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@1000yd
ok guys @vildechaye

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ok guys @vildechaye
i will delete this but when i finish watching hunters and i have a jonah blog you will see me.Ā
i made a star wars blog

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@sacricideā, cont.
ā i donāt regret it at all.ā it is overstimulating, the house, the family, the food, but so long as he can catch a breath every now and again, itās worth treading water for. he folds his hands across his stomach and returns the half smile, at ease, which is not something that can be said when barry occupies a room alone. he doesnāt imagine michael inspires that same feeling in everyone, and while itās only an assumption pieced together from the company of other men they served with, he feels special- individual even, which is more important.
Ā Ā Ā ā just promise youāll kick me under the table if i say the wrong thing, iām good at that.Ā āĀ
Barry Berkman from Barry gets pegged!
submitted by @daredyke
title: everbody knows the fight was fixed words:Ā 1080 rating: teenĀ
āIām not gay, but I really want to fuck you man, in like- the gay way.ā Albert laughs like thatās stupidest shit heās ever heard, hard enough that Barry believes it too.
notes:Ā if you say āwho is albertā i donāt think you really watch this show (or you havenāt seen season 2, in which case, get out of here.) anyway, please enjoy! i made myself sad writing this! i wish i was better at writing comedy!
>Ā READ IT
DBAAā.
The safest option here is to just ignore all that other stuff and move swiftly on.Ā āOf course I meant it. You think Iād lie to you? To your face? About your top? Itās a nice top.ā
Wanker.
ā people lie to my face all the time.Ā āĀ this isnāt a jab at her deflection, not intentionally so, but itād be pretty convenient if she takes it that way.Ā barryās train of thought has now made off in an entirely different direction.
ā i think itās got something to do with the way i look, like i think i look gullible. it might be my forehead. itās bigger than average, i got told that in high school a few times.Ā a few times in the marines too.Ā ā
DBAA.
@1000yd
Barryās a total sadsack. You just get this energy off him, like heās never gonna be happy. And god, thatās so hopelessly fucking tragic to even think about for another person, but itās making me feel better just sitting next to him, cos I feel like I have more of a chance now.
Not with him.Ā With ā being happy. God thatās depressing. Although, you know what, heās tall, heās got arms, heās got a jawline, heās got a not-unsubstantial arse. Potential rebound?
āThat top looks nice on you.ā
Donāt look at me like that. He was asking for fashion advice the other day.
he pinches the collar of his shirt self-consciously, pulls it out for a look from which he gains absolutely nothing, and lets it fall back against his chest. if itās a real compliment, if he could confidently tell, heād go right home and order three more in incrementally muted colors.
ā do you mean it? āĀ did she? does she?Ā Ā
āĀ -- what were you saying before that? you were doing sort of a ferris bueller thing off to the side and it got totally lost with all the noise. was it supposed to be a ferris bueller thing? i love that movie. i really resonate with ferris.Ā ā heās obviously a cam.Ā

