“Listen- you have to do it” your warm hand is atop of his. Your finger leading his on the trigger.
“I was sent to betray you all and.. I thought I could, I thought I had it handled, but you- them- I can’t betray you guys any further” you look down, tears gathering.
The team is hearing yours and his words through the com.
It’s deadly silent.
"What did you tell him?” Ghost asks disappointed and sad.. his finger lingers close to yours.
The bullet ready to be shot straight to your heart. “I.. stopped sending informations about three weeks ago. He only knows some crumbs, but Si.. you have to kill me for this to work out. He thinks I’m MIA, which means the plan is shattered.. if he finds me- if he knows i’m alive, he won’t stop for anything!” you insist, your hand pushing the gun closer.
"Please.. this is my way of repenting”
“You’re selfish”
“I know I am” your eyes linger on the gun.
“You betray us, then ask me to kill you”
“I know.. I know, but this is for the best. You understand, I’m sure you do”
“Yeah, but that’s unfair. Dying by my hand. As if my feelings toward you were nothing but an hoax, when it’s you who lied”
“Si, I’m sorry” Tears finally spill.
Those sparkly eyes look up. The moon shining just right, Ghost follows the tears sliding down your face.
“I know you are” You close your eyes, because this was the worst outcome. Before accepting the mission you thought about all the endings you might go through and shit this is all the time worst. You didn’t.. or maybe you did mean to fall for Ghost. A forbidden love story. The apple of yer eye.
“Please.. he will know my location in under 2 hours. I went MIA for too long. He’s searching for me and when he finds me hell will break loose. If he sees my monitor go dead, he won’t search.
.
..
...
“Fine” Ghost mutters. It’s slow, calculated and filled with emotion.
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Blown pupils, his cig between your lips and a bubbly laugher leaves your mouth.
Simon Riley. The man he is.
His arms draped all over your body, the cold caresses you sweetly.
Nights like these make you forget the endless fights, the screams and the pleadings for a better future.
You kiss him and melt in his embrace.
Good luvie he mutters under his breath, pleased.
Nights like these make him forget the blood, the unfocused way he kills and kills and kills.
Helps him forget the monster he is, the monster his father was.. lulls him in a state of peace.
Love you you mutter softly, your body arched against his, your hands over the side of his face.
You giggle. It's great. Two naked bodies and souls touching.
You position yourself to face him and god, this man is yours.
Sonthin s'funny? He hums, his scarred fingers tracing your every dip and curve.
Mhmm yeah your eyes sparkly, joyful, like two teenagers who managed to sneak out of their houses only to drive to the nearest beach and splash water like tomorrow isn't chasin' after them
It goes silent. It's warm. It's everything and more.
It was supposed to be a professional relationship, nothing more, nothing less, but life has funny ways to fuck you over.
It's wrong, it's bad, it was supposed to fail and never begin.
Yet, a spark was ignited and now you're laying on Simon's bed, wrapped in his big strong arms.
It's everything you could ask for and your personal impending doom, because tomorrow he's going on an highly dangerous mission and you know he's awesome at his job, but a gut feeling is telling you that something is going to go terribly wrong.
And that's exactly what happened.
Not to him, but to you.
You're tied to a chair with a bomb strapped to your chest, ticking.
It's not going to end well. You can see and feel it. For some reasons, death never scared you. It was inevitable, especially on this line of job, you simply felt sorry for the man that loves you.
When task force 141 gets to know of your kidnapping they're on the move to rescue you, after all Simon is still out on the solo mission.
Sadly they couldn't reach you in time. You were meant to die. It wasn't an hostage situation, it was a threat. Loud and clear toward Ghost.
"AND I SAID I WOULD NEVER DARE" you hiss at So'lek for even entertaining such despicable thought about you.
His eyes widen, you never raised your voice at him. Not like this at least.
Tears stream down your face and your body trembles in rage and fear.
He thinks you plotted against the sarentu! Out of petty jealousy!
Your ears are pinned against your skull. Another sharp hiss leaves your lips, daring him to get closer.
This felt like a betrayal. You told him how you once got banned from your clan (and taken back) because you got falsely accused of killing a teen your age.
