I've just got a job at a publishing house
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oozey mess
we're not kids anymore.

#extradirty

Love Begins
Cosimo Galluzzi

JVL

if i look back, i am lost
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occasionally subtle

izzy's playlists!

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Not today Justin
Three Goblin Art
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@zosimoww
I've just got a job at a publishing house

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i need to make a lil vent because i feel bad about my choices recently. I had a friend which we knew each other since high school (about 6 years), to me it was always a very casual relationship, we were meeting once every few months, giving each other updates about our lives and sharing thoughts on books. this wasnt a relationship close enough for us to talk about traumas, struggles and consider deep existential questions. it was just a simple relationship. until last year when i could notice something changed, she started asking me random "deep" things, about my fears, about my relationship with my father (absent one) and things like that which made me quite uncomfortable, but i didnt pay much attention to it, that summer we were meeting a bit more often because we both had nothing to do and we live not too far away from each other. few months later i met my girlfriend, and when i tried to open a bit and shared with my friend few things about her and i joked about how i probably would hate her if we met as teenagers (my girl has a "wild teens" past, drugs and all shes all clean now for a long time), and my friend said she didnt like her from what i was saying, and that she was very skeptical that she was getting close to me. well i was annoyed with that reaction and later i shared that with her which she apologized for, but i still feel like shes slightly blaming my girlfriend about what happened later in our relationship. skipping some time later, i got a job (yippee!) but it made my free time non-existing, with a new job and still a new (my first) serious relationship, priorities in my life changed. i still met with my friend quite regularly but it was harder to schedule a meeting and i couldnt spend hours and hours with her. multiple times i got a message from her that i spend less time with her and i dont have time for her, then there were comments (maybe in a joking tone but i dont know) that i have a "boring adult life" and i just work and go to uni, which yes is a fact, but it still made me feel bad. i spent hours and hours talking with my therapist why this relationship drains me and why do i feel guilty after each of our meetings. me and my friend we were never texting type of friends, we texted once in a while except from times when we scheduled our meetings. but then came the text messages at 2 am asking if she did something wrong when i didnt text her for a week or just messages like that out of complete blue. we had a conversation about that, that i am content with how our relationship looked so far and i just liked meeting from time to time to share what happened in our lives, and that i felt guilty after our meetings lately because she was asking me if i hate her or if everythings okay when on my side everything was just as usual.
i do understand that some people need reassurance more often than others and i dont find it annoying or anything its more that we were never that close that our relationship was the main friendship in our lives. we talked about how i relationship looks and that i cant offer her what she may want from it. but still after communicating what is wrong, the next meeting had the same pattern. i was tired honestly, my friends and my girlfriend told me it wasnt healthy that it looked like that. and its not that i hate her and that i made the decision on a whim. god i cried so much about this relationship thinking i am the one guilty and that something is wrong with me that i dont want to open up and get closer with her. but two days ago we were scheduling our meeting and i just realized that i dont really want to go? lately our interests drew away, we were once pretty similar types of people but that changed, yes i know you dont have to be like the other person to be friends, but i noticed less and less common topics and those conversations felt less natural and more forced to me. i felt like i was obliged to meet with her. should i communicate that better? well probably. but if im being honest i did not care enough about our relationship to fight for it. i wanted for it to die a natural death and for us just to part ways and be able to reach out to each other once in a blue moon or get back to each other when we are in different stages of our lives. i have friends i can talk to twice a year and we still can talk like its normal, why do i feel guilty when i talk with her once every one or two weeks and meet monthly? i was torturing myself and my friends with that. so i cancelled the meeting we were supposed to have and i told her how i felt about our relationship lately. that it felt slightly forced and that we had less and less common topics and i just didnt feel like i would make a great company and that i know it is my fault that i dont pay effort to change sth in this relationship but i honestly dont have energy and will to do that. i was shaking texting her that because ive never learnt how to say no and how to establish boundaries and well it was out of the sudden type of message i admit and i cant blame her that she got mad but well. she added second layer to everything i said to her, turned everything on its head saying that its not worth talking to her and that i took personal development too seriously because apparently im now getting rid of people that care about me, that im not letting her break the wall ive built around myself and that maybe the problem is that she cares too much but she can change that if shes being treated as i am treating her rn. and i dont know aaaaaaa its eating me alive. i know shes partially right, and i would act the same if my best friend suddenly said she doesnt want to be close anymore, but here we were never best friends to begin with. i dont know i hate when theres so much drama and turbulences in relationships. i know im the villain in this situation and i this point i dont know if i did the right thing because i know i hurt her but i dont know. yup i guess i just needed to vent because i feel like shit and i dont know if thats because im not used to doing whats right for me or i just made a wrong decision with all of that.Â
its my silly lil tumblr "aita" post i think
i need to make a lil vent because i feel bad about my choices recently. I had a friend which we knew each other since high school (about 6 years), to me it was always a very casual relationship, we were meeting once every few months, giving each other updates about our lives and sharing thoughts on books. this wasnt a relationship close enough for us to talk about traumas, struggles and consider deep existential questions. it was just a simple relationship. until last year when i could notice something changed, she started asking me random "deep" things, about my fears, about my relationship with my father (absent one) and things like that which made me quite uncomfortable, but i didnt pay much attention to it, that summer we were meeting a bit more often because we both had nothing to do and we live not too far away from each other. few months later i met my girlfriend, and when i tried to open a bit and shared with my friend few things about her and i joked about how i probably would hate her if we met as teenagers (my girl has a "wild teens" past, drugs and all shes all clean now for a long time), and my friend said she didnt like her from what i was saying, and that she was very skeptical that she was getting close to me. well i was annoyed with that reaction and later i shared that with her which she apologized for, but i still feel like shes slightly blaming my girlfriend about what happened later in our relationship. skipping some time later, i got a job (yippee!) but it made my free time non-existing, with a new job and still a new (my first) serious relationship, priorities in my life changed. i still met with my friend quite regularly but it was harder to schedule a meeting and i couldnt spend hours and hours with her. multiple times i got a message from her that i spend less time with her and i dont have time for her, then there were comments (maybe in a joking tone but i dont know) that i have a "boring adult life" and i just work and go to uni, which yes is a fact, but it still made me feel bad. i spent hours and hours talking with my therapist why this relationship drains me and why do i feel guilty after each of our meetings. me and my friend we were never texting type of friends, we texted once in a while except from times when we scheduled our meetings. but then came the text messages at 2 am asking if she did something wrong when i didnt text her for a week or just messages like that out of complete blue. we had a conversation about that, that i am content with how our relationship looked so far and i just liked meeting from time to time to share what happened in our lives, and that i felt guilty after our meetings lately because she was asking me if i hate her or if everythings okay when on my side everything was just as usual.
Thanks NetGalley for providing me with an ARC! [a slightly late review]
When I heard that Andrew Joseph White was debuting with his first adult horror book, I was thrilled — and after months and months of waiting, I finally got my hands on it!
I knew “You Weren’t Meant to Be Human” wouldn’t be an easy book. What I didn’t expect was that it would get me out of my half-year reading slump. This book was disgusting, disturbing, and truly weird — but boy, was it captivating.
In the first few dozen pages, I thought the only “upgrade” we were getting from the author’s typical young adult books was going to be some sexual content. Welp, I was wrong, and that’s on me.
This book made me very uncomfortable — and I think that’s exactly what shows how good it was. Can’t wait for the next AJW book. :)
the recipe: add two cloves of garlic
me: sure

