We'll find your Romeo in no timeâ"
"If you are late, ladies, try to keep quiet at least."
Wait.
You know that voice.
You freeze somethere near the second row, and turn.
There, under the light of the projector, a familiar gaze slides down your figure, slowly taking you in. Your breath hitches as he smirks and slightly fixes the collar of his black turtleneck, and you swear something dark flashes on his pale skin.
Oh, well. If anyone should be telling you about art, it might as well be him. The soft curl of his hair, the gentle slide of his waist, the slight curve of his lips: everything about him almost hypnotizes you, calls to you like a siren song.
And you're ready to swallow your pride and quietly hide in the back row, apologizing profusely, but your eyes flicker up involuntary.
Your heart drops.
As if to make it worse, your friend chooses exactly that moment to whisper to you quietly, "Omg... It's him."
And the worst thing? He hears it. Of course he hears it.
The light softly reflect in his rimless glasses, as he smirks slowly, "There are some sits left at the front row. Why are you going so far away?"
You must be still under a spell, truly, one that was casted on you yesterday night, as you obediently find two sits at the front row, a little bit to the left (simultaneously giving you a nice view of his side profile). Unbearable silence stretches while the room is frozen in anticipation, and you nervously search your bag for any piece of paper and a pencil.
The later suddenly slips out of your trembling grip, but before you manage to embarrass yourself even more, a hand catches it. You forget how to breathe as the same guy quickly twirls the pencil between his slender fingers before placing it gently right at the center of your sheet.
"Well, once again," he catches your gaze, "for the newcomers. My name is Rafayel Qi, and I will be the speaker for today's lecture. Feel free to ask any questions."
He turns away, returning to his place at the pulpit, but before you can breathe out, he turns slightly, pure amusement in his eyes shining dangerously.
"Latecomers are kindly requested to come over after the lecture."
â đ a.n. something short & sweet I was preparing for Rafayel's birthday, but forgot :(((
Along the blackwater coast of Romirro, people whisper about the Lemuriansâthe beautiful strangers said to emerge from the sea wearing human shapes. Legends say they come ashore seeking humans, whether as meal or more, no one knows for certain. What is certain, however, is that they always find the exhausted, the indebted, or the heartbroken first. According to folklore, the Lemurians never drag anyone beneath the waves by force. Instead, they court their chosen for months or years, until the sea begins to feel more inviting than the land ever was.
You think you know what is happening, then, when the most handsome man you've ever seen washes ashore after a storm.
This is your family's hardest year yet, and somehow, despite the unlikeliness of the tide, he's deposited along the shallow pools where you and your sister gather shellfish. Water pools too enticingly in the hollow of his throat, beads along his long lashes, glittering against his pale skin. You do not trust the look of him. But your sister is already halfway in love with him, and cannot bear to leave him behind.
So you take him home, hoping that you are wrong.
You nurse him back from the state the sea left him in, careful not to let your sister go too near. Her fantastical, romantic waxings in the warmth of your hut have you almost believing you were too quick to draw conclusions about him. She is a year younger than you, in ways that feel more like a thousand years sometimes, but the naivetĂŠ and idealism of her world view make you want to believe the world can like be that too. You hope she is right, and he is just a beautiful man.
But then he wakes, and you are all too certain he isn't.
His eyes fix too readily on you when he opens them, his attention too immediate and precise. He is too interested in you when he recovers enough to speakâand repeats your name in a way that makes a shiver slink down your spine.
He tells you his name is Rafayel, and he's been shipwrecked. When pressed, however, he cannot name his home port, the name of his ship, or any of his crewmates. The memory of what they were carrying is conveniently lost to the tides. He is too empty of anything except the sea, you think, and you watch him as closely as he watches you.
Your sister is entranced and enthralled with him. You should feel relief that his attention does not linger on her the same way hers lingers on him. But you cannot, with Rafayel inside your home, asking after you instead, your habits, your likes and dislikes. He's come ashore for something, you know, and you do not intend for him to find it in your home.
You watch him carefully, and when he is well enough, you cajole him outside with a request for help gathering shellfish. You lead him back down to the tidepools, a large bucket clutched in hand. You are apprehensive that he will catch on to your plan so you move slowly, try to turn back to him often, tipping your face up to his. You find yourself doing it almost too willingly, reluctant to tear your eyes away from him.
You turn your face up to his again as you make it to the tidepools, and Rafayel steps closer this time. His mouth lingers over yours, his body so close, the promise of something slipping between you. His eyes glint blue like the sea, and you almost forget yourself for a minute as his mouth lowers to yours.
It's half and accident when you overturn your bucket of collected rainwater between you.
But Rafayel's face changes immediately as he takes a shocked step back, and it's then that you know for sure.
Harbor folklore says Lemurians cannot pursue someone across running fresh water. And Rafayel stumbles back, long eyelashes fluttering as he stares at you in stunned disbelief. The tide laps angrily at his heels, suddenly growing discontent, roiling like a pot over the fire.
He says your name, sweet and entreating.
But you turn and leave before your small, freshwater stream can run its course into the sea. You will hang braided eelgrass across your door tonight, and burn peat in the hearth, so that he cannot get in again. You tell him as much as you clamber back up the shoreline to safety, tell him he is wasting his time on you.
But what you do not know is that once a Lemurian falls truly fond of someone, they become dangerously patient. He will wait, like the tide that keeps arriving, until the shore gives way grain by grain, and little by little slides into the waiting sea.
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some headcanons for sylus's dragonlike tendencies i was thinking about (i might come back and edit this with more so i don't spam reblogs of it) đ
the first time he puts a piece of extravagant jewlery on you, one of two things happens (or maybe both things):
1. he gets a raging hard on
2. he gets the urge to be incredibly clingy. whether he acts on this urge depends on where you are and how close your relationship is.
when he's half asleep and not fully in his right mind, if you scratch at his scalp in just the right way, he'll start to purr quietly. his purr is deep and makes his chest vibrate in a way that feels nice against your cheek. this also happens if he's drunk enough.
after a long day, he lets out a big huff when he lays down in bed or sits on the couch for the first time.
part of the reason he tracks you so thoroughly with mephisto is because you're his greatest treasure, so it goes against his hoarding instincts to let you leave his 'hoard' (his home). he needs to keep an eye on you to make sure you return safely.
since you're his favorite treasure, he likes to admire you. whether you're awake or asleep, he enjoys staring at you for long periods of time, studying the small details of your appearance and seeing if he can find anything new. this isn't only a sexual thing! (though he does stare even more intently when you're wrapped in pleasure.)
if you're focused on something else and he's by your side, sometimes he'll take your arm to examine it a bit closer and spin it around to get a good view of all angles, or hold your hand in his own and watch how your little joints move when he plays with your fingers.
if you ask him about why he's staring so much, he'll often offer up something he learned in a thoughtful yet slightly smug tone. "You have a new mole here. On the back of your shoulder." (he's proud of himself for knowing you so thoroughly).
if he's displeased, sometimes he'll let out a low rumble. it's difficult to hear if you don't know to listen for it.
Sometimes, when you feel like routine is starting to drain all your strength out, and a mental breakdown is hanging like a heavy cloud somewhere over your head, you finally decide to relax a little. Some fun couldn't hurt you, right?
And for once you happily agree to your bestie's offer to drop by some shady club. (It's definitely not because you think she's going to explode if she postpones a "casual" meeting with a certain silver-haired situationship for another week. Yep. Who happens to be the owner of the club. Which for some reason she can't visit alone).
And so, because you are a kind soul, and a very impatient one, not to mention, you grab her the moment she ends her shift (poor girl works even on weekends, so naturally, you needed to spice up her dating life a little), and exactly two hours later you set out on your way to get the best out the Sunday night left.
But, as expected, your solitude doesn't last long, as the moment she brags how she managed to book you the last two seats for tomorrow's lecture on art history (the one you never expected to get to) (the one you were ready to die for) a familiar figure appears at your VIP table, not so apologetically whisking her away, sliding your reward across the table in return with a knowing nod.
The gleam of his black card matches the one in your eyes, and so you decide that today is the day you try something new.
And then, as expected, you enter your favorite part of the evening with music and some sweet cocktails as your only companions.
Or... not?
Somethere across the room, near the bar, you catch someone's gaze.
And suddenly you can't look back.
And the next morning, as your friend tries to bring you back to your senses, you learn that you, in fact, never did. Didn't stop at just looking, too. She tells you she had to physically remove you from some guy when she finally managed to find you two around midnight, and no matter how many obscene details she adds describing you being glued to his neck, it stirs no memories whatsoever.
Straight up no thought. Mind blank.
And she must be lying for sure, because you never drink that much, no matter how tempting the offer to max out the given card seems to you. And you never even come up to random guys, so for you to kiss him? You needed to be wasted. And, again, you never drink this much, so....
But there's no time to argue as you frantically get ready, and absolutely no chance to ask more later, when you manage to squeeze into the bus to the uni. And only as you try to slip into the lecture hall, seeing your visible confusion, she gently squeezes your hand and whispers, "Don't worry, I can probably just ask Sylus to look through the cameras. We'll find your Romeo in no timeâ"
"If you are late, ladies, try to keep quiet at least."
Wait.
You know that voice.
You freeze somethere near the second row, and turn.
There, under the light of the projector, a familiar gaze slides down your figure, slowly taking you in. Your breath hitches as he smirks and slightly fixes the collar of his black turtleneck, and you swear something dark flashes on his pale skin.
Oh, well. If anyone should be telling you about art, it might as well be him. The soft curl of his hair, the gentle slide of his waist, the slight curve of his lips: everything about him almost hypnotizes you, calls to you like a siren song.
And you're ready to swallow your pride and quietly hide in the back row, apologizing profusely, but your eyes flicker up involuntary.
Your heart drops.
As if to make it worse, your friend chooses exactly that moment to whisper to you quietly, "Omg... It's him."
And the worst thing? He hears it. Of course he hears it.
The light softly reflect in his rimless glasses, as he smirks slowly, "There are some sits left at the front row. Why are you going so far away?"
You must be still under a spell, truly, one that was casted on you yesterday night, as you obediently find two sits at the front row, a little bit to the left (simultaneously giving you a nice view of his side profile). Unbearable silence stretches while the room is frozen in anticipation, and you nervously search your bag for any piece of paper and a pencil.
The later suddenly slips out of your trembling grip, but before you manage to embarrass yourself even more, a hand catches it. You forget how to breathe as the same guy quickly twirls the pencil between his slender fingers before placing it gently right at the center of your sheet.
"Well, once again," he catches your gaze, "for the newcomers. My name is Rafayel Qi, and I will be the speaker for today's lecture. Feel free to ask any questions."
He turns away, returning to his place at the pulpit, but before you can breathe out, he turns slightly, pure amusement in his eyes shining dangerously.
"Latecomers are kindly requested to come over after the lecture."
â đ a.n. something short & sweet I was preparing for Rafayel's birthday, but forgot :(((
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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Hello! I just wanted to let you know how much I adore your The crow's song series... I was rereading it again today... I know you haven't updated it in a while... But I still appreciate your work... Thank you so much for sharing it â¤ď¸
Hiiii!!! I am so happy to hear it 𼺠Please know that I'm not giving up on it! It's very dear to me for many reasons + since April is Sylus's month, I'm hoping to step up again đŤĄ
Thank you for your support!! It means sooo much to me :)
Sometimes, when you feel like routine is starting to wear you out, and a mental breakdown is hanging like a heavy cloud somewhere over your head, you finally decide to relax a little. Some fun couldn't hurt you, right?
And for once you happily agree to your bestie's offer to drop by some shady club. (It's definitely not because you think she's going to explode if she postpones a "casual" meeting with a certain silver-haired situationship for another week. Yep. Who happens to be the owner of the club. Which for some reason she can't visit alone).
And so, because you are a kind soul, and a very impatient one, not to mention, you grab her the moment she ends her shift (poor girl works even on weekends, so naturally, you needed to spice up her dating life a little), and exactly two hours later you set out on your way to get the best out the Sunday night left.
But, as expected, your solitude doesn't last long, as the moment she brags how she managed to book you the last two seats for tomorrow's lecture on art history (the one you never expected to get to) (the one you were ready to die for) a familiar figure appears at your VIP table, not so apologetically whisking her away, sliding your reward across the table in return with a knowing nod.
The gleam of his black card matches the one in your eyes, and so you decide that today is the day you try something new.
And then, as expected, you enter your favorite part of the evening with music and some sweet cocktails as your only companions.
Or... not?
Somethere across the room, near the bar, you catch someone's gaze.
And suddenly you can't look back.
And the next morning, as your friend tries to bring you back to your senses, you learn that you, in fact, never did. Didn't stop at just looking, too. She tells you she had to physically remove you from some guy when she finally managed to find you two around midnight, and no matter how many obscene details she adds describing you being glued to his neck, it stirs no memories whatsoever.
Straight up no thought. Mind blank.
And she must be lying for sure, because you never drink that much, no matter how tempting the offer to max out the given card seems to you. And you never even come up to random guys, so for you to kiss him? You needed to be wasted. And, again, you never drink this much, so....
But there's no time to argue as you frantically get ready, and absolutely no chance to ask more later, when you manage to squeeze into the bus to the uni. And only as you try to slip into the lecture hall, seeing your visible confusion, she gently squeezes your hand and whispers, "Don't worry, I can probably just ask Sylus to look through the cameras. We'll find your Romeo in no timeâ"
"If you are late, ladies, try to keep quiet at least."
Wait.
You know that voice.
You freeze somethere near the second row, and turn.
There, under the light of the projector, a familiar gaze slides down your figure, slowly taking you in. Your breath hitches as he smirks and slightly fixes the collar of his black turtleneck, and you swear something dark flashes on his pale skin.
Oh, well. If anyone should be telling you about art, it might as well be him. The soft curl of his hair, the gentle slide of his waist, the slight curve of his lips: everything about him almost hypnotizes you, calls to you like a siren song.
And you're ready to swallow your pride and quietly hide in the back row, apologizing profusely, but your eyes flicker up involuntary.
Your heart drops.
As if to make it worse, your friend chooses exactly that moment to whisper to you quietly, "Omg... It's him."
And the worst thing? He hears it. Of course he hears it.
The light softly reflect in his rimless glasses, as he smirks slowly, "There are some sits left at the front row. Why are you going so far away?"
You must be still under a spell, truly, one that was casted on you yesterday night, as you obediently find two sits at the front row, a little bit to the left (simultaneously giving you a nice view of his side profile). Unbearable silence stretches while the room is frozen in anticipation, and you nervously search your bag for any piece of paper and a pencil.
The later suddenly slips out of your trembling grip, but before you manage to embarrass yourself even more, a hand catches it. You forget how to breathe as the same guy quickly twirls the pencil between his slender fingers before placing it gently right at the center of your sheet.
"Well, once again," he catches your gaze, "for the newcomers. My name is Rafayel Qi, and I will be the speaker for today's lecture. Feel free to ask any questions."
He turns away, returning to his place at the pulpit, but before you can breathe out, he turns slightly, pure amusement in his eyes shining dangerously.
"Latecomers are kindly requested to come over after the lecture."
â đ a.n. something short & sweet I was preparing for Rafayel's birthday, but forgot :(((
It's exactly three hours from the capital to your estate, four hours if you first need to escape the city center, and three more if you have an evening meeting you can't miss.
Exactly seven hours keeping you away from Caleb. There, in the future, are you still waiting for him?
Are you even...?
He sighs. The evening pulls on nerves, testing his patience. The hall is bright, bathed in the soft light of hundreds of candles, shining with a dance of too many smiles, voices and viands. Honestly, it's too big for a person not to get lost in, a tad bit too provoking to feel small and unnecessary among fine figures.
Out of habit, he cautiously tries to squeeze his right hand; a familiar resistance greets him, making him sigh once again.
What is even the point of being here?
Because yes, as a Colonel, as a renowned hero he's now highly valued in society, placed to sit near the host, even; but this familiar feeling still creeps up to him, slowly, unnervingly setting somewhere low in his stomach. Once again, Caleb feels like a decoration, an impressive trophy flaunted around. He had always thought that status would free him from the need to feign interest; now he knew that the need grew with the said status accordingly.
Can you even endure seven more hours?
Caleb thinks back to the morning, the letter's sharp corners still crisp in his palm, almost burning.
Were you hurt badly?
What would it cost him to be there then, to be with you? His pride, maybe? He had reveled in his freedom for so many years, stuck to this distance providing the sence of control. The thought suffocates him now, seeps into his heart with slow, heavy drops.
Has the attacker been caught yet?
Looking around, how's this any different from the Lady Monten's ball you mentioned? A business meeting? More like a feast in honor of another victory that none of them had a hand in. Dressed up, self-absorbed pricks.
Were there as many of them at the ball when you were attacked? Were they smiling as someone cornered you in a hall full of people? It wouldn't have mattered if he had been there, though.
How could this have happened? How could someone of your status have been left alone? No, this couldn't be just an attack on a noble lady; it has to be something personal, something between two people.
And oh, Caleb has already heard what society had to say.
It had only been a couple of days, but the gossip was already overwhelming: that a possible suspect, your longtime admirer, was involved in a political scandal, that you must have found out something you shouldn't have known and paid for it in return. Some insisted that you got out of control in your own game, lost yourself in your own circle of intrigues. They painted an image of an insidious woman, proving that you had always been secretive and calculating beforeâ for what else if not to hide your own sinister intentions? Others lamented how unfortunate it was that a tragedy happened to such a kind soul; if not for the rejection, they sighned, there might have been someone to stand up to you.
And sometimes, between laments and sighs, someone would sneer: oh, but you must be alive, and just leading everyone on.
Caleb believed none of it, but he certainly harbored hope for the latter.
Who did you reject, though?
Because if it is who he thinks it is, things are simply not adding up. Because among all of your suitors (and it's not like Caleb is keeping count) there is only one with the needed amount of power and pettiness to commit something alike, and the only one, who happened to attend the said ball too; but Lord Wallies is a man of principle, and of strong beliefs, too, with a short temper long left behind in his youth â very unlikely to act up even due to a sudden rejection.
But he still was prideful though...
And he was a part of opposition.
So what was he even doing there, compromising himself like that on the event almost completely funded by the royal family?
The questions multiply in his head, buzzing like a disturbed swarm. The fact of death has not been officially confirmed, but people definitely saw blood, and a lot, and your estate remained stubbornly silent, suppressing any questions. Some supposed that the county must be quietly preparing for the funeral.
By the time the last toast is raised, it's well past midnight, and Caleb feels the chance of seeing you again fading away as the wine in the cups go.
Why is he still here? Is it worth it? Is this the freedom he ran away from you for?
His mind fogs up suddenly; he doesn't remember getting up from the table, or how someone called out to him as he passed the wide columns at the entrance, out of breath.
Because as his hands tremble on the reins, Caleb still can't think about anything else,
but you.
...
It's already sunrise when the roofs of your estate finally rise above the hills, like silver awakened by the sun itself, covered in soft fog.
Inside, everything is unusually quiet and motionless, as if time had not touched this place at all. This stability always weighed on Caleb; constancy confused him, made him doubt his position, his powers. Here he was always too young and harsh, too inconsiderate in his desires.
And even though he had trully grown up far from these walls, but one glance â and he is eighteen again, and behind the cover of ivy at the far wall your voice is barely audible, but insistent and direct. Your eyes are shiny as you gaze up at him, and on your tongue are the same words: "From now on, you will be truly free, Caleb. Free from your duty in here, from this walls, from..." you avert your eyes for a moment and smile bitterly, "...from me."
And you are on the verge of tears when he struggles to interfere, because during so many years he had never seen you crying, and it unsettles him, feels wrong, and-
And you press on, unknowingly twisting the knife even deeper, "But I want you to know, Caleb. You don't have to return here because it weights on you; because you owe me. Youâ you don't," your voice betrays you, so the next words come out breathless, almost a whisper, "I just want you to remember. Indulge me, for the last time".
And he never got to ask in what exactly: because as his brows furrow, betraying his confusion, you stop talking at all.
The last thing Caleb remembers is your lips, suddenly warm and soft on his, pressing shyly, but stubbornly. He remembers how you suddenly become so small to him, so delicate in your attempt to reach his height.
He had never understood why you didn't come to see him off; now the purpose lays clear â he did remember, after all.
...
Your room is on the third floor, with a nice view overlooking the garden and a small part of the training grounds.
Caleb knows it well â he's felt your silent gaze on him far more than once.
It's easy for him to slip by the guards, easy to follow the way he knows by heart. But it's one thing to find your room, tucked a little to the left near the staircase in the east wing;
to find it silent and empty is another, however.
The air is still inside, almost weighted, like the window was left closed for days.
No, that just can't be true.
His pulse jumps and an unfamiliar panic rolls over Caleb, heavy, ringing in his ears. It'sâ it's that the room is too dark, he can't even see properly; yes, the moment he opens the curtain, all will fall right into place. There is no way you are reallyâ
Dim light abruptly fills the bedroom, cold and silent as it falls directly on the canopy of your bed. Desperate, he pulls it aside, too.
It's empty.
Noâ no, it can't be happening to him-
The war has long ended, and Caleb hoped that he would never experience it again- that feeling, that overwhelming feeling of helplessness before the loss.
He takes a few steps back, taking the room in one last time, hoping he missed something, but to no avail: once so familiarly warm, it feels void now, scraped clean of your existence. There's no books on your bedside table, no dresses hanging from the screen near your wardrobe, no drawings on the walls.
Was everything put away after youâ no, no that can't beâ
Next step back greets him with something cold by his nake, and Caleb winces, turning around in one swift motion, and freezes, forgetting how to breathe.
Your eyes are as sharp as the blade of your sword by his throat, tired but piercing as you silently gaze up at him.
He gasps, "You â"
"Caleb?" your eyes widen as you take a step back yourself, lowering the blade slightly, still too cautious to put it away completely.
He feels his throat dry up.
You are alive.
"Why? Youâ You can't be hereâ" Your voice comes out too quiet, full of hesitance and confusion, and he reaches a hand to soothe your almost instinctively. You don't oblige him, however, and Caleb holds his breath as you raise the sword a little higher once again. It shines as the first rays of sunlight catch on its surface, and his eyes follow down, all the way to your tightly clasped hands. Your knuckles are almost white from the tension, but still, your hands don't shake. Caleb furrows his brows.
You can't be used to the weight, can you?
"What are you doing here, Lord Xia? Don't make me repeat myself." Oh, that hurts. Your voice is weirdly unfamiliar when you talk like that, he notices; the title only adds to the weight, drawing the line clear. You used to talk like that to noisy servants.
He hadn't heard it in years.
"Lord Xia â"
"You... you're alive," he whispers.
"What are you doing here?" your breath comes out uneven, and Caleb stiffens at the way you purse your lips, a telltale sign of your patience slipping away. You look afraid and lost, like his appearance here is something unlikely, wrong, and he feels like he needs to calm you down to stop this.
"Wait, lookâ I didn't mean to scare you," he forces himself to say something, bracing the ringing in his ears as relief mixed with confusion rolls over him in one strong, overwhelming wave.
"When why are you here, Caleb?" you press on, still on guard and panting, "Why are you in the middle of my room, in my estate, in ungodly hours of the night?! What am I to think?!" You search his eyes, "Tell me!"
It dawns on him that you must be still living off the aftershocks of the accident, torn and restless, because no, there's just no way... you can't be afraid of him.
This time you make a step back, as if slipping away, and the next words that suddenly leave him are rushed, desperate.
"I came to see you."
You pause.
His voice seems too calm for you liking, and Caleb watches as your eyes widen, the realization sinking in. You grin then, cruel and almost mad, something he never saw you doing, and lower your sword slowly.
"Oh, did you, now?" you straighten up, shuddering slightly, and shift your weight to one side, using the sword as a support. It digs slightly into the floor, but you pay it no mind, almost entertained, "And what made you do it, exactly?" you tilt your head slightly. "Am I suddenly too good to loose when my life is at risk?"
He wants to protest, but you continue, tilting your head.
"Don't tell me you pity me, Xia."
It sounds terribly like truth, even though he knows it's not only that that brought him here.
No, it's a lie, for sure. But the real thing feels too scary to confess, even more terrifying in its core; he can't just admit something so overwhelming at once, so he stays silent, only urging you further.
"Oh? You are?" you pick up the sword again, slowly approaching him. A soft rasp fills the room, sharp and unsettling. "But I don't need it. I don't need you checking in on me from time to time. I haven't been a part of your responsibilities for a long time, don't act like I am and please, leave me out of this."
You come even closer, the distance so small he could feel your breath on his skin.
"Why are you here? Why did you come, Caleb?" you whisper.
"I thought youâ I just wanted to see you." And everything falls at once. You expression breaks, pure outrage clouding your eyes, and you twist your hand on his collar, yanking him down. Your sword crashes to the floor in one fast, careless motion, as you press a finger to his chest, firm and accusing, too sudden for him to react.
"You wanted to see me?! You? Oh no, Caleb, you wanted to see that everything is still alright, that you still have control under the situation!" you yank him again, even harder. "But the thing is, you don't. Because I'm not your duty anymore, even if you treat me like one."
"I do not treat you like thatâ" he tries to free your hand from his shirt, agitated.
"But you only ever show up if you feel like you need to! Be it obligation or your wounded dignity, I don't even care!" Tears stream down your cheeks, unwanted and unstoppable, and he feels like he's suddenly drowning, unarmed before them.
Because it must be the tears, the way your eyes are finally full of emotions, how your hair is parted today â all making you seem smaller, more vulnerable than before; you almost remind him of his sister, when she would complain about her loneliness, eyes red as she told him how other girls her age did not want to play with her.
"I almost died, Caleb! I- I almost died and you come here to see me? I waited for you for... for so many years, and it's my supposed death that makes you come here? To check?" you turn away and try to free your hand up, but he squeezes it even harder, moving it from the crumpled colar to his beating heart.
And, just because he can't help himself, because he is used to always having the last word, because he needs to resist you, like it always been before, Caleb doesn't even register the words that slip him in an attempt to justify himself.
"You say that now, but it wasn't my decision to suddenly go away to the other side of the Empire, no?" you take in a sharp breath, and slowly look up at him, stunned. "Or was it me who woke up one day and decided it was enough, because everything become boring overnight? You accuse me of treating you like a duty, but admit it, it was you who drew a clear line between us! You who didn't want to see someone out of noble bearing next to you, so you sent me away to try and acquire it," Caleb feels your pulse quicken ander his palm, restless rhythm matching his heart.
Fighting with you seems like something wrong, inappropriate, but you're alive, and it's too thrilling for him to just accept silently.
"But I'm not your loyal dog anymore and-
The ringing sound of a slap reverberates in the predawn silence, and you both fall silent, equally stunned.
You look at him then, really look, and he feels pinned under the calculating pressure of your gaze. There is something in your eyes once again, this wandering edge, like you are thinking other your next step, but it's gone before he can properly catch it, buried under a new flood of tears.
You take another step back, then another and another, trying to feel the surface of the dressing table with your hand. He watches you wince as soon as you sit down on the settee next to it, pressing a hand to your left side.
Two small bloodstains silently appear on the snow-white nightgown.
For a few moments you just sit there, quietly trying to rein your sobbing. You still do a poor job at that.
"You know, Caleb, there are things that even status can't hide," you are looking away from him now, down and out the window. At the training grounds, it seems.
"Even if you're noble now, there are some things you perhaps... just can't grasp. I should have realized it sooner."
"What do you mean?"
You don't answer directly and just shrug, wincing again.
"Imagine you fall in love with somebody and you really, really want to tell them. But you can't," you lower your eyes as you pick on the settee's velvety trim, "And not even because it is inappropriate, through it surely is, but because you know the answer already and you know that you would only ruin everything."
"So you don't." A small ribbon rips off the ruffles and you clench it into a fist, "You don't and you just pretend nobody knows. You look for excuses, try to buy some time, hope it will pay off."
"But of course, you can't wait forever and you can't torment others forever. So you gather all the strength you have left, grit your teeth and make a deal. A ticket to a new life for a certain someone in exchange for an indefinite service. Debts for a new chance of equality."
"And then you wait again, and some more, and a little bit longer, until there almost none of your time left."
"All that just to find out the person you did it for thinks you just got disposed of him."
And even though he can't see his reflection in your eyes now, when he meets them again, Caleb feels like he is not ready for what comes next. The sound of blood in his ears drowns all else, making it difficult to think straight.
Even if he doesn't want to admit it, something in him surely breaks as you wipe away the tears, sobbing softly.
"What do you think is easier, Caleb: to find some unfortunate nobleman who owes you, and, promising to forgive his debt, force him to adopt someone so that you can fake pregnancy and marry him, or,â" you sob again, even harder this time, your body shaking with it, "or, knowing how reckless it is for you, to make a deal for the opportunity to send him to a prestigious academy, from which he may not just not return to you, but as practice has shown, he may not return at all? What would you choose?!"
