you are not the man you used to be

“What kind of techniques do you use? Maybe you use something I haven’t learned yet.” Most of what he learned was more martial arts and defense based, but he assumed with the military he probably covered a wider range than he did. It never hurt to learn more either and Shouto’s always liked having options. It was a perk from being on his own now. He could think for himself.

“We should train sometime.” He offered. “You teach me, I teach you and then we can just spar.” Shouto figured it’d be a good trade off and they’d be able to see how skilled the other actually was. Not that he doubted Zuko’s abilities, but it’s different seeing them than being told about them. // @zukoyu​

“I was trained in martial arts as a child, specifically the style of Northern Shaolin Kung Fu, so I mostly work on that. The military has always had more of a focus on armed combat, but there is brief training in hand-to-hand combat. It feels foreign to me after so many years of martial arts work. What about yourself? What techniques do you use?” Zuko explained. 

“Good for local retailers though.” The hat and coat businesses would be booming if this kept up. Even he might need to buy a couple-his tolerance was way above others, but there was limits to that too. 

“All of that. Just training in general. There’s some daily workouts I do to keep me in shape for the firehouse, but I grew up learning all sorts of techniques and practices, so I train on the daily to keep up with those skills too.” His father put him through absolute hell, and as much as he resented him and his teachings the skills were useful. Plus he’d been doing them for so long it was practically routine at this point. “Sometimes, I work so much I forget how to actually relax.” // @zukoyu​

“Yeah, though I’m sure they are all hurrying to put out all of the winter items.” The weather had changed so quickly, he doubted that many businesses were prepared. The instant they switched the items out, however, they would excel in sales.

V perked up at the sight of the camera being handed to him. He felt excited at seeing the other’s attempt. There was something breath taking in the idea of people taking chances, no matter how small they may be. Maybe it was because he was so cautious or that the idea reminded him of his mother. Both were true, but neither felt as it was the whole complete truth. 

He looked over the photo-very standard to his critical eye. The shot was taken straightforward, with him in the center and the foliage in the background. Overall, it wasn’t a bad picture in the slightest. Though something that caught his eye was the sharpness to the photo. Most beginners would either take one that was just slightly off, but this one was pretty much right on the mark. Despite blindness, this was his specialty. He smiled, “It looks good. I’m impressed. What do you think?” // @zukoyu​

At the other’s words he felt accomplishment run through him, while he was doubtful of the photo being any good at all, it was a good feeling to receive a compliment on something he had done. It wasn’t something he could say he was all that used to so when it did happen, it tended to brighten his day. He certainly hadn’t been expecting to hear that V was impressed in some way.

“You won’t be the only one looking for your winter clothes this early into the year.” Shouto cracked the joke whilst keeping a straight face. His execution for those really needed some work-not that he fully realized it. Mostly he was just trying to seem friendlier and more sociable. He wanted to move past his isolated and loner persona. The few friends he had, he wanted them to see he really was working harder to be a better person. 

“Play in the snow? Maybe train? I don’t know if I’ll be able to do much with all the roads being blocked off, and some buildings may be temporarily out of service depending on how worse the weather gets.” He paused as he rolled a sizable ball of snow nearly tall enough to reach his knees. “I may just stay inside. I haven’t had a real day off in a long time. It might be nice to just relax.” // @zukoyu​

A small sound escaped his lips, it was something akin to a laugh. He had never been the type to loudly express anything, let alone when he thought something was just a little bit funny. He wasn't even sure if the comment was serious or not and so, for once, he was grateful he didn’t have a boisterous laugh, he wouldn’t want to offend Shouto in any way. “I think if this continues much longer, everyone on Yen Sid will be suffocating in coats and hats.”

“Everything is subjective if you think about it. Art. Philosophy. Interests. Morals. There’s never really any concrete answer to anything. But that’s probably why people try to compartmentalize everything. You have modern art, post modern, contemporary, still life, landscape, abstract-the list goes on.” V handed him the camera, free to do with the photo as he wished. Delete it or keep it, he didn’t mind either outcome. “Try taking a photo.”

He raised his arms gesturing to the world around them. The sky, the ground, the cliff, the trees. Whatever he wanted. V wanted to see where his creativity would take him. “Whatever you’d like.” // @zukoyu​

His finger hovered over the button that would delete the photo of himself, debating what to do with it. His initial reaction to it made him immediately want to erase it, yet the more he thought about it, it felt silly to get so worked up over a photo, especially one that wasn’t bad. He shifted his finger away from the delete button, and looked out, unsure of just what to photograph. He was right, everything was subjective and the idea of that at the very least gave him a little more confidence as he carefully held the camera in his hands, terrified that he would break it somehow.

Yes, photography was easy because it was his form of running away. Painting was what he really wanted to do. There was passion and livelihood he wanted to convey that could only be expressed through painting. But oh, if only he was worthy. He wasn’t and that’s why he hadn’t tried. He failed his mother, he failed Rika. He would fail himself too. It was better this way.

