Universe 11-N: DnD Workshoping

She almost exclusively plays video games, tho sometimes she reviews the quality and cuteness of plushies. Sometimes she updates people on her quokki pet's level or how her personal AC Island looks, or her longest running Stardew Farm. (Maru IS her favorite Stardew marriageable NPC because it reminds her of her "loser boyfriend".)

Sometimes she gets her friends to play games with her on stream, or they're just in the background hanging out. Once when a game comes out that Mary Ann is legit excited for (in her own way) everyone gathers in a little watch party in the background with snacks as they settle in for the Marathon stream about to happen.

If she misses some streams she probably tosses out a simple update about her and her friends being on a quest or something similar that she implies is kinda lame. Her watchers KNOW she's an adventurer but there is never any elaboration.

They also know she has a boyfriend but known VERY little about him.

Loser Boyfriend™️ Confirmed Facts

1. Loser

2. His quokki pets gameplay is trash

3. Also an adventurer ig

4. Plays drums sometimes

5. They officially met when she curb-stomped his ass at a sports tryouts and he got mad. (No elaboration)

6. He made her a switch capable of running ROMhacks and mods.

7. Half-orc. The only times they have ever seen him is once or twice when he wordlessly hands her a mango soda from off screen. They have an entire emote of his hand with the soda bottle they spam sometimes. (#bottleboi)

Which is to say when Gorgug shows up in the background of the stream one day, cause Mary Ann rearranged or was streaming from somewhere else temporarily, people start freaking out.

Mary Ann notices but only comments "yeah, that's my loser boyfriend. Don't worry about it."

THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE MARY ANN!!!

THAT'S GORGUG THISTLESPRING, FAMOUS 4X WORLD SAVING RENOWN ADVENTURER BEFORE HE EVEN FINISHED HIGHSCHOOL, THE FIRST EVER BARBIFICER IN THE WORLD, AND GODDAMN FAMOUS ROCK STAR.

YOU CALL HIM YOUR LOSER BOYFRIEND?????

"His quokki pets gameplay is trash."

Kristen- Cleric teacher obviously. I think she's the most powerful and best cleric in the world, or at the very least Elmville even if she stumbles a lot. I think her background as helioic/solesian, who created her own god and found then revived another gives her a very unique perspective for any young clerics out there. I also think as someone who worships a pantheon it would work like Yolanda giving up her path of following a single god to be more fair to the students she teaches, unlike Bobby Dawn. Kristen has made as many mistakes as you can as a cleric so she would be a very good person to teach kids who might have anxiety about their choices.

Fabian- Bard Teacher, dance and sword. Corsica is a young woman as the fighter teacher so there's no real reason to replace her when the bad kids come of age. Fabian also drifted away from fighter so hard to bard it's clear where his heart is even if he's still an amazing fighter. I think he would be the teacher that brags about being the future and present of dance, along with being the Oracool of Dance to his students. He also has made a lot of steps from his stumbles in his school days and assures his students it's okay to fail, it's okay to wallow but you do have to pick yourself up still. Seacaster manor is still used as a study hall for any students who need it and his is the teacher willing to help any and all students, no matter the class or grade

Gorgug- Barbarian teacher. While I think artificing has his heart more, I could see Gorgug as an amazing Barbarian teacher. His goal is to undo a lot of the toxic aspects of rage and being a barbarian that people like Porter tried to force upon the class and the students taking it. He teaches about the positives of rage, that while it's a strong weapon, it can be an amazing shield to protect people. He is also the main multiclass advisor, he never refuses an MCAT request, he does ask questions but to let students talk about their interests not to make thing think their ideas are stupid or pointless

Riz- Rogue teacher. I think Riz starts to work for the CoC (Council of Chosen) for a bit after graduation, but doesn't like it since it feels more like Narc shit than spy work like his dad did. He's more fair than Yolanda, he is on school grounds more so kids have a chance to find him instead of having to go to a town miles away to find Eugenia. He focuses on the practical application of being a rogue, stressing that it's more than just damage for sneak attack. Being a rogue is about team work to make sneak attack easier, knowing your terrain to making hiding easier and not to jump into lava when you're not fire resistant or immune, investigating things not just focus on killing people

Fig- Sorcery teacher. Obviously she wouldn't be the bard teacher. She didn't go to bard classes as a student, why would she go as a teacher, despite being one of the most famous musicians in Spire. At first it seems like she's just another Jace, you know just hanging with her students instead of really teaching because sorcery is innate. But she's actually very good with them, she actually has experience in knowing what it's like to get powers from your blood instead of hard work. she also encourages her students to try multiclassing since they have time at school, she doesn't want them wasting the time they have when their young. Hackysack is fun, but they should try things when they're young and can get easy A's so try other class.

You wear a face that is not your own. You were designed to die.