Your gaze flickers across his face, searching for something only you can get. He doesn't know if he wants you to find it yet, though, and not a word comes to mind to answer you.
He hears and understands every word you say, gets the hint; but putting it all together still feel impossible under the stubborn pounding of his heart.
What exactly did you do to place him in the academy? You were so young, which means that any kind of power would hardly have been available to you. What did you do then, so many years ago, to ensure this for him?
Because yes, you may have been very young, but he was too, so why didn't he ask you about it?
Wearily, you cover your eyes with your palms and turn away, curling into yourself slightly. A thin chain slips from under the collar of your nightgown, shining cautiously with a poisonous-yellow topaz. A gift from the ruling family, forever present on you since your sixteenth birthday.
No, something's definitely wrong; he can't just lose his grip. During all these years, you haven't been able to convince him, so why now...?
Still, he takes a step closer.
"Is that's why you've been attacked? Does it has something to do with me?" He watches as some more tears roll down your hands, and softens, quietly kneeling next to you.
It's not an interrogation.
"Hey, don't hide from me, please," he reaches for your hand and slowly lowers it; you surprisingly let him, eyes following from there he holds you and up to his face, again.
And that look of yours, tired and teary, with eyes slightly red from crying, the way your lips quiver to stop the sobbing, it all surely do something to him. He always has been so weak before women crying, be it his sister or his worried grandmother, but yours feel different, almost make him grow hot.
It's him who you are crying over. He who makes you this emotional, him who you worry about. It feels like it only ever been him, and it both scares and thrills him.
Do you even know how it affects him, he wonders?
"Itâs not," you murmur, looking at him through your lashes. "I- I can't blame you for this. You don't have to follow me around, Caleb. I just needed to be smarter."
"Do you know who it was? Is it that Lord? Wallies, or something?" it feels wrong to inquire, but his appearance itself was very suspicious, as much as your reaction, as you slightly stiffen, grasping his hand.
"I don't know... I doubt he is involved, honestly. I know he must be under suspicion since we arrived together, but I don't want to jump to conclusions, Caleb." Something in your world makes him displeased, so he presses on, eager to find out the truth.
"Together? Did he invite you? Or was it you who invited him? Because in that caseâ"
"Can we not talk about this right now, Caleb?" you beg. "I thought you understood how unpredictable nobles can be, now that you're part of this environment... But that's not the point, right? You are still afraid of me."
"Every time I think things are about to get better, similar things happen. Do you know what it's like to be a woman in charge of a county? When you are seen not as a person, but only as an incredibly profitable match? A stupid girl who just can't survive without a husband?!" You tremble, unable to free yourself from his grasp. More tears roll down your cheeks, and Caleb wolfishly follows each one.
"I just don't understand. What am I doing wrong? I just want someone to understand me. Someone to keep my secrets so I can keep theirs."
You bend over slightly and rest your head on his forearm, gently wrapping your arm around it, cautious, as if testing the waters. You're so careful and warm that it feels like all the heat is gathered right at the the very tips of your fingers. He can almost feel them through his clothes, right on his skin.
But you can't possibly know that this is the arm he was wounded in, can you?
"Is it really that hard to just be on my side?" you whisper, pressing even closer to him.
And Caleb feels that this is the moment when everything has to be decided. His will crumbles, and the answer arises by itself, clear and obvious, as if someone is gently leading him by the hand to this decision. He doesn't feel any doubt, and you, here, very-very close, closer than you ever been before, are clearly not something to be afraid of.
But something still looms over him, a vague sense of a point of no return. Something inside is still stubbornly pulling back.
Caleb tells himself that it must be just wounded pride.
"I'm on your side."
You sigh shakily, unable to control yourself, and Caleb pulls you even closer, head spinning at the thought that you easily allow it to him. Cling even closer even, burying your face in his neck, your breath right at his pulse point.
Caleb takes one last look at you, soaking up the warmth of your body, and closes his eyes.
...
The sun slowly slips through the open curtains, promising the beginning of a new day. One of the rays hits the mirror by the dressing table, and you look up, catching your own gaze.
Despite the tears, the smile on your face is too pleased, so you quietly hide it in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Your pulse jumps as you press impossibly closer, and it's not just his scent that makes your head spin, almost intoxicating.
You look at you both for the last time and close your eyes, sighing.
Got you.
â đ a.n. hi guys!!! guess what? ohhh omg I was writing this part for soooo long... been trying so hard to make it interesting for you, so i hope the wait was worth it and you were able to find all the clues to what really happened :) waiting for your comments to discuss!! đđ
THAT CALEB NOVEL!AU HIT THE RIGHT SPOT!! I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2đŠ ITâS MANDATORY TO VISIT UR PROFILE EVERYDAY IN CASE U UPDATE LMAO. IM SO EXCITEDđ
forgot to answer that omg.... sorry sorry the part is out đ
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It's exactly three hours from the capital to your estate, four hours if you first need to escape the city center, and three more if you have an evening meeting you can't miss.
Exactly seven hours keeping you away from Caleb. There, in the future, are you still waiting for him?
Are you even...?
He sighs. The evening pulls on nerves, testing his patience. The hall is bright, bathed in the soft light of hundreds of candles, shining with a dance of too many smiles, voices and viands. Honestly, it's too big for a person not to get lost in, a tad bit too provoking to feel small and unnecessary among fine figures.
Out of habit, he cautiously tries to squeeze his right hand; a familiar resistance greets him, making him sigh once again.
What is even the point of being here?
Because yes, as a Colonel, as a renowned hero he's now highly valued in society, placed to sit near the host, even; but this familiar feeling still creeps up to him, slowly, unnervingly setting somewhere low in his stomach. Once again, Caleb feels like a decoration, an impressive trophy flaunted around. He had always thought that status would free him from the need to feign interest; now he knew that the need grew with the said status accordingly.
Can you even endure seven more hours?
Caleb thinks back to the morning, the letter's sharp corners still crisp in his palm, almost burning.
Were you hurt badly?
What would it cost him to be there then, to be with you? His pride, maybe? He had reveled in his freedom for so many years, stuck to this distance providing the sence of control. The thought suffocates him now, seeps into his heart with slow, heavy drops.
Has the attacker been caught yet?
Looking around, how's this any different from the Lady Monten's ball you mentioned? A business meeting? More like a feast in honor of another victory that none of them had a hand in. Dressed up, self-absorbed pricks.
Were there as many of them at the ball when you were attacked? Were they smiling as someone cornered you in a hall full of people? It wouldn't have mattered if he had been there, though.
How could this have happened? How could someone of your status have been left alone? No, this couldn't be just an attack on a noble lady; it has to be something personal, something between two people.
And oh, Caleb has already heard what society had to say.
It had only been a couple of days, but the gossip was already overwhelming: that a possible suspect, your longtime admirer, was involved in a political scandal, that you must have found out something you shouldn't have known and paid for it in return. Some insisted that you got out of control in your own game, lost yourself in your own circle of intrigues. They painted an image of an insidious woman, proving that you had always been secretive and calculating beforeâ for what else if not to hide your own sinister intentions? Others lamented how unfortunate it was that a tragedy happened to such a kind soul; if not for the rejection, they sighned, there might have been someone to stand up to you.
And sometimes, between laments and sighs, someone would sneer: oh, but you must be alive, and just leading everyone on.
Caleb believed none of it, but he certainly harbored hope for the latter.
Who did you reject, though?
Because if it is who he thinks it is, things are simply not adding up. Because among all of your suitors (and it's not like Caleb is keeping count) there is only one with the needed amount of power and pettiness to commit something alike, and the only one, who happened to attend the said ball too; but Lord Wallies is a man of principle, and of strong beliefs, too, with a short temper long left behind in his youth â very unlikely to act up even due to a sudden rejection.
But he still was prideful though...
And he was a part of opposition.
So what was he even doing there, compromising himself like that on the event almost completely funded by the royal family?
The questions multiply in his head, buzzing like a disturbed swarm. The fact of death has not been officially confirmed, but people definitely saw blood, and a lot, and your estate remained stubbornly silent, suppressing any questions. Some supposed that the county must be quietly preparing for the funeral.
By the time the last toast is raised, it's well past midnight, and Caleb feels the chance of seeing you again fading away as the wine in the cups go.
Why is he still here? Is it worth it? Is this the freedom he ran away from you for?
His mind fogs up suddenly; he doesn't remember getting up from the table, or how someone called out to him as he passed the wide columns at the entrance, out of breath.
Because as his hands tremble on the reins, Caleb still can't think about anything else,
but you.
...
It's already sunrise when the roofs of your estate finally rise above the hills, like silver awakened by the sun itself, covered in soft fog.
Inside, everything is unusually quiet and motionless, as if time had not touched this place at all. This stability always weighed on Caleb; constancy confused him, made him doubt his position, his powers. Here he was always too young and harsh, too inconsiderate in his desires.
And even though he had trully grown up far from these walls, but one glance â and he is eighteen again, and behind the cover of ivy at the far wall your voice is barely audible, but insistent and direct. Your eyes are shiny as you gaze up at him, and on your tongue are the same words: "From now on, you will be truly free, Caleb. Free from your duty in here, from this walls, from..." you avert your eyes for a moment and smile bitterly, "...from me."
And you are on the verge of tears when he struggles to interfere, because during so many years he had never seen you crying, and it unsettles him, feels wrong, and-
And you press on, unknowingly twisting the knife even deeper, "But I want you to know, Caleb. You don't have to return here because it weights on you; because you owe me. Youâ you don't," your voice betrays you, so the next words come out breathless, almost a whisper, "I just want you to remember. Indulge me, for the last time".
And he never got to ask in what exactly: because as his brows furrow, betraying his confusion, you stop talking at all.
The last thing Caleb remembers is your lips, suddenly warm and soft on his, pressing shyly, but stubbornly. He remembers how you suddenly become so small to him, so delicate in your attempt to reach his height.
He had never understood why you didn't come to see him off; now the purpose lays clear â he did remember, after all.
...
Your room is on the third floor, with a nice view overlooking the garden and a small part of the training grounds.
Caleb knows it well â he's felt your silent gaze on him far more than once.
It's easy for him to slip by the guards, easy to follow the way he knows by heart. But it's one thing to find your room, tucked a little to the left near the staircase in the east wing;
to find it silent and empty is another, however.
The air is still inside, almost weighted, like the window was left closed for days.
No, that just can't be true.
His pulse jumps and an unfamiliar panic rolls over Caleb, heavy, ringing in his ears. It'sâ it's that the room is too dark, he can't even see properly; yes, the moment he opens the curtain, all will fall right into place. There is no way you are reallyâ
Dim light abruptly fills the bedroom, cold and silent as it falls directly on the canopy of your bed. Desperate, he pulls it aside, too.
It's empty.
Noâ no, it can't be happening to him-
The war has long ended, and Caleb hoped that he would never experience it again- that feeling, that overwhelming feeling of helplessness before the loss.
He takes a few steps back, taking the room in one last time, hoping he missed something, but to no avail: once so familiarly warm, it feels void now, scraped clean of your existence. There's no books on your bedside table, no dresses hanging from the screen near your wardrobe, no drawings on the walls.
Was everything put away after youâ no, no that can't beâ
Next step back greets him with something cold by his nake, and Caleb winces, turning around in one swift motion, and freezes, forgetting how to breathe.
Your eyes are as sharp as the blade of your sword by his throat, tired but piercing as you silently gaze up at him.
He gasps, "You â"
"Caleb?" your eyes widen as you take a step back yourself, lowering the blade slightly, still too cautious to put it away completely.
He feels his throat dry up.
You are alive.
"Why? Youâ You can't be hereâ" Your voice comes out too quiet, full of hesitance and confusion, and he reaches a hand to soothe your almost instinctively. You don't oblige him, however, and Caleb holds his breath as you raise the sword a little higher once again. It shines as the first rays of sunlight catch on its surface, and his eyes follow down, all the way to your tightly clasped hands. Your knuckles are almost white from the tension, but still, your hands don't shake. Caleb furrows his brows.
You can't be used to the weight, can you?
"What are you doing here, Lord Xia? Don't make me repeat myself." Oh, that hurts. Your voice is weirdly unfamiliar when you talk like that, he notices; the title only adds to the weight, drawing the line clear. You used to talk like that to noisy servants.
He hadn't heard it in years.
"Lord Xia â"
"You... you're alive," he whispers.
"What are you doing here?" your breath comes out uneven, and Caleb stiffens at the way you purse your lips, a telltale sign of your patience slipping away. You look afraid and lost, like his appearance here is something unlikely, wrong, and he feels like he needs to calm you down to stop this.
"Wait, lookâ I didn't mean to scare you," he forces himself to say something, bracing the ringing in his ears as relief mixed with confusion rolls over him in one strong, overwhelming wave.
"When why are you here, Caleb?" you press on, still on guard and panting, "Why are you in the middle of my room, in my estate, in ungodly hours of the night?! What am I to think?!" You search his eyes, "Tell me!"
It dawns on him that you must be still living off the aftershocks of the accident, torn and restless, because no, there's just no way... you can't be afraid of him.
This time you make a step back, as if slipping away, and the next words that suddenly leave him are rushed, desperate.
"I came to see you."
You pause.
His voice seems too calm for you liking, and Caleb watches as your eyes widen, the realization sinking in. You grin then, cruel and almost mad, something he never saw you doing, and lower your sword slowly.
"Oh, did you, now?" you straighten up, shuddering slightly, and shift your weight to one side, using the sword as a support. It digs slightly into the floor, but you pay it no mind, almost entertained, "And what made you do it, exactly?" you tilt your head slightly. "Am I suddenly too good to loose when my life is at risk?"
He wants to protest, but you continue, tilting your head.
"Don't tell me you pity me, Xia."
It sounds terribly like truth, even though he knows it's not only that that brought him here.
No, it's a lie, for sure. But the real thing feels too scary to confess, even more terrifying in its core; he can't just admit something so overwhelming at once, so he stays silent, only urging you further.
"Oh? You are?" you pick up the sword again, slowly approaching him. A soft rasp fills the room, sharp and unsettling. "But I don't need it. I don't need you checking in on me from time to time. I haven't been a part of your responsibilities for a long time, don't act like I am and please, leave me out of this."
You come even closer, the distance so small he could feel your breath on his skin.
"Why are you here? Why did you come, Caleb?" you whisper.
"I thought youâ I just wanted to see you." And everything falls at once. You expression breaks, pure outrage clouding your eyes, and you twist your hand on his collar, yanking him down. Your sword crashes to the floor in one fast, careless motion, as you press a finger to his chest, firm and accusing, too sudden for him to react.
"You wanted to see me?! You? Oh no, Caleb, you wanted to see that everything is still alright, that you still have control under the situation!" you yank him again, even harder. "But the thing is, you don't. Because I'm not your duty anymore, even if you treat me like one."
"I do not treat you like thatâ" he tries to free your hand from his shirt, agitated.
"But you only ever show up if you feel like you need to! Be it obligation or your wounded dignity, I don't even care!" Tears stream down your cheeks, unwanted and unstoppable, and he feels like he's suddenly drowning, unarmed before them.
Because it must be the tears, the way your eyes are finally full of emotions, how your hair is parted today â all making you seem smaller, more vulnerable than before; you almost remind him of his sister, when she would complain about her loneliness, eyes red as she told him how other girls her age did not want to play with her.
"I almost died, Caleb! I- I almost died and you come here to see me? I waited for you for... for so many years, and it's my supposed death that makes you come here? To check?" you turn away and try to free your hand up, but he squeezes it even harder, moving it from the crumpled colar to his beating heart.
And, just because he can't help himself, because he is used to always having the last word, because he needs to resist you, like it always been before, Caleb doesn't even register the words that slip him in an attempt to justify himself.
"You say that now, but it wasn't my decision to suddenly go away to the other side of the Empire, no?" you take in a sharp breath, and slowly look up at him, stunned. "Or was it me who woke up one day and decided it was enough, because everything become boring overnight? You accuse me of treating you like a duty, but admit it, it was you who drew a clear line between us! You who didn't want to see someone out of noble bearing next to you, so you sent me away to try and acquire it," Caleb feels your pulse quicken ander his palm, restless rhythm matching his heart.
Fighting with you seems like something wrong, inappropriate, but you're alive, and it's too thrilling for him to just accept silently.
"But I'm not your loyal dog anymore and-
The ringing sound of a slap reverberates in the predawn silence, and you both fall silent, equally stunned.
You look at him then, really look, and he feels pinned under the calculating pressure of your gaze. There is something in your eyes once again, this wandering edge, like you are thinking other your next step, but it's gone before he can properly catch it, buried under a new flood of tears.
You take another step back, then another and another, trying to feel the surface of the dressing table with your hand. He watches you wince as soon as you sit down on the settee next to it, pressing a hand to your left side.
Two small bloodstains silently appear on the snow-white nightgown.
For a few moments you just sit there, quietly trying to rein your sobbing. You still do a poor job at that.
"You know, Caleb, there are things that even status can't hide," you are looking away from him now, down and out the window. At the training grounds, it seems.
"Even if you're noble now, there are some things you perhaps... just can't grasp. I should have realized it sooner."
"What do you mean?"
You don't answer directly and just shrug, wincing again.
"Imagine you fall in love with somebody and you really, really want to tell them. But you can't," you lower your eyes as you pick on the settee's velvety trim, "And not even because it is inappropriate, through it surely is, but because you know the answer already and you know that you would only ruin everything."
"So you don't." A small ribbon rips off the ruffles and you clench it into a fist, "You don't and you just pretend nobody knows. You look for excuses, try to buy some time, hope it will pay off."
"But of course, you can't wait forever and you can't torment others forever. So you gather all the strength you have left, grit your teeth and make a deal. A ticket to a new life for a certain someone in exchange for an indefinite service. Debts for a new chance of equality."
"And then you wait again, and some more, and a little bit longer, until there almost none of your time left."
"All that just to find out the person you did it for thinks you just got disposed of him."
And even though he can't see his reflection in your eyes now, when he meets them again, Caleb feels like he is not ready for what comes next. The sound of blood in his ears drowns all else, making it difficult to think straight.
Even if he doesn't want to admit it, something in him surely breaks as you wipe away the tears, sobbing softly.
"What do you think is easier, Caleb: to find some unfortunate nobleman who owes you, and, promising to forgive his debt, force him to adopt someone so that you can fake pregnancy and marry him, or,â" you sob again, even harder this time, your body shaking with it, "or, knowing how reckless it is for you, to make a deal for the opportunity to send him to a prestigious academy, from which he may not just not return to you, but as practice has shown, he may not return at all? What would you choose?!"
Your gaze flickers across his face, searching for something only you can get. He doesn't know if he wants you to find it yet, though, and not a word comes to mind to answer you.
He hears and understands every word you say, gets the hint; but putting it all together still feel impossible under the stubborn pounding of his heart.
What exactly did you do to place him in the academy? You were so young, which means that any kind of power would hardly have been available to you. What did you do then, so many years ago, to ensure this for him?
Because yes, you may have been very young, but he was too, so why didn't he ask you about it?
Wearily, you cover your eyes with your palms and turn away, curling into yourself slightly. A thin chain slips from under the collar of your nightgown, shining cautiously with a poisonous-yellow topaz. A gift from the ruling family, forever present on you since your sixteenth birthday.
No, something's definitely wrong; he can't just lose his grip. During all these years, you haven't been able to convince him, so why now...?
Still, he takes a step closer.
"Is that's why you've been attacked? Does it has something to do with me?" He watches as some more tears roll down your hands, and softens, quietly kneeling next to you.
It's not an interrogation.
"Hey, don't hide from me, please," he reaches for your hand and slowly lowers it; you surprisingly let him, eyes following from there he holds you and up to his face, again.
And that look of yours, tired and teary, with eyes slightly red from crying, the way your lips quiver to stop the sobbing, it all surely do something to him. He always has been so weak before women crying, be it his sister or his worried grandmother, but yours feel different, almost make him grow hot.
It's him who you are crying over. He who makes you this emotional, him who you worry about. It feels like it only ever been him, and it both scares and thrills him.
Do you even know how it affects him, he wonders?
"Itâs not," you murmur, looking at him through your lashes. "I- I can't blame you for this. You don't have to follow me around, Caleb. I just needed to be smarter."
"Do you know who it was? Is it that Lord? Wallies, or something?" it feels wrong to inquire, but his appearance itself was very suspicious, as much as your reaction, as you slightly stiffen, grasping his hand.
"I don't know... I doubt he is involved, honestly. I know he must be under suspicion since we arrived together, but I don't want to jump to conclusions, Caleb." Something in your world makes him displeased, so he presses on, eager to find out the truth.
"Together? Did he invite you? Or was it you who invited him? Because in that caseâ"
"Can we not talk about this right now, Caleb?" you beg. "I thought you understood how unpredictable nobles can be, now that you're part of this environment... But that's not the point, right? You are still afraid of me."
"Every time I think things are about to get better, similar things happen. Do you know what it's like to be a woman in charge of a county? When you are seen not as a person, but only as an incredibly profitable match? A stupid girl who just can't survive without a husband?!" You tremble, unable to free yourself from his grasp. More tears roll down your cheeks, and Caleb wolfishly follows each one.
"I just don't understand. What am I doing wrong? I just want someone to understand me. Someone to keep my secrets so I can keep theirs."
You bend over slightly and rest your head on his forearm, gently wrapping your arm around it, cautious, as if testing the waters. You're so careful and warm that it feels like all the heat is gathered right at the the very tips of your fingers. He can almost feel them through his clothes, right on his skin.
But you can't possibly know that this is the arm he was wounded in, can you?
"Is it really that hard to just be on my side?" you whisper, pressing even closer to him.
And Caleb feels that this is the moment when everything has to be decided. His will crumbles, and the answer arises by itself, clear and obvious, as if someone is gently leading him by the hand to this decision. He doesn't feel any doubt, and you, here, very-very close, closer than you ever been before, are clearly not something to be afraid of.
But something still looms over him, a vague sense of a point of no return. Something inside is still stubbornly pulling back.
Caleb tells himself that it must be just wounded pride.
"I'm on your side."
You sigh shakily, unable to control yourself, and Caleb pulls you even closer, head spinning at the thought that you easily allow it to him. Cling even closer even, burying your face in his neck, your breath right at his pulse point.
Caleb takes one last look at you, soaking up the warmth of your body, and closes his eyes.
...
The sun slowly slips through the open curtains, promising the beginning of a new day. One of the rays hits the mirror by the dressing table, and you look up, catching your own gaze.
Despite the tears, the smile on your face is too pleased, so you quietly hide it in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Your pulse jumps as you press impossibly closer, and it's not just his scent that makes your head spin, almost intoxicating.
You look at you both for the last time and close your eyes, sighing.
Got you.
â đ a.n. hi guys!!! guess what? ohhh omg I was writing this part for soooo long... been trying so hard to make it interesting for you, so i hope the wait was worth it and you were able to find all the clues to what really happened :) waiting for your comments to discuss!! đđ
geto suguru is everyoneâs first crush. having a crush on him is as hopeless as it is inevitable though your friends quickly disagree that the awe-struck, mouth gaping expression is a strictly you thing, and that he isn't as much of a campus celebrity as you believe he is. regardless, you're determined to put your inability to hold a conversation with him in the past. the solution is simple, you seek out his best friend. if geto suguru is everyoneâs first crush (again, a completely objective statement), then gojo satoru is everyoneâs first heartbreak.
pairing: frat&icehockey!gojo x reader
content: mdni, idiots in love, oblivious reader, babyâs first kiss + virginity taken by same person (satoru ><), suguru as the wingman, a little angst, mostly fluff + crack !! titjob, a little spitting, p in v, degrading, oral, fingering handjob etc etc 37k+
note: happy belated national arabian horse day! this was meant to come out on the 19th but life got in the way... regardless of the day hit up a friend and start beating a dead horse to celebrate!
Geto Suguru is everyoneâs first crush.
Your friends insist youâre seeing him through some delusional rose-tinted lens and that he is, in fact, not as much of a campus celebrity as you believe him to be. You reject that notion. One look at him from across the room, other party goers be damned, is all it takes to confirm what you already know.
Geto laughs at something one of his friends says, tipping forward slightly as the alcohol softens his movements. You catch the tail ends of his laughter through the thumping bass, the glint of light reflected off his lip piercings when he smiles wide, his hand running through his untied black hair.
It would be as easy as walking up and saying hi to start a conversation. It would be as easy as smiling for him to turn his head and grace you with a smile of his own.
Oh, what you would give to be bathed in his gaze, for that pretty smile to widen at the sight of you. Heâd spot you through the crowd, youâd tuck your hair shyly behind your ear and heâd politely excuse himself from his conversation to walk over to introduce himself to this mysterious beauty from across the room.
Shoko makes a noise like sheâs strangling herself but when you turn to save her, sheâs staring at your face. âDo you have any idea what you look like right now?â
âWhatâs wrong? Did I smudge my liner?â
You pull out your phone to check your makeup using the reflection but between the flashing lights and someoneâs elbow jutting from your peripheral, youâre only eighty percent sure you donât look a mess.
Considering you dragged your roommate out to this party last minute, Shoko sips her drink with commendable patience. âEven if you did, that would be the least of your worries. Look, you really donât have to overthink this. We didnât just spend all night planning this for you to end up weirding him out with that look in your eye.â
âShit, that was the rehearsed deer look I was talking about!
âRehearsed how?
You decisively ignore her. âI just want to do this right.
Her eyes soften slightly. Sheâs always been weak to your woes. âYou will. Heâll love you. If you donât believe in yourself, believe in me. I promise you Iâve known this guy for years and youâre exactly the type of person he just eats up.â
You think of all your attempts to enter Getoâs world. There's just something mystifying about him, some kind of aura he emits that has you tripping over your tongue and freezing at the worst moments. Your words become stilted, your humour and wit abandoned at every crucial moment, causing you to simultaneously dread talking to him as much as you wished for it.
Shoko turns you to face her, eyes steady in a way yours isnât. âAre you ready?
You let out a slow breath and attempt to mimic her determination with a single nod.
âThen go find him.â
When you hesitate to even take a single step forward, Shoko gives you a push and then youâre off, legs moving without another thought. The crowd swallows you, bodies brushing past and jolting your shoulders, knocking you here and there. But none of that matters. Not when your heart is already set. Not when determination is the one thing keeping you upright, guiding you closer and closer to the boy who somehow makes a packed, sweaty houseparty fade into background noise
For too long, youâve let this intoxicating feeling linger, letting it settle deep in your chest, almost convincing yourself that watching from the sidelines was enough. As if anything short of his eyes on you, perhaps even his lips on yours, could quiet the restless longing twisting in your heart. Limerence is what Shoko diagnoses you with, but the word feels too small for the intensity that surges through you every time his name crosses your mind.
Geto appears like a beacon before you, the crowds having finally parted enough for you to catch a good look. The party music transitions to an angelic choir but admitting that is basically affirming Shokoâs concerns that your infatuation is unhealthy, so you quickly refocus. Your heart clenches, pounds against your ribcage, and you only hope the dim lighting will hide the warmth spreading across your cheeks. Heâs right there, right within reach. All you have to do is say his name.
All you have to do is make him see you.
You take a step forward, mumble an apology to the girl you bumped shoulders with, take another step towards where heâs laughing with a friendâthen veer sharply to the right and slip into the kitchen.
If talking to Geto were really as easy as saying hi, you would have done it months ago.
The kitchen is quieter, the bass reduced to a distant, muffled thump and you can finally breathe as the crowd thins. Thereâs still chatter though significantly more bearable and your eyes fall onto the small cluster of boys within, standing in the near dark.
Your feet instinctively slow but Shokoâs voice in your head tells you that youâve done too much to stop now and with a deep breath, you step beyond the threshold.
One by one, the group takes notice of you, their rambunctious laughter quietening into soft chuckles as heads pop up to look. Itâs not strange for someone to enter the kitchen at a party so the most you get is a head nod in greeting before they return to their conversation.
You reach for a red cup and then for a jug of some mysterious jungle juice.
Unfortunately, the jug sits behind one of the boys. Even worse, it sits behind who youâre really here at the party looking for.
Leaning lazily against the counter and nursing a red solo cup of something strong no doubt, stands Gojo, Getoâs best friend.
If Geto Suguru is everyoneâs first crush (again, a completely objective statement), then Gojo Satoru is everyoneâs first heartbreak.
You can feel the burn of Gojoâs stare as you get close enough to lift the jug and pour, hands trembling slightly. Before you can help yourself, you steal glances from the side of your eye, landing squarely on his shirt specifically at the crude letting that reads âTwo Seaterâ, arrows pointing abashedly toward both his crotch and his face.
You look back up immediately. You donât want to know.
The punch sloshes into your cup, some of it missing due to your shaky hands and you donât notice until a sticky trickle runs over your fingers. You hastily stop pouring and lick at the mess.
Before you can figure out how to announce your presence, thereâs a rush of footsteps and another frat boy appears. Hikari, you think his name was, stands by the kitchen entrance, hair slightly disheveled from his usual style, loud and demanding as heâs always been.