And now he DARES to blame you for the sarentu's wounds no less!
Out of jealousy he says.
Everybody notices the romance between you and So'lek, but you two aren't official, never real and tangible.
Meanwhile the sarentu has been inching closer way faster than you ever could in YEARS. Yes, you were indeed jealous, but jealousy doesn't mean maniac behavior!
You're spiraling, everything is crashing and nothing is right.
How could he assume such thing about you. How. Could. HE.
You trusted him. You thought you could find peace in his warmth, but he was just like everyone.
The light from your eyes vanishes and with a tired laugh your eyes pierce his.
"I trusted you So'lek"
The weeks that pass are harsh.
No one actually believes you plotted against the sarentu, but there's suspicion and layer of insecurities lingering.
Now, you barely come back to HQ and never join parties. You only stick around enough to finish missions.
You avoid, avoid, avoid So'lek.
You don't know if he's seeking you out, but to be precautionary you leave, or get busy when there's a chance of meeting him. (You know his schedule by heart atp)
When the chance of changing station strikes, you request a transfer to the Ometicaya.
They agree and you move away without thinking twice and your Ikran takes off fast, sprinting and angry as much, if not twice as you.
Your baby was bonded with you when you first got banned by your clan and he won't ever sit still again, so he did what he could do best.
He took off and helped you disappear from a place you no longer consider home.
So'lek at first keeps his composure. You only need time, as bad as it sounds, he knows you will crawl back to him
When you avoid him he doesn't think much of it. You're simply throwing a tantrum, it's nothing.
Yet, his heart dulls when he's greeted by the fading of your scent in HQ.
Or when he smells your scent mixed with another. He doesn't want to admit it, but his teeth grit and his head tilts in anger.
It's okay, you can keep running away, mingle with boys who will never satify your needs, it won't last long.
You're his after all.
He pushed back mating just to help you get comfortable. (now he's slightly regretting it)
You were slipping too easily from his fingers and his composure was cracking.
You were going to cry and crawl right back in his arm, weren't you paskalin? The tantrum is going to stop soon, no?
Wrong.
He couldn't have been more wrong.
He got notified about your departure for the Ometicaya's clan a day too late.
He chuckles at the thought
you?
leaving?
him?
In your dreams sevin, in your sweet dreams.
He tried so hard, so fucking hard to stay calm, composed, but now you tested his limits.. and when he catches you (he will), you will suffer the consequences.
I meaaaan..
You wouldn't abandon your mate with a round pregnant belly, would you?
Beginning from zero was never easy, especially for the second time and this time you shatter under the constant pressure.
angst no comfort — final part of two
My brain is fried, I chose to make it a lil funny in the end. Pls spare me
Maybe it was a leap of fate, or maybe Eywa didn't aprove of such quick ending, but minutes after passing out Kiri finds you.
A scream of horror leaves her lips, waking up some Metkayina and Neytiri.
Your body is limp on the sand, blood painting it red and the oxygen mask no longer on your face.
The days after were a blur of chaos and interventions.
Your body wasn't reacting to anything, they barely managed your breathing, but you weren't collaborating, body unresponsive and Norm didn't know what to do.
The Tsahik, Ronal, came to aid, she was an healer, despite your demon blood she saw your kindred heart.
Leaving the Marui her gaze is heavy.
As the Tsahik, she understands the family dynamic and instead of calling Neytiri aside, she calls Jake.
Her tone serious, strong and fit for her role.
"Your daughter doesn't want to live, that's why she isn't waking up"
Jake eyes widen briefly, that can't be true.
"My daughter isn't weak willed" he states harshly.
"Jake Sully" Ronal's tone is stricter now, she doesn't accept disdain on the truth.
His lips press together and he nods in respect before leaving the tent.
His daughter, you.. a strong willed and spirited child doesn't want to keep living?
That doesn't sound right. At all.
The only person waiting for news outside the tent is Kiri, Tsireya not far behind.
"How is she dad?"
His eyes soften as he hugs Kiri.
"She'll be fine.. you know how strong your sister is, don't worry"
The lie doesn't last long.
Your condition gets worst by the day and you nearly die over two times in the span of a week.
