Zoya Khan

Joss was combing her fingers through her hair mindlessly, in an effort, albeit mostly in vain, to tame it so that she might be able to pull it into somewhat of a neat bun and away from her face and neck. She didn’t like the humidity in the jungle, she felt like she was sweating more now than she had on the beach or even in the cave and she just felt sticky. Always sticky. 

“What the fuck?” she said out loud as her fingers snagged on a knot in her long hair and pulled out a clump of strands as she pulled them away. She stared at the hair for a moment or so before shaking it off of her hand and letting it fall to the ground, “Great,” she chimed, “My roots are showing, my skin is falling off, I’ve got a break out on my chin and now I’m going fucking bald- next my bloody teeth are going to fall out,” she whined, frustrated with the week’s events and the unpleasantness of their new camp’s locations. “I’m so over this,” she muttered to herself. 

She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself and moved closer to the center of camp then, 

“Can somebody braid my hair please?”

x

Zoya had an opinion on everything and everyone, but Joss was probably one of the few people who constantly fluctuated. She was...fluid, for the lack of a better word, while also staying consistent in being that way. It was plain and simple...different. And as Zoya was now on a mission to figure out her fellow Eves, she loved the idea of learning more about the exact ways in which this ‘different’ appeared in all of them. And loved that she finally got a chance to do so with Joss. 

As the other complained about things which Zoya would describe as trivial, she found herself chuckling gently at the way those complaints were delivered. There was something oddly humorous about Joss, even when she was being serious. “Well praise Lord for bestowing such hardship on you and not the rest of us, I mean, all of that and you’re till a ten? Must be nice.” she then approached, knowing full-well she did not know first thing about braiding hair and this endeavour would probably end up with a shaved head or a massive matted hair lock. “I’ll do it, idle hands are the devils workshop after all.”

-

“Heya,” Divya greeted in return as Zoya approached her, smiling when the other Eve took up the spot beside her on the log. Gets dark quicker out here…The trees an’ all, I’m guessing. “Yeah, I guess so,” she responded, looking upwards at the trees above. She wondered what time it was. It was difficult to tell out here. Everyone’s watches were either broken or waterlogged or both. Hearing Zoya speak, Divya’s attention returned to her. I want to cuddle, may I? The request for permission made her smile. “Yeah, have at it,” she encouraged with a warm smile, offering up her shoulder to the other girl. She rested her own head against Zoya’s once she felt the weight of the other Eve’s body rested on her side. I’m tired. “Yeah, it’s been a rough day innit? I’m just glad we can settle down now.” She pushed out a soft sigh and patted Zoya’s knee, gaze wandering downward. It was then that she took notice of the watch Zoya was wearing. “Nice watch. Is that… yours?” It felt weird to ask but it just seemed so out of place consider Zoya’s whole ensemble. But maybe it was a statement piece.

x

Zoya got real comfortable real quick as the other welcomed her with open arms. She spread out a jacket to cover them both, what little could be reached and let go of a built-up sigh which allowed her to sink into the log and the shoulder and close her eyes for just a moment. Divya had that mom energy about her, soft and caring but also badass and fearless. She took care of everyone, she rationalised a lot, she did her best to maintain some sort of harmony within the group. It got Zoya wondering if anyone was checking in on her, as she did everyone else. “Is it weird if I say I’m kind of used to it? Like, I don’t know I feel like we just can’t catch a break no matter what we do...” with her eyes now open once again and focused entirely on the other, she’ll squeeze her arm just a bit before speaking, as if to indicate she really did care. “How are you though? I know it’s a bit of a loaded a-and dumb question but...your mind, how...how are you doing?” 

She didn’t mean to pry, but for some reason she felt it crucial now to make sure she knew exactly where everyone stood. Where they were mentally, physically, emotionally. They did all types of inventory, this could be the same. This could be the way for everyone to feel seen and heard and understood. That way no one would be running off again, that way they could support each other without constantly assuming intentions and motives behind their actions. They just had to..well, talk. --- At the question of the watch she’ll smile. “What this? Oh God no...” a light chuckle and she’ll start to play with it, spinning it around her wrist. She’d held on to that watch for dear life, especially once the boys had gone missing. “I stole it from one of the boys we all collectively imagined. Tall handsome one? Sebastian? At least I think that’s what happened, who can be sure?” she let Divya take a hold of it, passing it on, as if somehow she might find in it some sort of clue or answer. “What do you think happened to them? The boys?”