âHey!â He calls, scanning the room. âYou guys need to come see this.
A chorus of half-drunk âwhat?â and âsee what?â answers him like a herd of seagulls.
âIn the living room,â he says. âThere's two people on the floor andââ He stops, glancing over his shoulder like the situation might escape him if he looks away for too long. âJust hurry up!
His vague words cause curiousity to spread faster than wildfire. The group of boys begin funnelling out of the kitchen, cups still in hand, voices rising with excitement.
âWhat is it?
âIs it a fight?
âPlease tell me itâs a fight.â
âDid someone break something?â
Hikari doesnât elaborate, instead turning and leaving the kitchen, confident the herd will follow. One friend, Choso if you remember correctly, looks back at Gojo who remains calmly drinking from his cup, still leaning against the counter beside you
âArenât you coming, Satoru?â
Gojo shrugs, tipping back the last of his drink. âNah. You go on ahead.â
Choso hesitates like he wants to ask why, then seems to think better of it.
âSuit yourself,â he mutters, already backing toward the door as someone behind him shoves past with a whoop.
Within seconds, the kitchen drains of bodies.
Youâre deathly aware of the warm presence beside you. You inhale deeply and turn, ready to get this over and done with only to find him shamelessly looking at you.
For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other, his expression unreadable as he looks you over before his face splits into a lazy grin. âHey.â
âHi,â you squeak, immediately reprimanding yourself at the awkward sound.
His smile only grows. âI didnât expect to see you here. Are you looking for someone? Or maybe you missed the exit? Itâs down the hall to your right.â
âThatâs rude.â You cross your arms in an attempt to place distance between the two of you and to maintain a confidence you donât feel. âI attend parties.â
Gojo huffs and you feel slightly offended. He straightens and steps closer, close enough that his cologne hits youâsharp, expensive, and entirely too much. âI donât know about that. Iâve never seen you at one of these before.â His head tilts, regarding you. âHow do you even know Sukuna?
For a moment you blank, wondering why he was asking about Sukuna. It hits you then that this party must be his. âAh. I came with Shoko.â
He hums. âThat makes sense. Shoko always did have a habit of collecting strays.
âExcuse me?â
âNot a stray,â he amends lightly at your glare. âMore like her lost puppy.ââJust because youâve only ever seen me when Iâm with Shoko doesnât mean Iâm always with Shoko.â
âI was talking more about how you were holding onto her shirt in the crowds earlier. She didnât bring a leash for you?
âDonât project your weird kinks onto me.
âDo you often spend time thinking about what weird kinks I might be into?â Thankfully, Gojo lets the topic go before you really do decide to throw it all away and walk out. âBut alright, letâs say I believe you and youâre just here for the party. Why are you here in the kitchen, then?â
âWhat else do people come to parties for? Iâm here to drink. And stuff.â You trail off, clearing your throat.
âReally?â He eyes your untouched cup. âBecause thatâs just juice. The good stuffâs over here.
He steps into your personal space to reach over you to grab a bottle from the top of the fridge and youâre face to face with the gross words on his top. He retracts his arm, bottle in hand, but doesnât step back. âWant me to pour you one?â
You think back to the last time you let yourself drink under the unwise judgement of Shoko, and how you can only recall glimpses of light and the vague memory of a toilet bowl âItâs fine, Iâve already had a lot to drink.
âRight,â he says, in a tone that makes it clear he doesnât believe you for a second.
You watch as Gojo pours himself another drink, sipping leisurely, pointedly ignoring the way youâre staring.
Gojo isnât exactly a stranger, but itâs an overestimation to call him your friend. In truth, heâs Shoko's friendâwhich means she occasionally drags him back to your shared dorm before disappearing to do whatever it is best friends do. You catch glimpses of him in passing, fleeting and inconsequential, never quite crossing into âintroduce-yourselfâ territory. Why would he? Heâs the kind of guy who turns heads without trying, long-limbed, effortlessly confident, wearing the grin of someone whoâs never been told no in his life.
Where Geto is soft-spoken and warm, guiding you through conversation with patient smiles and gentle ease, Gojo is loud and vibrant and reckless. There's a challenge in his eyes, a knowing smirk on his lips, like the world is perpetually entertaining and heâs always in on the joke.
You, on the other hand, are about as normal as it gets.
When the silence draws into something a little less casual and far more awkward, you clear your throat. âIâm Y/N by the way.
âI know who you are.â
âYou do?â
âShokoâs roommate, right? Weâve seen each other before. Sheâs mentioned you too.â He offers a hand, eyes holding yours like he knows youâll pull away with anything less. âIâm Gojo. Itâs nice to finally meet you.â
You go to echo his words, that of course you knew he was the Gojo Satoru but hesitate, settling instead for shaking his hand. His grip is warm and solid, carrying none of the jitteriness you feel. Hell, maybe you should have accepted a drink after all. What is this, a job interview? Why are you shaking his hand?
When you let go, you become painfully aware of how damp your palms are and curse yourself silently.
Gojo picks up on the silence and moves to lean against the counter, mimicking your earlier pose such that his arms are crossed over his chest, only emphasising his biceps in his sleeveless top. âSo, Y/N. If you didnât come in here for a drink, why are you here?â
His words cause you to still. This was it. Every moment in your dorm, huddled around the whiteboard usually reserved for studying, now littered with far less academic plans, Shoko chiming in her own thinkpieces occasionally. It all accumulated to this moment.
âI was looking for you actually. I wanted to talk to you.â Your voice is barely a whisper and humiliation slowly sinks in when he doesnât answer immediately. Perhaps he didnât hear you considering youâre speaking to your shoes.
When you finally look up, thereâs an unreadable expression on his face. Gojo slowly tracks his eyes up and down your figure. Finally, he straightens, head tilted slightly. âTalk to me? Alone?"
You nod, and his face breaks into a broad grin.
âI wasnât expecting that. Not that I hate it,â he purrs, voice dropping into something smoother as he steps closer and curls a loose lock of your hair around his finger. âWhat did you want to talk about, princess?"
Your mind vaguely registers the gesture, feeling the dampness of your palms once again. âI donât really want to say here."
His fingers still, your hair wrapped around it. âOh?"
You wonder what that look in his eyes meant. âCould we go upstairs?â
Gojo cocks his head, smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. His brows knit slightly, but his eyes gleam with amusement as he releases your hair, the strand falling back into place in a soft wave. âYou do know Iâm Shokoâs friend, right? And youâre her best friend?â
âWhy does that matter?â
âSeriously? You donât think itâll be awkward?â
Awkward? You blink, trying to make sense of his words. Perhaps Gojo and Shoko had argued recently. Maybe he didnât want her catching sight of the two of you together else it put you in an awkward position. Heâs more considerate than you expected.
âIt doesnât have anything to do with her,â you say carefully. âWhether you or I are friends with Shokoâit doesnât matter to me. I just want to talk to you.â You smile in satisfaction, relaxing a little at his kindness.
Gojo suddenly laughs, brushing a hand through his hair as he throws his head back like youâve said the funniest thing. When he looks back down at you, his eyes are shining. âThatâs what Iâm saying! But every time I joke about it to Shoko, she goes all crazy on me. Looks like we have a lot in common, huh? I guess that makes us compatible.â
You continue to smile, the corners of your lips wavering a little in uncertainty. Youâre not entirely sure what he means by that but considering youâre about to ask him for a favour, you appreciate his good mood.
âWell, alright,â he says at last, taking your hand. âIâd love to hear you out. Lead the way.â
Ignoring the little flip of nerves your stomach does as you hold his hand (perhaps he felt too drunk to climb the stairs alone?), you turn and lead him back into the living room and up the stairs to the quieter rooms of the house. The hand holding serves another purpose, you realise, as you weave through the crowds of people and he would surely have lost you had you not held on tighter, practically dragging him onwards.
You feel a tug before your feet can even touch the second floor, like heâs suddenly become immovable. Before you can turn and check on him, you feel the warmth of his chest against your back, his hand slipping from yours to settle at your waist. Youâre pulled to a stop, his breath now brushing against your ear, his hair tickling the side of your face. Youâre certain heâs leaning over you despite being a step lower, and the faint scent of alcohol and sandalwood fills your senses.
âI didnât think youâd be so proactive,â he murmurs. You think he might have inhaled, slow and deliberate, but itâs hard to tell over the base vibrating through the floorboards and the frantic pounding of your heart. âWhat else are you hiding from me, hm?â
He reaches for your hand and turns you slightly so you can watch as he licks your fingers, tasting the sticky residue of your spilt juice. His blue eyes seem to sparkle, mesmerising in a way that makes you freeze. âYou taste sweet.â
Your breath hitches and he must have heard because the hand on your waist tightens and pulls you against him, head leaning down to gently nip at your neck. Your stomach does that little flip again, this time accompanied with a hot flush that short-circuits your brain.Â
âWait!â He chuckles softly, lips ghosting over a soft spot that makes your knees tremble a little. âDonât be nervous. You have me right where you want me.â
You freeze, heart hammering, fingers twitching. When his hand slips just barely beneath the hem of your top, the words tumble out of you in a rush.
âI like Geto!â
For a heartbeat, everything goes still, his hand, his lips, his breath. Gojo pauses, lips pulling back from your sweaty neck. In fact, his entire body jerks back, both feet returning to the step beneath you, hand leaving your waist to turn you to face him. His fingers find your chin to tilt your face down, eyes dark as they hold yours.
âWhat did you just say?â
You swallow, looking him in the eye. âI like Geto.â
He stares at you wordlessly for a few more moments before he frowns, letting go of you completely and stepping down one more step just for good measure. âWhat the fuck are you doing here with me then?"
You gesture frantically between yourselves, finding the answer quite simple. âTo talk? Thatâs what I said earlier, didnât I? I wasnâtâI wasnât insinuating⌠I wasnât trying toâyou know?â
âYou said you wanted to come with me upstairs.â
âYeah?â
âAlone.â
âRight.â
His frown only deepens at your easy response. âYou know how that sounds, right? To get a guy alone upstairs at a party?â
âIt sounds like I wanted to talk to you privately?â You try again at his disbelieving expression. âThe music was super loud. I didnât think youâd be able to hear me downstairs and I had to ask you something important so I didnât want to risk it.â
He lets out a huff, something short and breathy, lips quirked upwards like he finds something amusing, even as his eyes stay locked on you, unmoving. âYouâre kidding me, right?â
You hold out your hands as if to say, âWhat can you do?â.
Gojo groans, dragging a hand down his face. âFigures this was too good to be true.â His hand drops from his eyes to cover his mouth as he continues to stare at you. âNothing about that situation implied you just wanted to talk. And about Suguru, of all things? Seriously, heâs being a cockblock and he isnât even here.â
âWhat was that?â
âForget it.â He drops his hand. âIâm leaving.â
You quickly hold onto his arm before he can completely turn. âWait!â
Maybe itâs the desperation in your voice, maybe itâs your iron-clad grip on his bicep but he doesnât attempt to pull away. Instead, he looks back and wrinkles his nose at you, a strangely childish gesture.
âIâm not in the mood to just talk. Not anymore.â
âCome on, please? Thereâs no one else I can ask!â
âI donât see how thatâs my problem.â
âIf you could just please, out of the kindness of your heart, hear me out I would seriously appreciate it!â
He doesnât budge.
âI wonât tell anyone I rejected you!â
He frowns. âFirst of all, you didnât reject me because it was a misunderstanding. Second of all, are you really in a position to blackmail me right now?â
âI wonât tell Shoko you were the reason her favourite candle knocked over and singed a bit of her rug.â
His frown only deepens. Blackmail, you think, is surprisingly effective. âHold on, how do you even know that?â
âWhat do you mean? I was literally right there.â
Gojo lets out a deep, long groan. He wriggles out of your hold, sending you a glare. âYou know, you really suck at asking for help.â
âYou donât have to agree to helping me just yet. Just at least give me a chance to explain. Weâre already here, arenât we?â
âYeah, well, I had other plans when we got up here that didn't involve just talking.â
You remind yourself to be patient. Again, you were the one asking for a favour, heâs the only one that can help you with your dilemma, you need him. Donât call him a disgusting freak and walk away.
Clapping your hands together, you muster your best pleading look and send it his way. âPlease, Gojo.â
Youâre not really sure what broke through his defenses. For your own ego, you decide it must be because of your puppy dog eyes because he lets out a sigh and gives a reluctant nod.
âGo to the room to the right of the stairs.â
You bite back the instinct to cheer. Halfway through turning around, you look over your shoulder. âYouâre coming too, right?â
âJust get up there before I change my mind.â
Wondering if souring his mood like this would backfire on you, you quickly hop up the remaining steps and head to the mentioned room just in case he really does change his mind. It would be beneficial to appease him before you ask for a crazy favour, after all. Therefore, you donât even try to eavesdrop as Gojo continues to mumble to himself as he follows behind, worrying that somehow he might hear and turn around.
When you both reach the room, he closes the door and leans against it, arms crossed over his chest and expression flat in a way that feels very un-Gojo. Youâre suddenly struck by the unfairness of it, of how someone with such a careless, teasing exterior can also appear so unreadable when he wants to.
âFive minutes.â
You clear the irrelevant thoughts from your head. âExcuse me?â
âYou have five minutes before Iâm going back down.â
You take a deep breath. This is it, no backing out now. âOkay. I need your help.â
He huffs, unamused. âSo youâve said. But with what exactly? Calculus? Because spoiler, Iâve been drinking.â
âWith Geto.â
You watch in real time as the connection in his brain is made. He straightens off the door slightly. âWait. Suguru? You want help with Suguru? What kind of help? Love help? You want love help with Suguru?â
Every word from his mouth is like a bullet to your dignity. Through gritted teeth, you hiss, âYes. Can you be any louder?â
âI can try,â He says with a hint of humour. The smirk returns to his face and a feeling of foreboding looms over you. âThis is what you wanted to get me alone to say?â
âLook, I needed someone whoâs close with him and youâreââ
âClose? Please, Iâm his best friend. Iâm practically his wife.â
âOh. So that makes us competition?â
He wrinkles his nose and looks you up and down. âYou want me to help you get him.â
You nod.
âYou want to confess to him.â
âObviously.â
âDate him?â
âThatâs the goal."
âSleep with him?â
You give him a look so incredulous that he laughs, short and amused. âIf you want advice just hit up reddit. If you want him to like you back then an etsy witch has you covered for five dollars. I donât see why you have to bother me.â
âBecause,â You say slowly. âHeâs surrounded by people. He doesnât even know me. I need all of that, the advice, the reciprocation, and I need someone who can get me close enough to him where he can notice me. And I feel like getting an etsy witch to manipulate his dreams to include me would cost more than five dollars. And Iâm broke. And Iâm kind of bad with guys.â
âSo, what? You want me to introduce you to him?â
âSure. And maybe tell me what he likes?"
Gojo looks you up and down again. He leans back against the door but this time, thereâs something smug and arrogant about his posture, eyes lazy as he takes up as much space as he can. âYouâre not even his type.â
âThatâs fine, Iâm flexible.â
âThatâs something you say at a job interview, not when youâre trying to get a boyfriend.â
âJust shows that I have an adaptable personality.â
âHe just came out of a 2 year relationship,â He shoots back.
âI accept and embrace his past.â
âHe has a habit of leaving his jackets on the arm rest of couches.â
âI have hands, I can put them away.â
âWhereâs your self-respect?â
âWith him. Iâll get it back after I get with him.â
Gojo huffs. âHe doesnât even know you.â
âThatâs why Iâm asking you for help.â
âYou know, I think I liked you better when you were just a shy little thing stumbling over your words.â
Again, you can only shrug.
When he only frowns, you decide to use your hidden ace. Before he can open his mouth and surely reject you, you beat him to it, voice overlapping his.
âIâll tutor you!â
His eyes narrow and when he doesnât say anything else, you push on.
âI know youâre aiming for that sports scholarship to study abroad next year.â
âHow do you even know about that?â He catches on quick with a groan. âShoko.â
You nod. âAnd I know that youâre looking for someone to tutor you because you need to get good grades to get accepted. If you help me with this, I promise I can definitely bring your grades up. We both benefit!â
Gojo stares at you like youâve just grown a second head and you think youâve lost him when his lips twitch. Then, almost traitorously, one corner lifts higher.
âYou,â he says slowly, pointing at you like heâs identifying a rare species, âAre trying to bribe me. Youâre trying to bribe me because you canât get game by yourself.â
âIt's not a bribe,â you say stiffly. âI'm just saying thereâs something in it for the both of us.â
âItâs a bribe,â he repeats, delighted now. âHoly shit, Shoko's roommate is bribing me. How desperate can you get?â
âIâm offering to give you academic support!â
âWith strings attached.â
âYes,â you sigh. "That's usually how deals work.â
He grins, wide and boyish and every bit infuriating as youâve ever known him. âYou think I can't get a tutor without helping you bag my best friend?â
âWell, you havenât yet.â
âThat's because I don't need one.â
âRight. So I should just forget all the times Shoko has ranted to me about how you keep asking her for help?â
âYou know, this conversation has really enlightened me on who my real friends are.â His gaze slides back to you, assessing. âAnd youâre confident you can help me?â
You straighten your shoulders and give a solemn nod. âIâve fixed worse than you.â
He studies you, eyes tracking your features down to your shoes and you fight the urge to squirm self consciously. He seems to be recalibrating you, seeing you not as Shokoâs tagalong but as an actual person making a very earnest, albeit very ridiculous, request.
Finally, he sighs, long and dramatic.
âWell, at least you have one thing going for you. Suguru eats this kind of stuff up, hardworking, stubborn, a little patheticââ
âHey.â
ââin a cute pet way,â he amends smoothly. âRelax.â
You glare at him anyway but the rational part of your brain reminds you that you need this. He grins back, entirely unrepentant.
âFine,â he continues, raising a finger, âIf I do this, weâre doing it my way. That means we need rules.â
You fight the urge to jump up and down in joy. âI was going to suggest that anyway! How about this, weââ
âRule one,â he says, face settling into something serious. âYou canât fall in love with me.â
Unable to help yourself, you burst out laughing. âTrust me, thatâs not going to be an issue. You're definitely not my type.â
At your laugh he smiles though it doesnât reach his eyes. âRule two, no complaining. Keep that mouth in check, sweets.â
You giggle. âWhat's wrong, fragile ego?â
He raises an eyebrow and you mumble irritated curses under your breath. âSorry.â
âRule three, if Suguru ends up falling head over heels for you, you owe me big.â
âHow big?â
His eyes flick down to your mouth again, then back up, smirk slow and dangerous. âIâll decide later.â
You catch the movement and swallow, feeling none of the humour from earlier. âOkay, deal. Then, rule four, you take your studying seriously. I don't tutor people who donât care.â
âI think between the two of us, I want to succeed the most so thatâs a given. Any more rules, sweets?â
When you shake your head, he nods. âThen, weâll start tomorrow.â
âNot today? I mean heâs literally right here,â You quickly clarify. âNot a complaint, just a question!â
âI came here to get drunk and have a good time. Iâm going to need at least three drinks to get me back there so be a good girl and wait. Iâll text you tomorrow if you really canât be patient. Unless, you want to back out already?â
You straighten your shoulders, trying to match his confidence. âIâm not backing out! I just want to make sure youâre not going to ditch me. This isnât really a normal request.â
âOh, so you know?â
You roll your eyes at him but have the decency to at least look bashful.
âTomorrow,â he repeats then jerks his chin toward the door. âGo on, sweets. Before I sober up and regain some self-respect.â
âDonât call me that.â
âA complaint?â
You bite your lip. âA suggestion.â
âHereâs a real suggestion,â he starts, turning around to open the door. Standing in the doorframe, he gives you one last look. âNext time you ask a guy to go upstairs with you at a party, maybe start with the part about not wanting to make out.â
Your face gets hot instantly, mouth opening to splutter, âI didnât mean anything by it!â
But he doesnât stay to hear the end of it, rejoining the masses downstairs without another word. He lifts his hand once as a goodbye and then heâs gone, leaving you alone in the room, half mortified, half exhilarated. Unwilling to give him any sense of victory with his last words, you head back downstairs and find Shoko to tell her the results of the first step of your plan.
Itâs a struggle pushing through the thick waves of people but you finally find your roommate off to the side, musing herself in a conversation with someone you donât recognise.
Instinctively, your eyes search for Geto if only to recall what youâre doing this for. Standing beside him, arm swung over his shoulder is Gojo, already sipping from a cup and laughing into the conversation with a natural ease that reminds you of the gap between who you were and who he is. As if sensing your gaze, he looks over and you flinch as if burnt. Something stirs in your gut and you wonder if your little plan to get with Geto has taken a slightly unpredictable turn.
âYou okay?â Shoko asks, noticing your fluster.
You nod, looking away quickly. âOf course. All going to plan, you know?â
âThen I guess youâre up to step two.â
âRight,â Your eyes drift back to Gojo and find him looking at you over the rim of his cup. The feeling in your stomach lurches. âStep two.âÂ
Step two begins with Gojo texting you at the ass crack of dawn. You blink the sleep from your eyes, squinting at the bright light of your screen in mild disbelief and annoyance as he tells you to pull up to his 9am lecture. Despite the lingering feeling that youâve bitten off more than you can chew, you understand that this is necessary.
You know for a fact that you have no classes today and therefore no reason to make the trek to university. a whole day,just gone and tasked with the impossible task of putting up with that infuriating player.
No, you reprimand yourself as you text back your agreement. No complaining. Do it for him, do it for Geto. With those words repeating in your head like a mantra, you pull yourself together and out of bed to get to campus.
It would be helpful, after all, to see where his studies were at if you were going to take this tutoring business seriously.
You get a coffee at the station to combat your sleepiness and the chill of a winter morning before hesitating and getting another. With two coffees, one in each hand, you wait outside his lecture room until the doors swing open.
Spotting him wouldnât be too hard, you muse, considering Gojo is impossible to miss.
And then, you see him.
His unmistakable frame, hair a messy white halo catching the late morning sun, strides into view. He's mid conversation as he steps out, animated, half-grinning, and you find yourself understanding why so many girls lose their minds over him.
âGojo!â You call out, voice slightly drowned out by the chatter all around.
Youâre about to give him a piece of your mind, him having been the reason why you kept to your phone all of last night like a wife anticipating the return of her war husband, when you freeze. Because when Gojo turns, your mind barely registering the amused look he gives you, the person he was talking to comes into view.
Because of course, where thereâs Gojo there is Geto, the yin to his yang.
You werenât ready for both of them.
Noticing your sudden stiffness, Gojo looks beside him and scoffs. Unimpressed, he starts walking over. You panic, attempting to smooth out your clothes and fix up your appearance though your hands are full of coffee so you end up doing an awkward wiggle.
âLook at you,â Gojo starts when heâs close enough. âLoitering outside my class like a fan. Maybe this is more urgent than I thought, not because you like Suguru but because you really need your self-respect back.â
You open your mouth to respond, to clarify, to deny, to just say something, but Geto catches up beside him and suddenly every possible word tangles up in your throat.
âOh. Hey,â Geto says, recognition flickering across his face. âYouâre Y/N, right?â
You blink, knees feeling weak and mind in shambles that he even knew your name let alone match it to your face. âUh, yeah! Thatâs me!â
He smiles, soft and easy, all the charm youâve seen him use on others now directed to you. âI thought so. Youâre in one of Shokoâs tutorials, no? I think I remember her mentioning you.â
âIâm her roommate, actually.â You try for a smile and pray it doesnât give off the extent of your adoration towards him.
âRight, that would be it. Iâm Geto.â
You nod mutely, wishing your brain would reboot to say something, anything that doesnât make you sound like youâve never spoken to a human before. Geto, he says, like you didnât already know his name, like he wasnât one of the most known people on campus. Still, the fact that he so humbly introduced himself only proves his humility and your heart gives a quiver.
This moment was everything youâve ever fantasied. His eyes on you, giving you that pretty smile youâve only seen directed at others. You could have stood there and basked in his attention until the end of time if Gojo didnât suddenly clap Getoâs shoulder and butt in.
âGreat, so glad youâre both acquainted,â he says, ignoring your glare and throwing an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his side. âBut as much as Iâd love to keep standing here and soak in this riveting small talk, I think my very dedicated super fan here needs me for something.â
You shoot him a look. âI am not your super fan.â
âNo? And is that not my coffee?â
You look down at your hands as if only remembering now what you were holding. Biting back a remark, you thrust out a coffee. âIt is.â
He grins, taking it and letting his fingers brush against yours. âThought so.â
Geto looks between the two of you. âOh, I see how it is."
Your eyes fling back to him at the same time Gojo exclaims, âWhat?â
âWoah, did I touch a nerve there or something?â Getoâs smile quickly turns smug. He returns Gojoâs earlier gesture and thumps him hard on the back twice. âI get it. Iâll get out of your hair then. Be gentle with him, Y/N. Heâs actually a pretty sensitive guy.â
It takes you a while to process his words so Gojo reacts first.
âDude, Iâm telling you itâs not like that.â
âSure,â Geto says in a tone that very much suggests he isnât convinced at all. âGuess Iâll see you around, yeah? Later, Satoru.â
You only realise seconds after he leaves that you hadnât said goodbye. In fact, after Gojoâs interruption, you hadnât managed to say anything more to Geto.
âHuh,â Gojo muses, breaking the silence. âYou get like that around him?â
You groan and find the lump in your throat gone. âI stood there like an idiot!â
âYou did.â
âHe probably thinks Iâm a freak!â
âProbably.â
âAnd you!â You look up to glare at him. âYou didnât have to make it sound so weird!â
âSo now itâs suddenly my fault?â
âYou caught me off guard by calling me your super fan!â
âRight, like that was the weirdest part of the conversation,â he shoots back, lips curled in dry amusement. âThat, and not the super sour face you were making at him. Like a grimace.â He mimics your expression and you properly grimace this time, hoping against all odds that that was not the face you had been making at the person you were actually a super fan for.
Deciding you will only lose if you continue to defend yourself, you choose to change the subject. âYou should have told me heâd be here.â
âYou never asked. Besides, is it my fault if you didnât prepare for that to happen?â
You sulkingly mumble a yes and he wags his finger at you, tutting disapprovingly.
âNo complaining, remember? Come on, letâs go. We have things to talk about.â
You sigh though relent to fall into step beside him, fingers curling around your own coffee as the crowd thins around you. Now that Geto is gone, the world feels marginally more comfortable, less bright, less sharp, but also less mortifying.
You remember your stuttering self a few minutes ago.
Still a little mortifying but now bearable.
Gojo takes a long sip of his coffee, then glances sideways at you over the rim. âFor future reference, I don't like coffee.â
You dig your elbow into his side and he winces but doesnât remove his arm around your shoulder.
âWhere are we going? I was thinking we could go to the library and look over your courses. That way I can pinpoint your weakness and where to target first. We only have a few months into graduation so weâre in a bit of a time crunch but I'm positive I can raise your grades from whatever they may be to⌠what?â
You trail off when you find Gojo looking down at you in disbelief. He shrugs when your eyes meet and shrugs, though the gesture is a little awkward with his arm over your shoulders.
âI just didnât think you were serious about the whole tutoring thing.â
âI keep to my promises, Gojo,â you pause. âAnd I hope you will too.â
He reaches over with his free hand to ruffle your hair, ignoring your squeak. âDesperation isnât a good look on you, sweets. Relax, relax, I'll get you two together. Trust me.â
You grumble but donât voice your suspicions, instead letting him drag you in a certain direction. You perk up when you donât immediately recognise your surroundings.
âWhere are we going?â
âI get it, you want to check me out. I'm just taking us somewhere where that can happen.â
âYour studies, not you,â you clarify.
âYeah, and my studies are mine so youâre checking me out.â
You grimace and he chuckles, turning you around a corner. âThe library is too quiet so weâre going back to my place.â
You stop abruptly.
âYour place?â
âYeah.â
âYour place?â
Gojo cocks his head as if listening to something in the distance. âDid you just hear that echo too?â
âForgetting the fact that we should clearly just go to the library or somewhere on campus at least, I thought you lived in Sig Kap?â
âRight you are. Wow, I'm really starting to see why youâre the perfect choice as a tutor.â
âBut you just said weâre going to your place.â
âNothing gets past you.â
âYour place as in the Sig Kap house.â
âLook at you go.â
You stare at his side profile, waiting for a punchline that wonât come.
âGojo.â
âYeah?â
âI am not going to your frat house.â
âWhat happened to not complaining? That was the first rule and youâre already breaking it, sweets. I'm starting to dread this whole arrangement,â he continues to tease, looking ever so peaceful.