Kiri is deathly afraid. She begs the Great Mother to do something, but the feeling that lingers after making tsaheylu leaves her sick.
You don't wanna live.
Spider is even more worried, because you're the only person he mainly clings to whenever he can and you're human, just like him.
You share the same problems (and more) and you're always there for him.
It makes his heart ache when Kiri whispers the truth.
You don't want to live..? That can't be true, you were always eager to prove yourself, to show the others your warm heart and strong spirit.
As the reality crashes, he realizes one thing, or two.
You were always left behind by your own family and while he was an afterthought in the Sullys, that was your family. Your actual blood dad and siblings.
Tuk doesn't understand why an heavy silence settles over the family and Kiri doesn't want to tell her.
Lo'ak feels like a pure failure, he already lost his older brother, now he's losing a sister. The person he trusts the most.
He can only think about his last words to you, they were fueled by anger that shouldn't have been redirected toward you.
He fidgets with the armband you made for him and the words he yelled at you that afternoon echo in his mind.
'You're not real family anyway'
'You don't understand, you won't ever understand real pain'
'You're a demon'
'Useless'
Ah.. he ruined something again.
Kiri is distraught. She recognizes how she's at fault for your condition and it pains her to know you've been suffering all this time.
You're her sister, you two usually chat and giggle about nature, silly fun facts and you always stand up for her. Not with violence, but with grounding words and soothing lullabies.
Meanwhile Jake doesn't understand, or maybe he does.
He admits he started viewing you as a small weight admist the traveling to another clan, the RDA, the kidnappings, the fact you couldn't do what na'vi or avatar did.. but he cheerished you with his whole damn heart, but it wasn't enough.
Words are nice to hear, but actions prove the truth behind them.
Neytiri feels guilty.
You see her as your mother and she doesn't see you as her daughter.
She cares for you, but when the word 'mom' slips she can't help but go still.
She did you dirty and she's very sorry, now please come back.. she will make it right.
Everyone will baby girl, just open your eyes..
Many moons rise and set, but your condition stays the same.
When Neytiri reluctantly choses to tell Tuk the truth about your disappearance, she bursts in tears.
With childish guilt she knows she should have asked you to spend more time together.
She just chose not to because you couldn't do all the fun activities!
When you wake up you start crying, loudly and in a fussy way.
You try to move, but someone is holding you.
Your look at your hands and...
Baby hands?!
Baby blue hands???!!
Then you hear it, your dad voice! And Neytiri..? Why is she holding you..
Lo'ak not far behind, Kiri is staring and Tuk is excited for new siblings. Twins! A boy and a girl.
Looks like you and Neteyam got a second chance and with glances you realize what the fuck just happened
Taglist :
@italy4life @iluvberriesss @mrscadethankya @myeyesaredry (i didn't tag some of the people who asked bcz I couldn't find their account + I tagged the comments)
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Warnings: canon divergent, FAA spoilers, mentions of kiri being in love with Spider, Lo'ak is a lil bastard, reader is well mannered and straightforward (maybe a lil too much), readers stands up for spider.
Two-shot, final part coming soon <3 lmk what you think! follows, likes, reposts and comments always cheer me up !!
Spider sees himself as an afterthought. Someone who can be discarded easily.
He doesn't blame anyone for letting him believe such atrocities, but he keeps their actions and words close to the heart.
The Sully showed him how fast they could ditch him, the RDA just wants him for his biology and the na'vi hardly accept him.
His body still trembles at the thought of Neytiri nearly piercing his heart and it feels like a betrayal how fast they were ready to drop him to the Tlalim clan.
He has a bitter taste in his tongue when he remembers Jake holding a knife to his neck and the countless tests ran by the RDA.
Again, he doesn't hold any grudges, he understand. He cares.
He just needs unconditional love and someone who approves of him for who he is.
Despite the deep hatred he has for Quaritch, Spider knows how he would tear Pandora down for him and (maybe) admist the chaos he appreciates it.
At the same time he can't possibly betray the family that raised and cared for him. Especially his childhood friends, they were as innocent as him in this whole ordeal.
Everything changed when you acidentally fell in his life. Quite literally.