-

Jenny didn’t feel great. They didn’t feel bad, but that was part of it, really. They would be ecstatic if not for the guilt they carried. It bubbled in their stomach as they silently worked at the little job they had assigned themselves. Methodically folding the clothes that had either managed to stay dry or dried throughout the day. It wasn’t much, but it felt like all they could do in that moment. Let the fabric over their fingertips serve as comforting, even if back home they fucking hated folding clothes. They’d shove their mother’s efforts haphazardly into the closet shared with their sister, something they recognised as a dick move now. 

Zoya’s voice pulled them from their thoughts as they held the last shirt in their hands, looking up at her and eyes following as she settled beside them. Her question a little surprising to them, or not surprising but just maybe that they weren’t really expecting it in that moment. They never really expected any of the warmth they had been shown as a part of the group. “ Yeah, ” They agreed absently at first. Moving a second later to set down folded shirt on the little pile they had and moving side of their jacket so it wouldn’t hang in her way. “ Yeah. For sure, go for it, ” They encouraged, with slightly more enthusiasm than their initial response. Though still a Jenny amount of enthusiasm. “ I don’t think I’ll sleep for a while longer so, ” they patted their thigh, “ All your’s. ”

x

Zoya didn’t know at what point she’d decided that the Eves were now her family, but today that feeling felt heavier, it felt different. “You know...” she’ll begin as she rests down on a patted thigh, allowing the comfort of human touch to wash over her nerves. She didn’t even realise how on edge she’d felt up until that moment, but now her words slowed as if to show just how much she’d needed this. “I don’t know how long we’ve been stuck here but, that life I had before? You know, life before all of...this - it, it feels like it...like it never happened. Like, I don’t know how to explain it but -- it’s like it was never, I don’t know... real? And I can’t even tell you if that’s a good or a bad thing...” she was thinking out loud, there wasn’t much point to her words other than wanting to talk. And what else was there to do now anyway? Except to talk? To actually get to know people she will most likely spend the rest of her life with. 

Her eyes pass over Jenny’s features, and she’ll smile gently before looking away. She wasn’t the one to stare, but Jenny had a thing about them which made it difficult to look away. She wondered if they knew that. She also knew better than to point it out and put them on the spot like that. “What were you thinking just then? Before I came?” a curious inquiry. Zoya often wondered where they went when they spaced out. “If you don’t mind my askin’ that is...”

her head was pounding and she had regretted the previous night immensely. but in spite of the pain and the soreness and the overwhelming laziness, she was up on her feet and grabbing anything and everything that seemed even remotely useful. this island was full of surprises, and zoya seemed to have grown used to it. she wasn’t feeling overwhelmed, or out of place, she was just...onto the next thing. 

following the others into the woods, she wondered if this was their way of accepting their faith. accepting that they needed to make something more permanent for themselves. she didn’t want to follow those thoughts too far in, but she did act as if they were real - as if that’s exactly what was happening right now. 

…

hearing the girl’s poor excuse, shane couldn’t help but smirk, loosening up a little. “yeah, ‘cause allergy pills normally come in baggies?” shane said, raising an eyebrow at her. being offered the joint, shane took it from the other girl. she gave it a quick glance to admire her work before bringing it to her lips. with a flick of the lighter, shane inhaled deeply to make sure it was good before taking it from her lips. holding for a second before exhaling, she held it back to the other. “same as you,” she said finally. though, they may on different levels depending on what those pills were. “how about you tell me what you got and i’ll tell you what i got.”