âI'm sorry, I don't know what you think I'm about but I wouldn't willingly walk into a den full of men named things like Chad. Do you even have furniture?â
âI only had a cot for the majority of first year but now I've upgraded to a mattress on the floor.â
âGreat. Let's end this here.â
Gojo hooks his finger in your belt hoop before you can walk away. âFirst of all, we donât have a Chad. We do have a Kyle though.â
âYou're not doing yourself any favours.â
âSecond,â he continues on, pulling you back towards him with his finger. âItâs ten in the morning. Half of them are in class and the other half are probably legally dead.â
You stand your ground. âLibrary.â
âSig Kap.â
âLibrary.â
âSig Kap.â
âGojo.â
He leans in suddenly, close enough that you can see the faint crease at the corner of his eyes from squinting in the sun.
âYou want Suguru, right?â
Your breath catches and despite yourself, you hear him out. âSo? How is that relevant?â
âBecause,â he says mildly like heâs talking to a little kid. âSig Kap is where Suguru hangs out. He's my best friend, you know heâs my best friend thatâs why you came to me. Why wouldnât he be over at mine all the time? If you canât handle coming over now how are you ever going to fuck him?â
âI am notââ you choke, voice pitching before forcefully lowering your voice when you notice people looking at you. âThat is notâ I haven't evenââ
Gojo hums, watching you with a victorious grin. âSo you donât want to sleep with him?â
You make a startled noise and start walking in a random direction, eager to leave him behind. Life, however, is full of disappointments considering he follows, his arm draping over your shoulder once more.
âSo where are we going?â
You give in. âSig Kap.â
âWrong way, sweets.â
You groan but follow as he steers you in the opposite direction.
Gojo chatters in your ear the entire walk to where the frat houses are situated on campus, about how his least favourite professor is out to get him, about someone in his frat who set off the fire alarm this morning, about the latest philosophical debate holding the frat hostage: whether cereal is a soup or not. It's a steady stream of nonsense, ridiculous but unbroken because at least he wasnât talking to you so much as at you.
At some point, you stop responding entirely.
Somehow, his mere presence is enough to change your opinion and you actually feel relief when you finally see the house before you. Sig Kap stands broad and sunlit, paint only mildly chipped, windows open to let in the winter air. There's a couple bikes leaning against the porch railing and thereâs an abandoned hoodie on the outdoor chairs.
âOh thank god,â you mumble under your breath when he finally stops talking.
He lets you go to jog up the steps, opening the door to what youâre positive is about to be an overstimulating nightmare.
Warm air hits you first, carrying the scene of coffee and something oily. Sunlight stretches across worn hardboard floors until Gojo closes the door behind you and the hallway dims. A TV murmurs somewhere deeper into the house and thereâs a loud conversation happening upstairs.
âYou said everyone would be either in class or dead!â You hiss.
âIt was an exaggeration,â he says lightly. "Don't worry, everyoneâs harmless. But if youâre worried, you can just stick close to me.â
You ignore his cocky grin and shove him to get him walking. Unfortunately, getting to the stairs meant walking past the living room and you know things wonât be as harmless as he says when a voice calls out.
âYo!â
Gojo pauses and steps back to poke his head into the living room. âMorning.â
You awkwardly step back to let him, pushing you into view too.
Two heads snap toward you at once. One of them is sprawled across the couch, blanket half-tangled around his legs and a bowl of popcorn balances on his stomach. The other is slouched in an armchair, controller in hand, eyes bloodshot and face pale as if he was still hungover. Considering the state of the party last night, you donât doubt that he might be. Speaking of the party, you recognise the one on the left as Hikari.
âYouâre bringing a girl back in broad daylight?â The controller guy says, no tact whatsoever.
Hikari snaps his fingers in recognition. âHey, youâre the girl at the party.â
âDamn, back for more?â
Hikari shoves controller guyâs head down at the crude comment.
âShe's here to save my GPA,â Gojo explains. âSo keep it down, yeah?â
âThat's what we should be saying to you,â controller guy smirks.
Unfortunately, Gojo smirks back. âYou know they canât help it. I'm just too good.â
He guides you back towards the stairs as the boys in the living room chuckle, and when you finally think of something to say youâre already standing in the middle of his room. By then, thereâs another something to take up your mind and computing power.
Despite the relatively large floor plan, Gojo has decided to use none of it. True to his words, thereâs a mattress lying on the floor against one wall, blanket a mess and a single pillow sitting flat at the top. A stack of old textbooks make up a bedside table where thereâs a cute small lamp. On the other side sits a couch and a giant flat screen in front of it at a distance that would make optometrists frown.
Maybe thatâs why Gojo is sometimes seen wearing sunglasses indoors. Maybe theyâre prescription.
âThis is what you bring girls back to?â
Gojo drops his bag on the floor and flops down onto the couch, patting the cushion beside him. âCome sit.â
You eye the seat in disdain.
âWhat's with the look?â
âIs that even sanitary?â
He snorts. âWorried youâll get cooties or something? Relax, I rarely bring anyone back. Usually I go to the girlsâ place for that kind of stuff. Fucking on a mattress is pretty harsh on the back, you know. Youâre the first girl I've brought back in a while. Lucky you, right?â
You grimace but sit down gingerly. âCan you tell me what courses youâre doing?â
âWhat's the rush? Let's get to know each other better,â he says but he still reaches over to grab his laptop from his bag, opening it on his lap.
You can picture it so clearly, Gojo coming back from a long day of (skipping) classes to do his assignments and homework like this, slumped over his laptop on this surprisingly comfortable couch. The bare mattress on the floor might be a big contributing factor to his back pain, but you have no doubts that this routine wasnât doing him any favours. âHere,â he places his laptop on your knees and leans back, pulling out his phone from his pocket. âYou look.â
Considering his complete disregard of safety is not your issue, you donât protest and quickly type in the college website. As if sensing this is not the right time, a prompt pops up to log in again.
âPassword?â you ask, tilting the screen to him.
He barely looks up from his phone, one arm behind his head, the other typing away. âSixeyes69 question mark exclamation mark.â
You pause and type it in. It goes through.
âWhat's the number?â He asks, disinterested.
You look on the screen. â67.â
He chuckles. âNice.â
âAre you seriously okay with telling me your password like that?â
He shrugs, screenshotting the multi authenticator screen before hitting enter. The website in front of you loads and opens to his details.
âTtâs not like thereâs anything you can do with that. Are you planning to sneak in and do my assignments for me?â
Finding no fault in his words, you accept it and click through the tabs. Your brows quickly knit together as you read the contents.
âGojo.â
âMhm?â
âYouâre missing three assignments in this class, you have a midterm for another in two weeks and youâre barely passing first year statistics.â
Gojo looks up at the ceiling in deep concentration before looking down with a smile. âYeah, that sounds about right, why?â
âThis is insane! I'm not a miracle worker!â
âBetter find a lamp that grants wishes soon because your love life is on the line,â he points out. âThat was the deal, you find a way to get me into that scholarship and I get you and my best friend together. It's not my fault you were weirdly confident and didnât check to see where I was at before proposing that.â
Flabberghasted, you can only open and close your mouth like a fish. âLook, the midterm in two weeks, I can probably help with. The three assignments? You failing statistics?â
âPretty sure I passed that last quiz. Maybe check again?â
â51 is just barely passing which is basically a fail.â
âOh no, it seems like you canât do this after all. Looks like the deal is over. Hey, by the way, since youâre already here, why don't weââ Gojo sits up and leans in, one hand on your thigh above his laptop.
âI demand another favour.â
He freezes. âYou canât just do that.â
âI can,â you square your shoulders and meet his eyes. âI did this statistics class during my first year so I still have my notes. I can easily alter them and give them to you and if you have any questions, we can meet up and I'll go through the questions with you. There's no way you can submit two of the three missed assessments as late but I can help you write the one that was due last week. There will be a mark reduction but I'll make sure itâs as good as can be. And, like I said, studying for the midterm is possible in two weeks.â
Gojo stares at you as if seeing you for the first time. When he finally moves, itâs only to remove his hand from your knee and slump back into his leather couch. âYouâre insane.â
You wonder if heâs sulking.
âBut,â you continue on. âIf I help you with this then I can add to my condition. Besides, I made it too vague earlier and youâve helped me see that. So thank you.â
He rolls his eyes. âJust tell me.â
You bite your lip. âGo on a practice date with me.â
He blinks at you, giving you that same incredulous look before bursting into a fit of laughter that does wonders for your ego.
âHey.â
He keeps laughing, one hand resting on his chest.
âHey!â You hit his arm and he finally cracks an eye open to look at you.
âYouâre kidding,â he chuckles, struggling to catch his breath. âGojo Satoru doesnât do dates.â
âDon't refer to yourself in third person.â You smack his bicep one more time for good measure and because heâs weirdly solid under your touch. âIt wonât actually be a date. I just need to know how dates work. I can't just go from zero to not-zero without practice!â
His laughter trails off though the smile remains on his face. He tilts his head to the side. âYouâre at zero?â
You freeze, feeling like youâve walked into a trap.
âDefine zero.â
âHave you kissed anyone?â
You look away. âDefine kissed.â
He laughs again, though mercifully shorter. âThat's crazy. Next thing you know, youâre going to ask me to teach you how toââ
âPlease!â You say quickly. âIt won't be anything serious. I just need to know the mechanics, you know, how dates actually work. What youâre supposed to say, how you sit, when you pay, whether eye contact should be continuous or intermittentââ
âJesus,â he mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face. âYouâre actually a lost cause.â
âWell I've never done one before!â You clamp your mouth shut after, mortified at how loud you just got.
Gojo watches you for a long moment, the amusement still there though dimmed now by something closer to curiousity. Maybe even concern if you squint.
Silence stretches between you, warm sunlight pooling across the floor, distant house noise muffled beyond the door. He looks down at his laptop on your lap then back up to your face.
â...okay.â
Your heart stumbles and you inhale sharply. âOkay?â
âIâll do it.â
âReally?â Relief overwhelms your system and your shoulders relax.
âGojo Satoru doesnât go back on his promises.â He straightens and places a hand over his heart, a mock solemn expression on his face. Before you can poke fun of his use of third person again, he continues. âBesides, I need to figure out where you stand. Let's go on a date tomorrow.â
âEager much?â
He shrugs. âRip the bandaid off. Besides, I have no other time this week, I have practice all of this week for the upcoming game.â
Though you were ready to disagree, you find yourself nodding. âOkay, tomorrow.â
âIt's a date,â he says sweetly before clapping his hands together once loudly. âSo, does that mean I'm off the hook for today? Steam is having this massive sale and I have money to spend.â
You snort. âWhat makes you think youâre free to go?â
âYou got what you wanted,â he points out reasonably. âPractice date secured so mission accomplished, right? Seems like a natural stopping point and the Steam store is calling me.â
He reaches lazily toward the laptop. You smack his hand away without hesitation.
âWell hang up because youâre failing statistics and the submission box for that technical report is waiting for you. I'm afraid youâre going to have to reschedule.â
âYou're kidding. I dragged you here and gave you nothing to prepare with, thereâs no way you'll have anything to tutor me with.â
You stretch out your arms, fingers interlaced, and listen to the satisfying pop of your joints. âWatch me.â
Night has long since settled by the time you return to your dorm. Despite his perennial sulking throughout the entire tutoring session, lips jutted out when he isnât whining, eyes drifting from the screen when youâre not giving him your full attention, he still offers to walk you back to the opposite side of the campus where the dorm houses are. Guiding him through the writing assignment was somewhat akin to extracting teeth from a little kid, but heâs surprisingly quiet when youâre talking and only chooses to complain when youâve stopped.
And by the end of it, youâre proud to announce that he has 500 words on a once empty doc that was almost ready for submission.
Hey, you did mention before that you canât create miracles.
Still, thereâs something bright in his eyes when he reads through his own work, mumbling the words under his breath. So then, when you had reached down to pick up your tote bag and call it a day, heâs on his feet almost instantly, laptop snapping shut as he follows.âIâll walk you,â he says, like itâs not even a suggestion.
The campus at night feels different, all those late nights in the library had taught you that. Itâs quieter, softened at the edges and maybe it's placebo, maybe it isnât, but the air feels fresher and time seems to slow. Streetlamps cast warm pools of light along the pathways, the winter air crisp enough to bite at your cheeks. Your breath fogs slightly as you walk, footsteps echoing in companionable rhythm.
For once, Gojo isnât talking.
He makes the occasional comment, something about how dead campus feels after dark, how he hates early morning practices, how someone keeps taking his chocolate milk from the fridge, but for some reason you donât find it so tolerable. Maybe itâs the way heâs saying it, slower and calm, nothing like before.
You steal a glance at him.
His hands are shoved into his jacket pockets, shoulders relaxed, expression softer than youâre used to seeing. Without the performative grin and constant chatter he looks less like the campus celebrity Everyone knows and more like heâs just some guy. Albeit, very attractive but you digress.Â
âYou didnât have to walk me,â you say into the silence that he hadnât immediately rushed to fill after his last anecdote.
âI know.â
âThen why are you?â
He shrugs. âJust felt weird not to. Besides, itâs late out and your dorm is half a century away. I need you alive to fix my grades, remember?â
You give him a faint chuckle and look forward again.
A few more steps pass in silence, broken only by the shuffle of feet.
âHey,â he says suddenly.
You look up, watching the light scatter over his side profile.
âThanks.â
âFor what?â
âFor today.â He kicks at a pebble on the path, watching as it skitters ahead. âFor not giving up on me after the first five minutes.â
You huff softly. âI said I'd help. And Y/N never goes back on her promises.â
He looks over at you and you both share a smile before his expression turns thoughtful. âYeah, but people say stuff all the time.â
You study him. âDo they?â
He hums and doesnât elaborate.
The dorm building comes into view ahead, lights glowing warmly through the windows. There's still a couple students drifting in and out, bundled in hoodies and coats and wearing slides, soft laughter spilling into the night.
You slow, suddenly aware that the walk is almost over. You turn to him so you can look at each other.
âYou know, youâre not as hopeless as you think,â you say quietly. âI think youâve just never pushed yourself to seriously try.â
He snorts. âThanks, real inspirational.â
âIâm serious,â you protest but the corners of your lips quirk up.
He looks at you then, properly looks, eyes searching your face with a small frown. When he canât find whatever heâs looking for, his brows relax.
âYou really think I can pass?â
âYes.â
Something in his shoulders loosens, tension easing away.
âOkay,â he breathes out. âThen, my grades are in your hands, teacher.â
You make a face. âI think I prefer sweets.â
He laughs and you turn to walk up to the entrance. The automatic doors remain stubbornly closed until you step into the sensorâs range, humming softly as they slide open. Warm air spills out, smelling faintly of old carpet and air freshener.
For some reason your feet slow.
âHey, Y/N.â
You turn, looking at him as he stands just outside the warm lobby light, hands in his pocket, shoulders slightly hunched against the cold.
âYeah?â
He hesitates.
âSee you tomorrow."
You bite your lip and nod, repeating his words softly. Then, before you can do something stupid, you turn and walk into the building. The doors close with a soft thud, sealing you inside.
Through the glass, you watch him turn and head down the path, white hair catching the glow of the streetlights. And of course, he doesnât look back.
Your reflection stares back at you instead, cheeks flushed from the cold, eyes a little too bright, heart still beating faster than it should.
Tomorrow, apparently, youâre going on a date, practice or not.
For some reason, Geto pops up in your mind and you tighten your hold on your tote bag, making your way up the stairs. The soft curve of his smile earlier this morning, the way he had said your name like it belonged in his mouth, or maybe that was just wistful thinking. But the warmth in his eyes that had nearly short-circuited your brain was most definitely real and you cling to the image.
Right, this is for him.
Your phone buzzes a little after you settle into bed that night, making you jolt. you roll onto your side and reach for your phone, pulling it free from your charger as you read through your notifications.
gojo: i made it back safe in case you were wondering ><
You get comfortable, tucking your doona under your chin as you type back, your phone the only light source in your dark room.
you: trust i wasnât worried but thanks ig
gojo: who said anything about being worried?
also donât flake on me tomorrow
iâm taking this mentorship very seriously so u better asw you: i wonât flake ik iâm already asking sm of u
gojo: oh u know do u?
so ure going to pay for our date tmrw?
you: itâs not a date
gojo: sure it isnât
you: itâs just practice
gojo: i didnât say it wasnât
but if you admitted it was a real date iâd pay yk
you: please
like iâd actually want you to pay for my coffee
not a date, not real, donât need u to pay for my drinks
gojo: ure a hard girl to please
you: if its from someone like you, its gonna be harder than just hard
try impossible
gojo: harder than hard?
you: ?
gojo: something feels wrong about that sentence for some reason
anyway
is the campus close for you or should we meet up in the city
you: the campus works for me
gojo: ure not just saying that to avoid the date allegations are you
you: no way
gojo: sure sweets i believe u
donât wear anything boring
first impressions matter yk
you: oh my god stop pushing the date allegations
its just practice !!!!
gojo: okay and you can practice dressing up for me
for suguru
like for practice
you: ?
i know what u meant
but sure
as long as u do too theres no way im embarrassing myself by showing up overdressed if u show up in sweats and a hoodie
gojo: wouldnât dream of it
see u saturday sweets
You stare at the nickname longer than you should.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard for a moment before moving.
you: goodnight gojo
The reply bubble appears then disappears before appearing again. Nothing comes of it as it disappears one more time and stays gone.
You swipe off the app and place your phone back on your bedside table, ignoring the pleasant buzz running through you.Â
You show up early like a super fan.
Youâve been sitting at the little corner table situated at the back of your favourite campus cafe for the past ten minutes now, stirring your drink just to look busy. The cafe hums around you with soft chatter, clinking spoons against teacups and ceramic against ceramic, a mellow playlist faintly playing in the background, but your nerves drown most of it out.
Youâve already gone through three mental checklists as you sit there, waiting. Your fingers curl around your empty cup, feeling the beads of water drip down your fingers and you really hope you wonât need to make an awkward break for the bathroom anytime soon considering he should be here about now.
You tell yourself youâre not nervous but you catch yourself glancing at the door every other second, heart jumping each time it swings open.
The bell chimes again and you look up with a start, eyes immediately locking onto Gojo as he saunters in, lifting his sunglasses so they rest on his head. Heâs dressed casually, a white and blue jersey over a pair of blue baggy jeans, but his good looks mold the outfit into something appropriate for a date.
Gojo spots you at his first look around and grins, sliding into the seat across.
âMorning,â he greets, a wide smile on his face. His eyes flicker down once at your empty cup. âDid you wait long?â
âNo, not at all!â You remember who youâre talking to and relax a little. âActually, I got here fifteen minutes early. I guess I got a little anxious.â
âWell, you donât need to be. You look nice,â he says, tone light. His eyes look you over once to make his words comprehensible and then one more time purely for the love of the game. âTrying to impress me?â
You scoff, trying to recover. âYou told me to dress nice.â
âCâmon, sweets. Play along. Weâre on a date, you know. Your next lines should be something like,â he suddenly tucks his elbow in, body curving to the side slightly, hand half closed and held delicately over his lips and chin. His eyelashes flutter over his cheek as he looks down and to the side, a faux shyness that makes you want to laugh. ââThank you, you look good tooâ.â
You let yourself laugh, shoulders relaxing. âWhat the fuck?â
âYou give it a try. It always works in anime.â
âNo way in hell,â you continue, laughing fading into occasional giggles as his gesture replays in your mind. âBesides, this is a practice date. I'll save that technique for the real deal, thank you very much.â
âAnd for practice, weâre going to pretend this is a real date.â He leans back into his seat, legs stretching out and bracketing yours under the table. His feet bump against yours lightly. âLet's give it another try. Did I make you wait long?â
You stir the straw inside your drink, pretending to be nonchalant, though your fingers twitch slightly against the glass. âNot long⌠I guess.â You try a mysterious act, hearing that guys like a woman with secrets. At least, thatâs what Shoko told you though a small part of you wonders if you should be taking âhow to seduce a guy 101â from a lesbian.
ââI guessâ?â he echoes, tilting his head. âThatâs the best you can do? Youâre supposed to be charming me, remember? At least try to make it look like I'm not coercing you here.â
âI donât care if I charm you or not,â you say quickly, cheeks warming. âIâm here to learn and youâre here to teach me.â
He laughs, a low, easy sound that makes your chest tighten. âYou know, I'm not exactly made of time. Do you know how many girls and guys would kill to be in your position right now?â
You resist the urge to roll your eyes though donât stop yourself from making your voice dry. âOh sure, letâs spend this entire date talking about all the competition I have.â
âWe would need at least four more dates to cover it all.â
âI didnât know getting into a relationship with you would be such an investment.â You snort. âIf all five of our dates are just going to be you listing my competition, I'd rather stand you up now and save myself the time. And the money.â
âI did offer to pay for your drinks.â He grins at the back and forth, the sides of his shoes bumping into your ankles lightly. âThatâs it, youâre getting into it.â
âFor practice.â
âSure, sweets. Practice. Speaking of,â he says, leaning forward just enough that the sunlight catches his hair. âYou should call me Satoru. Weâre on a date, remember? I canât tell if youâre on a date with me or my dad if you call me Gojo.â
You grimace. âCalling you by your first name makes it too real.â
âIt is real. Thatâs what you should tell yourself to get into this.â He juts out his lower lip, drawing his eyebrows inward. âCome on, sweets, let me hear you say my name.â
âWhen you say it like that, it makes me want to throw a drink in your face.â
âJust once, Y/N.â
You huff and roll your eyes. âSatoru.â
âOh my god, a girl called me by my first name!â He squeals.
You almost stand to get out of here if it means preventing people from associating you with him. He grabs your hand and drags you back down into your seat before you can properly escape, much to your dismay. âRelax, Iâm just playing.â
âAre you here to mess around or help me?â
âWell, you need to tell me so I can help you. What do you even know about him?â
âAbout Geto?â
âYeah, unless thereâs someone else you want to know more about?â He grins, easy and confident.
You ignore his comment. âWell, I know he⌠likes books. music. He's kind⌠thoughtful. Plays the guitar. Ah, specifically electric."
âAre you listing off whatâs on his dating profile right now?â
âShut up,â you snap, but it comes out weaker than intended.
âHe isnât actively on any dating app right now, just for your information.â
âAnd how would you know this? What are you doing on there?â
âIâm not on hinge, unfortunate for the female population, I know. We just tell each other everything,â he says, leaning back, one elbow resting on the armrest of his chair as he studies you from across the table. âIâm helping you, you know? First rule, donât just parrot his interests. Though maybe I don't have to worry about that since youâre clearly struggling to even remember them.â
âI wasnât going to parrot him.â
âI know you were,â he interrupts, wagging a finger. âLast time I checked, liking exactly what he likes does not make you compatible. It makes you predictable. And desperate.â
âOkay, harsh.â
âIt's all tough love, sweets.â
You fold your arms, slumping back in your seat, letting gravity do half the work of your sulk. âFine then, oh wise love guru. What should i say instead? Like, letâs say he asks me what I'm into and my mind goes blank like last time. What then?â
âYou're asking like itâs that difficult. Just be honest, tell him what you like regardless if it matches his interests. Do you want to be a groupie or be something more than a friend?â
âI want to be someone he likes.â
âSo you're going to play the role of Suguruâs perfect girlfriend? And what after that, genius? Are you just going to pretend forever?â
Gojo looks over to the front counter and smiles at some waitresses standing there already looking in his direction. He turns back as they start giggling and playfully arguing over who should come over to take his order.
âDonât force yourself to perform for him or curate yourself to be digestible. If the two of you are meant to be then he should want you.â
You look away, picking at nothing on your glass. âThat's easy for you to say.â
âIt's actually incredibly tiring being this emotionally intelligent all the time,â he says, face neutral.
You snort despite yourself and he looks satisfied.
âAnd what if I tell him and he doesnât like it?â
Gojo shrugs, slow and deliberate. âThen heâs not for you.â
You frown. âWow, youâre terrible at pep talks.â
One of the waitresses finally makes it to your table, an eager smile on her face and a determined look in her eyes. Behind her, you catch the rest of the staff shooting encouraging looks. She clutches her notepad a little too tightly, taking in a deep breath before talking. âHello, are you, um, both ready to order?â
âYeah,â Gojo says easily, flashing her a smile. âIâll just grab a hazelnut toffee latte with soy milk.â
The woman quickly scribbles his order down. âOf course! one hazelnut toffee latte with soy milk.â
âAnd whatever she wants,â he adds, nodding toward you.
You blink, caught off guard. âOh, I already ordered earlier. I'm fine for now, thanks.â
The waitress spares you a glance, eyes flickering briefly over you before returning to Gojo like a magnet snapping back into place. âNot a problem. Is there anything else I can get you started with today?â
âWe're good, thank you.â
Her face falls. She nods, but lingers a moment too long, clearly hoping for something, another question, a joke, anything to keep the interaction going.
Gojoâs grin grows just a little bit wider as he obliges.
âBusy today?â He asks casually, tone warm and interested.
Her face lights up and she quickly steps forward again. âA little! It's usually busy in the mornings what with the morning rush and all. Honestly, itâs like nonstop until at least 1pm.â
âThatâs brutal,â he sympathises, leaning back in his chair, posture loose and open. âAt least youâve got good coffee to survive on.â
She laughs, a bright and breathy sound that makes it clear sheâs not just laughing at the coffee comment alone. âPerks of the job, I suppose. Do you come here often?â
Gojo tilts his head as if the question deserved genuine thought and wasnât just a throwaway pick up line.
âNot as often as I should,â he decides easily. âBut I might start if the service is this friendly.â
Her smile widens, pink creeping into her cheeks. âWe try our best.â
âI was talking about you, sweetheart.â
Youâve been listening and watching with apt attention, taking mental notes on the right time to smile, when to tilt your head just so, when to tuck your hair behind your ears and when to employ the double tuck, when his last words make you frown.
You clear your throat, eyes fluttering away when both Gojo and waitress look over at you.
âWell,â the waitress starts suddenly, glancing down at her notepad like she needs to remind herself sheâs on the clock, "I'll bring your drink out as soon as itâs ready.â
âLooking forward to it,â Gojo replies, though he hasnât looked away from you yet.
She lingers half a beat longer, then turns and walks away, shoulders a little straighter than before.
âDone staring?â He teases.
âI was not staring. Don't you have the tact to not flirt with someone else when youâre on a date?â
âOh, so now itâs a date? Only when itâs convenient for you, huh?â
You reach over for a napkin and crumble it up to throw it at him. It barely makes it halfway across the table before it starts fluttering down.
âItâs only manners,â you insist, cheeks warm. âI didn't know what to do when the two of you were talking.â
He snorts. âYou couldâve joined the conversation.â
âAnd said what? "Hello, I'm also present and this jerkâs date for the day?â
âHey, I like the sound of that,â he muses.
Your next crumpled up napkin doesnât get any further than its predecessor. You glare at him, something about that conversation rubbing you the wrong way, echoing unpleasantly in your head in a way that makes you want to peel your skin off.
You clear your throat again.
âYou're here to teach me like I taught you statistics, right? Even though one is clearly harder than the other.â
âRight. Getting you to date ready is much more difficult.â
You ignore him to save the life of one napkin. âSo, how do I do that? Flirt so effortlessly and not make it cringe?â
âYou want to use what I just said with the waitress on Suguru?â He actually laughs out loud. âDo not, heâs going to see right through you. You should have met his last ex. The two of them were absolutely disgusting andâ oh wait, should I not talk about that?â
âYeah, letâs not.â
He hums and changes the subject. âAnyway, just let it happen. Be natural. You talk to me just fine.â
âYeah, but youâre you. frivolous, class clown, never takes anything seriously, probably never commits to anything,â you start listing, counting them on your fingers.
âI feel like the first thing and the last thing mean the same thing. Put one finger down.â
You refuse, still holding up four fingers. âSleeps on a mattress on the ground.â
âSo does half of Sig Kap. But relax, I get it. So you suck at flirting. Shouldnât you be happy I gave you a live demonstration of how itâs done?â
That gets you frowning again.
âDo you always call everyone something?â
âWhat does that even mean?â
âYou called her sweetheart.â
âI don't know her name. I wasn't about to call her âwomanâ, that sounds very sexist and I'm a feminist at heart. Thoughts on banning periods?â
âShe has a name tag.â
âI donât look at that area on a woman on the first date,â he pledges.
You continue without thinking.âHow is anyone supposed to know when you actually mean it when you give everyone similar nicknames?â
He goes quiet, eyes narrowing slightly. âWhat?â
Before you can elaborate, or maybe divert and make him look away so you can dig yourself out of the hole you just created, the waitress returns with his drink. She leans over him, placing it down carefully.
âHere you go!â
âThanks,â he says, polite but no longer quite as engaged. In fact, he hasnât looked away from you, still giving you that same disbelieving look.
You fiddle with your own drink. Maybe you should have ordered something else if it meant spicing up the number of objects you have in your possession to pass awkward silence with.
The waitress lingers a moment before hesitantly leaving when itâs clear thereâs no encore performance.
âI just meant itâs confusing for anyone, hypothetically,â you say in a rush, beating him. âAnyway! Flirting techniques, letâs talk about them!â
He watches you for a moment longer before dropping his head and ruffling his hair. You grimace, eyeing how close his head is to his open drink. When he looks back up, whatever conflict on his face has disappeared.
