Fanon : Aang never cared for Katara ās ambitions since he was too busy being the Avatar or goofing off. After they married, Katara was nothing more than a trophy wife to Aang.
Canon : Aang has been supportive of Katara since day one. Need I remind you that he offered to take Katara to north pole so that she could also learn water bending. He couldāve easily refused Katara ās request if he didnāt care about Katara ās ambitions and go to North Pole all by himself since he had Appa and was already a good enough air bender that he could protect himself. But he didnāt do that because he wanted to help Katara. Also, when Pakku refuses to teach Katara water bending because she is a girl, it was Aang who refused to learn water bending from him because he wouldnāt want learn from a master who didnāt teach Katara and vehemently protested against even if he didnāt have any other source to learn water bending. It is only on Katara ās insistence that he agrees to it. Even then, he secretly teaches Katara all the water bending moves he had learned, knowing well that this might snatch his only chance to learn water bending. When Katara starts to teach him water bending, he shows all due respect and appreciates her help and is her biggest #1 fan consistently. Also, after her marriage to Aang, Katara was more than Aang ās ātrophy wifeā. She was regarded as one of the worldās bestĀ if not the best healers, she fought for blood bending to be banned (showing that she was very much active in politics), she taught water bending to the next Avatar. Donāt know how it sounds to you, but to me it sounds like that Aang showed Katara plenty of support and never considered her ambitions or needs to be beneath his.
Fanon : Aang never gave enough consideration to Katara ās emotional needs. Katara was the one who had to do all the emotional lifting and she was practically Aang ās mom.
Canon : While on surface, this argument might look like it has merit but it feeds off of racist and sexist trope of the mom!Katara that reduces Katara as the āmomā or ācaretakerā of the group with her emotional needs never taken in consideration. The thing is, that Katara has had to look after everyone ever since her momās death and her father leaving the tribe for war. She is expected to do all the chores, look after her brother Sokka and the war forces her to grow up and become more mature than a child her age should be. However, that doesnāt mean that Katara providing verbal affirmations to Aang when heās feeling sad is to be seen as her being the ācaretakerā in the relationship. Theyāre friends and it is pretty normal to want to cheer up your friend when theyāre feeling sad. Plus, those kind of interactions arenāt the only kind of interactions Katara and Aang have. Often times, it is Aang who makes sure that Katara has fun like penguin sledding with her, amusing her with his antics, gifting her a hand made necklace and going to a mountain top to bring a rare flower (the plan mightāve failed because of the volcano but the emotion behind it stands) speak volumes just how much Aang wants to make Katara happy. It is by Katara ās admission that Aang brought back something that had been missing from her life : fun! Thatās why she likes Aang so much; he knows how to have fun and she doesnāt have to pretend to be the āmatureā one who is expected to not do any kind of child like activities and have fun. My point is, Aang never treats Katara as his ācaretakerā and Katara had plenty of fun in Aang ās company and let go of all her burdens, even if it is for a moment.
Fanon : But Aang stopped Katara from killing her motherās killer! Zuko fully supported her and he is the only one who understands Katara ās trauma of losing her mother. Aang is always trying to force his principles on Katara.
Canon : Umm, technically Aang didnāt stop Katara from killing her motherās killer. He wasnāt even there when Katara, on her own, decided to not kill her motherās killer. Aang only expressed his anxiety because he knew the toll of killing a person couldnāt be borne by Katara (and she is just a kid! The fandom loooooves to forget that, donāt they? They just want to a fourteen year old to kill someone for their fanon ship,never taking into account how it would affect a literal fourteen year old to have blood on her hands). And even then, he never stopped Katara from going. He gave Appa to her and didnāt try to stop Katara and Zuko even once during their journey because Aang understood that Katara needed to do this in order to gain closure. And it is solely Katara ās decision when she decided to not kill that man. And as for understanding Katara (and her trauma), Aang gets it how Katara feels because heās been there. Heās a genocide survivor and he lost his culture and all the people he had ever loved and he was so angry and upset over it that he entered in Avatar state and was only bought back when Katara told him that she and Sokka were his family. Aang has already been in Katara ās place (not that their traumas are identical or that either ās trauma was interchangeable or anything like that) and knows the anger, resentment and grief that Katara feels. Also, in that episode, Zuko doesnāt go with Katara just because he has sympathy for Katara ās grief but because he wants to be in her good books since at that time she was the only one in the gaang who didnāt trust Zuko. He doesnāt understand the mental state Katara ās in and how Katara would be affected. He is only focused in winning Katara ās trust back so that he can be fully be a part of the group. At the end of the episode, he is the one who admits that Aang was right and that violence is never the answer. I know it sucks for fans to admit that Zuko was in the wrong but it is true that Zuko was kind of an asshole in the episode.
Fanon : Katara never returned Aangās affections. It was one-sided.
Canon : Yeah sure, kataang was so one-sided. Remember when Katara and Aang kissed in the Cave of Two Lovers? Remember when Katara and Aang kissed before Aang went to face Ozai on the day of black sun? Remember when Katara kissed Aang after the war ended? Remember all the times Katara kissed Aangās cheek, something she doesnāt do to anyone else on the show? Remember how devastated she was when Aang died and how glad and happy she was when Aang came back to life? Remember?????