carter

The two of you were clearing the deck of the previous night’s wreckage while you discussed the plan. Now that it wasn’t raining, you could stand on the deck with your human legs. No more flopping around uselessly. 

At some point, Eijirou called out for you. He’d spent the morning searching for any merfolk to gather information from. While you knew who you were looking for, you still had no idea where he could be. 

“Did you find anything?” You asked, over the side of the boat. 

“No, my apologies, your highness. There aren’t any merfolk swimming in these waters, especially at this time of year when fishermen are most active.” 

“It's alright,” You sighed, “Why don’t you come up and help us?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to encroach on your human’s territory.”

You let out a small laugh, “Oh, no need to worry about that. Humans don’t appreciate territorial boundaries the way we do.”

Merfolk could be very territorial of their homes, especially towards those they saw as adversaries. Food, shelter and family are very precious in the ocean. Which is to say, merfolk aren’t very good at sharing. 

“If you say so.” 

As Eijirou swam around to climb aboard, Katsuki let out another grumble.

“What are you two fish blabbing about?”

“I invited him to come help us clean.”

“What!” Katsuki shouted, “Why the hell would you do that? We can finish this-”

But before he could complete his whining, Eijirou pulled himself up and over the ladder. His large arms rippled with the movement, making it look as easy as breathing to pull his ginormous form onto the deck. The sun was hot and dried him off quickly, so the transformation only took a minute. Both you and Katsuki were staring as he stood on wobbly knees, completely naked. Neither you nor Katsuki had realized just how big the man was until he was standing in front of you. 

“Holy shit,” Katsuki breathed. It was so quiet you almost missed it, but it was enough to snap you out of your trance. 

Awkwardly clearing your throat, you frantically searched for something to cover him up. Katsuki had removed his overcoat a few minutes prior, so you quickly picked it up and tossed it to Eijirou. 

“Um, here,” You tried not to look below his shoulders as you handed him the coat. 

“Hey!” Katsuki objected, but it was too late. 

“Oh, thank you.” He delicately put on the jacket. It was pretty tight on him and did very little to cover his lower half, but that wasn’t what caught your attention.

“You can understand the common tongue?” You asked, excited at how advanced his speaking was. Most merfolk struggled with certain consonants, as they weren’t audible underwater. It took you years of study with your tutors to get them right. The majority of merfolk never learned the common tongue, as they had no need for it. So how he learned any of the language at all was astounding. 

“Uh, small words?” He seemingly asked for clarification.

“You speak human?”

“Yes, some.”

“That’s amazing!” 

Eijirou tilted his head, like a poor stray dog.

“Sorry, um, good!” You patted his shoulder. 

“That’ll probably come in handy at some point.” Katsuki said, “I’ll grab him some pants.”

Katsuki disappeared into the cabin for a moment. 

“How’d you learn to speak like that?”

“Like what?”

“Your accent. It's very good.”

“Oh well,” He blushed, “I had a small fascination with humans when I was young. I’d sneak off when I wasn’t supposed to and listen to their conversations. I’d try to mimic their voices and- sorry this is embarrassing.”

“No, no! Don’t be embarrassed. I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you, your highness.”

Katsuki came back with trousers, “Here, the biggest pair I own.”

“Thank you.” Eijirou gave him a small bow. Unlike the overcoat, the pants seemed to confuse the poor shark.

“Here, let me help you,” You smiled, trying not to laugh at his perplexed expression. You held out the trousers for him.

“Put one leg in each hole, one at a time,” You instructed, “Feel free to put your hands on my shoulders. For balance.”

“This is ridiculous,” Katsuki scoffed, “Have fun you two, I’m gonna keep working.”

Despite his comment, you could feel his eyes on your back as Eijirou held on to you. He was a little unsteady as he slowly put his legs into the trousers, but eventually you got them on. 

“There, perfect.” You smiled with accomplishment. Eijirou smiled back.

“Thank you.” 

“Is that all the bastard knows how to say?” Katsuki snapped over his shoulder.

“Be nice, Katsuki.”

“Fuck off.” 

You chose to ignore his pouting. 

“C’mon, let's clean up.”

“Clean up.” Eijirou mimicked. 

The three of you cleared the deck within the hour and even repaired some of the damage the storm inflicted, all before midday. 

“We really need to head into town, before it’s too late.” Katsuki reminded.

“Yeah, I know.” You sighed, looking over your shoulder to the small port town. It was quaint looking. Probably only a few thousand people. 

“So, who’s gonna stay and babysit shitty scales over here?”

“Why don’t all three of us go into town?” You suggested.  

“No way.”

“Me!” Eijirou interjected, pointing at himself excitedly, “Town! Me!” 

If the man had a tail, it would’ve been wagging. 

“There’s no way I’m going into town with that hunk of meat.” Katsuki glared.

“He’s coming with us or you can stay behind and watch him. Your choice.”