âFine, okay. Let's talk. First of all, itâs important where the date takes place. There's unspoken etiquette for every typical date location.â
âLike how you go on a coffee date, you shouldnât flirt with the waitress.â
Gojo cracks a grin. âYouâre getting it. Look, Suguru is kind of an artsy guy. He'd probably take you to an art museum or like a jazz bar for your first date.â
You narrow your eyes. âHow do you know that?â
âI told you, he tells me everything. Focus.â He dismisses your look. âHeâs kind of an enjoy-the-moment kind of guy. Probably wonât talk too much while youâre both admiring something together and saves all the talking until after when he leads you to some underground totally underrated dinner spot.â
You wince. âShit. I kind of like making little jokes in the moment.â
He snaps his fingers, face brightening. âRight? Like when youâre watching a movie in the cinemas!â
âOkay, that is a bit tricky. It depends.â
âDon't Genshin theorycraft me.â
âYou're lucky I got that reference.â
Gojo shrugs. âWell, Suguru enjoys just existing with his special someone. Don't get me wrong, he definitely talks when you get him started but I think heâs kinda cool for being able to sit in silence with someone.â
You chew the inside of your cheek. âIâm kind of bad with silences. I end up embarrassing myself just to fill them. Do you think itâs fixable? Should I just not talk?â
âWoah, slow down. Itâs fine, he has enough social awareness to fill in the gaps if youâre uncomfortable. But iâm just telling you what he likes,â he studies you. âHe doesnât like petnames, by the way.â
Heat creeps up your neck. âThatâs fine, itâs not a dealbreaker,â you mumble.
âI'm just saying. He's a real fan of using your first name. When you two get on that basis, of course.â
âAnything else, Geto expert?â
Gojo hums, taking a long sip of his latte, eyes tracking up. âHe likes meaningful stuff like art with a story behind it, long conversations about philosophy. Like yeah he still likes doing things just for fun but thereâs a difference between like and love.â
You wince. âBut love is meant to be silly, meaningless stuff. Like sending pictures of dogs cuddling because it reminded you of us or whether youâd still love each other if you turned into worms. Like taking the longer way back home just to spend more time together. Or, I don't know, building blanket forts as adults.â
Gojoâs mouth twitches.
You stop, suddenly aware you sound like youâve been storing these thoughts and theyâve suddenly all gotten loose.
âStuff that doesnât matter,â you finish weakly.
He rests his chin on his palm. âLike going to the arcade and getting plushies for each other at the claw machines?â
You laugh, shoulders relaxing. âI'd obviously do better. You look like you have no hand eye coordination.â
âDid you forget I literally play ice hockey?â
âRight, your role as the benchwarmer?â
âMy ass has never once graced those benches.â
âI don't know, I swear I remember seeing you on the sidelines.â
âYouâve come to watch me play before?â He grins, cheek slightly smushed from his position.
âBecause Shoko went.â
He juts his lower lip out. âHarsh.â
There's a few seconds of silence as the conversation replays and you feel a sudden rush of embarrassment. You look up to see if he clocked your earlier slip up but he only tilts his head more into his hand.
âWhat?â
âNothing.â You clear your throat and look down at your drink. It's left behind a ring of water around its base. âHow are you two best friends when youâre so different?â
âBecause he slows me down,â Gojo says like itâs simple. âAnd I drag him out of his head. But he doesnât need another person to do that for him so donât even think of taking my spot.â
You both share a laugh and it lingers a little longer than the joke deserves, warm and easy, until it naturally tapers off into something softer.
âWhy do you even like him?â He suddenly asks, voice soft against the murmur of the cafe.
You slowly slide your gaze out the window as if reliving the moment. You can almost feel the rain on your skin, the warmth of a hoodie not your own, and the residual laughter at the back of your throat that makes you smile.
âLast semester when it was pouring rain, he saw me waiting outside a building without an umbrella and we ended up running through the storm. Itâs stupid but it was fun and meaningless and definitely what I needed after my finals.â
Your words make him frown, finger tracing a random shape on the wet surface of his glass absentmindedly. âThat doesnât sound like him.â
âMaybe you donât know him as well as you thought?â You offer.
âDonât be ridiculous, heâs my other half.â
âAgain, should I be concerned right now?â
âAre you homophobic?â
âNo?â
âThen youâre fine.â
âWaitâŚâ
Gojo glances down at his phone and sighs. âIt's getting late, sweets. I'd love to stay longer but I promised the boys weâd go do this carwashing event.â
He pauses and looks up.
âDid you want to come?â he quickly adds on, âYou donât have to come alone, you could bring Shoko along or something.â
You wrinkle your nose. âNo thanks. You can imagine that sheâs not keen on seeing a bunch of shirtless boys.â
He grins. âSuit yourself. I'll walk you out. It's the least I can do on this date.â
You roll your eyes but stand and follow him out anyway, ducking under his arm as he holds the door open for you. Stepping out, youâre almost blinded by the bright sun and you have to cover your eyes to look up, squinting even with the shade provided by your palm.
He moves to stand in front of you. âWell, I'll see you around.â
Next tutoring session,â you remind him, letting your arm drop to your side. "Don't forget to watch the online lectures before then. And remember to do the weekly quizzes this time. Andââ
He reaches over to ruffle your hair fiercely, laughing when your words turn into a startled squeak.
âYes, yes, I got it,â
He lets you go and watches with a toothy grin as you start fixing your hair, glaring up at him and his audacity to smirk. His face quickly softens.
âSorry I canât walk you back to your dorms. I'm already running kind of late.â
âDon't worry about it,â you say when you feel like you look presentable enough. âUm, get there safe?â
âI will,â he starts stepping back. âText me if you need anything.â
âOkay, make sure toââ
âRelax, sweets, I got it,â He says with a chuckle and a wave, before he turns and starts walking off in your opposite direction.
You watch him go for a little longer before heading back to your dorm.You stare up at your ceiling. your ceiling stares back down at you. You've been staring at your popcorn ceiling for so long that youâve begun to discern shapes and different shades of what you had previously considered to be beige, plain and simple, but was now warping into the image of Gojo.
Something he had done yesterday clung to you even hours after the date. The ease in which he allowed the waitressâ fingers to brush his as he handed her the menus, the way he easily held onto your hand at the party, the lack of concern as he stood close to you on the walk back. You lift up your hands and slowly interlace your fingers. It's comfortable, familiar. until you start wondering one hand as someone else's.
Before you can doubt yourself, you pull yourself up and gather your phone and keys, heading to the door without another thought. On the way through the dorms, you send a quick text.
you: u free? im coming over
You stand outside Gojoâs door and knock. There's a muffled, incoherent reply before the door is pulled open, revealing Gojo. His hair is slightly damp with stubborn strands clinging to his forehead and heâs brushing his teeth. He's not wearing a shirt.
You stare at his chest.
âOne second,â he says around the foam in his mouth. He holds the door open a little wider and ushers you in, letting the door fall to a gentle click behind you. âSit on the couch.â
Wordlessly, you do, watching his bare back as he heads into his bathroom. The sound of water muffles your racing thoughts until he reappears, still shirtless but at least heâs not brushing his teeth anymore.
âHey,â he says, irritatingly casual. âI saw your text. You didnât even wait to see if I was free or not. For the record I am but imagine I wasn't. That would have been an awkward situation and between you and her, I would have picked her.â
You blink away your surprise and look up at him. âHer?â
âItâs a Friday night, Y/N. Youâre lucky I don't have someone over.â
You frown a little at that and he continues, heading to his kitchenette to open his fridge, pulling out two beers. He hands you one, pushing it towards you once more when you donât immediately take up his offer.
âSo, what are you doing here?â
âAre you going to put on a shirt?â
He blinks before a wide grin splits across his face. âI was wondering what you were looking at so deep in thought. I didn't want to assume again after you made a fool of me at the party but I guess you do have working eyes after all. Do you want me to put on a shirt?â
You blush, finally looking away. âObviously.â
He chuckles and places his beer down on the coffee table before going on a hunt to find a clean shirt. âBut from the way you were eyeing me it really wasnât that obvious. Besides, youâre telling me to put on a shirt in my own home?â
âIt's common sense when you have a guest over.â
His voice carries over from his room. âYouâre not really a guest, more like a pest. A guest implies I invited you over, no?â
âBut yesterday you said I could come to you for anything.â
âRight. What was I thinking?â Gojo comes back out and flops next to you, the couch dipping under his sudden weight. He takes the beer from your hands and cracks it open before handing it back and doing the same to his. âSo, you finally going to tell me whatâs up or are you just here to leech off my dwindling beer supply?â
âI donât even drink,â you mumble, watching as the water beads down your fingers.
âNo, but I do have some manners for my guest.â
âYou just saidâŚâ you trail off, recognising that youâll only go round and round in circles if you keep up this conversation. you place the beer on the floor and turn to him. âForget it. I'm here because I need your help.â
âFigures.â He holds the beer to his lips and takes a deep swig. âWhat can I do for you today?â
You bite your lip before turning to him. âCan I kiss you?â
Gojo chokes, pulling the beer from his lips with a hack, liquid spitting out onto his no longer clean shirt and sweatpants. He finally manages to get his mouthful of beer down, but he only coughs and hits at his chest. Hesitantly, you reach over and pat his back lightly.
He shrugs your touch away, looking at you in disbelief. âWhat did you just say?â
âI was wondering if youâd let me kiss you?â
âJust because youâre saying it politer now doesnât take away how crazy you sound.â He stares at you incredulously. âLook, I know we went on a date yesterday but I thought you of all people knew it was a practice date. I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. Gojo Satoru doesnât do relationships.â
You groan, rolling your eyes. âI didnât suddenly develop a crush on you, Gojo.â
âSatoru,â he corrects you despite his shock.
âSatoru,â you emphasise. âI donât like you.â
âCould have fooled me.â
âYesterday just got me thinking. Youâre so natural with touching and stuff and I realised that I have literally no experience whatsoever. I know Geto isnât the type of person to care about whether I'm a virgin or not but I care. I care because I know I'll freeze up if we ever get to that part.â
He stares at you. âWhen i asked you a few days ago about whether or not you wanted to sleep with him, you told me to shut up.â
âThat was a few days ago.â You shuffle closer to him on the couch and watch as his eyes drop to your thighs inching closer, then back up, something like fear on his face. âI know this is a big favour but I thought since youâve kissed so many girls before and theyâve never meant anything that you might be okay with this? I mean you thought we were going to kiss that time at the party. So is this really that crazy to ask?â
âYes,â he says immediately. âIt is. because you like Suguru and I'm his best friend.â
âBut this is practice.â
âYou canât just echo what I've said in the past.â He runs a hand through his hair, looking off in the distance before coming back to you. âSuguru isnât the type of person to rush to things like that. You'd be in good hands.â
âI know but this is for me. So I know what to expect.â
His face is contorted in a way youâve never seen before. You decide to give another push.
âJust think of me as one of your hookups.â
He exhales softly, eyes staring into yours. âAre you sure? Have you even thought this through?â
âYes, I have,â you lie. âI mean, there arenât any cons. I'll lose my first kiss, get experience, and itâs all under practice anyway so it wonât mean anything. And you get a hookup for the night. It's a win win!â
His face only seems to pale more at your words. âYou havenât had your first kiss yet? Fuck, thatâs a lot of pressure. And I feel like you have the wrong idea about what a hookup entails.â
You shrug. âKissing? Making out?â
âSex.â
You pause. âWell, we wonât go that far. Maybe.â
âMaybe?â He exclaims and you quickly deflect because heâs looking more and more shocked.
âWe can start with kissing.â You shift closer, your thigh pressing against his. âCome on, it doesnât have to mean anything.â
Gojo looks at you, really looks at you, from the encouraging look in your eyes to the determined line of your lips. He huffs, running another hand through his hair at the absurd change to his Friday night plans. Sure, kissing someone wasnât a big deal for him, not when heâs tasted the lips of many before, but there was something different about taking someoneâs first kiss.
Finally, he sighs, long and hard. âJust a kiss.â
You beam, face lighting up. âOf course!â
He hesitates, cursing under his breath something long but incoherent, before gently reaching out to tilt your chin up. âTell me if you change your mind. Just shove me away, okay?â
You nod enthusiastically. âWhat do I have to do?â
âJust let me take the lead for now. And if you feel confident enough to kiss back, go for it.â Again, Gojo mumbles something under his breath, the absurdity of the situation still not lost to him. He leans forward as if to seal the deal before pausing, moving his hand up to caress your cheek tenderly.
Your breath hitches, eyes wide as you curse your own touch-starved form.
âYou okay?â He asks, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. âChanged your mind?â
You shake your head slightly.
Gojo huffs and you feel the puff of air against your lips.
When his lips finally press against yours, fitting against yours in a way youâve only ever seen in movies, you feel⌠nothing. You squeeze your eyes tighter, trying to dig through the sensations and pick out the one thatâs meant to set off fireworks and melt your stomach into goo. Instead, it just feels like thereâs someoneâs lips touching yours.
Sensing your discomfort, Gojo pulls back, eyes fluttering open to meet your unsure ones. His nose scrunches up a little as he studies your expression.
âHey,â he starts, voice low. âYou're hurting my ego.â
You lick your lips, trying to return your lips to their usual sensation. âIt just wasnât what I was expecting.â
âWhat were you expecting?â
âButterflies?â
He chuckles, hand still caressing your cheek. âYou're kissing me without any feeling. Itâs not my fault youâre as stiff as a board. Relax. Imagine Suguru or something.â
Now itâs your turn to make a face. "Wouldn't that hurt your ego more?â
âJust relax,â he repeats and you make the conscious effort to focus on the way heâs stroking your face soothingly. âThatâs it. Good girl.â
âDon't call me that, I cringed.â
He laughs, leaning in. âAbandon the part of you that cringes not the part of you that is cringe.â
With that, he brushes his lips against your again, letting you feel the slow movement and determine the pace.
Itâs not exactly rocket science, this kissing business, and you start to mimic the motion of parting your lips against his. It takes a few tries for him to hum in approval and deepen the kiss, his free hand sliding up to cup your neck and gently pull you closer to him. You let out a soft squeak and quickly pick up from the momentary break in rhythm on your end.
When his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, you blanch and pull back.
âOkay,â he starts. âThat really hurt my feelings.â
âWhat was that?â You cover your mouth with your hands, the slimy sensation replaying in your mind.
âThat was my tongue.â
âWhy didnât it feel good?â
He rolls his eyes at your complaint and slides an arm around your waist, pulling you closer until youâre half on his lap. âBecause youâre thinking too hard.â
âI was not thinking at all, actually,â you say, scandalised. âI didn't know I was going to be ambushed.â
âOkay, my bad, I should have given you a heads up.â He pauses and announces solemnly, "I'm going to start using my tongue.â
You make a face and he huffs out a laugh, forehead dropping briefly against yours. Up close like this, you can feel the vibration of it in his chest, the way his grip tightens just a little like he doesnât want you getting any bright ideas about you escaping.
âYou're doing fine,â he says more softly, thumb brushing slow circles at your waist.
You think briefly that this must be the allure to him that has girls fawning for his attention. You're not immune either, and you sub consciously melt under his touch, relaxing again. Once youâve done it once, given into his temptation, itâs easy to fall back again.
âFine doesnât seem like outstanding status,â you mumble, trying to maintain some resistance.
âFor your first time, it wasnât so bad.â His nose nudges yours, playfully and coaxing and youâre in his web again. âCâmere.â
Gojo doesnât pull you this time. Instead, he just waits, one arm warm and steady around your hips, hand stroking your hair as he waits for you to come to him. It's a sign of consideration that has you feeling jittery and warm, though thereâs a lazy smirk on his lips that suggests he has other ulterior motives that makes it as infuriating as it is attractive.
Your gaze flicks to his mouth then back to his eyes. His lashes lower just slightly, watching you watch him, and something in your stomach flips over completely. Probably your common sense.
âJust⌠slower,â you mumble.
âYeah,â he says quietly. âSlower.â
He still doesnât move first which is deeply unfair, because now you have to be the brave one.
You lean in. It's clumsy at first, more of a gentle bump of noses and a too-soft press of lips than anything smooth or cinematic like he had kissed you earlier. You almost pull back in embarrassment, ready to admit that maybe he was a better kisser than you had given him credit for if itâll mean this pathetic peck of yours can end and he can make it good again, when his hand tightens on your hip and he takes over.
His mouth settles properly over yours, angle shifting until the awkwardness disappears, until it stops being babyâs first kiss and starts becoming a warm, steady pressure that has your toes curling. Yhe faint brush of his breath against your cheek, the subtle tilt of his head that fits your mouth together and when he nips at your bottom lip, a soft startled sound escapes before you can stop it.
He swallows it down without hesitation.
His hand tightens reflexively and slides down, cupping your ass as he leans back and guides you onto him, fingers pressing into the fabric of your clothes to keep you there, not that you had any plans of moving. One moment your body is twisted awkwardly to meet him and the next youâre seated full on his lap, his warmth solid beneath you.
His breath fans across your cheek in uneven bursts, warm and damp, and the faint scrape of his teeth lingers as a tingling awareness.
You realise, distantly, that youâre no longer stiff.
Your hands, which had been braced awkwardly against his shoulders, loosen without permission. One slides up into his hair as you lean into him, damp strands cool at the ends, warm near the scalp, and the sensation grounds you in a way nothing else does. His mouth opens at the sensation and when his tongue sweeps along your lower lip again, you donât pull away. It isnât slimy or invasive like last time, in fact you welcome it, mimicking his openness and the kiss deepens.
Your breath mingles, movements syncing up and under the guidance of his lips and tongue, you start getting bolder.
You shift closer, just a fraction, your head moving up and face tilting down to angle yourself deeper when a low sound slips out of him.
Your eyes fly open and you pull away. âWas thatââ
âNope,â he says immediately, eyes darker than when you last checked. He's panting beneath your palms, a slightly warm tint to his face as he stares at you.
You swallow. âYou justââ
âI didnât,â he insists, far too quickly.
When heâs so adamant like that, itâs a little hard to say anything more. Besides, while itâs almost fun to poke the bear, the memory of his mouth on yours has you thinking about something else entirely.
You donât move from his lap and he doesnât push you off.
âThink youâre getting it?â he asks, watching you with something unreadable lurking in his eyes.
You donât hesitate. âNo.â
You stare at each other, catching a much needed breath.
âAlright,â he says, voice rough. âOne more. and then we have to stop.â
You lean in and he lets out a soft sigh like a man doomed before meeting you halfway.
Gojo doesnât start slow this time, maybe because he knows if he does, he wonât be able to control himself.
His hand slides more firmly to the back of your neck, guiding you towards him with a kind of impatience, mouth finding yours with confidence, your chest tightening at the gesture. Your fingers clutch at his shirt instinctively and he makes a low noise at the back of his throat, deepening the kiss until you slide your fingers up and into his hair.
A low exhale slips through his nose, almost shaky and he tilts his head in response to your faint tugs.
âThatâs it,â he murmurs against your lips.
Emboldened, you tilt your head and slide your tongue into his mouth to taste him. He tastes like beer and minty and something addictive that has you repeating the movement over and over. When he reciprocates, your stomach swoops instead of recoiling.
You shift, suddenly desperate to get closer and settle over his bulge.
Wow.
You both jerk away from each other quickly, your hands leaving his hair and his arm retracting from your waist. The break feels violent in its suddenness, like surfacing too fast in deep water.
Cold air rushes between you where there had only been warmth seconds ago. Your lips tingle, oversensitive, parted as you drag in a shaky breath. Gojoâs chest rises and falls sharply, eyes wide in a way youâve never seen before, pupils blow dark. For once, there is no smirk, no teasing glint, just a raw, stunned awareness, like heâs trying to process several things at once and failing at all of them.
You become acutely aware of exactly where youâre sitting.
Heat floods your face and to the tips of your ears. you scramble backward, knees slipping against the couch cushions, putting space between your bodies even as the loss of his warmth makes your skin prickle.
âOh my god,â you breathe, horrified. âI didnâtâI mean, I wasn't trying toââ
âDonât,â he groans, slumping back, covering his flushed face with his arm. His other hand reaches down to adjust himself though he doesnât seem to have any ideas of covering himself so you watch unabashedly. âJust donât say anything for a second.â
You clamp your mouth shut obediently.
The room feels too small, too quiet, every little sound like the rustle of fabric or the faint hum of the fridge in the kitchenette, even your own uneven breathing, suddenly feels magnified.
Eventually, Gojo pulls himself up, fixing dark eyes on your figure.
âIâm sorry.â You rush to say, though youâre not sure what youâre apologising for.
âItâs fine, itâs not your fault. It wasn't because of you, I guess I've just been pent up,â he runs his hand through his hair and you watch as he pauses, something passing over his face before he abruptly pulls his hand away. âAnyway, itâs normal.â
You nod too fast. âRight, yes. Totally fine. Super normal, nothing weird happened.â
âRight,â he says. âNothing weird.â
Your shoulders sag a little, tension leaking out now that thatâs been cleared up. The adrenaline leaves behind a strange floaty sensation and you try, and fail, to push down the sudden desire to continue, to explore even further.
âWeâre definitely stopping the practice today,â he says, crushing your dreams.
You nod again, somewhat grateful that a decision has been made for you considering the conflict thoughts warring in your head. âOkay.â
He suddenly ruffles his hair all messy and stands up with an exaggerated groan that makes you jump. âOkay! That's over. You did good by the way. Youâre gonna be trouble when you actually start dating someone.â
You frown. âWhy?â
âIt's a compliment, sweets, learn to recognise them, yeah?â He starts walking over to his kitchenette. âWant an actual drink?â
Your brain is still somewhere back in that last kiss, struggling to catch up. âSure. Just water, right?â
He snorts. âIâm not a creep.â
When you lean back against the couch and close your eyes to recenter yourself, he steals a glance and lets out a long exhale. He closes his eyes for a moment like heâs deeply exhausted.
When he opens his eyes again and makes his way to you, his signature smirk is back.
If anyone saw how nervous you look about to text Gojo, they might think you had a crush on him. Which is absurd because you clearly have a crush on Geto.
Your thumb hovers over the send button, chewing the inside of your cheeks as you debate whether this is a good idea or not.
Itâs been a week since you first asked Gojo for advice and though his methods werenât orthodox nor was he incredible help, you still had to give him his merits. Talking to him was relaxing in a way, the constant back and forth familiar and even his judgement didnât seem to come from a bad place. The physical stuff was a whole other story and did not influence your thoughts on how you felt about him whatsoever.
In summary, Gojo has given you determination that you couldnât have achieved on your own.
Using this newfound confidence, you take a deep breath and finally hit send.
you: hey are you in class today?
Not even a full minute later, his reply buzzes.
gojo: yeah i am
stalking me, super fan?
you: god this is exactly why i hate texting u
gojo: :(
why whats up though
ur class doesnât finish until 2 right?
you: yeah how did u know that?
u sure ure not my super fan?
gojo: guilty!
i just know dont ask what u cant handle
so u gonna leave me in suspense or are u gonna tell me
you: well you have class with geto right
The inside of your cheeks starts getting a little tender as you continue to gnaw and bite at the flesh, anxiously waiting as Gojoâs typing bubbles appear and disappear.
gojo: yeah i do
you: can i come see you?
gojo: what
you: like ill come to your class but can you leave after so its just me and him
u were talking about creating these situations on saturday right
so like
wouldnt this be perfect?
gojo: god this conversation isnât good for my heart
you: ?
gojo: our class ends later than urs
you: thatâs fine i can wait !!
gojo: nah i dont feel like it
you: ?????
man what the hell you said youâd help me
gojo: and i did
on saturday
what if i want suguru all to myself today?
you: come on please???
gojo: what if i dont want to see u
you: well i wont be bothering u this time
i just need an excuse to see him
i think whatever magic u casted over me on sat worked im feeling like scarily confident
i want to talk to him before the feeling goes away
like i feel like i can really do it this time you know?
please satoru?
gojo: god u have no idea how evil u are
fine
ill get us to go to the library
you: THANK YOU@!!!!!!
gojo: u owe me
you: YES DEFINITELY
gojo: another date this friday then
you: OKAY!!!
wait what
Waiting at the library is agonising. you attempt to complete some smaller tasks for your courses that youâve left in lieu of thinking about, well, boys. But just like every time before, your thoughts stray and settle on him. His pretty effortless smiles, his soft laughter, that sparkling glint in his eyes when he looks at you and itâs like the world quietens just to listen too. his long fingers, the mole on his earlobe, his whiteâ
When your phone buzzes again an hour later, you jump up from your seat to find the location of the photo Gojo sent.
You slip into the fifth library floor as quietly as possible, scanning the endless rows of students for the familiar top of someoneâs head. It doesn't take long for your eyes to settle on him.
Gojo is impossible to miss, slouched low in a study booth, hood up and drooping over his hair and the bottom pulled up to cover his mouth. His arms are crossed over his chest as he stares at his laptop screen.
And of course, Geto sits across from him.
Taking in a deep breath, you slow your pace into something that might pass as a casual stroll as if you had randomly come upon them by chance and stop by their booth.
âOh, hi Satoru!â
He doesnât look up. âHey.â
Then, after a manual moment, you turn to Geto. âOh my god! Geto? Wow.â Your voice comes out pitched a little too loud. âWhat a coincidence!â
Geto looks up with a smile. âHey, Y/N. What are the chances we ran into each other?â
Gojo snorts and you donât miss how pointed it is. You take the chance to glare at the side of his face but he only sinks into his hoodie with a grumble. You continue to stare, even narrowing your eyes as if itâll sharpen your gaze and he finally lets out a loud groan, flipping the hood down to ruffle his hair and sit up.
âOh no,â he announces into the silence, loud enough to draw a few irritated glances, not that he cares. He checks his phone, staring at his empty notification list. âIt looks like my best friend accidentally locked himself out of his dorm.â
Geto pauses. âI'm your best friend.â
You purse your lips, watching as Gojo begins to slowly pack up his things. Granted, he only needed to close his laptop and shove it into his tote bag, without a case mind you. He refuses to look up despite your efforts to catch his gaze.
âSorry man, duty calls. I canât help that iâm such a good friend.â He stands, slinging his bag over his shoulder. When he passes by, his arm brushing against yours despite the empty space all around, he leans down to whisper, âGood luck.â
You donât have the time to decipher if itâs sincerity or sarcasm that you detect because he leaves, his lingering cologne the only sign that he was ever there.
You turn back to Geto, offering a small, awkward smile, wondering if heâs caught on.
âWhat was that about?â You laugh.
Geto chuckles softly. âSorry about him. You know how he can be sometimes.â
He looks up at you patiently.
âWell, an empty spot has opened up. Are you staying to study?â
You fight the urge to celebrate. You happily erase thoughts of Gojo from your mind, leaving the gruelling task of decoding his strange behaviour for another day. Gojoâs seat is still warm when you take it, pulling out your laptop just for the act. There was no way you were wasting this golden opportunity with actually studying, donât be silly.
âSo,â you begin, picking at the corner of your sleeve. âAny plans this weekend?â
âYou didnât hear? Satoru is having a game this weekend. Itâs just a preliminary but heâs been hyped for it. I'm sure heâd love it if you rocked up.â
You almost laugh out loud. âNo way. He'd hate that.â
Getoâs brows lift, amused. âWhy would he hate it?â
âBecause,â you say, gesturing vaguely. âWe're not really friends. More like we have a symbiotic relationship. If we didnât have that, I doubt weâd even talk to each other.â
âI don't think so,â Geto smiles at you but instead of giving you the butterflies, it leaves you feeling unsure. âBut you should come. Not by yourself, of course, I'm sure Shoko would come along.â
âIf she was going to go, sheâd just take Utahime.â You shift in your seat, throwing the idea around in your head. âEven if I wanted to, I don't think I know anyone else whoâd want to come with.â
âDo you want to go with me?â
Your brain blanks.
âWhat?â
âI was planning on going anyway,â he says, tone casual and all your senses tunnel-vision on him. âBesides, I've been curious about the girl whoâs been taking up so much of Satoruâs time.â
Your answer is obvious.
âIâd love to!â
It comes out a little too fast, a little too bright, but you canât quite bring yourself to care. Relief, excitement, disbelief, it all tangles together in your chest until the only discernable thing left is a giddy sort of lightness.
Getoâs smile widens, clearly pleased and you beam back. He hands you his phone.
âCan I have your Insta then?So I can text you the details later.â
Your hands shake as you take it, thumbs clumsy as you type in your username, backspacing more times than youâd like to admit. Youâre suddenly hyperaware of everything, the way heâs close enough to see your screen, the warmth of his hand where it had just been, the ridiculous desire to go through your own profile but through his eyes settling on your mind. Later, you can already imagine stalking your own profile, scrutinising every photo, every caption, trying to imagine what it would look like to be him scrolling through for the first time.
When he takes his phone back, he doesnât immediately pocket it. Instead, he actually looks, thumb scrolling down, humming.