x

…

“what? no, i-” shane said quickly, almost forgetting why a normal person would be in a bathroom at a party. she watched as the other girl proceeded to drop the things in things in her pockets and shane couldn’t help but notice the pills that slipped out. her eyes locked on them as the other girl picks them back up, shane’s eyes going to her face, realizing they were here doing the same thing. weed was one thing, everyone smoked weed, but pills was a different story. her attention pulled back at the girl’s question. “yeah, yeah, i got you,” she said, finally stepping into the bathroom fully and shutting the door behind her. reaching into her jacket pocket, shane pulled out a pack of cigarettes that she reserved only for parties. it doesn’t count if you’re drunk, that’s what she told herself. pulling the lighter out of the pack, she held it out to the other girl before tucking the pack back into her pocket. 

x

…

shane loved parties. well really, she hated the people and the loud shitty music and the shitty beer and drunk dude and- okay, shane just liked the chance to get fucked up without judgement and the chance to hook up with people. that was the only reason she liked parties. this party was a typical frat party which were the worst of the worst, but it was an excuse to get fucked up. she pushed her way through the crowd of people just standing around trying to talk over the music, and some people gathered around a beer pong game, until she found a door. twisting the door knob, it wasn’t locked so she just prayed that it was a bathroom or another secluded area where she could do a couple lines before putting up with these people. what she didn’t expect was to walk in on another girl sitting on the toilet, half rolled joint in her hand. “shit, sorry, it wasn’t locked, i just assumed-” shane shook her head, hand still on the door knob, ready to back out and try to find another room to go to.

x

…

shane felt like she was going crazy and simultaneously having her heart broken at the same time since watching joss climb on to the boat. she was frozen, still staring at it after yelling at her best friend for far longer than she needed to considering joss never turned back around. how could she not believe her? how could she not see that none of this felt right. they had to be lying about something. she doesn’t know what…but something. hearing zoya speaking, shane finally turns away from the boat, looking back at the rest of the eves scattered around the beach. “it’s ‘cause it’s all a lie,” shane said, her voice much more defeated sounding than it did earlier. “it’s all a fucking lie,” she repeated. 

x

shane was right, and although she knew they both looked paranoid and bat shit crazy, she trusted her gut. she knew, deep down, they were right. something was off. something was incredibly off. she nods as shane speaks. “damn right.” its practically a whisper, and then she looks at her, and she’s calm and she doesn’t know why, but she knows what they have to do next. “we need to get them off that boat shane. we can’t let them leave.” but how the fuck do they do that?

…

shane felt as if everything this person was saying was just proving to shane that she was right. there was something off about how she was talking, about how she was treating them and not answering her questions, instead just repeating the same things. as joss goes on to tell all of her details, shane’s jaw dropped. she understood wanting to go home, but how could they just trust this person who shane found incredibly suspicious? she watches as erin easily gave in and accepted the other’s word. shane felt crazy, but she was so sure that there was something wrong about this. as the lady addressed joss again, shane couldn’t help but reach out to the blonde, her fingers brushing the girl’s arm, starting to wrap around her bicep, as if to stop her from going along with erin.

x

She stood by while the whole scene unfolded and she couldn’t for the life of her understand how people were so quick to hop on board. Maybe it was the third sense she’d developed over time, but something was just so incredibly off about this whole situation. Like how dreams always appeared to make sense, until you woke up and realised things were never making sense at all. She reaches for the ID to examine it. “So officer, you say you’re American? This mean we’re in the US? See, all this time we were here I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where exactly we crashed? So? Where are we? What’s the closest big city? Where’s your closest base? How long ‘til we get there?”

She knew it was probably not the time to ask so many questions, and she couldn’t believe she was the one asking, but if not now, when?

“You have signal here, right? And radios and satellites. We know there’s signal here. So can we call our parents? I mean, if a crypto guy could reach you and, well you’re the fucking coastal guard, ease our suspicions...give us the phone...” she had her now, she had her. “What better way to make us trust you than to let us inform people we are found, right?