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made an irresponsible indie clothing brand purchase but in my defense it's got fun medievalisms going on and also I am allergic to spending money on myself
someone asked for pictures so here you go. my irresponsible purchase from the hushfall archives
I should also note that this brand is entirely trans-run so that's another pro for me. it's not an irresponsible purchase I'm just supporting a small trans business :)
idk im really tired of 15-17 year olds who have never interacted with the gay community irl and spend too much time on tiktok trying to act like the authority on all that is lgbt+Â
 mean this in the kindest possible way. if you are too young and unsafe to go to your gay community center or pride here’s some ways you can connect to gay history.
the oral history project from act up
the lesbian herstory archives
the transgender archives of the university of victoria
the digital transgender archives
glbt historical society (digital)
lgbtq digital collaboratory
since it was suggested in the tags
anything that moves
the bisexual manifesto
the Samuel Proctor oral history project
a masterpost of lesile feinberg’s works by @genderoutlaws
more to come
the queer zine archive
the dyke march compilationÂ
paris is burningÂ
how to survive a plague
united in anger: a history of ACT UP
one archives
new york public library lgbtq archives
i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other
tattoos i mean. i’m not like, taking a couple of invertebrates out on the town
why not
Why not
Why not
my post

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The cruelty of racist white men.
Does anyone else remember when Elon was like "if anyone knows how to end world hunger for 6 billion USD, I'll fund it" and UNICEF was like "we're going to spend a month to make a plan to end world hunger for 6 billion USD and Elon is going to fund it" and Elon was like "actually, nah" and then bought Twitter instead?
I think that was one of the worst things I'll ever see in my life.
I still think that should be the thing for which he's the most famous. It should be brought up every time he's mentioned. In any news article, any interview, any history book. "Elon Musk, who was offered a chance to end world hunger and turned it down." Put it on his fucking gravestone.
may I offer you these knockoffs in this economy
i found more horse pics
online library so far:
margaret atwood
the brontës (the complete works is a MASSIVE file fyi)
anne carson
hélène cixous
bell hooks
clarice lispector
audre lorde
virginia woolf
compilations
feminist theory
academic writing (both books and articles)
everything here is in pdf format so you should be able to download and read it on any device. it’s slow going because i have a lot of epubs that i have to convert before uploading and the folders i’ve listed here are neither complete nor comprehensive, but it’s a start!Â
9-5 office job makes you realise that people in fact will pay you for doing nothing

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the binding of laika
ben florin, "laika"/jamaica kincaid/le loup, "we are gods! we are wolves!"/archival footage of the soviet space program/genesis 22/alan shapiro, "space dog"/olesya turkina, soviet space dogs/brennig davies, "first dog in space"/daniel ortberg, "children's stories made horrific: curious george"/idomeneo prepares to sacrifice his son in the garsington opera production of "idomeneo"/alan shapiro, "space dog"/louise glück/jonathan coulton, "space doggity"/bojack horseman, "free churro"/maynard solomon, mozart: a life/mac demarco in an interview with npr/@/fateology, “muttnik”/unknown/alex wellerstein writing for the new yorker/ ancient doll found in roman egypt/steiff laika toy/guillermo del toro's pinocchio/richard silken/laika wikipedia page/bojack horseman, "free churro"/photograph of laika//nih.gov’s page on oleg gazenko/oleg gazenko/alan shapiro, "space dog"
they can't die god won't let them