Oh god, heâs looking right now.
"Where's that quote from your bio from?â He asks, glancing up briefly. âIt sounds familiar.â
âOh, um. Itâs from my favourite novel.â Your eyes flutter across his face as you tell him the title, sneaking in a quick description to try to sell it.
âIâll have to check it out then,â Geto says, putting his phone away. âDo you read often?â
âNot as much as I want to. You know how it is, with school and everything. Not to mention books are crazy expensive nowadays.â
He nods sympathetically. âThere's this small bookshop tucked away near the city. It's actually close by the rink where Satoruâs game is. I could show you after his game on Saturday.â
Your breath catches.
âAfter the game?â You repeat, trying very hard to sound normal and not out-of-breath.
Geto nods, completely at ease.
âIf youâre not in a rush to get back after,â he adds, considerate as ever. âIt says open pretty late.â
You stare at him for a second, thoughts scrambling over each other.
Heâs inviting you out after a game. That meant walking together, talking more, being alone without the buffer of a crowd screaming over a bunch of men slamming into each other and hitting with their sticks.
You realise youâre meant to give an answer and quickly hurry.
âYeah, that sounds perfect actually!â You say, a touch too fast, then wince and try again, softer. âI meanâyeah. That sounds really nice.â
âGood,â he says simply, smile deepening. âIt's a cozy place. You could get lost in there for hours.â
âThat sounds dangerous. I already have a book-buying problem."
âSecondhand prices,â he reminds you. âIt's much safer.â
You hum. âThat's debateable. Lower prices just means I have to buy more.â
You canât believe your luck. Not only had Geto basically invited you on a date to Gojoâs game, heâs also asked you to go book shopping together afterward. And somehow, you had just finished a perfectly normal conversation with him without embarrassing yourself beyond recovery.
Could things possibly get any better?
âYou know,â he starts up again and you lean in. âSatoruâs doing suspiciously good in his classes recently. Any clue why?â
You freeze, temporarily thrown off guard. âHe better be. I don't tutor him for nothing.â
âI knew it was you. Why are you tutoring him? If heâs blackmailing you, I can help,â he says with a straight face.
âNo, no! nothing like that!â You rush to explain.
He cracks a smile. âIâm just joking. He's not actually as bad as his reputation makes him out to be. It's all bad rep, you know?â
While youâve known Gojo through his reputation for as long as you can remember, youâve never once stopped to consider that might not be everything about him.
âWhat do you mean?â
âSig Kap had a frat sweetheart two years ago,â Geto explains, folding his hands loosely on his laptop. âShe was nice, really sweet but some of the older guys treated her like shit. When Satoru called some of the boys out for messing with her they werenât too happy.â
Your brows lift. âSo did they kick him out or something?â
âNot that thereâs much they could have done considering his family.â
âWhat about them?â
He glances at you surprised. âYou donât know?â
You shake your head.
âHuh.â His expression softens into something gentler. âYeah. A lot of people approach him because they want something, connections, favours, you know the deal. He absolutely hates it. Ironically, that influence is also what kept the older guys from pushing back too hard and they couldnât exactly scare him off so heâs there to stay.â
âAnd some people still donât like him?â
âSome still donât,â Geto confirms. âSo they spread all those stupid rumours instead. Probably easier that way since itâs not exactly traceable.â
Your stomach tightens. âWhat kind of rumours?â
He hesitates, then shrugs. âStuff about him sleeping around. that heâs messed with every girl on campus, that kind of thing. You donât have to look so devastated, it doesnât bother him much. If anything, it gets him more game. But itâs far from the truth. I mean youâre a girl on campus and he hasnât messed with you.â
Something about the way he says it, calm and matter-of-fact, makes your chest ache.
âHe did earn a lot of respect back,â Geto continues, oblivious to your growing distress. âEspecially from the younger guys. But some of the older ones never really got over it.â
He falls silent, studying you with that gentle, searching look that makes you feel like youâre under a microscope and the spotlight is shining down on you. Whatever he sees under the lens makes him smile.
âItâs nice,â he says softly. âThat youâre so genuine with him. He doesnât get that very often.â
The words hit like a punch to the gut. Couldn't he have used a word other than âgenuineâ? Because you arenât genuine, far from it, and that realisation makes your stomach drop, nausea blooming sharp and sudden and upheaving the contents.
You approached Gojo with a plan just like all those who have approached him with ulterior motives in the past. And youâve used him for his friendship and his willingness to help, to get closer to the person right in front of you.
You are no better than the people Geto just described. Worse, even.
Heat rushes to your face, then drains away just as quickly, leaving you cold.
You push your chair back abruptly, the legs scraping loudly against the floor.
âWhere did Gojo go?â you ask, wincing internally.
Geto blinks up at you, startled by the sudden shift. âOh, uh.â He gestures vaguely toward the exit. âHe said he had to help meâthat is, his friend unlock his door. He's probably back in his room now though.â
You nod too quickly, already stuffing your laptop into your bag with fumbling hands, cables tangling as if theyâre conspiring against you.
âAre you going after him?â Geto asks gently.
You freeze for a split second.
Are you?Here you are, sitting across from the person you supposedly like, the person you engineered this entire situation to get closer to, and youâre about to abandon the conversation to chase after his best friend. This is your chance, the perfect golden opportunity, and youâre throwing it away. and yet, you canât bring yourself to completely doubt yourself.
âYeah,â you say, half a smile hovering on your lips. âIâm so sorry. Thereâs just something I need to say to him.â
You bite your lip.
âSee you at the match though?"
Getoâs surprise melts into an easy grin. "Don't worry about it. Good luck. And Y/N, seriously, take care of him, okay?â
The words prick at your skin with a faint sense of deja vu, but you donât stop to examine it. Instead, you give Geto one last shaky smile, sling your bag over your shoulder, and hurry toward the exit. Your heart pounds so loudly it drowns everything else.Â
You knock at what you believe is his door if memory serves correct.
âGo away, I'm jerking it.â
You canât decide if heâs being serious or just scaring unwanted guests away. Regardless, you clear your throat and talk.
âSorry for interrupting? Look, itâs me, itâs Y/N. Can I come in?â
No sooner had you said your name, the door flies open, Gojo standing right behind, eyes wide and face flushed.
âY/N? What are youâI mean, I thought you had that date with Suguru?â He goes to run a hand through his hair but pauses, switching to his other hand.
âYeah well, clearly I left him to come see you.â You sigh deeply and brush past him into his room. âThereâs something I need to say to you and itâs really eating up at me for some reason.â
âNo sure, go ahead. Walk right in,â he mumbles but doesnât try to stop you, instead closing the door gently. âWhat are you doing here? Because if youâre here to gloat or have a girl talk, Shoko is the one for you.â
You flop onto his couch, staring up at his ceiling. He pauses before following, the couch cushions dipping under his weight as he drops down beside you.
âGojo, Iâm really sorry,â you say, turning to him.
He stares back unamused. âI told you to call me Satoru.â
You blink, momentarily caught off guard before correcting yourself. âSatoru. I'm really sorry.â
âOkay.â His frown lifts and he leans back to look at you. âAbout what?â
You open your mouth, then close it again, suddenly unsure where to even start.
âAbout everything?â You try weakly.
He raises a brow. âThat narrows it down.â
You groan, dragging a hand over your face. âOkay, specifically I feel like I've been using you and being annoying and dragging you into my mess. And also I abandoned you in the library which was rude and I donât know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't and I'm really sorry.â
Gojo blinks at you and you hold your breath for the verdict.
â...thatâs it?â
âThatâs not âitâ, thatâs a lot,â you argue, pushing yourself up. âYou've been helping me this whole time and I'm just barging into your life, asking for unreasonable favors and taking up your time.â
He watches you for a long moment, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes, surprise, confusion, maybe even something softer that he quickly buries under a flippant expression.
âThat's it?â he repeats, slower this time.
You nod, twisting in your fingers together in your lap, the fight leaving your body as quick as it came. âI mean, it's not nothing. I know I've been a lot. And you didnât have to help me at all, with any of it, but you did and IâŚâ Your voice falters. âI don't want you to think I was just⌠using you.â
Silence settles between you, thick but not entirely uncomfortable. The hum of his mini fridge in the corner fills the gaps. Somewhere down the hall, a door slams and laughter echoes faintly before fading.
Gojo exhales through his nose and leans back, head tipping against the couch cushion as he stares up at the ceiling.
âYouâre terrible,â he mutters.
He turns his head to look at you properly, blue eyes sharp in a way that makes your chest tighten. Up close like this, without the buffer of banter or crowds or motion, itâs impossible to ignore how intense he can be when he isnât performing for anyone. You've had the privilege to see this side of him a few times, and the thought that heâs let you in and youâve only gone and used him fills you with more guilt.
âYou didnât abandon me in the library,â he continues. âI left on my own free will, remember?â
âYeah butââ
âAnd youâre not using me,â he adds, voice flattening slightly. âIf you were, then you arenât using me to my full potential.â
You huff a weak laugh. âThanks?â
âI mean it,â he says, not smiling. âPeople who use others donât show up at their door looking like theyâre going to throw up from guilt.â
Heat creeps up your neck. âI did not look like that.â
âYou did,â he says easily. âStill kind of do.â
You shove his shoulder lightly. He barely moves, solid as ever, but the corner of his mouth lifts and the tension in your chest loosens at the sight.
âSo⌠youâre not mad?â You ask carefully.
He considers that more seriously than you expected. âI was.â
The worry comes back tenfold.
âBut not for the reason you think. So stop looking like youâve aged ten years, sweets, itâs not a good look on you.â
You wait for him to elaborate but he doesnât.
You sigh, unable to keep up with the emotional whiplash and opt to instead throw it all away.
âOkay, well thatâs cryptic," you mutter.
He shrugs. âI'm a mysterious guy. Itâs all part of the irresistable, untouchable charm.â
âI donât see how you can be mysterious when youâre so loud.â
âI open up to you and this is what I get?â
âYou did not open up.â
He turns his head back toward the ceiling. âAnd now I'm closing back down.â
You roll your eyes, but the knot in your chest has loosened enough that you can breathe again, you almost miss this back and forth and it seems he does too because he relaxes fully into his couch. Without thinking, you mimic him, shoulder brushing his. This time, neither of you moves away.
The proximity feels different than before. You've been closer to him than this, and you randomly recall being on his lap for some reason unrelated to this specific moment and the charged, quiet atmosphere.
After a moment, he speaks again, softer.
âDid you at least get what you wanted?â
You hesitate, the question knocking you out of orbit. âI think so. I mean he asked me to go to the game with him. and then a bookstore after.â
Gojo goes still beside you.
âMy game?â He shakes his head with a scoff. âFigures. Well, good for you.â
You twist the fabric of your sleeve between your fingers, suddenly unsure why that answer feels so unsatisfying.
âYeah,â you say anyway, forcing brightness into your voice. âIt is good.â
He hums noncommittally, eyes still fixed somewhere on the ceiling. For someone who never shuts up, his silence feels louder than anything he could say. You sneak glances at him from the corner of your eye, observing the strong curve of his nose, the harsh bob of his Adam's apple, the rise and fall of his chest and his big hands youâve had the opportunity to feel on your ass.
The quiet stretches, though it is far from quiet inside your head.
Then, before you can stop yourself, youâre already opening your mouth.
âCan I ask you something?â
His gaze slides to you instantly, sharp and attentive as if he was waiting for you to break the silence first. âNot to be that guy but you just did.â
âA real question.â You roll your eyes though his somewhat predictable rage bait helps ease some tension. Still, you hesitate, throat tight. If you say it out loud, it becomes real and no longer a suppressed fantasy. But if you donât say anything, this feeling in your chest might never go away, tainting every future you might have with Geto.
âHow do you know what youâre doing?â You ask.
One white brow lifts. âIn what context? I'm good at a lot of things. You're gonna have to narrow it down, sweets.â
You groan softly. âWith girls. With⌠touching. And stuff. Etcetera.â
Understanding dawns slowly, then all at once. You donât catch the shift in experience because you stare stubbornly at your hands clasp in your lap, heat flooding your face.
âOh.â
âI just donât know,â you admit, voice small. âI don't know what I'm doing at all and itâs embarrassing.â
He sits up a little, attention sharpening in a way that makes your skin prickle.
âY/N.â
You press on before he can interrupt. âI mean, I know theoretically, obviously. That's what bio class is for right? But I know in practice Iâll just freeze. Or overthink or do nothing. And if things ever go further with Geto, I don't want to be useless. You mentioned heâs had exes before, right? But I haven't. And that kind of sucks to think about.â
Then softly. âYou're probably the closest thing to experience I have.â
âUseless,â he starts. âIs not the right word I'd use. Suguru would never think that. Heâs not a dick.â
You finally look at him. âI donât want him to regret it. Or think I'm awkward. or that I don't want him.â
He studies you for a long moment, jaw tight, eyes searching your face like heâs looking for something he hopes not to find. âAnd youâre telling me this becauseâŚ?â
You scoff. âYou're not stupid. I mean sure, you almost failed babyâs first statistics but youâre not dumb.â
âNo, I guess I'm not, thanks,â he sighs, running a hand through his hair. âBut I was kind of hoping maybe I'm still fantasising.â
âYou were fantasising before?â
âLet's not go there.â
âItâs a Friday,â you say slowly. "Shouldn't you have a hook up right about now?â
He pouts, looking oddly down. âI wasn't feeling like it.â
âSo you had to use your hand.â
âI wasn't jerking off, Y/N.â
Neither of you believe that statement. Here you are, sitting on the couch of campus heartthrob Gojo Satoru, joking around about the lack of a female body against him while youâre upset about being a virgin. Even Gojo, who isnât admittedly the best at math, shouldnât struggle with putting two and two together.
âRight, I believe you.â You bite your lip, opening your eyes wider as you plead. âI just hate feeling unprepared. Youâve seen just how bad I freeze. Canât you help me?â
He chews on his lips aggressively before finally groaning, running a hand down his face. âYou have the worst ideas known to man. Fine. I'll help you. But we're stopping if it gets weird.â
âObviously.â
âDo you even remember how to kiss?â
âFind out for yourself.â
You grab his collar and tug him towards you, smacking your lips against his the second heâs in range. It's not the graceful, fireworks-exploding moment from rom-coms, more like two magnets clashing awkwardly, teeth bumping before you recall the right angle. Gojo chuckles into the kiss, the vibration tickling your mouth, and you pull back just enough to glare at him.
âIt hurts that you donât remember my lessons, sweets,â Gojo purrs, clearly enjoying your fluster.
âShut up and kiss me properly,â you mutter, snarky even as your cheeks burn.
You dive back in, and this time it clicks, most likely due to his more active participation. Your lips move in sync, his tongue slipping past your teeth. It's surprisingly nice, all heat and shared air, making your stomach flip in a way thatâs equal parts nerves and excitement. You didnât realise how much you were craving this since the last time.
Gojoâs hands stay loose on your waist, respectful but firm, until he deepens the kiss with a low hum. You feel him shift under you, his body reacting before his brain catches up. When you break apart for air, his eyes are darker, pupils blown wide. He adjusts his hips, and thereâs no missing the semi-hard bulge straining against his jeans because it nudges insistently against your inner thigh.
You both look down.
âUh, yeah,â he says, voice a little rough, something like accusation in his eyes as he glares down at Gojo junior. âGuess that means you do remember lesson one after all. Mind if I lose the pants?â
You snort, trying to play it cool despite the heat pooling in your gut. âNot so reluctant now, huh?â
âGame is game.â
He grins, all cock swagger, and pops the buttons off his jeans. They slide down his legs in a heap, leaving him in snug black boxers that do nothing to hide his growing interest. Gojoâs leaner than youâd pegged him for, abs carved from lazy gym sessions, waist dipping in before flaring to solid shoulders. But your eyes zero in lower, where his cock twitches half-hard against the fabric, outlining a decent length thatâs got you curiously intrigued rather than intimidated.
When he sits back down, he leans back on his palms and smirks. âYou can touch me, you know. I bet itâs better than just looking.â
âAnywhere?â
âI'm practically offering myself up to you on a platter. Yes, Y/N. Everywhereâs fair game.âÂ
You eye him for a little longer. He's not as big as he carried himself around to be.
As if sensing your unspoken realisation, he hurriedly explains, "I'm not completely hard yet.â
You nod, sympathetically. âRight, no I get it.â
âIâm serious, Y/N, stop looking at me like that.â
He grabs your hand and places it on his abs, ignoring your sudden squeak.
âYouâre going to have to work to get me there.â He watches as you hesitate, his heartbeat quickening slightly under your touch.
âThis seems less like teaching and more like you just wanting someone to get you off.â
âYouâre learning.â Despite his teasing tone, he eases you closer to him. âLook, itâs not exactly rocket science and what I tell you probably wonât apply to everyone. But most guys are animals so if you can make them feel good then thatâs all that matters. What's meta for most guys though is probably their neck and lower stomach. But you can start anywhere.â
His smirk falters just a tad when you explore, tentatively at first, palms sliding over his ribs and thumbs brushing his nipples until they pebble under your touch. Gojoâs breath hitches, but he keeps it together, murmuring encouragement. âI guess you could try there too. Fuck, this is kind of embarrassing. Canât you be normal and go at my neck or something?â
âYour neck?â Your fingers slide up to touch him there but he laughs and gently brushes your hand away.
âOkay, donât strangle me. When I say touch, I don't just mean with your fingers. You can touch your lips too, canât you?â
You bite your lips and nod, wetting them quickly with your tongue. You lean in closer, your lips finding the pulse point of his neck. It's a quick peck at first, testing, and he just arches a brow, unimpressed.
Fine, challenge accepted.
You brace yourself on his shoulders and lick a slow stripe up the tendon, tasting salt and faint cologne which isnât the best tasting thing in the world, so you nibble the skin. Gojo hums, head tilting to give you better access, and you dive in, sucking lightly, alternating with kisses that leave faint marks.
Itâs heady, this rush of control. His bare chest radiates warmth against your arm, heavy breaths ghosting your ear as he lets you lead.
âHungry, are you?â Gojo finds his footing against the absurd situation because if thereâs one thing he knows, itâs receiving attention from pretty women. If he closes his eyes like so, focusing only on the cute licks against his neck, he can almost ignore the fact that itâs coming from you. âI'd be careful not to leave any marks. Girls get jealous easily, you know?â
You roll your eyes at his very unsexy comment. He's underestimating you, youâre sure he is, and youâre even more determined to prove him wrong.
You kiss down his neck, licking at the column of his neck, and when you find this soft patch of skin, pale under your lips and glimmering with a thin layer of sweat, you do what your instincts roar at you to do and bite him as heâs mid yapping.
âI never really let girls kiss me like this, so be grateful that Iâohfuck!â
Gojoâs reaction is immediate as a downright sinful moan escapes his pretty lips unchecked. His hands tighten in your hips, head dropping forward, panting as he catches his breath from the sudden sharp inhale.
You let go, licking at the mark left behind. âOh, sorry. You donât do marks, right?â
âThat wasâŚâ He trails off, eyes dark as he holds you in his gaze. âJesus, sweets, where did you even learn that kind of stuff?â
You shrug, letting him hold you back and feeling a little bit like a rabid animal. âIt was just something I wanted to do. Was it bad? Did it hurt?â
âNo, it was fine. Keep going just⌠use your hands a bit more too,â he hurries to add on, clearing his throat and loosening his hold on you. âIt feels better if you use both your mouth and hands at the same time. Keep going, but donât forget the rest of me.â
Finding no error in his words, you enthusiastically go back to kissing and sucking on his neck, tasting the salt of his sweat. Meanwhile, you slide your hands down his chest, marveling at how smooth he feels despite his muscle.
When you graze your finger tips between the medial line of his abs, you feel him shiver and you detach your lips from his neck to watch his eyes track your every move, hungry and unblinking.
âAtta girl,â he rasps, abs flexing under your palm and he shivers as you slide even further down, hand hovering his stomach. His cock visibly thickens in his boxers as you trace the ridges of his abs.âThatâs it. Take your time, sweets. I'm not going anywhere.â
You never considered that Gojo would be so vocal during sex, not that this even counted as sex yet. If anything, that made you even more curious, wondering if he himself knew how much he was talking and how little any of it even meant. In case he didnât, you didnât dare talk in case it would break the spell.
Your fingers skim the waistband of his boxers and he sucks in a breath, voice dropping an octave.
âFuck, yeah. Thatâs the spot.â The fabric tents fully now, his cock hard and straining, the tip outlined clearly. It's thicker than you expected, pulsing with need, and the sight sends a thrill straight to your core.
Gojoâs eyes flick between your hand and your face, flushed and focused. âSee? told you itâd wake up. want to see all of it?â
You nod, eyes trained on his bulge.
He grins, taking your hands to hook your thumbs into the sides of his boxers. He helps you slightly though he lets you do most of the work. Emboldened, you tug the boxers down just enough to free his cock, watching it spring up, thicker now, veins prominent along the shaft, the head flushed and glistening with a bead of precum.
Your first words are, of course, very sexy.
âOh damn.â
Gojo laughs breathlessly. For my own ego, I'm going to take that as a good thing.â
âIt just doesnât look how I expected it to.â
That makes him frown. He ducks his head to meet your gaze. âHey. She has feelings too, you know. Donât imply that sheâs ugly, sheâll sag.â
âShe?â It's so ridiculous you snort, the nervousness running away to let curiousity fuel your movements once again, fingers curling around his hot, velvety length. He's rock hard under your soft touch, precum slicking your palm as you pump him experimentally. Gojo groans low in his throat, head falling back against the couch.
âShit, just likeânghâthat,â he grits out, voice wrecked. The sound hits you like a spark, raw and primal, making your thighs clench. âMyâmy dick has she/her pronouns. Itâs 2026 now, get woke.â
Still looking at you, he takes your hand again, wrapping it around his shaft.
âHold it properly. Feel how hot it is.â
He groans softly as you hold him, guiding your hand up and down in a slow stroke, pressing down where heâs sensitive just the way he likes it. âSqueeze gently and twist your wrist as you move.â
He demonstrates the twist motion, his large hand enveloping yours, precum beading at his tip from both the sight and feel of you.
He lets you go, leaning back on his elbows, enjoying the view of you jacking him off. âYouâre a natural, keep going, just like that.â
His breathing becomes heavier, his abdomen tensing. He canât help but buck slightly into your hand.
Despite his unattractive dirty talk, it doesnât drive away the power you feel and it doesnât take away from the sounds, the way his body trembles under your control. It's all so intoxicating, way better than any awkward fumble youâve imagined with Geto late at night with your hands down your pants.
To shut him up, you squeeze a little tighter and he hisses, pulling you away.
âSlow down,â he pants, catching his breath. He closes his eyes for a moment before locking you in a fierce gaze. âDo you usually shove your finger inside when youâre dry?â
âWhat?â
âThis is why lube exists, woman. God, my poor lady,â He looks up at you, eyes trailing down from your eyes to your lips.
âPlease donât refer to your dick as a lady.â
âIâve gotten no complaints so far.â Gojo reaches up, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, dragging it down slightly. âHave you ever spat on anyone?â
âExcuse me?â You look down at him as if heâs grown another head.
He lets out a strangled groan, hips bucking up under you. âYeah, keep looking at me like that and spit on my dick. Give her the good old hawk tuah.â
Your grimace only grows and he bites his lip, the corners quirking up. âPlease,â he whispers and youâve lost.
The word hangs between you like a dare, his blue eyes locked on yours, all wide and pleading in a way that clashes hilariously with his usual attitude if the unsure quiver to his lips didnât wreck you.
Gojoâs cock throbs in your loose grip, the head leaking more precum that drips down the shaft, making your fingers slick without even trying. You hesitate, face heating up at the sheer audacity, but the way his abs tense, the subtle roll of his hips begging for more, chips away at your resistance.
âFine,â you mutter, rolling your eyes to mask the flutter in your stomach and you must have imagined the way he groans. âBut just know Iâm judging you the entire time.â
âEven better,â he moans.
You lean over him, one hand steadying on his thick thighs, firm muscle under smooth skin, and purse your lips as you spit on him. Itâs awkward as hell, the glop of spit landing off-centre on the underside of his shaft, but you smear it around with your palm.
The glide turns smoother instantly, wet and filthy, your strokes picking up speed as his cock slicks up fully.
Gojoâs reaction is immediate, a deep, rumbling moan spills from his chest, his head knocking back against the couch with a thud, not that he notices. âFuuuck, yesâthatâs it, just like that.â
His hands fist the fabric of the couch on either side of his hips, knuckles white, like heâs fighting not to grab you and take over. But he doesnât, he lets you work him, hips jerking up in shallow thrusts to meet your rhythm, the tip bumping your palm on every upstroke.
âKeep going, tighter⌠shit, youâre killing me here.â
The power rush hits you harder now, watching him come undone under your touch. His cock feels massive in your hand, thick and veined, pulsing hotly as you pump from base to tip, thumb swiping over the slit to collect more precum and spread it down. You can feel every ridge, every twitch, and itâs nothing like the vague fantasies youâd spun about Geto. This is real, messy, and way more intense. Your own arousal builds, thighs pressing together as you grind subtly against nothing, the heat between your legs turning insistent.
âDoes it⌠feel good?â You ask, voice breathy and you slow your strokes just to tease, squeezing the base and watching in awe as a fresh bead of precum pearl at the head.
He cracks one eye open, gaze hazy and dark, lips parted in a pant. âGood? Sweets, donât sell yourself short.â
A grin tugs at his mouth but it falters into a groan when you resume, faster now, the wet schlick of your hand echoing in the room causing you to squirm.
âDonât stop,â he all but whines. âGonna cum if you keep this up. Want me to, sweets? Want me to paint your hand or what?â
The crudeness should turn you off, but it doesnât, it only amps up the thrill, making you bold. You nod, biting your lip as you lean closer, free hand bracing on his chest to feel his heart hammering.
âYeah, do it. cum for me.â
Gojoâs control snaps like a rubber band. his moans pitch higher, body arching as his cock swells in your grip, veins bulging. âFuckâfuck, canât help it, Iâm gonnaââ
He bucks hard once, twice, and then heâs erupting, thick spurts of cum shooting from the tip to splatter your fingers, his stomach, even a streak across his abs. It's hot, sticky, rope after rope as you milk him through it, not knowing what else to do. You slow your strokes until heâs spent, twitching sensitively in your palm.Â
He slumps back, chest rising and falling like he ran a marathon, a lazy, disbelieving laugh bubbling out. He runs a hand down his face, groaning softly.
âI amâŚâ He lets out another breathless laugh, head dropping back against the armrest of the couch. âSo fucking washed. What the hell was that, sweets?â
You blink, a little dazed yourself. Your hand is still loosely wrapped around him, slick and messy, and only when his eyes flick down do you jolt and snatch your hand back like youâve been burnt.
âIâI donât know,â you mumble, gratefully accepting the tissue he hands you, awkwardly deciding to dab at his stomach and abs too, anywhere your eyes can safely land that isnât his softening cock. âThat was⌠hey, wait a minute. Shouldnât i be asking you? What the hell was that spitting thing?â
He shrugs, your body moving with the motion as you remain on his lap. âI told you, thereâs some things some guys like and some donât. As a note of reference, maybe donât spit on Suguru. Youâll kill his ego.â
He has the audacity to smirk at the thought considering the state of him, hair a mess, cheeks flushed, mouth pink and kiss-swollen from all the swearing and groaning.
âYou're disgusting,â you accuse weakly, trying not to think about how heâd looked under you a few seconds ago, jaw slack, eyes glazed, like youâd wrung the soul out of him.
âMmm.â His gaze drags over your face, down the line of your throat, lingering a beat too long at your chest before he drags it back up. âSo, how are you feeling after all that?â
âEmbarrassed,â you say immediately.
âBut kinda turned on, too?â he guesses, just as fast.
Your mouth drops open. âI did not say that.â
âDonât have to,â he says, maddening. âYouâre still sitting on me, you know.â
You freeze. You're still straddling his lap, knees planted on either side of his thighs on the couch, hips pressed to his, fingers bunched at his stomach. You'd be so focused on that scrunched up look on his face when he came that you kind of forgot to be mortified about the position.
Now you remember.
âI was busy,â you mutter, shifting like youâre about to climb off.
His hands come up automatically, one at your waist, one braced at your hip, holding you there without quite pulling you back down. âHey, hey. I didn't say you had to move.â
âBut youâre allâŚâ you wave a hand vaguely at his lap, face burning. âPost-nut clarity or whatever. You should be resting or something.â
âThatâs hilarious, do you think Iâm an old man?â He huffs a laugh. âIf my stamina lasted one puny handjob I would never show my face anywhere. Hey, donât glare at me like that. you know what that does to me. you glaring at me and spitting on my cock while you jerk me offâfuck.â
âDon't say it like that,â you hiss, heat flooding your chest. âYou literally told me to.â
âAnd you did so good,â he croons. âLook at you, all flustered now. You were seconds away from calling me pathetic, you know.â
âHow are you turning this on me? Youâre the one that liked it,â you shoot back, shoulder tensing.