Another human, same age, barely different story.
The difference was how you grew up with the friendly scientists and never went out, until some weeks ago.
And that's how you flung yourself in his life.
You had to run an errand extremely close to the Ometicaya clan, you weren't very keen on doing it, but the scientists forced you to.
The Olo'yektan and Tsahik were informed and it was no problem on their side.
You were walking around, very aware of your surroundings and scared of every little sound.
A knife in your hand and a prayer in the other. The scientists said you were in safe grounds and taking any metal weapons was not ideal.
A sigh escapes your lips and you flinch when you acidentally step on a branch.
The day goes accordingly and slowly you adapt. Feeling more confident you start skipping around, small sounds no longer frighten you and the knife hangs loose from your bag.
Until you acidentally run too fast, step too close to the edge and start falling.
Your scream echos in the forest while you fall. Tears gather in your eyes and you believe this is the end of your (perhaps) miserable life, but you feel arms wrap around your body and a soft amused boy going "woah, woah girl"
You grip whoever caught you and bury yourself in his arms. Fuck etiquette you nearly fell to your death.
Slowly you open your eyes and see it's another human, very handsome too. Dressed in na'vi.. hmm.. well whatever.
"Thank you" your cheeks are red, a grin finds your face and you keep holding on this unknown boy.
Many months go by and you slowly creep your way inside his life.
At first you meant reeeeally well, you owed him your life afterall, but then your heart took control.
He was so perfect, handsome, kind, he could even breath without a mask, he knew how to move around, talk fluent na'vi and everything in the book.
He was everything and so much more, but he didn't seem to notice.
The people around him cared, you weren't hypocrit enough to say they didn't, but a feeling of him not belonging always lingered in the na'vi's eyes, even scientists.
You didn't blame them. Humans ruined everything, but Spider was just 16, like you. You don't mean any harm and you're sure he means even less harm. For obvious reasons.
Spider starts seeking you out after growing close to you and also because he was able to confide.
Similiar yet different, but enough to understand the deep rooted pain in his chest.
He didn't belong.
That's what he whispered to you one night. Your arms leaning against his chest, one leg on top of his and rhythmic breathing.
"But you do" your words are not arrogant, nor fierce, but a quiet truth that helps mending his broken 'cup'.
You two spend the whole night chatting, humming, confessing ugly truths and heavy lies.
You stare at the beautiful sky, his eyes closed, his hands around your body, but the moment ends when your mask starts beeping and the world doesn't slow down twice.
You part ways with an hug and a smile.
It doesn't mean anything, he tells himself.
The conversations, the hugs, the whispers under the endless stars and Eywa.
Spider lies again when Kiri asks.
"Just friends" both know the truth, none press further.
It's unsettling the way his breath catches when your eyes scan the room to find him.
It's maddening how he believes he's worth nothing when he's everything to you.
It's groundbreaking how your steps never falter to jump on him.
It's fulfilling how his arms always wrap around your waist to catch you.
Deep down Kiri knows the truth. The Great Mother showed Spider's path, but she selfishly, for once, took something not meant for her.
His first kiss, Kiri allowed herself to believe the message wasn't real, but lies don't last forever. Especially those whose truth was laid before your eyes.
Yet, even after acknowledging the fact, she still chose to clings a bit longer to the boy she fell for.
The Sullys aren't stupid. They notice. They see. They act.
Spider is more joyful, always hanging around this new human girl.
Kiri is more.. quiet? In a way. Reserved. Always glancing at the two humans with longing hetched in her bones.
Neytiri simply comforts her daughter, Jake tries to distract his baby girl, Tuk plays more with her older sister and Lo'ak... he does his best to separate you and Spider.
It's petty, childish and stupid, he knows, but he can't see Kiri in such state. It's not fair. She saved him and Spider. Both at the brink of death. She deserves whatever she wants.
At first you didn't notice, nor did Spider.
Lo'ak needs him at the hunting grounds (he usually shooes everyone away).
Tuk whines about wanting to play only with Kiri and Spider (she always include new people).
Neytiri looks away (perhaps not wanting to see her daughter sad a minute longer)
And Jake was too busy to notice, or he would obviously stop them (would he?)
