I like clingy. I like when someone purposely grabs my hand to show other people I’m theirs. I like that when something exciting happens during the day, I’m the first person you want to tell. I like coming back to an “I miss you” text message when I’m in class or taking a nap. I like that random call at one in the morning just because you wanted to hear my voice. I little gestures that show I’m important, and you enjoy having me in your life.

i am afraid that if i open myself i will not stop pouring. (why do i fear becoming a river. what mountain gave me such shame.)

We had lunch last Sunday. At my best friends house. You were wearing that shirt I like and i had my glasses on which I always knew you found kind of sexy. We were both a bit hungover from last night after drinking a bit too much and after having yet another drunken kiss, in a corner of a dying party, lips salty, foreheads touching, breathing mingled in the dark. We always had these kind of moments. I have been in love with you since we were sixteen years old. You had a girlfriend then who you loved more than she did. And she hurt you. But I was always there picking up the pieces. Now we’re nineteen. And I still love you. You do too, just not the way I deserve or I want you too. So we’re having lunch and you’re staring at me across the table. I am avoiding your eyes. I really wish that this time you would change your mind. I need you too. So after another lame attempt to catch my attention, I look up at you and that smile I reserve only for you inevitably escapes me. It warmed you. I know it did. But you have no intention in seeing me seriously. You know you have me. You know I’ll always be there. And you care only for that. You care only for these little nameless moments that you can confirm that yes I’m still crazy in love with you and you can tuck your insecurities away for a short while. So yes you are my almost, you will always be my almost. And for you I will always be that girl who could be your savior. But you never dared to try. Well, maybe someday…

I learned that people can easily forget that others are human.

the tide: *is high*

I want to stop running away from everything. I want to find something to run toward.