His fingers flex at your waist, like heâs remembering it. âYeah. I really, really did.â
The way he says it sends a tiny shiver through you. You feel ridiculously aware of yourself suddenly, of your damp palms on his chest, of the way your thighs are pressed around him, of the restless thrum under your skin youâve been trying not to notice since he first groaned for you.
You shift again, intending to put some space between you, and hiss as the movement drags you a little too firmly against him, sparking through the ache low in your belly.
You go very still and so does he.
His eyes flicker, dropping for a fraction of a second to the point where your hips meet his. You can feel the change in him, no longer wrecked and loose-limbed, but sharpened like heâs honing in on every tiny flinch.
âOh,â he says softly. âFeeling something, sweets?â
âDonât start,â you warn, feeling every urge to catapult yourself off his lap. His hand tightens on your waist, thumbs rubbing absent circles, maddeningly casual. âCan you let me go already?â
âBut itâs not over yet, are you sure you want to miss the best part? If I said I wanted to make it your turn, would you say no?â
The question hangs between you, heavier than his usual teasing.
âThis isnât⌠about that.â
âSure it is,â he whispers, lips curved into a wicked grin. âYou wanna learn how to make a guy feel good right? Then you also need to know what you like. If you know what works for you, itâs easier to tell him what works for him.â
Has Gojo always been so reasonable?
âBesides,â he continues when youâre not rushing to sign up to his touch. âIâm being selfless here. You canât seriously think I'd let you walk out of here without repaying the favour first, right?â
âWay to sound like a douche.â You swat at his chest, a weak attempt to appear levelheaded.
âHow else am I supposed to say it?â He laughs softly, catching your wrist but not pushing it away, thumb stroking over your pulse. âI want to touch you. properly. Can I?â
Your stomach swoops.
âJust to know what it feels like?â
âExactly.â His smile goes crooked at the edges. âNow youâre getting it.â
You stare at him, breathing shallow. Your heart is thudding way too fast. youâre hyperaware of your own body again, of the way your panties stick uncomfortably, of the restless ache thatâs only been getting worse, of how easy it would be to fall into his tempting embrace.
âHey, come back to me,â Gojo murmurs. âWe don't have to do anything you donât want. I promise I'm not a dick. So? What do you want, sweets?â
You look down at where his hands rest, big and warm on your hips, fingers flexing like heâs trying very hard to stay put.
You could say no, you know that. He'd let you hop off, probably make a dumb joke to break the tension, and the both of you can go back to pretending the constant physical touch is driving you up the wall. But you also know your legs are still a little unsteady, and that every time you shift you have to bite back a sound you really donât want him to hear.
You swallow, hard.
âYou have to listen,â you say finally. âIf I say stop, you stop. and none of your stupid comments either.â
His expression sobers instantly, hands jumping a little at your hips. âPromise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.â
âIâm telling you, when you say shit like that, everything goes back inside.â
âYeah, yeah, I get it, you want me quiet. So can I touch you or are you going to keep torturing us both?â
âYou deserve the torture,â you grumble, then quieter, âBut, yeah. okay.â
He hums. âNot good enough. Say it again?â
You bite back a complaint. âI want you toâŚtouch me.â
It comes out barely more than a whisper, but it hits him like a truck. His eyes darken, lashes lowering as he sucks in a breath. One moment youâre straddling him, the next heâs sat up and turned you around so your back leans against his chest, his breath tickling your neck.
âYou donât know what you do to me,â he groans, hands sliding down to your stomach. His fingers play with the hem, nails barely grazing your bare skin. âCan I?â
You shiver, looking down to watch his hands with anticipation. Swallowing, you brace yourself and nod.
âGood girl,â he breathes.
His hand trails under your shirt, fingertips tracing nonsense shapes on your skin. He doesnât go straight where you know youâre aching for him to go. Instead, he takes his time, mapping out the sensitive spots he finds, where your muscles jump when he squeezes, lowering his hand to where your breath stutters when he drags his knuckles along the inside of your thigh.
âYou're wound so tight,â he murmurs, half to himself. âRelax for me, Y/N.â
âShut up and stop teasing,â you hiss, and then gasp when his hand finally slips higher, brushing over the edge of your waistband.
âIs that a no?â He asks instantly, stilling.Â
]You want to throttle him. âIâm just⌠nervous.â
âOf course you are,â he says, voice going stupidly soft in your ear, hands playing with the fabric. âThe first timeâs always weird. But it doesnât have to be bad-weird.â
He slowly slips his hand under the band, feeling you go still.
âHey.â He presses his lips to your hair, mumbling soft words of praise. âYou're okay, youâre doing good. Just breathe for me.â
You do, albeit shakily, his fingertips brushing the damp centre of your panties.
âYouâre already⌠Jesus," he says quickly. âI really did a number on you, huh? And without even touching you, too.â
âIf you donât shut up, I'm leaving,â you threaten weakly.
He chuckles, guiding your attention away. Gojo slides your shorts down so you can see exactly where his fingers press against, a rush of heat flooding your cheeks at the sight of his thick fingers prodding against the backdrop of the panties you chose out this morning. If you knew something like this would happen, you would have worn something else.
Gojo thankfully doesnât comment on it. Instead, he slowly explores, no sudden movements, no overwhelming pressure, just the occasional slide against your clit.
âOkay?â he asks, and you realise youâve gone silent, holding your breath again.
âYeah,â you gasp. âJust feel different thanânevermind.â
âDifferent good?â He prompts, thumb pressing down on your clit and you jolt, an audible inhale escaping you.
You feel his arms tighten around you.
âOh, there we go,â he mutters, sounding ridiculously pleased with himself. âThat got you.â
You donât dignify that with an answer, not that you have the capacity to because the next moment, heâs moving his fingers with practiced purpose. His thumb circles your swollen clit through the damp fabric, the barrier muffling any sharp pleasure though it helps you wrap your head around the sensation.
When you start lifting your hips to meet his touch, he knows he has you where he wants you.
With his other fingers, he slowly slides your panties to the sides and touches you directly. The effect is immediate, your eyes snap down to watch, body tensing, want like youâve never known it before shocking you.
The sight of your own arousal makes you wetter and he abandons his touch to touch you directly.
âLook at that,â he coos in your ear, voice breathy with awe and smug satisfaction. âHere you were acting like you wanted to leave when youâre this wet. Thought I wouldn't know, sweets? That I couldn't see you eye my dick all hungry like that?â
He emphasises his words with a harsh pinch of your clit and your head falls back to rest on his shoulders with a filthy moan ripped from your throat, raw and unprocessed.
Gojo takes the chance to kiss your neck.
You should hit him for his words, you really should. But instead, your hand flies up to his forearm, nails digging in when he slides a finger to circle your entrance and the world briefly whites out.
He groans quietly, like your reaction is doing something to him. âThatâsâfuck, youâre so cute. Do that again.â
âDonât tease,â you say again, voice barely there and brain too mushy to think of something original.
And like he knows, Gojo slowly slides a finger into your pussy and the pressure temporarily pushes out all of the pleasure. But then his free hand is playing with your clit and heâs telling you how good you are and how pretty you sound, and it comes back.
He thrusts that finger in and out slowly, letting you adjust to the intrusion and when youâre sighing soft moans and broken demands again, he curls it and doesnât stop moving. He could easily overpower you, could pin you down and take, take, take, but he doesnât. Every time you tense like you might pull away, he backs off just enough, murmuring at your ear, though by the time youâre close you havenât panicked in a while.
Heâs the one breathing hard when you start to chase your peak, like heâs the one being touched.
Youâre writhing now, his arms having to tighten around you to keep you still as he slides another finger inside.Â
âThatâs it,â he whispers, panting when your thighs clamp around his hand, head tipped back on his shoulders and eyes starting to roll back. âThere you go. I've got you. Let go for me, yeah? Doing so good for me, sweets.â
âS-Satoru,â you choke out, the name ripped from somewhere deep.
His whole body jolts behind you and you feel a twitch near your ass.
âOh, fuck,â he groans, like youâve done something filthy. âSay my name like that again, I swear to godââ
You donât because suddenly, youâre gone.
His fingers pressed against the spongy spot inside, his thumb circling your clit, and suddenly everything tightens then snaps and youâre tumbling, shaking around the steady anchor of his hand and his arm and his voice in your ear. He doesnât speed up, letting you ride your orgasm on his hand, mumbling sweet nothings against your sweaty neck.
Itâs messy and overwhelming and a little scary for a second, then his palm is flat over your lower stomach, grounding you as waves of sensation roll through your body. His other hand finally gentles and you can breathe again.
When you finally slump back against him boneless, the room feels dimmer. your chest heaves, skin prickling with aftershocks that he guides you through.
He eases his hand away and wipes it on his pants, keeping you steady on his lap.
âHey,â he says softly, lips brushing your hairline. âYou still with me?â
You nod, or at least you try to. âI think so.â
âYeah?â He presses, smiling against your skin.
âYeah.â
âGood.â he exhales like heâs been holding his breath with you. âYou did amazing, sweets.â
âYou're making me sound like a dog.â
âWell, you were very obedient,â he says lightly, then winces. âOkay, that sounded kinda bad.â
He huffs a quiet laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest where youâre still half-leaning against him. One of his hands comes up, hovering for a second like he isnât sure if touching you again is allowed, then settles gently at your side.
You catch your breath, stealing a glance. His hair is a mess, cheeks flushed, eyes still blown wide but thereâs something softer around the edges, so different from his usual cocky composure that it does something strange to your chest.
âYou're the worst,â you mumble, just to say something.
âOh?â his brows lift. âYou seemed pretty satisfied with the lesson.â
You keep your mouth shut because there is absolutely no winning that argument.
Silence falls, not heavy nor awkward, but certainly unfamiliar. Without the distraction of movement or adrenaline, your mind starts spinning into the consequences of your actions.
And the fact that youâre still sitting between his thighs.
You stiffen and he notices immediately.
âUh. Do you⌠want toââ
âYes,â you say at the exact same time he says, âWe should probablyââ
You both stop, voice overlapping as you tell each other to continue then stop again. Itâs funny if not awkward and you laugh, startled and breathless.
âOkay,â he says, hands lifting slightly in surrender. âYou first.â
âNo, you go,â you insist, scrambling upright a little too fast. The room tilts for half a second and you grab his thigh to steady yourself.
His hands hover again, then settle at your waist just in case.
âCareful,â he murmurs. âYouâre still a little⌠yâknow?â
You straighten and stand away from the couch, legs wobbling in a way you pretend not to notice. The cool air hits your skin and reality comes rushing back in a tidal wave of embarrassment.
Your skirt rests on your thighs but theyâre crumpled, and your hair is surely a mess.
Gojo watches, biting his lip hard enough to leave teeth marks. He stands too, running a hand through his hair, suddenly looking almost shy as he grabs his discarded shirt and pulls it back on.
For a moment, neither of you know where to look.
You fixate on a crack in the wall and he studies the floor.
âDo you, uh⌠want me to walk you back?â
The normalcy of the question feels surreal.
âIâm fine with walking,â you say quickly. âThe weatherâs nice so.â
âYeah,â he nods. âFresh air. Definitely.â
You grab your bag with fumbling hands, nearly knocking it off the couch in the process. He catches it before it hits the floor, fingers brushing yours again as he hands it over.
Neither of you pull away immediately. Then, you both do at the same time.
âRight,â you say.
âRight,â he echoes.
He opens the door for you, peeking into the hallway first before gesturing.
âYou sure you donât want me to walk you back?â
You almost cry at the visual of a way out. âNo, no, I'm fine. Itâs not too far anyway.â
Gojo studies your face like heâs trying to decide whether to argue or not. For once, he doesnât look like heâs in on some big secret. He just looks uncertain.
âIf you say so,â he mutters, stepping aside.
You slip past him into the hallway, letting out a big sigh of relief when you hear the door close gently behind you with a soft click. Looking over your shoulder, you see Gojo follow you out anyway.
Your feet slow. âYou donât have to, I'm really okay.â
âIâm not,â he says quickly, shoving his hands into his pockets. âIâm just heading in the same direction. That's all. What a coincidence?â
âUh-huh.â
The staircase is only a few doors down, but the short walk stretches, each step heavy with things unsaid. You can hear voices downstairs, life continuing on, oblivious.
At the top of the stairwell, you stop.
âAre we still going the same way?â
He shakes his head.
âIâll see you around,â you settle on when the silence stretches.
âSee you, Y/N.â
You take one step down, then another. After a third, you glance back.
Gojo is still there, watching. your chest does something uncomfortable as he waits.
âGoodnight, Satoru,â you say softly.
He blinks, like the name catches him off guard every time. Then he smiles, small but warm.
âNight, sweets.â
When you reach the bottom and push out into the night air, it feels shockingly cool against your overheated skin. The campus is quiet, streetlights painting everything gold and shadowed, the distant sound of traffic humming like white noise.
You walk faster than necessary because if you slow down, the thoughts will quickly flood in. And if you start thinking, you might realise that somewhere between asking him for help and leaving his room tonight, something has gone very, very wrong.Â
Youâre not sure why you care so much.Â
You tell yourself itâs because Geto will be there, because this is a chance to make a real impression, because this is what all of it has been building toward. But as you stand in front of your mirror, turning this way and that, smoothing imaginary wrinkles, adjusting your hair for the third time, checking your reflection from angles no one in real life would ever see, you realise this isnât normal.Â
Youâve never put this much thought into a âcasualâ outing before.Â
Not the outfit, carefully balanced between cute and effortless, like you didnât spend forty minutes deciding between two nearly identical tops just for the jersey to cover it anyway. Not the makeup, soft enough to look natural, deliberate enough to feel like armor. Not the way your stomach flips every time you picture stepping into the arena.Â
You know deep down this isnât about Geto. That thought alone makes your chest feel tight.Â
You grab your purse before you can overthink it further and leave.Â
When you walk into the arena, the roar of the crowd hits you like a physical force, loud and electric, buzzing with anticipation and cheer. It bleeds through the concrete walls, through your bones, and through the floor beneath your shoes.Â
The game hasnât officially started yet, you made sure to come before then, but the energy is already at a fever pitch.
Your eyes sweep the rink automatically, searching. And you spot him immediately.Â
Gojo, in his navy and white jersey, skates across the ice like it belongs to him, like the rink exists solely to accommodate his momentum. It doesn't seem to matter that his helmet obscures most of his face, youâd recognise him anywhere. the easy confidence in the way he moves, the loose, effortless posture, the casual speed that looks like he isnât even tryingâitâs unmistakable.Â
His hair, damp under his helmet, peeks out in soft white tufts. His cheeks are slightly flushed from exertion, breath fogging faintly in the cold air as he glides past teammates, exchanging easy shoves and taps of sticks. He's the easiest person in the world to look at and the hardest to look away from.Â
He glances up towards the stands during warm-ups, scanning lazily, and your heart stutters. You freeze, suddenly aware of yourself, of the crowd, of how ridiculous it is to hope heâll notice you among hundreds of people wearing the same colours.Â
I mean, all these people? All wearing the team jersey? And you wouldnât call yourself beautiful, not in the kind of way that makes someone stand out across a packed arena, and certainly not in a way that draws eyes automatically, notâ
Gojo turns a little more. and then his eyes meet yours.Â
The jolt is instantaneous, sharp and electric, like touching a live wire. Your breath catches, lungs forgetting their purpose entirely as a stupid, bright grin spreads across his face.Â
A strange warmth floods your chest, blooming outward until it feels too big to contain. You bite your lip, trying and failing, to suppress your own giddy smile as you tug lightly at the hem of your jersey, lifting it just enough to show the number at the front and point at it.Â
06.Â
If it's even possible, his grin widens. He spins around without hesitation, and easily mind you, skating backward for a few seconds just to show off the back of his own jersey, jabbing a glove thumb at the matching number with pride.Â
Heat rushes to your face.Â
It's ridiculous, childish even, but your heart is pounding and the warmth in your chest swells until itâs almost overwhelming.Â
When warm-ups end, he lifts his stick in your direction in one last, unmistakable acknowledgement before skating toward the bench, where his teammates swarm him instantly. One of them hooks an arm around his neck, dragging him down while another plays bongos on his helmet, elbows digging into his ribs.Â
From this distance you canât hear what theyâre saying, but you donât need to. His expression gives everything away, the wide grin and mock protests, and the way he shoves them back half-heartedly while still laughing.Â
Someone whistles, another bumps his shoulder and one even points toward the stands, toward you. Your stomach flips.Â
âY/N?âÂ
You start, tearing your eyes away as if caught doing something incriminating. Geto stands beside you, already holding two drinks, his expression warm and easy.Â
âHey,â he says, offering you one. âYou made it. I found seats over here, itâs a pretty good view, if I donât say so myself. We should head over before the game starts.âÂ
You take the cup automatically, fingers brushing his. âThanks!â
He smiles, guiding you through the rows of people with gentle awareness, making space and steadying you when someone brushes past too close. It's thoughtful and careful and exactly the kind of thing that made you fall for him in the first place.Â
Once seated, conversation comes easily to him. Itâs all polite small talk and soft jokes, quiet observations about the team and season. He fills in the silence like Gojo had predicted, never letting it become uncomfortable. He does all the right things that you could almost tick them off a list. He laughs at your comments like theyâre genuinely funny and asks questions that make it clear heâs paying attention.Â
It should be perfect, it should be everything youâve ever wanted.Â
And yet, your eyes drift back to the rink, to the flashes of navy and white.Â
To the tall figure leaning against the boards, helmet off now, shaking his hair as he listens to a coach, nodding absentmindedly while his gaze flicks upward.Â
Your pulse jumps when his eyes land on you again. Except this time he doesnât grin. It might be your imagination but he seemingly looks to Geto beside you, then back, just watching.Â
You force yourself to look back at Geto, nodding at something he just said, hoping your smile looks natural and not strained.Â
BUZZWORD
The game starts fast.Â
Faster than you expected, faster than anything youâve watched on TV, faster than seems physically possible for men balancing on thin blades over frozen water. The pluck drops and suddenly the rink explodes with motion, bodies colliding, sticks clashing, skates carving violent crescents into the ice.Â
You lost track of the puck almost immediately.
Geto leans closer, voice raised just enough to carry over the roar of the crowd. âWatch Satoru, he plays center so heâll usually be in there.â
Your eyes find him easily.Â
He moves differently from everyone else, you see, loose, flashier, or maybe thatâs just you. No, you reject that notion as he accelerates in bursts, gliding between players with impossible precision, stick tapping the ice impatiently when he doesnât have the puck.Â
Every time he skates past your side of the rink, your chest tightens and your throat hurts a little more as you try to cheer louder.Â
The first goal goes to the other team.Â
Your side of the arena groans as one, a wave of disappointment that rattles through the stands. You feel it too, a sinking drop in your stomach, though you donât fully understand the play that led to it.Â
Gojo slams his stick once against the ice in frustration, then shoves off hard, jaw set.Â
Geto doesnât seem worried. âTheyâll bounce back. Satoru is the best they have, after all.â
Just like he predicted, they do. Midway through the second period, one of Gojoâs teammates manages to slip the puck past the goalie, and the building detonates. People surge to their feet to cheer and you find yourself in that crowd, cheering without thinking, adrenaline crackling through your veins like you personally contributed.Â
On the ice, Gojo grabs the scorer by the shoulders and shakes him, helmet bumping into helmet, grin blinding even through the cage.Â
Itâs a tie game until itâs not. Another goal to the opposing side which Gojoâs team equalising moments after. Again and again, a tense back and forth that even has Geto inhaling sharply at moments.Â
By the third period, your nails are dug into the flimsy paper cup in your hand, ice long melted into a yucky watered down version of whatever was in the drink. You barely notice when Geto takes it from you and sets it aside so you donât crush it completely.Â
The scoreboard reads 3-3 and the clock tells you thereâs two minutes left.Â
The noise is deafening now, frantic and desperate, every movement on the ice met with gasps or shouts.Â
Gojo has long since lost the playful edge from earlier. He circles near centre ice, knees bent, weight forward, eyes tracking the puck like itâs the only thing that exists in the world. A defender tries to box him out and he shrugs him off with a brutal shoulder check that makes the crowd howl.Â
The puck slides loose along the boards, ricocheting off a tangle of skates and sticks like it has a mind of its own. Someone on Gojoâs team snatches it first and fires it forward, a risky pass that slides clean across open ice, and towards him.Â
Gojo receives it in stride, blade cushioning the impact with effortless control. He doesnât even glance down. his head is already up, scanning his way forward. A defender lunges for him and he slips past with a sharp pivot, hips twisting, edges biting deep into the ice.Â
Youâre on your feet before you realise youâve moved.Â
âGoâ!â you scream and like a domino effect, people around you start to cheer.Â
Gojo fakes a left. The goalie commits.Â
He snaps right, dragging the puck across his body in one powerful motion, forcing the goalie to witness the outplay. And then he flicks his wrist and a sharp crack echoes across the rink.Â
The puck lifts, a black blur slicing through air, threading the narrowest gap between glove and shoulder, and slams into the back of the net.Â
For half a heartbeat, there is silence. Then the buzzer screams and the crowd erupts.Â
Sound crashes over you in a tidal wave, screaming, stomping, clapping, the metallic rattle of the stands shaking under hundreds of pounding feet. Youâre shouting too, throat tearing with it, hands flying to your mouth before dropping again because you need them free to clap and wave, anything to release all this energy exploding out of you.Â
Down on the ice, Gojo throws his head back and roars, pure exhilaration bursting out of him. His teammates collide with him seconds later, swarming him in a pile of navy and white, shoving his helmet and grabbing his shoulders, almost knocking him over in their celebration.Â
He's laughing.Â
Even through the cage, from the distance, you can see it, the wild brightness in his eyes and the way his chest heaves with adrenaline.Â
They won.Â
They actually won.Â
Youâre bouncing on your toes without realising, hands clasped in front of your mouth.Â
Gojo breaks free from the pile just enough to turn and look up into the stands. It's easier finding you this time around when he knows where to look.Â
His whole face lights up, grin splitting wide and unrestrained, so bright it feels like it could blind you, he lifts his stick and points it straight at you then thumps it once against the ice in a triumphant salute.Â
Your stomach swoops violently.Â
You laugh, breathless and giddy, lifting both hands to wave back like an idiot. Your body is already leaning forward, feet shifting as instinct screams for you to move. To go down there, to be closer, to meet him at the glass while heâs still glowing with victory looking as beautiful as youâve ever seen him, so alive that it radiates off him in waves.Â
You want to throw your arms around his neck.Â
You want to tell him that was incredible.Â
You wantâ
âY/N?â
Getoâs voice cuts gently through the chaos, close to your ear.
You blink, tearing your gaze away from the ice to find him watching you with a small, amused smile.Â
âThat was intense,â he says, laughter in his voice. âI forgot how crazy these games get at the end. Makes you glad you came, right?â
âYeah,â you breathe, though it comes out shaky and raw from all the cheering. âYeah it was. Definitely.â
Your eyes flick down despite yourself and find Gojo still looking up, smile dimmed.Â
Geto gestures toward the aisle. âIf we leave now, we can beat the post-game crowd. The bookstoreâs only a short walk away anyway. We can find Satoru after he comes out.âÂ
The words land heavy in your chest. How could you forget? There was a plan in action, the reason why you came, the person youâre supposed to be focusing on.Â
âRight,â you say, though your voice sounds far away even to your own ears.Â
On the ice, Gojoâs teammates are tugging him toward the bench, shouting in his ear and shoving him here and there. He goes easily enough, though not without one last glance at you. He tilts his chin, a silent question in your eyes, clear despite the distance.Â
Are you going?
Your fingers curl into fists at your side.Â
âReady?â Geto asks softly.
You swallow. â... yeah.â
But as you turn to follow him up the aisle, the roar of the arena swelling behind you, you canât shake that youâve made the wrong decision. You feel it, that strange, electric thread stretching thinner and thinner behind you as the tunnel swallows Gojo whole.Â
BUZZWORD
It should be fun.Â
Geto is easy to talk to, heâs polite, thoughtful and gentle, and all the right things. You trail behind him between the shelves as he talks about a book he likes, or some theory he discovered that explains so much and makes so much sense.Â
You try, you really do. You nod your head and attempt to store that information away. Â
But everything just doesnât feel right. It's hard to store that information away when your head is full of that look Gojo had given you, the way his white hair had stuck out from under his helmet, damp from the effort and glory of winning, eyes sparkling under the stadium lights, the way he had lifted his stick to point at you.Â
Geto is kind. But your tastes donât match. Your jokes land in different places. He's nice, and you do enjoy his conversation. But not in the same way you had enjoyed Gojoâs company that day in the cafe.Â
You donât feel nervous. You donât feel excited. Honestly, you just feel like pretending.Â
And as if the universe is screaming at you about something just beyond your grasp, when you reach for the same book, your fingers donât brush. And you donât want them to.Â
Getoâs phone buzzes when heâs in the middle of explaining some theories from this guy called Slavoj Zizek? He winces at whatever he reads.Â
âSorry,â he starts, sounding genuinely apologetic. âI need to head out. But hey, hereââ He pulls a paperback off the shelf and hands it to you. âThis is the one I was talking about. I think youâll like it.âÂ
you accept it automatically. âThanks,â you say, and then heâs waving and gone the next moment, door swinging behind him.Â
For a while, you wander the bookstore in an attempt to rationalise the complex emotions warring inside you. Geto is your crush. You know this. And yet, it all feels so superficial. Gojo had been right, there was nothing personal about the things you liked about him to explain the crush.Â
You stand in the quiet of the aisle, holding a book you frankly donât care about, surrounded by a silence that feels like the wrong choice made tangible long after the last customer walks out. Heavy rain falls outside, pelting against the roof of the store, a steady white noise that backgrounds your thoughts.Â
When the bookstore begins to close, youâre ushered outside. You swear as youâre suddenly caught in the harsh weather and through the heavy sheets of rain, there looks to be no other store open. Hastily, you run out in the rain to find some place where you can get cover over your head. Finally, you see a small awning from a closed shop.Â
You run under the awning, hugging your arms to your chest as you wait out the storm, feeling stupidly alone and stupidly unsure why youâre this upset. This is what you wanted right? But the part of your heart that has always known the truth traitorously voices the thoughts youâve been pushing down all this time.Â
Gojo.Â
Through the sheets of heavy rain, someone is running towards you. Tall, white hair, still in his jersey, his hair now damp (read: soaked) with rain water rather than sweat.