…

shane couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at zoya’s realization, giving her a small nod to show that she was right. “i mean, it’s not like i’m alexa rich, and my parents didn’t raise me like i was, ya know?” she tried to explain. “like, my cousin, she’s 16 and she’s already a straight up lex. my uncle lets her do anything and will buy her whatever she wants, huge brat. my parents make me work if i want shit. i know what it’s like to give a fuck about stuff.” shane hated talking about this kind of stuff. it always felt like a cop out oh i’m not rich, my parents are rich. she hated people thinking differently of her if they knew what her family was like. which she guessed was exactly what her parents wanted, they wanted her to feel like a normal kid who understood money and respected hard work. “yeah, probably, that’s totally a thing. i wonder if we would have made it to hawaii if she would be walking around on instagram live with a bunch of bots.” she really wouldn’t be surprised if she did, seems like something she would do. turn everything into an insta post all about validation on social media. “i hate dogs. like, they’re cool, but not for me. i’m a cat person all the way.” she thought for a second, shane was obviously not a lawyer, she didn’t know how it all worked. but considering everything that has happened, they definitely could sue these dawn of eve fucks and make a pretty penny. “yeah, i mean, shit like this? we could win hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions. we’d all be set for life. all it took was crashing on an island for three weeks, people dying, nearly starving every day, and a life time worth of trauma. we’re all going to be alexa rich when we’re home.”

x

zoya didn’t mean to cause the other to justify herself, although she appreciated it regardless. she’d always found the whole nature vs nurture debate quite compelling. chuckling slightly as shane explains she’s not ‘alexa rich’ she’ll shift in her spot, understanding exactly what the other had meant. “yeah no, that bitch is filthy rich. no one deserves that type of money dude, makes me wonder what type of shady shit her dear ol’ fatha is into.” she knew she shouldn’t have mocked the accent, especially considering how bad she was at it, but there was something just so pretentious about being both rich and british. “i can tell. i mean, i can tell they raised you right. you don’t seem like an entitled bitch at all. just a regular one.” it was a joke, of course, but then she cut it out and nodded. “i’m just kidding, you’re pretty cool. i think i might’ve misjudged you, you know?  i uh, i tend to be wrong about people a whole fucking lot.” – “it’s why i keep away, i think. i mean, it’s better to be lonely than constantly fuckin’ disappointed.” she wasn’t sure where that was coming from, or why she felt like sharing, but she figured shane wouldn’t judge her on that. “but hey, i might be lonely, broke and homeless at least i’m not your spoilt 16 year ol’ cousin ‘cause she sound like a nightmare. bet it makes for fun family reunions though…” 

she quickly switched the topic away from herself and laughed at the following. “if we made it to hawaii she’d be flashin’ some bikini deal for money, ya feel me? probably fuck half the people there too based on how much she talks ‘bout dick.” she was truly done talking about that bitch, even thinking about her just pissed the mood down. but it was entertaining. like watching a car crash. you know it’s terrible but you just cannot look away. “i don’t mind dogs, i prefer cats though, i think. wasn’t allowed to have either growing up, my mother is…” a bitch? she couldn’t say that, her mother was in spite of her many flaws a wonderful woman. “well, she’s just different than me, ya know? hard to get along with.” a heavy sigh and she’ll consider shanes words carefully and hopefully. “god i hope you’re right. it’s the least we deserve at this point. to be alexa fuckin’ rich.”

…

shane couldn’t help but laugh at zoya’s comment. while shane didn’t really think about her family’s money, she forgets that the eves know nothing about her home life and her family. mainly because she liked to keep it that way. her parents were determined to raise her to appreciate the things they had and all the hard work it takes so she wouldn’t turn into someone like lex. “well most rich people come out like that, not all of us,” she said, letting zoya in to her home life just a tiny bit. it was nice to know that at least zoya didn’t assume she was another lex. her parents definitely did that right. “oh i bet she just waves money around, buying things for anyone who is willing to spend time with her. people who look good for her thousands of followers and shit.” she should feel bad about saying such petty things about lex, but right now, she didn’t give a fuck. they were just blowing off steam. instead, she focused on the idea of going home. “yeah, everyone keeps saying that,” she said with a slight roll of her eyes. “i got her for christmas and i love the shit out of that little cat.” she missed stevie so much and hated the idea that she’s been growing up without her in these almost three weeks. “well hey, when we sue the fucks who put us on that plane, we’ll get so much money you can get a dog and a house just for the two of you.” she didn’t know much about zoya’s situation, just what she’s offered up to the group but shane was never one to push for more information than what was given. 