You wear a face that gets you recognized around the grounds of a school you are not enrolled at (you aren't enrolled at any school.) You live in the same house as the person you were supposed to be. She has the right voice, stands the right way, wears her clothes correctly. When you look like her, you feel wrong. You see all the parts of yourself that are wrong, the makeup you wear, your style, your mannerisms. You can only see all the parts of yourself that fall short of her, but, any closer, wouldn't feel like you.

You are at a party. You don't know anyone her besides her friends (they are the only people you have ever known, but they never know what to make of you.) They helped you enroll in your own school, one that won't know you, one that won't know her. The other day you were desperate, uncertain and panicked. You took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. She never had to worry about that. She never has to worry about disappearing. The steps were confusing, you could've done it wrong. There is a rumble in the ground and you all leap to action, you're loading cannons, healing people, sharing the blessing of her deity (you never really bothered to ask her about all that.)

You are needed on the roof. You can feel it. The storm is thick and choking, the spray of clouds forces your eyes partly closed. You take stumbling steps towards her. She is on her knees. You've seen her pray before, but something about this is different. You can't tell if its tears or mist pooling on her face. You can't tell if its the pains of combat or the strain of heartbreak contorting her expression. The prayer itself feels wrong too, less holy and more personal. You follow her gaze.

The words leave your lips before you realize, an automatic reaction to the mammoth mess of wind and cloud and hate: "Blimey." There is a face in the storm. Monumental, twisting, grotesque, but a face nonetheless. You are good at recognizing faces. She looks a bit... No. It is grotesque. Monstrous. The face you see in nightmares. Lightning cracks and whips around you. You feel something deep and heavy click in your chest as lighting cracks inside the storm. It looks exactly like her. It looks exactly like you.

And She is beautiful.

It was awe that clicked in your chest. Fear and hope. Awful and awesome. Sublime. Recognition of a power that is beyond yourself.

You don't know what will happen to you if you survive tonight. You don't know how long you live. You don't know where you go when you die.

But you need to reach Her. You place a hand on her shoulder and take a step towards the roiling clouds, towards It. You can reach her, that is all that is certain.

"I don't know if you heard me,"

The face contorts with rage and fear. It knows not what it is. It is everything that is wrong with Her. It will destroy you, when you return Her. That's O.K.

"But I said—"

You were designed to die.

Lightning envelops you as uncertainty replaces fear. It burns your hands, clasped in prayer, it singes your lips, forming the words of your impromptu, awestruck prayer. It's lightning is not what destroys you though. You feel the prayer work as a peace in all the chaos of your life becomes clear, waves of cool night and weighty cosmic power flow through you, calling you home.

You die a person.

Before previews for March of the Machine officially begin, I thought it would be fun to do another of my Duelist-style teasers where I give tiny hints of things to come. Note that I’m only giving you partial information. 

First up, here are some things you can expect: 

• Numerous cards that mechanically care about Phyrexians

• A double-faced token (one that transforms)

• A card that costs XUUUU

• A variant of a mechanic returns to a premier set for the second time since it originally appeared

• A legendary creature returns not seen since Homelands

• A creature capable of dealing eleven poison counters

• Some planes show up in card names that have never done so before

• Wrenn returns with a new partner

• Two draft archetypes that have a creature type matters component (one of which is Phyrexians - see above)

• The tenth _____ & _____ sword

Next, here are some rules text that will be showing up on cards: 

• “You may cast spells with flash or flying from the top of your library.”

• “an Aura, God or Demigod card”

• “where X is the excess damage dealt this way.”

• “This spell can’t be copied.”

• “Activate only if you’ve cast two or more spells this turn.”

• “Each player can’t cast more than one non-Phyrexian spell each turn.”

• “X twice, where X is the number of lands you control.”

• “Whenever a permanent you control transforms or a permanent enters the battlefield under your control transformed,”

• “If the opponent protects it, remove a defense counter from it.”

• “At the beginning of your upkeep, if you haven’t been dealt combat damage since your last turn, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.”

Finally, here are some Phyrexians in the set:

• Creature – Phyrexian Bear Rhino

• Creature – Phyrexian Devil

• Creature – Phyrexian Dog Warrior

• Creature – Phyrexian Jackal

• Creature – Phyrexian Samurai

• Creature – Phyrexian Shade

• Creature – Phyrexian Shark

• Creature – Phyrexian Treefolk

• Creature – Phyrexian Viashino

• Creature – Phyrexian Weird

And some creature type lines of denizens fighting them:

• Creature – Moonfolk Ninja

• Creature – Aetherborn Vampire

• Creature – Fungus Rabbit

• Creature – Dwarf Pilot

• Creature – Raccoon Warrior

• Creature – Goblin Spellshaper

• Creature – Wolverine Dinosaur

• Legendary Creature – Elder Giant Dog

• Legendary Creature – Ape Dinosaur Turtle

• Legendary Creature – Cyclops Homunculus