It was subtle at first, Spider didn't mind spending more time with his favorite people and you weren't selfish enough to whine about it.
Yet, the pattern showed and you unshockingly brought it up at a family's dinner.
A sigh leaves your lips, invited for dinner only to watch Spider and Kiri act intimate, because for some reason Lo'ak wanted to be forcibly seated to his side and Tuk to Kiri's.
"Well.." you mutter awkwardly
They all glance at you.
"I don't mean to be too blunt, or uhm, rude I guess, but this whole charade has to end"
Spider mouth opens and closes. You two talked about this. He won't stop you, he knows you mean well and his family has to understand.
"I love Spider." Your first words are clear, piercing like an arrow straight to the heart.
They all fall silent and Spider cheeks go pink from the admission. It was obvious, but you two never said it out loud.
You take a breath and keep talking.
"Lo'ak always calling for him when we have dates won't stop my heart from beating for him, nor when little Tuk shooes me away to let Kiri and Spider play with her, or when Neytiri daughter of Mo'at looks away to her children antics, or when"
Your eyes scan the room for a second, sensing the tension, you see how Toruk Makto is side eyeing you for talking about his mate in such way, but he doesn't stop you.
"Or when Toruk Makto glances and feigns misinterpretation of the situation"
His lips pursue and Neytiri slightly hisses when you talk about her mate, but you weren't lying. You bare the childish truth in a sliver platter and her mouth reluctantly shuts.
"And this whole dinner.. invited me for what? To witness Kiri and Spider act intimate? I see how close and knitted together this family is and I don't blame anyone, but this is getting annoying quickly"
No one speaks up, silence fills any remaining gaps.
Your words were honest, not unkind, but clearly over their bullshit.
"From what I gathered Kiri has feelings for Spider. If that's the truth, then be loud about it, ask, talk, clear whatever you have going on, because I won't leave Spider unless he asks me to."
You look at Kiri in the eyes.
Your stare isn't mean, mad, angry or jealous, you're giving her a chance to prove herself to the boy she loves.
"He has been an afterthought for so long, he has been waiting his whole life for someone to makes him feel seen and real, not whatever you adults, na'vi, RDA, friends or scientists do!"
You get up with a deep sigh, you were done with this nonsense.
"Thank you for having me tonight, but I'll take my leave. I can't possibly eat at the table with people who should care, love and be honest with such a sweet boy like Spider, be so spiteful and arrogant"
After that dinner's night you avoided the hometree of the Omaticaya, it's not like you had any reason to go there anyway.
You highkey weren't in the mood to deal with their petty behaviors and if Spider wanted to talk, he could walk to where you were stationed.
Miles Quaritch, a father of two. He had a son, Spider, whom he loved to death and a daughter. Forgotten, buried with the overwhelming grief that took away his late wife.
Between the chaos, the kidnappings, the desire for revenge, the destroying and the painful need to keep going, there was you.
Forgotten, left behind.
You had your little brother taken from your arms.
At barely six/seven years old you were met with flashing lights, unknown na'vi, sounds, voices and the sting of having your remaining bundle of light taken away.
You should have been sent back to Earth, but your cryo had malfunctioned and now you were stuck on Pandora. Unlike your brother, you were sent to a lab far away from the na'vi.
Only the scientists remained to take care of you. They were kind, but none took a parental figure in your life.
You clearly remember your mother.. and your father.
An ache settles in your chest. Your baby brother. You know he must have stayed on Pandora too, but where?
You searched files, asked around, even shouted his name in the forest out of desperation, but nothing. Or perhaps, you just didn't notice the glowing plants leading you further inside.
You hit your 20th birthday. Nightmares fill the nights and void fills the day.
You try your best to stay cheerful, but it's hard.
The days repeat, you're not too interested in watching plants, or looking at animals from far away. Everything on Pandora was beautiful, but you longed for something more. A family, a bond stronger than everything.
When the chance came up, you chose to visit the Ometicaya, it was the golden opportunity.
What you didn't expect was for the past to hatch in your present.
Despite the deprecating way you viewed yourself, the na'vi didn't mind your company as you studied their ways.