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BONNMOTā.
@1000yd
āI thought youād prefer everything to plain as everything offers more of an experience in the bite,ā he slides over the bagel in its brown paper bag and lets out a very light laugh, ādoesnāt that sound like something a vampire would say? I promise Iām not trying to get you to eat some of my blood so youāll be my beholden ward for the rest of eternity. Iāve tried to donate it and been turned away for ānot having enoughā so many times.ā
ā if you donāt have ā start air quotes ā enough ā end air quotes,Ā ā you probably are a vampire, man. the only thing is, youāre not trying to get me to eat some of your blood, youāre trying to eat some of my blood. yāknow, for sustenance and- protein? ā barry rips into the bagel, crumbs spilling down his shirt.Ā ā iām pretty confidentĀ thereās protein in blood, and iron, like in spinach. ā
QUICKDRAWYā.
@1000ydā liked
Tim gets a call. Itās near enough to midnight that heād been halfway towards actually sleeping, so when he answers the phone heās verging on groggy and blunt alongside it. It takes him half a minute to actually figure out what heās being asked, if he knows a Barry Berkman. He does know a Barry Berkman, but his brain needs a few seconds to sort through itself and find that information.
By the time he gets up and ready and drives out to the local PD that picked Barry up, heās collected himself enough that none of this makes any sense. Before heād been clammed up with a dim, half-asleep acceptance, Barry being caught somewhere he shouldnāt be and dropping Timās name like a hotcake. Now, Barry being caught somewhere he shouldnāt be is a fact thatās snagged itself in him like a door handle around knit fabric, yanking him back a few steps.
He makes up some bullshit excuse to scoop Barry out without charges ā something about calling in a few favours, and the lot wasnāt owned by anyone anyway, and thereās nobody to really press charges, and he didnāt actually break anything, did he, so really it was just the entering half, and isnāt this America, a free country ā and walks him out to his truck. Heās running on a few beers, but with the exception of what he does during the day at work, heās always driving on a couple. Itās fine ā heās used to it.
Heās a few minutes away from the building before he says, lightly,Ā āSo what the hell was that all about?ā
ā i told you i do work on cars, right? the guy who wants me to work on his car, the reason why iām here, mustāve given me the wrong address to his vehicle -- his ford explorer -- or google maps really fucked up.ā he tries to look hapless, sheepish even, pulling out all the stops just short of batting his eyelashes to sell what is a really shitty lie. even so, even under geneās instruction, itās not good enough to buy. tim will know heās lying, but maybe thatās not the worst thing in the world. better for tim to let barryās skeletons out of the closet while his own back is turned, seeing the look of disappointment firsthand would- well, it wouldnāt be great for his brittle self esteem.Ā
with every passing minute he readjusts his seat, crossing his legs under the dashboard, uncrossing them, leaning pensively towards the window, leaning reluctantly in towards tim. what a stupid idea to come here in the first place, to plan a hit around a vacation thatās planned around rekindling an old old (missing adjective) interest. it was probably one sided back when it started, something borne out of necessity and tons of testosterone. whatever, stupid thought, canāt go down that hole now, it became too late to start regretting things when he crossed state lines.Ā
ā i hope i didnāt like, get you in trouble. you were just on my mind because youāre the only person i actually know here. the car guy doesnāt really count since heās obviously an irresponsible douche. āĀ
Barry 2x01 // 2x08
āI wanted the season to be bookended by Barry coming out of darkness and then retreating into darknessā¦Ā So he lives in the shadows and tried to come out into the light to live this virtuous life, and he just canāt do it. When I watch that, itās this weird acceptance of who he isāĀ
HYDROXISEā.
He holds an easy gaze on Barry, just letting a few breaths come and go in the frosty morning air. The gaze drifts away when he speaks, because he shouldnāt have done that. If heās going to try and put himself above the rest, he can but try.Ā āYeah, good idea. You stay here. Maybe thereāll be some free space by tonight.ā He keeps leaning on the doorway, giving Barry an occasional glance as if he expects a few more visitors.
he doesnāt know how long heās supposed to wait, but by the state of the men let in before tyler stepped out, he can guess itās nothing short of a day. with a sense of dejection thatās not well hidden, barry angles himself away from the doorframe, freeing up a path for anyone to pass him on by. if there was something more than fuchesā missed calls waiting for him at home, heād be gone already, dust. then again, if there was something more than fuchesā missed calls waiting for him at home, heād never have gone to a fight club in the first place.
Ā Ā Ā āĀ can i uh, can i ask what āmaybeā means? is that a bluff to test my resolve or are you really kicking people out?Ā ā

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@hydroxiseā, continued.Ā
Ā Ā ā do i have to wait like everybody else, or are you gonna let me in now because youāre already standing here? āĀ
with the exception of his hands, stuffed inside his jacket pockets, heās stood at attention. elongated spine, puffed up chest. not because heās ready to grovel at tylerās feet, itās just an immovable part of his nature. like the fact that heās a joiner, equally as immovable. ideology didnāt give him cause to walk his ass all the way to paper street, isolation did. the hope that thereās something that can fill the gaping hole hisĀ dishonorable discharge carved out of him.Ā
BIOSCODEā.
i donāt know what he means by that and iām not sure i want to ask. there are drugs in cigarettes, sure, but if theyāre antidepressants then theyāre definitely not working. it almost makes him smile, a hard little curve that wicks away after a second.
barry isnāt really looking at him, but that doesnāt bother him much. he pinches a cigarette between his teeth to light it. the conspicuous lack of the blinking red light on the ceiling that signifies a smoke alarm is, if he were feeling particularly self-critical, an indictment of his instability. heās usually feeling pretty self-critical, but right now he can pass it off by saying that he doesnāt sleep when itās on, that he doesnāt even cook that much anyway, so thereās no real chance that heāll leave something burning and wake up with the entire building on fire.
āyeah. i dunno if you can get like ā really addicted.ā this from an addict. i canāt tell if narcotics anonymous would kick me out or be happy to have me. is it motivational to hear that your addiction is no worse or better than anyone elseās? that itās all the same, synapses and signals, ineedthisineedthis? i donāt know if i need cigarettes so much as i just want them.Ā ālike, either you are addicted or you arenāt, right? thereās no, like, sliding scale.ā
we are loudly avoiding the topic of staying. thatās okay with me.
elliotās a pretty smart guy, barryās ready to take him at his word without the formality of a second opinion. he doesnāt want to believe in the personal threat addiction poses to him anyway. pretending consequences are just short of arms reach is his speciality, his very shitty means of coping without healthcare. when the other shoe drops itās going to flatten him. weāve got some time before that, though. time enough that heād rather spend here, in bed, next to someone he likes. someone he thinks returns the feeling, even with all the conspicuous lies.Ā
he shifts a little, wiggling his hips until the indent of his weight on the mattress has flattened out into something more comfortable. ā can i take a drag then? ā he finds elliotās eyes again, ears going a little red as he stays staring.Ā ā if iām not a smoker, iām not, right? this is just a social thing. for anxiety and sort of nostalgia.ā