“Probably more so than it should have been,” V laughed quietly, “I was a natural at photography it turns out so there really wasn’t ever a struggle. As for what looks good, anything can look good with a camera. It’s just a matter of finding a perspective you like.” Suddenly, a flash went off, a satisfied smile drawing itself onto his face at the photo of Zuko he’d just taken. Turning the camera around to show him, “Some might not agree, some might, but if you like it then that’s good enough, no?” // @zukoyu​

He blushed slightly out of embarrassment at the photo, it wasn’t a bad photo by any means, in fact looking at it technically speaking, it was quite good. But not only was the photo completely unexpected, his expression was so stoic in it he found it surprised himself even. He had heard he was terribly serious but he had always argued that he was only when he needed to be. The photo begged to differ.

“You can stop by my house later and you can pick which ones you like.” It was a good thing he cleaned his home yesterday. Shouto wasn’t messy by nature, but having guests over you didn’t want to set a bad example. Though, most often when people visited they were more astounded by the size of his apartment than anything else. 

Watching quietly, he forced himself to look away feeling as if he was seeing something too privy. He knew the feeling of accomplishing something personal, something that wasn’t practical and even silly, but it was a nice feeling to do it. To get that sense of ‘you actually did it’ when everything around you was telling you as if you weren’t. He realized quietly that maybe the snowman was much more important than he initially thought. Still, he was glad Zuko got to experience it. “Building snowmen is fun. It’s a lot more fun than work-which I doubt I’ll getting any with all this snow.” // @zukoyu

“Sounds good. With how cold it is, I might have to use one immediately.” It was an odd but pleasant feeling, to have a friend, especially one that didn’t know about all of his woes. It was comforting even, he enjoyed it much more than he thought he would. Having spent much of his life isolated from others, he never saw himself enjoying the company of others so much, yet here he was.

Ah, that was the golden question wasn’t it. What was his reasoning for getting into photography? Could he really explain that it was because he feared trying any other form of art? That the thought of holding a paintbrush, while certainly more comfortable, felt too heavy in his hand for someone as weak as him. That his mother, whom he cherished and loved so dearly, was the one to inspire him to give art another chance after the first attempted failed the both of them. 

“Hm, I’ll be honest this one and say that the other mediums didn’t really suit me.” V fiddled with the camera in his hands, changing the settings. “I tried painting for a while, but that was rather… disastrous. So much so that I haven’t considered picking it back up. But photography seemed easy when I first started. Let the camera do all the work-sort of speaking. I tried it and I liked it enough and found I was rather good at it.” // @zukoyu

In Zuko’s opinon, nearly all forms of art were something he couldn’t truly grasp, at least not enough to truly get involved with it. He didn’t consider himself creative enough, he had spent his life following orders, picking up something that had complete free reign to do whatever one wanted felt more daunting than anything. Even if he had an interest in trying something out, he wouldn’t have even known where to begin. He knew deep down that in terms of time it wasn’t too late to do so if he were ever curious, yet, a part of him felt as thought it was too late as a result of who he was today.

How long? Not long in some aspects, not long enough in others. Photography was an escape. Something he could go to when he needed an outlet, an escape. Something he could have when painting was out of touch. His expression went lost for a moment. “Not very long,” V tried to think back his exact age, “I would say a handful of years. Ah wait, no. I had to have been 19 when I first picked it up, so doing the math… I would say about 7 years?” It’s only been seven years since he picked up the camera, hm. // @zukoyu​

“I can give you some jackets? A couple of mine tend to keep the heat in pretty well. I don’t have much of a need for them.” They were mostly gifts from his sister- or some he bought in passing, even though they both knew he didn’t need. She always insisted it never hurt to have a couple ready. So he had a good sizable stack ready in his closet. The firefighter needed to get rid of some stuff due to clutter so he didn’t mind giving out stuff to his friends if they needed it. The rest would just go to charity.

“Hm,” Shouto gives a nod of approval, setting down the tiny snowman and begins gathering up snow once more. “Like that but on a bigger scale now. Congrats on your first ever snowman.” It’s small, just barely bigger than his hand, but it counts. A snowman is a snowman no matter what size. // @zukoyu​

“I’d appreciate that.” It wasn’t that he couldn’t afford to buy new ones but it didn’t hurt to not spend money if he didn’t have to. He had the space in the closet to fit a few more articles of clothing and if he got good use out of them when winter rolled around, it would have certainly been worth taking him up on his offer. 

“It’s usually one or the other, isn’t it?” That’s different though when your body isn’t tampered with. His own body temperature stays relatively stable, not too hot or cold. “I guess I’m one of the lucky few who swings both ways.” There’s some euphemism there, it tickles at his brain because he knows that means something else but he just can’t remember what. “It makes shopping easy on me atleast.”

Shouto never has to worry about buying jackets or tank tops in abundance, usually the few he owns does the trick. It’s not as if he goes out in the summer wearing a jacket- he dresses appropriately for the weather-but it’s not a big concern of his to dress that fitting. He rolls a small ball onto of a slightly larger one, making a base for a tiny snowman that he offers to show the other. // @zukoyu​

Zuko chuckles softly, giving a small nod of his head in agreement with the statement, “Yes, it seems to be that way.” He pauses for a moment, thinking that he had heard the phrase once before in some passing joke that someone had once made, but for the life of him, he can’t remember the context of it. “I’m a little jealous,” He admitted with a smile, “Most of the time I manage to stay warm enough that I don’t have to stock up on too many jackets but once the temperature reaches a certain point even I can’t stay warm in it.”