Origin Story
I wasn't always heavy. At 28 I was 130 lbs at 5' 7" tall. I got pregnant, went up to 180 lbs, but by my 6 week checkup I was down to 140 lbs.
Then I decided to get the birth control shot Depo-Provera, and my weight shot up to 180 again. I've never been below that since. I can blame part of my weight on this medication, but if I'm honest, other things changed, too. At that point in my life, my husband and I were finally getting more financially secure, and we started eating out a lot.
Fast forward 3 years and I fell into a deep depression, which had me in its grip for the next year before I finally got a diagnosis and professional help. By that time my marriage was in shambles due to some poor choices I made and the strain that came from having to deal with my mood swings. Shortly thereafter, we separated and eventually divorced. I've not had a significant romantic relationship since then.
I'm now 54, and I've tried so many ways to loose the weight. I joke that I'm as big as I am because I "gave up men and took up with Ben and Jerry." That's not completely false. I've spent the last 20 years trying to medicate myself with food. I've been hiding inside my bigger body, hoping to never have to go through heartache again. The few dates I've had never got to a second date, so I've resigned myself to just be ok with being alone.
I wonder what makes this time trying to loose weight any different? I'm sure my friends and family are tired of hearing me say "this time will be different..." and giving one reason or the other why I think I will succeed. I do have a vacation coming at the end of the year, for which I'd like to be 40 lbs lighter.
I'm still striving to go full vegan whole food plant based. I'm not using oils in cooking (not that I cook that often) but I'm still eating out too frequently. Cooking is a challenge for me because, frankly, I suck at it. They say the more you cook you'll get better at it, but so far I'm not finding that to be true.
At any rate, if you are still reading, thank you for listening to my ramblings. If you're also struggling with weight issues, feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to. Maybe we can help each other?