x

“not all of us?”  she’ll chuckle in some type of disbelief. shane was far too grounded to be rich, perhaps looks and general behaviour could be deceiving. but even now as she’d heard it she just couldn’t place it. “w-wait, back up, what do you mean us? you’re rich? you’re...you’re a rich new yorker? what?” her eyes narrow and she’ll take a step back to examine the other as if she could now see her in some new clear light. “fam, that shit don’t make no sense how on earth are you so...like...like normal? shit..” she’ll take it down a notch and lean back with a smile. “how rich we talkin?” she wondered if the other eves knew, if she had missed this fact by minding her own business way too much as she seemed to miss everything else around here. “i bet she bought her followers too. girl from my high-school did it. her engagement is fucking dreadful though. then again when you’re as rich as that bitch you can buy likes too...i don’t know, i don’t trust jack shit i see on social media. everyone’s just so fucking full of self-importance, ya know?” in other words, she was jealous of the lives she observed online even though she knew they were mostly either fake or highlights. either way, she’d long ago decided to follow only the people she knows and few meme pages. she’d not missed social media at all. apart from youtube maybe, that could have come in handy. --- “cats sound better than dogs. maybe when we win the lawsuit i’ll pursue my newly established ambition to become a cat lady. seems like a cool option. y-ya really think we’d win enough in damages to buy a house?”

…

“yeah,” shane let out a weak chuckle at zoya’s comment. though, now that she thought about it, they have been on the island for while, she wondered if anyone had gotten their periods or if the lack of food helped keep them away. shane was used to having a weird cycle thanks to year of intense working out. at least now, with rescue on the way, they wont have to worry about that on the island anymore. “god, you’re so right dude,” she agreed, shaking her head. lex was spoiled and acting like she could do no wrong but at the same time, she had an awful victim complex. god, she reminded her of- “she reminds me of my bratty, bitch of a cousin,” shane said, finishing her thought out loud. “it’s like she doesn’t know how to actually be a normal person or some shit. i bet this is the first time she hasn’t been able to flash her money to make friends or something.” would make sense why the girl had like no social skills when it came to real people. but zoya was right again, shan’e should pay her any mind. instead, she took a hit of the cig and let out a sigh as she exhaled. “yeah, i feel it dude. but like, phones exist. obviously we’ll have to get new ones. but i just can’t fucking wait to shower, eat a real meal, lay in bed with my cat. jesus christ, i miss that basic shit.” 

x

zoya was glad to be helpful for a change, since it had been shane being helpful to everyone else most of the time. it felt sort of like, giving back -- especially since the other was upset over someone who was - for the most - part very useless. she also just generally enjoyed being told she was right, it did wonders to her ego which had suffered far too many insults to both character and intelligence. “you got a bratty bitch cousin like...like that? fuck me dude, thought only rich people came out that fucked up.” she’ll chuckle, having assumed shane was nowhere near rich based on...well, just how grounded she was as a person. “you think she bought her own friends or did daddy buy them for her?” she’ll let out a menacing laugh but then bite her tongue. “okay i’m done, i’m done.” it was just too easy, and it wasn’t really bckbiting if she was willing to say the same shit to the others face. --- when shane mentions the things she misses, zoya smiles gently. it was the first time she’d seen her so open and for a moment she felt guilt for misjudging her, perhaps. “you got a cat? that’s...you’re a real softie inside, ain’t ya?” she teases her lightly. “i always wanted a cat, but dogs are more of a homeless people pet, ya know?” she’ll laugh it off as she often did her own bullshit trauma. “maybe someday.”