You were calm, peaceful and the people relaxed around you. A soothing soul.
The meeting between the Sully's children and you was unexpected.
You were reading a book under the sun, huddled in a corner and then..
"Ouch" you gasp, a ball was thrown at your head.
"skxawng! You hit someone!"
"It's not my fault!"
"Go apologize"
They were bickering while you looked at them perplexed. You swiftly got up.
"Here's your ball" your smile is kinda awkward, but not unkind.
"Thank you" one says while hitting the other.
"What was that for!?"
"Bro say sorry to the scientist!"
You softly chuckle at their silly fights.
"Uhm, sorry" he finally says before storming off with his (you assume) brother trailing behind.
The days moved quickly, there was always something to do and slowly the children swarmed around you with their silly games and fights.
The first time you saw him, you were with Neteyam and Lo'ak, they kept dragging you inside their village for playtime.
Their parents, Jake Sully and Neytiri didn't mind too much. Especially because you were quite harmless and gentle with everyone and everything.
Then, Kiri joined too, she was so adorable and connected to Eywa in magical ways, you saw it and for some reason she always said she had to go and stay with the monkey boy.. you chuckled and just nodded.
Lo'ak and Neteyam also ran off, talking about dragging Kiri and Spider to play alltogether, you included.
When they rush back, there's a little human boy behind them, pulling at their tails, laughing, talking in na'vi, with blondish locks, blue stripes and eyes just like your parents. You freeze.
"Miles?" The name leaves your lips faster than you can process it.
Neytiri eyes snap at you, the children brows furrow in confusion and Spider stops.
The world slows, or maybe it's just you and tears drip down your cheeks.
"Baby brother?" You mutter softly. This was hopeless, you knew, even if he was your little brother, how could he remember you? They took him away from you when he was just a baby.
Your lips pursue and Neytiri slowly walks in your view. Her expression complicated and she nods to the children to go play elsewhere.
The afternoon is spent talking, about your pain, about spider, about anything really.
Neytiri comforts you and tells you that Eywa must have predicted this day. The suffering wasn't lost. The bond is ready to be created.
Two years pass, not a lot, but you and Spider warm up quickly and he ends up being such a clingy sibling.
Always attached to the hip when he's not with the Sully. You find it amusing.
Everything is well, until he gets kidnapped for the first time and now you're left alone, scared, all over again.
Despite the warnings, you go after the RDA. They can't mess with your little brother. Ever.
The surprise attack ends up with you bruised and captured alongside him, at least you can keep him safe now.
Quaritch, your dad, or at least the memories of him show up. The one in front of you was just.. a fake, you were sure. He died.
When his eyes meet yours recognition sparks. He was here to talk to his son, but your eyes. Your expression. You. Memories flood back in.
Your relationship with Wukula was always strained, broken, fear made his chest tremble whenever a smile left your lips, you were weak.
A member of the clan that was barely accepted and he.. he was the opposite. Nothing like you and you were nothing like him.
Listen to: "I can't do it no more" by Fevr while reading <3
you say lookup you smile while looking at him
there’s so much to live for a loud laugh escapes your lips as you playfully grab his tail. Wukula took you with him to go check on the human allies and stopped when you asked to go touch the water. He knows he shouldn't soften up, not like this. Not with you.
i hold your hand On his ikran you hold him tightly, fearless.
dreaming of nowhere your usual chatter slow, the nature enchanted and overwhelmed your senses. His teeth grit. Why can't you be strong? Why do you have to be so.. so weak?
you hit a dead stop you reasume your endless rambling and his heart beats loudly, despite himself
fighting the cold war Wukula feels hatred for your softness, how your sparkling eyes have him captivated. No matter how many women he fucks, or tries to catch feelings for, none compare to you.
sometimes i feel i your eyes lower on the nature below while he's distracted
can’t do it no more a smile of awe forms, in a way, you know you don't belong in the Mangkwan clan. There was something so captivating about Eywa and it's children.
i can’t do it no more you glance at Wukula, your relationship with him was always strange, strained, full of feelings yet deprived of everything
you told me it was all gonna pass soon at the human camp, you cling behind Wukula, he growls
its been years looking back in the rear view your hands clasp behind your back. Right, no weakness.