He skids under the awning, breathless, terribly drenched, an unopened umbrella in one hand.Â
âWhat the hell,â he says immediately, voice sharp with concern and frustration. âAre you trying to get pneumonia? Why didnât you go home? Didnât you check the weather? It clearly said it was going to rain today!â
You blink, gaping at his sudden presence. âWhat are you, no, why are you here? Shouldnât you be celebrating?â
He snorts. âYeah, I was. Until Suguru texted. Said he left you at the bookstore and for me to pick you up. Seriously, you didnât even bring an umbrella?â
The situation finally catches up to you and you frantically gesture to his own umbrella. âHow can you lecture me when you just ran out all the way here without opening your umbrella? itâs literally in your hands, all you had to do was open it!âÂ
âLike i had the time to! My legs are literally burning from the game and you made me run all this way out to save you!â
âI never asked you to!â
âWell, I had to!â He steps closer, finally freeing himself from the rain completely. His presence fills up the cramped space under the awning and you catch a whiff of cedar and sweat. âI couldnât just let you die out here in the cold!â
Speechless, you open and close your mouth like an idiot. Finally, you manage to ask, âHow did you even know I was out here?â
âWerenât you listening? I told you Suguru told me he ditched you!âÂ
At Getoâs name, your face falls. Ah, right. your little moral dilemma about Geto.Â
Gojo also calms down a little, his chest heaving a little slower as he uses the silence to catch his breath. his eyes scan your expression, picking up on the way you bite your lip, eyes looking away.Â
âHey,â he says, voice soft though still strained. âYou okay?â
Your throat tightens. âI guess? I don't know. Look, sorry. I appreciate you coming.â
âDon't give me that. Just donât. Youâve told me every embarrassing thing about yourself when you outed that you, you know, like Suguru. Donât hide something from me now. Are you upset that he left?â His hand comes out to wipe water off your cheek. âDon't cry.â
You scrunch up your face in mild disgust. âIâm not? That's literally just rain water.â
âOh. So you're okay?â
You inhale and let it out slowly. Were you okay? You shouldnât be, not if Geto was your crush and he just ditched you. And yet, under Satoruâs shadow as he stands in front of you, blocking the rain, brows furrowed and lips pressed tight as he looks you over in concern, you find yourself feeling okay. More than okay.Â
âWhy do you even like him?â He asks, quietly, a question that would have easily been lost to the rain if you werenât hanging off his every word.Â
âI told you,â you start, just as quiet. âHe saved me that one time.âÂ
âYeah?â He opens the umbrella with one hand, and holds your hand in the other, gently guiding you out from under the awning. Rain hits heavy against the fabric and he holds you close to keep you out from the storm, your chest grazing his. âHe saved you that day in the rain, did he?â
You swallow. âYeah.â
âJust like this?âÂ
Mutely, you nod. In his arms, you barely notice the slight chill.Â
Gojo searches your eyes for something. He exhales, long and uneven, like heâs been holding this in for longer than heâs willing to admit. And yet, he doesnât shy away, doesnât tear his gaze away from yours, just keeps holding the umbrella over your head, tilted ever so slightly in your direction such that youâre completely covered.Â
âThat day,â he says, quiet but steady, âWhen you got caught in the rain after that stupid orientation thing? Suguru wasnât on campus. He went back home for a month before the semester started and didnât come back until the second week. I was the one that found you.âÂ
Your breath falters. âWhat? But he⌠he gave me his hoodie. His name was on the tag.âÂ
âYeah,â Satoru laughs, a single disbelieving puff. âI was wearing his hoodie. He wasnât at the dorms so I stole some of his clothes to wear. Itâs whatever, he steals some of mine sometimes. The point is, I was the one that helped you.âÂ
For a moment, you stop breathing entirely. The rain pours around the two of you, a curtain of noise, but itâs silent under the umbrella.Â
Youâve never seen Gojo so nervous. Definitely not before the big game earlier, not on any of the practice dates, never when he talks to a group of people. Between the two of you, nervousness came more naturally to you. And yet, standing before you vulnerable, wet lashes stuck together, cheeks flushed from running and is that a faint bruise forming on his jaw? He looks nervous and itâs a sight that sends warmth all over your face.Â
His eyes are unbearably soft as he waits for your verdict.Â
âWhy didnât you tell me?â Your voice sounds too small.Â
âBecause you thought it was Suguru. Because you liked him. And back then, I didn't realise that I wanted you to know it was me.â
Your heart thuds, something a little more daring saying the next few words for you. âAnd now?âÂ
This moment was perfect. The two of you had been slowly closing that small gap of distance, eyes seeing nothing but each other and suddenly all those rom coms and kdramas come to mind. All those scenes of first kisses (forgetting the practices because those didnât include real romance), all those late night conversations with Shoko about what itâs like, they all come and leave your brain.Â
But instead of leaning in and sealing the deal, Gojoâs entire body suddenly stiffens. His arm around you loosens, placing more distance between the two of you.Â
What the hell?Â
His gaze drops a little further before coming back up with a discipline that can only come from reciting the digimon opening theme over and over in his head. âNow I'm trying really, really hard not to stare at you.â
Curious, you look down to your soaked shirt where the fabric clings painfully close, embarrassingly sheer. It only serves to emphasise the lines of your bra and though you canât really see anything, Gojoâs face is flushed pink not just from exertion, and his jaw is tight.Â
âSatoruââ
âmy place,â he blurts. âwe should, uh, get you warmed up. Your shirt is literally see-through and if I have to keep pretending I don't notice, I'm going to walk myself right into traffic.âÂ
âThat is so dramatic.â The beginnings of a smile causes the corner of your lips to quiver upwards at his flustered state.Â
âiâm dramatic,â he insists, voice strained, still not looking. ânow come on. I still donât want you catching pneumonia out here and Sig Kap is literally right near the gate. We can keep talking there when you donât look like a puppy left out in the rain.â
âSays you.â You eye his white hair plastered to his forehead and smile, reaching up to move a few clinging strands from his eyes. âBut okay. Iâd like that a lot.â
Unfortunately, the gesture makes him look back down at you, inevitably making him catch an eyeful of your chest. He closes his eyes. âLet's just go before I give you this umbrella and walk onto the road.âÂ
You laugh a little. âGeez, you really are dramatic.âÂ
He walks you to Sig Kap, refusing to stand fully under the umbrella. When you try to grab his arm and pull him under, he only launches into a talk about being a feminist and how chivalry isnât dead and how much he hates periods and loves matcha. You laugh and he smiles down at you before looking away. Seriously, he needs to get over that.Â
At the door outside the house, Gojo stops you.Â
âHere.â he hands you the umbrella, fingers brushing yours, before reaching down to take his jersey off. You instinctively blush and look away, but considering your state of undress it would only be fair if you stole a glance. So you peek at him from the corner of your eyes.Â
You only manage to look just below his abs when something warm and slightly damp flops over your head.Â
âHey!â
He takes the umbrella back from you, standing in front of you and covering your back with the umbrella.. âPut that on before we head inside. Take your wet jersey off, hurry.â
Feeling warm despite the rain, you hastily pull off your soaked top, making sure heâs looking politely away, and throw his jersey on. Itâs still damp but not as drenched as your own. Looking down, it falls past your skirt and just above your knees.Â
âYouâre going to walk in shirtless?â
âBetter than you walking in looking like that.â He doesnât give you a moment to think about his words. âCome on, youâre going to catch a cold.â
He leads you to the now familiar front door and when it opens before Gojo can even touch the doorknob, you understand the reasoning of his actions.Â
âDude!â Hikari cheers, wrapping an arm round Gojoâs shoulders and eagerly pulling him in despite his grunt of protest. âCongrats on the win, man!â
Hikari quickly notices your presence.Â
âOh. So youâre already celebrating, huh?â
Gojo brushes past him, his hand holding tours to guide a path through the sweaty frat boys. âShut it, Hikari. Is Sukuna in?â
âNah. The whole floorâs gone.â Hikari answers, raising his voice as Gojo quickly places distance between him and you.Â
When the door of his room closes behind you both, he turns and pulls you in, his hand falling down on your hips, pulling you close. You both look like wet dogs but you couldnât care less.
âSorry about them,â he mumbles against your hair.Â
âItâs fine,â you pause. âWho's sukuna?â
âThe guy in the room next to mine.â
âOh.â
He hesitates, searching your eyes in the dark of his room. The storm rages on beyond his window, rain entering through a slightly ajar window, but neither of you make the responsible move to close it. Instead, you find yourself pressing up against him, hoping for more.Â
âSweets,â he says, his voice low. âPlease donât tell me this is still practice.â
âItâs not.âÂ
He takes a deep breath in. âYou piss me off. Youâre annoying, and insistent, and you always get what you want.â
You frown a little. âHold on, I thought this was going a different way.â
He shushes you by placing a finger against your lips. âYou never listen to me and you never act how I think you will. Youâre definitely not normal and your thoughts are all weird and messed up. But youâre always in my head and you have the prettiest smile and the softest voice and when you tell me to shut up I want to drop to my knees and lick your feet.â
âOkay, itâs definitely getting weird now.âÂ
âI think Iâm seriously doomed,â he whispers despite your protests. âBecause I bought that coffee you gave me months ago and I still drank it even though I hated how it tasted. And I havenât been able to get it up without thinking about you and those pretty lips.âÂ
âNow I see why you donât do relationships.â
Gojo chuckles, eyes unbearingly soft. âI think Iâm in love with you, Y/N. Youâre all I can think about.âÂ
You let out a slow exhale.Â
This was not how you imagined any of this. That day when you sat down with Shoko to plan a devious scheme to get with Geto, you naturally assumed it would end with him by your side, or with a crippling inability to reassimilate with society.Â
Never in a million years did you think youâd be here, in Gojoâs enormous room inside a frat house, him hanging off your every word.Â
But thinking on it now, thereâs nothing you want to change in your plan.Â
âI think Iâm in love with you too.â You say just as quietly, a smile playing on your lips.Â
âReally?â If he had dog ears, they would have surely perked up. âBecause I was lying, I definitely donât just think that.â
âWoah, letâs calm down a little.â
He chuckles, breath misting your face.Â
His thumbs rub circles and you shiver at the faint sensation.
âCold?â
You bite the lip and nod. Now that youâve confessed, the forbidden desire building up in your core no longer feels like something you need to hide. Instead, you embrace it, and you let Gojo see the change in your eyes.Â
He nods back, looking down at his jersey on you.Â
âYou should probably take this off or youâll get sick.âÂ
You grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it over your head, leaving you in just your bra. You mentally fist bump your past self for overthinking your attire earlier that morning and throwing on a matching set.Â
His pupils dilate as he looks at you, eyes lingering on the delicate lace.Â
âAm I moving too fast?â He whispers, breath misting your ear as he leans in.Â
You rapidly shake your head, heart pounding in your chest. The air between you crackles with tension, the rain pattering against the window like a distant drumbeat.Â
He sighs, a low, relieved sound that vibrates through his chest. âGood. Câmere.â
He backs you up against the door, the wood cool against your bare back. His hands slide up your sides as he traps you. The guise of getting you out of wet clothes feels like a thin excuse now, but you donât mind, your own hands already tugging at his waistband, eager to feel more of him.Â
Gojoâs lips crash into yours, hungry and demanding, his tongue sweeping in to claim your mouth. You kiss back just as fiercely, fingers digging into his shoulders as you push against him, guiding him backward step by step. He stumbles slightly, surprised by your assertiveness, but a smirk tugs at his lips against yours.Â
He falls onto the couch with a soft thud, pulling you down on top of him. You straddle his lap, only because itâs the only position youâve had experience with thus far, and the friction of his hardening cock against your core sends sparks through your body. Your mouths meet again in a heated makeout, tongues tangling, breaths mingling in short, desperate gasps.Â
His hands roam your back, unhooking your bra with practiced ease, letting it fall away. You arch into him, pressing your bare breasts against his chest, nipples hardening from the contact.Â
âFuck, youâre so hot like this,â he growls, nipping at your lower lip. âWhere were you hiding all of this, hm?â
You shiver, fingers digging into his shirt. âYou like it when I tell you what to do, donât you? Big bad frat boy, already so hard because a girlâs got you pinned.â
He groans, hands gripping your ass to grind you against him. âKeep talking like that, and I'll show you whoâs really in control.â
But you donât stop. Instead, you push him back further into the cushions and trail your lips down his jaw, his neck, biting lightly to mark him. He lets you, for now, his breath hitching.Â
His eyes look down your body, hands feeling the softness of your skin before resting at the waistband of your cute, little skirt. He smirks and before you know it, youâre torn from his neck because he flips you onto your back in one swift move, pinning your wrists above your head.Â
âMy turn,â he purrs, voice rough.Â
You try to wriggle free. âWhat are you doing?â
âYou've always had a thing against my tongue, havenât you?â
âThat was weeks ago, I don'tâwait a minute!â Your hands find his head, trying to push him back up but he refuses, settling properly between your legs and lowering.Â
âRelax.â He turns his head and kisses your palm, eyes on yours. âI'll make you feel good. I always do, don't I?â
You hesitate, your arms losing their strength as the tension eases from your body. He watches you carefully, his gaze soft yet intense, making sure youâre okay before he moves. With a gentle nod from you, he lifts the edge of your skirt and flips it up onto your stomach, groaning low at the sight of the damp spot on your panties.
âSo cute,â he hums, his free hand sliding between your legs to rub at the numb poking out through the fabric. âThis little clitâs begging for attention.âÂ
You let out a startled gasp, hips bucking up involuntarily at the sudden touch. Itâs all still so new, the sparks of pleasure shooting through you like electricity.Â
âYou want my mouth on this pretty pussy, donât you?â He murmurs, lowering to mouth against your panties.Â
His warm breath seeps through the thin material, and the flat of his tongue presses against you, exploring with teasing pressure thatâs not quite enough to satisfy the ache building inside.Â
You jolt again, the sensation overwhelming, back bowing slightly as if to instinctively pull away. He doesnât let you go far, his hand on your thigh tightening to pull you back against his mouth.Â
âI know, I know,â he coos against you. âIt's too much, isnât it?â
You whimper, looking down and feeling a fresh surge of heat when you meet eyes with him.Â
âThatâs it, just feel it,â he encourages, his thumb stroking your thigh in slow circles.Â
Finally, he draws your panties to the side and doesnât waste another second.Â
Gojoâs mouth descends on your pussy, tongue flicking out to lap at your clit.Â
You gasp sharply, hips bucking up as he sucks the sensitive nub between his lips, rolling it gently. His hands hold your thighs apart, fingers digging into your skin to keep you open for him. He eats you out like heâs starved, tongue delving inside you, tasting your wetness then circling back to your clit with firm, insistent strokes.Â
âOh god,â you choke out, the words tumbling from your lips in a breathless rush. âFuck, itâs tooâfuck itâs so good!âÂ
With your hands free, you curl your fingers in his soft white hair, guiding him exactly where the pleasure feels strongest. It's your first time feeling anything like this, and the intensity builds fast, a coiling heat thatâs overwhelming but addictive.Â
He hums against you, the vibrations making you whine as his tongue thrusts in and out, mimicking whatâs to come, stretching you open with wet, probing motions.
âMmm, taste so fucking sweet,â he growls between licks, pulling back just enough to speak, his breath hot against your folds. âYouâre clenching so hard alreadyâgonna finger fuck you open so you can take my cock later.â
He adds a finger, sliding it inside your slick heat slowly, curling it to brush against that spot that makes stars burst behind your eyelids. âThat's it baby, feel how wet you are for me? so tight around my finger, imagine how youâll squeeze my dick when I'm buried deep.â
You nod frantically, the haze of pleasure making it hard to form words.Â
He senses your building release, slipping a second finger inside to stretch you further, scissoring them gently to prepare you while his mouth latches back on your clit, sucking harder. âCome on, cum for meâwanna taste you so fucking bad, sweets. I want to feel you shake.â
The orgasm hits you like a wave, crashing over your body without warning. you cry out, back arching off the surface beneath you as your pussy clenches around his fingers, pulsing with release. He doesnât stop, lapping at you through it, drawing out every shudder until youâre boneless and gasping for air, his tongue coaxing every last tremor from your oversensitive folds.Â
Gojo pulls back slowly, a string of saliva still connecting to you until he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he crawls up your body.Â
âFuck, you taste like heaven,â he murmurs, leaning in for a deep kiss and letting you taste yourself on his lips.Â
You kiss back weakly making him chuckle, and he pulls back with a wet chu.Â
âYou okay?â
You nod weakly. One moment youâre catching your breath on the couch, the next heâs lifting you over his shoulder and laying you down on his bed.Â
You yelp, feeling gravity turn on its head until youâre safely on his mattress.Â
Watching as he eagerly strips, you say, âYou got a bedframe.â
He grins widely, shimmying down his boxers to join his sweatpants on the floor. âYeah, I did. Do you like it?â
You huff. âYeah. About time, Satoru.â
Gojoâs smile is oddly bright as he gets on the bed and hovers over you. He shifts, propping himself up on his elbows, his blue eyes darkening as they fixate on your chest. Without a word, he moves down, his mouth hovering just above your skin before he presses his face into the soft valley of your tits, inhaling deeply as if savouring your scent.Â
âGod, I love these things.â he groans, voice muffled, his lips brushing the sensitive underside. âSo goddamn perfect. Feel how hard you make me just staring at them?â
You squirm, indeed feeling his cock throb against your leg. âYouâre such an animal.â
âI can't help it. Been thinking about these ever since last time.â He peeks up at you though heâs still hesitant to part with them completely. âCan i fuck them?â
Your nod is all the consent he craves. He straddles your waist carefully and guides his thick length to rest in the plush channel youâve created by pressing your breasts together. The first slide is torturously slow, the velvety skin enveloping him as he rocks forward, the tip emerging shiny with precum near your collarbone.Â
âShit, yes,â he hisses, hips snapping in a shallow rhythm. âSo soft, so fucking warm around me. Look at that, sweets. Your tits are hugging my dick like they were made for it.â
His voice drops lower, rough with building pleasure, each word punctuated by the slick glide of skin on skin.Â
You watch him, mesmerised by the concentration etching his features, brow furrowed, lips parted as he pants. Sweat beads on his forehead and trickles down his temples as his abs flex with every controlled push. The friction builds between your tits, his precum smearing across your skin, making the slide even smoother and more obscene.Â
He glances down to watch his cock disappear and poke out from your cleavage. âOpen your mouth for me, baby.â
âSweets,â you remind him.Â
He lets out a stifled groan, hips jerking forward. âSweets, please. Let me see your pretty tongue. Want it on my tip when i come through so fucking bad.âÂ
The nickname sends a thrill through you, and you part your lips obediently, flattening your tongue in invitation. He groans at the sight, hips stuttering as he angles higher, the flushed head of his cock brushing your waiting mouth on the next thrust.Â
âFuck, just like that,â he rasps. âYour tongue feels so good lapping at me like that. Swirl it around, taste how much I want you. God, sweets, youâre killing me.âÂ
You do, tracing the sensitive underside when he pushes forward, the salty tang of him flooding your senses. His reaction is immediate, a deep, guttural moan escapes him, his rhythm faltering as he jerks deeper, chasing the wet heat of your mouth.Â
âCan't get enough,â he growls, drawing back only to thrust again, his tip kissing your tongue with deliberate precision and drawing back a sticky string of his precum and your saliva. âGonna fuck your mouth next, stuff it full of my cock until youâre choking on it. You'd take it so well, wouldnât you? Suck me down like the greedy little thing you are.âÂ
Saliva pools on your tongue and drips down to mix with the mess on your chest. He watches it all with hooded eyes, rutting faster now, the slap of his hips against your breasts echoing softly in the room.Â
âFuck, sweetsâgonna cum,â he warns through gritted teeth, his forehead creasing in that pretty, desperate way. âCanât hold back with you squeezing me like this. Shit, iâm gonna paint you, mark every inch of these pretty tits.â
He lurches forward suddenly, back bowing as he towers over you, one hand bracing beside your head while the other strokes his base to control his release. The first hot spurt lands across your neck, thick and warm, followed by another that arches toward your open mouth. He aims with a focused groan, pressing down on the head to guide it, ropes of cum landing on your tongue, filling your senses with his taste.Â
âTake it, thatâs a good girl,â he pants, voice breaking on a final, shuddering thrust. âLook at you, covered in me. So fucking hot, dripping with my cum on your face and tits.âÂ
His body quakes through the aftershocks, eyes never leaving yours, drinking in your reaction as he milks every drop onto you.Â
When heâs spent, he collapses forward slightly, catching himself on his forearms to avoid crushing you and leans down.Â
Your lips meet his in a deep, unhurried kiss, tongues tangling slow and sweet at first, then hungrier as you melt into it. The taste of him, salty from earlier, mixed with the faint tang of your own arousal, ignites you, and you tug him down, hands roaming his shoulders, feeling the flex of muscle under sweat damp skin. A soft moan escapes you, and he swallows it, his grip tightening just a fraction.Â
He pulls back and pants against your lips, half laughing.Â
âSorry, I should have warned you. Kind of not the most virgin friendly thing to do, huh?â He sits up and reaches for some tissue to clean you. âShould of saved this for inside you, sweets.â
You clench, squeezing your thighs together. âIâve neverâŚâ
His eyes soften, wiping the last of his cum. âI know, sweets. We can wait if you need to, thereâs no rush.â
But curiousity and want is a dangerous cocktail and you find yourself shaking your head. âI want to.âÂ
Gojo lets out a shuddering breath and nods, sliding off your chest, his cock glistening and heavy against his thigh. âLet me get you warmed up again.â
He doesn't find much difficulty with that because one hand against your slit and his eyebrows are rising, feeling your wetness despite the lack of attention.Â
You blush, feeling caught. âWhat? Donât look at me like that, itâs embarrassing.â
âWhatâs got you so wet, hm?â
You squirm, feeling the lingering pleasure flare up. âItâs not my fault youâre so vocal.â
âDirty girl. You like hearing how good you make me feel?â His thumb smears your entrance, picking up and spreading the fresh arousal that gathers there and itâs as good as any verbal answer. âFeel that? So worked up with nowhere to go.â
His fingers part you gently, circling your entrance with feather-light strokes that make you gasp.Â
âLet me warm you up again, sweets. Youâre so swollen here, feels like youâve been waiting for more. Gonna make sure youâre nice and ready for me.â
He plays with the mess between your legs, his own expression a mix of hunger and restraint, breaths coming in measured pulls as he fights the urge to rush. One finger dips inside you shallowly, then two, curling just right to brush that spot that sends sparks up your spine.Â
The stretch is easier now, your body remembering the pleasure, and he coos softly at your soft whimper, thumb finding your clit to rub in slow, firm circles.Â
âShit, youâre so tight,â he groans quietly, voice rough around the edges. âSo warm and wet, itâs killing me not to slide in right now. But weâre taking our time, yeah? Making this perfect for you.â
Your hips rock instinctively into his hand, the coil of heat tightening low in your belly, and he grins, leaning in to pepper kisses along your jaw.Â
âLook at you, getting into it. My sweet girl, so responsive.â
You whine, the pleasure having reached a plateau and when you buck up for more, he withdraws his hand. The loss makes you whine but he hushes you with a gentle kiss to your forehead, reaching over to the nightstand and searching through his messy drawers for a condom.Â
The foil crinkles under his fingers as he tears it open and positions himself at your entrance. You're still slick, heâs made sure of that, but the anticipation makes you clench, nerves building up. He notices your sharp inhale and lets his tip nudge your slick folds, parting them teasingly though he pauses there to let you feel the pressure without pushing in.Â
âHey, eyes on me, sweets,â he murmurs, voice steady despite the way his chest heaves, his cock twitching against you. âYou still okay? Tell me if itâs too much, Iâll stop, I promise. But fuck, Iâd be lying if I said I didnât want to be inside you.â
âIâm okay,â you whisper breathlessly, fingers curling into the sheets below. âJust⌠go slow?â
He notices and slides a hand down to interlace your fingers, bringing your hand up to his lips and placing a soft kiss to your palm. âOf course. Whatever you want.âÂ
The stretch is immediate, a slow burn as he guides himself in, sinking bit by bit. His cock is much thicker than his fingers but the warmth of him, the way he watches every flicker of your expression with that twitch in his jaw, makes it bearable.Â
âFuck, youâre so fucking tight,â he rasps, eyes shutting briefly. âGripping me so good already. Easy, sweets, just relax into it.â
His voice cracks a little on the end, his fingers digging into your skin as he holds himself still once heâs halfway in.Â
It aches, but the fullness is intoxicating, waves of pleasure chasing the discomfort as your body yields. You gasp, squeezing his hand and he coos softly, stroking you with his thumb.Â
âCan I keep going?âÂ
You nod and even before your next breath, heâs already sliding in and bottoming out with a shared gasp, hips flushed against yours. His forehead rests against yours, breaths mingling in the humid air.Â
"How's that feel? Too much?â He asks softly.Â
âFull⌠so full,â you whimper, rocking experimentally and he hisses through his teeth, hips bucking up just a fraction before he catches himself.Â
âFuck, want me to move, sweets?â He shifts beneath you, guiding your hips in a gentle circle to grind against you, his praises making the movement slick.Â
âPlease,â you gasp out as the fullness sparks pleasure deep inside and he rewards your honest words with a slow roll of his hips.Â
âGood girl,â he praises, voice dropping to a gravelly whisper as he starts to move, shallow thrusts that build a steady friction. Each slide in and out drags against your inner walls, drawing out filthy whimpers and sighs as he hits that sweet spot with precision born of his experience.Â
Soon, your toes are curling and your back bows off his mattress, desperate to meet his thrusts.Â
âListen to those sounds youâre making,â he coos, emphasising his words with a deep thrust. âYouâre taking me so well, sweets. makes me want to stay buried in your forever.â
The pace gradually quickens, his control fraying at the edges as your moans encourage him. He shifts the angle, one leg hooking over his shoulder to deepen the penetration, and the new position has you crying out, pleasure coiling tight in your core.
Sweat beads on his skin, dropping onto your chest and he leans down to capture a nipple between his lips, sucking gently as he thrusts harder, the wet slap of skin echoing softly.Â
âThatâs it, let go for me,â he urges against your tits, teeth grazing the peak before soothing it with his tongue. âI can feel you squeezing, you close for me already? Come on, sweets, chase it.â
His words weave through the haze, dirty and devoted, spurring you higher as his freehand slips between you to circle your clit in time with his hips. The dual sensations overwhelm, building to a peak that has you trembling beneath him.Â
When it hits, itâs blinding, your orgasm crashing over you in waves, walls clenching rhythmically around him and pulling him deeper. He groans your name like a prayer, thrusts stuttering as rides it out with you, prolonging the bliss with expert rolls of his hips.Â
Only when you slump, sweaty and panting, does he let himself follow, a filthy groan escaping his lips as he buries himself deep one last time and spills into the condom, body shuddering as he struggles to hover over you.Â
He doesnât pull away immediately, instead pressing his hips closer to ensure youâve gotten everything before collapsing half on top of you, peppering lazy kisses along your neck.Â
âYouâre amazing,â he whispers. âMy perfect girl, did so good for us.â
You whimper against the ticklish sensation. âYou're too heavy.â
He chuckles and rolls off you, slowly pulling out to pull the condom off and discard it. you watch him with sleepy eyes, eagerly nuzzling into his arms when he settles back beside you.Â
âNeed anything? Water? Cuddles?âÂ
You hum, feeling the satisfaction morph into a drowsiness that has you melting into his arms, only feeling his warmth.Â
âYou?â
He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your cheek. âIâm so glad I stole you away. Youâre so fucking perfect for me.âÂ
You lean into his side, feeling a sense of indescribable completeness that fills you with certainty.Â
Geto Suguru may have been everyoneâs first love but Gojo Satoru is the one you choose.Â
And judging by the way his arm tightens around you, the way his grin softens when he looks down at you, he knows it too.Â
Geto Suguru is everyoneâs first love.
Even to this day, your friends will roll their eyes and insist that canât possibly be true. But from experience, that was exactly who he was, someone to admire from afar like a painting behind glass. Beautiful and alluring, and just out of reach.Â
You see him now up, sitting on the couches at the house party driving the murmur of conversation with ease, a red cup used to gesture. Laughter ripples outward in waves, people leaning closer, drawn in.
You smile out of solidarity, resting against the wall with content misplaced at a busy place like this.Â
âDid you wait long?â
You turn your head to find your boyfriend weaving through bodies with the casual confidence of someone who assumes space will make itself around him. Two drinks in hand, hair messy under his cat, grin already forming because heâs caught you staring.Â
You push off the wall, reaching automatically for whichever cup is closer but he pulls back to sniff both before handing you the opposite one.
You take it gratefully and when you take a sip, you realise itâs your favourite juice.Â
âWait time longer than the lines at Universal,â you tease.Â
He grins, leaning down to kiss your forehead. âNext time I'll get us the priority pass. Not that it looked like you minded the wait. Donât think I didn't see you eyeing Suguru like that. Do I have competition again?â
You shove him playfully. âPlease, like I'm the one whoâs been draping themselves over him for the past hour.â
Across the room, Geto laughs again, someone hanging off his shoulder while he tries to keep the liquid in his cup from spilling. He catches your eye briefly and lifts his cup in greeting. You return it with a smile.
Next to you, Gojo sighs dramatically.
âWow,â he says flatly. âRight in front of me too. Why canât I see any remorse in your eyes?â
âBecause there isnât any there,â you snort. âYou're the one who told him to come tonight.â
âWhere thereâs Satoru, thereâs Suguru.â
âI learnt that the hard way.â
He hums, arm sliding around your waist to pull you flush against his side. His thumb starts tracing lazy circles just above your hip, absentminded and affectionate, a touch so familiar you barely notice as you lean into him in return.
âStill,â he murmurs, quieter now, his breath warm against your cheek. âYou donât have to keep looking at him like that.â
âLike what?â
âLike youâre thinking about what you could have had.â
You tilt your head to look up at him. His expression isnât jealous, not completely, just searching, softer than the bravado he usually wears.
âI'm not,â you promise gently. âIt was always superficial. You know that better than anyone. I guess now, looking at him is like looking at a relic of a different version of me.â
He hums. âHe would have liked that sentence.â
You roll your eyes, ever so familiar with his dramatics. âYou have nothing to worry about, baby. I promise.â
âYeah?â
âYeah.â You reach up and adjust the brim of his cap slightly, smoothing down a piece of hair that refuses to stay put. âBesides, I think I traded up.â
âKeep talking like that and I'm going to start thinking you actually like me,â he grins, voice lowering.
You smack his chest but your other hand lingers in his hair, fingers slipping into the soft hair at his nape. "Don't get cocky.â
Too late. He's already smiling wide, not the loud, flashy grin everyone else gets, but something softer and almost boyish reserved just for you.
Gojo leans down and finds your lips. The kiss is slow and unhurried, deeper than something meant for a crowded room but not quite indecent, like heâs forgotten where you are or just doesnât care.
He pulls back just enough to talk. âHey, I have an idea thatâll solve this three way jealousy.â
âWhat?
âWhy donât we just have a threesome?â
a/n: i had to repost this because i realised i could fit everything into one post but holy hell reformating everything made me wanna die so please smash that like button hit subscribe and don't forget to turn on that notification bell ++ shoutout to flatline and happy pokemon day to those who celebrate