i need to make a lil vent because i feel bad about my choices recently. I had a friend which we knew each other since high school (about 6 years), to me it was always a very casual relationship, we were meeting once every few months, giving each other updates about our lives and sharing thoughts on books. this wasnt a relationship close enough for us to talk about traumas, struggles and consider deep existential questions. it was just a simple relationship. until last year when i could notice something changed, she started asking me random "deep" things, about my fears, about my relationship with my father (absent one) and things like that which made me quite uncomfortable, but i didnt pay much attention to it, that summer we were meeting a bit more often because we both had nothing to do and we live not too far away from each other. few months later i met my girlfriend, and when i tried to open a bit and shared with my friend few things about her and i joked about how i probably would hate her if we met as teenagers (my girl has a "wild teens" past, drugs and all shes all clean now for a long time), and my friend said she didnt like her from what i was saying, and that she was very skeptical that she was getting close to me. well i was annoyed with that reaction and later i shared that with her which she apologized for, but i still feel like shes slightly blaming my girlfriend about what happened later in our relationship. skipping some time later, i got a job (yippee!) but it made my free time non-existing, with a new job and still a new (my first) serious relationship, priorities in my life changed. i still met with my friend quite regularly but it was harder to schedule a meeting and i couldnt spend hours and hours with her. multiple times i got a message from her that i spend less time with her and i dont have time for her, then there were comments (maybe in a joking tone but i dont know) that i have a "boring adult life" and i just work and go to uni, which yes is a fact, but it still made me feel bad. i spent hours and hours talking with my therapist why this relationship drains me and why do i feel guilty after each of our meetings. me and my friend we were never texting type of friends, we texted once in a while except from times when we scheduled our meetings. but then came the text messages at 2 am asking if she did something wrong when i didnt text her for a week or just messages like that out of complete blue. we had a conversation about that, that i am content with how our relationship looked so far and i just liked meeting from time to time to share what happened in our lives, and that i felt guilty after our meetings lately because she was asking me if i hate her or if everythings okay when on my side everything was just as usual.
gummygunk
areudirty
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jacobvanloon
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izzy806
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