(its been years looking back in the rear view) you let out a small sigh under your breath, meanwhile Wukula is busy talking with the humans in a decent way. You look behind the camp, a deer catches your eye. Its eyes so full, like yours.
i want to close my eyes as you walk deeper in the camp, the world looks smaller, suffocating.
and to disappear you scan Wukula's back, he's.. so proud and fierce. He belongs, you don't.
take me away from here you let out a quiet whimper at the brutal sight of the animals. Used as thropies.
take me away from here Wukula doesn't notice, or fakes not to. This is weakness. Something he can't afford.
you say lookup after hopping back on his ikran he slowly pats your thigh, in comfort. Your eyes soften and you lean against his back.
there’s so much to live for moments like these fill your heart with hope
i hold your hand he's soft sometimes and you know he shouldn't be. He can't possibly chose you as a mate either, you're the worthless member of the clan. Even children do better than you at fighting.
dreaming of nowhere your head lays against his back, eyes closed, you hope for a better future, him included.
you hit a dead stop after a few months, something heart shattering happens. Varang promised Wukula to one of the fiercest female warriors. Your ears snap on your skull, tail swishes.
fighting the cold war at night, while he spends it leasurely with the warrior, you cry, soft sobs all over the place and sommething in you snaps.
You run away. You never tried, but the heartache was too deep, too strong. Your heart screams for freedom, he's the only reason you stuck around and now.. there's nothing holding you back.
For all you care, they can kill you.
sometimes i feel i the escape was surreal, you did it. You managed to leave that haunted place and now?
can’t do it no more no clan would ever accept you and your heart was still too soft, you wouldn't sell them for shelter.
i can’t do it no more a day, then a week and a month go by. You know you're being watched by the Omatikaya. It's tiring. Every bone in your body is screaming for peace.
you told me it was all gonna pass soon surprisingly, they accepted you in the clan.
it’s been years looking back in the rear view everyone is respectful, even if deeply suspicious, but that's okay. No one treats you too badly.
(it’s been years looking back in the rear view) at night, you dream of what could have been between you and Wukula. You miss him dearly, but the Omatikaya, the other clans, Eywa.. it was worth trading it for a love you thought infinte.
i want to close my eyes it still hurts, the ache doesn't stop simply because you want it to, but with the pass of the years it soothes.
and to disappear the allarm for the attacks rings. You're quick to grab your bow and knife while staying in second position to the fight
take me away from here your breath quickens, if it's the RDA, first position will end them quickly, if it's another clan, like the Mangkwan it will reach your position
take me away from here by the shouts and the flames, you realize it's the Mangkwan and RDA. Your lips press in a thin line. Facing the past you forcibly left behind wasn't something you wanted to do, but you can't back down now.
The Ometikaya is your clan, worth fighting for.
you say lookup scanning your surroundings you start taking down the demons and bruising the Mangkwan clan's warriors without being noticed, leaving them to the Ometikaya to finish.
there’s so much to live for Wukula thought you were dead, gone for. That night he barely contained himself from tearing apart that warrior's neck and cutting her kuru. Varang in the morning heard about the commotion and chose to separate the two. After all, Wukula is the best, her most loyal and devoted follower.
i hold your hand Wukula saw it, the back of your bow, the favorite flower decorating it, you beamed about it so many times, until his ears bleed and heart jumped out of his ribs.
dreaming of nowhere He saw you. A glimpse. In the air, shooting arrow after arrow. With a fire so strong it burned his loyalty to a mere string. Oh how he missed you.
you hit a dead stop A bullet hits your arm, a loud cry tores from your lips. You hiss and run in a secluded corner. You don't notice Wukula. You don't remember his scent, but he does. He stalks closer.
fighting the cold war "txeptsyìp" you freeze and so does he. His tone soft, weak, so unlike him. You look up. "Wukula" you whisper his name, but the winds carry it fiercely.
sometimes i feel i an heartbeat, then two and you're buried in his arms
can’t do it no more both knew the ending was doomed. One hoped, while the other denied. You were tired and he.. he just wanted you for himself.
i can’t do it no more you grip your knife and so does he.