●

She smiled softly when Zoya nudged her shoulder, trying to press her lips together in attempt to hide it but failing at the task. She had to remind herself that just because praise was nice, didn’t mean that was why she had done it. She had done it because it was a good thing to do, they were out of water, and Erin was completely capable of restocking it. She chuckled when she mentioned meeting the fun Zoya, looking down at her legs and offering a sympathetic suck of her teeth. “ I think you pulled a card to streak or something, and you know, streak turned skinny dip, I think, ” She said with another chuckle, trying to help jog her memory at least a little. Despite the fact that she didn’t drink, Erin nodded her head in agreement. It smelled disgusting, and yeah, if the job was to get everyone drunk, then yeah, it had certainly done that. “ Mmhmm, ” Erin hummed in response to question, nodding her head more enthusiastically. If she forgot the fights, and how she had sobbed so hard her chest hurt, and a number of other things, it had been fun. “ It was good to see everyone sort of, like, let loose, you know. I’m glad everyone had fun. ” 

x

“Huh...yeah I remember that.” she chuckles lightly as the other attempts to jog her memory, and she’ll shrug. “Those cards were wild, who ended up winning in the end?” she scratches the top of her brow as she looks at the other, having not recalled how her night ended at all. “Shit, I remember twerking with Joss. Did she win? Wait no, it was Shane wasn’t it?” Shane always wins, seems to be her thing. --- “Don’t think everyone had fun though, I may not remember much but I remember bitches going feral at each other and me completely clocking out every time they did. I swear this Island is like some fucked up version of Big Brother and we’re getting around that time where bitches is ready to rip out each others necks.” she was exaggerating for comedic effect of course, but she also knew there was some truth to it. Last night may have been fun, but it sure wasn’t smooth. “Can I ask um, do you know if Izzy a-and...” her voice will come down to a whisper and she’ll lean in closer to Erin. “Are she and Odessa a thing?”

●

Zoya was right. They probably did have a radio on the plane, and they probably shared the coordinates already, and someone was probably on their way to get them right this very moment. Erin nodded along with all those words, feeling so light. Like this weight that had been on her since that first day, where they all realised what situation they were in, had finally lifted. She is, however, pulled from her thoughts as Zoya moves to help her and continues to be … surprised? perhaps? that Erin had done what she had done that morning. Just because she wasn’t a jock gay didn’t mean she wasn’t athletic, didn’t mean she wasn’t strong. “ Yeah, maybe, I don’t know. ” She said instead, with a shrug of her shoulders as the two moved closer to their camp. She smiled when Zoya said she did great. She hadn’t done it for praised, but it was still nice. “ I just figured you guys would probably need water when you started waking up. ” She replied, part explaining her decision, part teasing Zoya. The other had certainly been one of the more indulgent of the night. “ How are you this morning, by the way? ” She looked to her, a cheeky smirk trying to tug at her lips, “ You got a little wild last night, ” She teased with a chuckle.

x

Erin was one of those people Zoya just couldn’t figure out. She was somehow both shy and not at the same time. And she was smart, the kind of smart that made Zoya keep her distance. Or maybe it was that she just never had anything smart to say and didn’t want to embarrass herself. Whatever it was, she felt somewhat shitty for staying away, ‘cause things was generally just overall better every time Erin was around. She cared for the group, and she proved it time and time again -- even when it went against herself. And Zoya respected that, respected it enough to forget entirely the other had ventured into the woods without a word. Because if anyone had a good and solid enough reason to go, it would have been her. She snaps out of thought, realising she may have stared at the other entirely too long and she’ll chuckle. “Well you figured right, I mean we were fully out of water until now. Don’t think anyone’s realised...except you.” she smiles and nudges her gently with a shoulder before rolling her eyes playfully at the cheeky remark. “Okay, okay I get it -- you guys have met the fun Zoya for the first time and now you won’t let her go.” --- “This is why I don’t drink, look at my legs dude, they’re fucked. It’s like I’ve been to war!” she’d not even remembered how she got the bruises in the first place. A lot of the night was actually a blur. “I swear I was fully naked at one point, I remember going into the ocean too -- don’t think I remember anything after that. That rum is disgusting but it sure did the job...” she’s done talking about herself so she’ll look at the other, head tilted to the side. “And you? Did you have fun?”