Arizona Road Adventures

At this time, there are two individuals who are being questioned in relation to these incidents. However, I would rather them not tell us they are questioning someone until they are CERTAIN this person or these individuals are directly related and have caused these incidents. Too much to ask? Don’t get my hopes up. Maybe Mesa PD should jump in...they get shit done!

Well…as happy as Monday can get. I saw the funniest shit today, and it wasn’t an idiot driver. I was at the gas station and I noticed the driver of the car in front of me was hella tall….I mean like HELLA TALL. But he had a teeny car…a Toyota Matrix. Or maybe he just made that car look teeny. Anyway, we finished at the same time and as we get to the end of the driveway I noticed his license plate read “610Ginger” with appropriate letters missing to fit the 7 characters…but I was dead laughing because he was for real 6'10"…had to be, and he was a ginger (redhead for y'all who really don’t know). He made my day tho lol. I was hoping my pump would finish first so I could get a pic on snapchat but he finished right before me 😔😔😔

Ohh Monday...how we love you so AM commute: I love the moment when two freeways join and the quick decisions that cars make in fear of their sudden lane ending, except when the 101 and the 202 join up north there's still quite a bit of lane for y'all to remain in. Well this time 4 cars decided it was a brilliant idea to all get over at the same time. Surprisingly all using their indicators 👏👏. But wait, now they decide to get pissed at each other because they all got over at the same time...so let's cut off and piss off some other cars in the process 😂. Oh arizona... PM commute: So I'm off work now and I'm not necessarily in the "rush hour" bucket...i m on the freeway before it begins (2:15). However, it's Monday and y'all find it necessary to freak out for whatever reason, so here goes. Broadway curve right before the 60 on ramp...y'all know that's the slow zone just because of merging...well today we are going slow for NO REASON AT ALL. In fact, the only thing on the side of the road was a lonely Civic with his hazards on. Hmmm..hey guys let's all stop and stare! Let's continue down the freeway a bit and we've reached the 1-10 and Ray....y'all know this backs up a bit starting here for everyone getting off on chandler and those getting on the 202. Indecisive van decides its a genius idea to change lanes once, twice...no five times because he doesn't know where the fuck he's going!!! Cutting off everyone and their future spouses and unborn children in the process.

I have passed a few notable idiots, however their stories aren’t worthy of being mentioned here on zonaroadz. I’m sure here in the next few weeks as we get rain and the weather rolls in I’ll have tons of idiocy for y'all. Stay tuned!! 😜😜😜

So I’m on my street home...and a white Dodge Ram cuts off the gold Grand Am (no indicator), so Grand Am gets pissed and goes into the left lane and quickly cuts off the Dodge Ram (using the wrong indicator). So I’m now behind the Dodge Ram....who now decides its a good time to make a right turn, again not using indicator. REALLY?! But it’s so close to your hands....just a flick! “Look at the flicka da finga” <---- yea because it wouldn’t be your wrist...ya know...ya know.

Holy fucking shit.. Ok picture this. I'm driving on a street and I'm about to make a left turn onto a pretty wide street. It's late at night so I'd like to assume that this street I'm turning onto with cars at a red light are where they should be...ya know because that's the rules of the road. NO! JUST FUCKING KIDDING. Here sits a Scion XB...or as I like to call them "toasters" in the leftmost lane, with it's left turn signal on....ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. Then...oh...just then, it has the nerve to honk at ME?! Like ok, are you honking because you think I'm gonna hit you?? Or are you honking to let me know you're on the wrong side of the road like a fucking dumbass. Did you not see the white lights directly in front of you because I'm sure when the light turns green they would like their side of the road back. Classic Arizona...classic

Sitting at this stoplight for the freeway ...enjoying the sunrise and I shit you not a bird landed on my car! Saw him fly up and a half second later his scratchy little feet land on my car.

Now as I’m leaving Starbucks…mind you it is a small sort of zig zag parking lot shared with another store…and at 5:30am that shared parking lot is typically empty. People like to cut across to get straight to the lot in front of SB. Well…it sure helps when cars don’t coordinate their zig zags across the lot and nearly crash into each other right? I mean that very expensive and clean brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee almost hit that poor little 1999 Toyota Corolla. I think grandma really needed her caffeine fix otherwise I’d like to think she’d be a little bit more aware? Maybe? Nah…it’s Arizona after all. All the while I’m sipping my Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino waiting for these idiots to get it together…but that’s none of my business tho.

2. Next up we have the Ford Explorer, cruising below the city limits as we’re approaching a corner. Now I’m gonna make the assumption that he doesn’t know what an indicator is...because...well...y’all just don’t know. NO, he does one better and sticks his hand out the window and points to the right, “indicating” that he’s making a right turn. I couldn’t help but laugh. 

For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

Now about the crash…guy hit the median head on at about a 45 degree angle…I’m curious… looked like they were ok though.

2. Douchebag Camaro tried to speed past me only to get stopped at a red light. I laughed so hard!!!😂😂😂😂 and caught a glimpse of him in the side view mirror watching me laugh at him. Awwww bahahahaha