Writing this as i fall asleep, no proofread as u probably noticed and yeah, will fix tmrw morning
Beginning from zero was never easy, especially for the second time and this time you shatter under the constant pressure.
angst no comfort — last part posted
It was like any other night, your family asleep in the marui after seeking uturu from the Metkayina.
The last few weeks were slow, taking your spirit like fire spreading in a forest. Everything was suffocating, excruciating, nothing you did was ever right and everything was wrong.
You were the eldest, Jake had you before he became an avatar.
You curl up against the sand, the moon shining on your skin, the mask heavy on your skin, your fingers gripping the sand like it could give you answers.
A tear slips, then another.
A human.
The thoughts of the na'vi were so obvious, plastered on their faces and reflected in their eyes.
You were barely accepted because of your status as Toruk Makto's daughter and proving yourself useful turned out to be unsuccessful.
Unlike your brothers and sister you couldn't breath Pandora's air, or adapt to the waters, you weren't their full sister either. It left a deepache in your chest.
A ragged breath leaves your lips.
Yesterday you managed to piss of Lo'ak, he started spouting mean words. You know he doesn't mean any of it, or maybe he does and you're just trying to make it hurt less.
Around a week ago Kiri sighed tiredly after you couldn't help her find the shells she asked you to find on the beach for the fifth fime, to make a bunch of healing stuff.
Then Tuk asked to play, but you had to reject her, the water current was still too strong for you. It wasn't easy. She pouted, but also understopd. Smart girl, but never asked to play again, because deep down she labeled you as unavaiable.
And let's not talk about Neteyam, you know he cares, but he also deems you as useless, in a way. Unlike Spider you couldn't even raise a bow without trembling.
Your parents.. well.. Neytiri... a sob escapes your lips at the thought, she never corrected you when you called her mom, but she wasn't very pleased either. The way her ears slightly went back and lips parted to say something, only to get a look from Jake.
Oh, it hurted. So much. Everything ached. Every look and sigh of disappointment made you drown in hatred. You didn't ask to be born either, it was unfair.
Jake loves you, he's your dad, the only one you share blood with and while he doesn't force you to act like military with him, he still looks at you like you're a burden.
You remember the days in your childhood when it was only him and you, sometimes Neytiri too.
You hear a faint crack from your heart, you get up from the beach and start walking toward the water, no one allowed you, your body too fragile they said, or maybe they just didn't want you to taint their waters.
Whatever reason, you dip your feet in the water and a smile finds your lips. The moon is shining so brightly.
Every effort, every word was reduced to nothing. You were human, worthless, useless, nothing good, a demon.
Your breath slows, then it becomes ragged. Your mask was slipping off, it has been malfunctioning lately and with the drowning feelings, you didn't bother fixing it back on.
You sat on the beach, every beep was silenced, every cry muffled. Then it completely went off.
You start coughing, the air was killing you.
A last tear slips as you pray to Eywa for a better life.
Human!reader, a very important part of the resistance, age not yet confirmed, missions always completed, cool headed, ready to bite back when necessary and a kuruless ikran.
Your plan was to grant it mercy and send the bird back to Eywa, after all it was kuruless, a now wild animal even to its creator with no purpose other than to inflict pain, simple as that, but as soon as you took a weapon out a fucking brench fell on it, repeatedly.
You took it as a sign to not kill it. From it's features it was obviously a newborn ikran, with a sigh you walk away, but it follows.
And keeps on following.
The whole damn day.
Your eye start twitching, that bird was making everything more difficult.
Though, reluctantly, you must admit it was rather adorable and with a striking decision you take it in.
Luckily you had your own house, very small further away from the HC and hidden by the nature.
You took the ikran there, so one would question its appearance.
Every day you fed it, took it on walks like a dog on earth, tried to teach it tricks.. (as hard as it sounds)
Within months it grew, but it was so hella clingy, like a puppy.
It was funny, really, a human and a kuruless creature from Eywa slowly create a bond stronger than pain.
When the na'vi and resistance found out.. well.. questions everywhere, suspicion, fear spiked, but you didn't care.
This was your ikran, your baby. You wouldn't trade her for anything else.
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