“That’s not fair,” Katsuki whined, “You could stay behind.”

“I could. But I won’t.” 

You stood your ground, refusing to break eye contact. Katsuki was not happy about this, but you didn’t care much.

“Ugh,” Katsuki relented, “Fine.”

“Yes!”

“But you need some clothes that you didn’t just steal from me.”

“What?”

“Just, c'mon." He gestured for you to follow him into the cabin. 

Inside, he rummaged through a large chest, pulling out clothes that you recognized. He held them out to you, and your heart squeezed.

“You…” Your voice drifted off into silence as you held the old tunic and trousers in your hands, “You brought my clothes?”

“Only a couple things,” He scoffed, “Don't get all excited.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

He turned and left the room, giving you some privacy. 

What Katsuki wouldn’t tell you is that he wouldn’t have been able to leave them behind. He wouldn’t tell you how he held the fabric to his face the nights you weren’t with him. How he inhaled your scent. How he couldn’t sleep without it.

He wouldn’t tell you that, no. He wouldn’t dare be the first to say it. The truth that had been lingering in the space between you two since the moment he pulled you from that frigid water. He wouldn’t dare tell you how he really felt, because that would risk losing you. 

~

The marketplace was bright and teeming with townsfolk and excitement. Eijirou was practically bouncing up and down as the three of you entered the bustling square. The stalls were a maze of delicacies and treasures yet to be discovered. It had been ages since you’d been to a real market, so you were excited too.

You’d been trying your best to avoid eyeing Eijirou on the journey in. His human form was something else. Built like an ox, and much taller than you or Katsuki. If you’d met him on some drunken port night a few years ago… you didn’t even want to think about it. Those kinds of thoughts would only make everything more complicated. 

“Alright, we’re not here to do any frivolous shopping so we're in and we’re out. No fucking dilly dallying, got it?”

“Yes, captain." You said it out of genuine instinct, but it came out more sarcastic than you’d intended. Katsuki just rolled his eyes.

“I’m talking to you too, sharkhead.” Katsuki yanked Eijirou back by his collar when he tried to pick up a whole roasted goat with his bare hands. Thankfully, it went unnoticed by the shopkeeper. 

“What-? Ow.” Eijirou cursed under his breath as Katsuki began to pull him by the ear. 

“Don’t. Touch. Anything.” 

“Many sorry, cap-in.” Eijirou made a crude attempt to copy your previous mention of “captain”. You cringed and gave him a small pat on the shoulder. His common tongue still needed some work.

“It’s alright, Eijirou.”

You didn’t seem to notice, but Katsuki caught how the Shark’s pupils dilated at the way you spoke his name. Something ugly stirred under his skin. A kind of jealousy that Katsuki hadn’t felt since the first time he caught you speaking to the fishman. 

As the three of you progressed through the marketplace, the stalls got closer together and the wares became less expensive and glamorous. You scanned the aisles, not spending too long in any one place. Weapons, odd trinkets, vegetable stands and fruit that seemed to be teetering on the edge between ripe and rotten. 

The summer air was humid and thick. The midday sun shone hot on your shoulders and the crown of your head. You didn’t mind much, though. The sun felt like home in contrast to the chilling water and thrashing winds of the night before.

There was the distant sound of music playing out of the windows of a nearby tavern. The breeze blew softly against the back of your tunic. You happily took in the glory of summer. 

But eventually, something began to sour your glorious afternoon.

“What’s that smell?” You held a hand over your nose, trying to avoid the burning flesh smell that was wafting in the air. It was making your stomach churn. 

Both men seemed to flinch at the same time, and they shared a knowing look. You were about to ask what it was about when Eijirou grabbed your hand.

“No,” He said, pulling you back in the direction you came, “This way.”

You pulled out of his grip. They were both hiding something. You could feel it. 

“What are you two keeping from me?”

They both shifted on their feet. Katsuki was avoiding eye contact, simply trying to help pull you along.

“What?” Eijirou’s voice cracked, “Not hiding. No-”

You cut him off, “If you’re not hiding anything then I’ll just go see for myself,”

“No! Wait!” 

Both men reached out to stop you.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Blue, wait!” Katsuki called out.

You didn’t stay to listen to what he had to say. Turning on your heel you marched forward through the market, in search of the awful smell. Eijirou and Katsuki tried to stop you but you pushed past them.

Your gut was telling you to turn around. That something about this was wrong. You should’ve listened to them. Allowed them to shield you from whatever was ahead. But your mind couldn’t just move on. You needed to know, and they had no right to make that decision for you. 

You turned around a corner and saw it. At first, you didn’t quite comprehend what you were seeing. Large, orange and grey spheres on long skewers. But then, as one caught the sunlight you saw it. They were eggs. Merfolk eggs. 

A wave of nausea hit you hard and fast. The world began to spin around you. You fell to your knees as dry heaves racked through you. The boys had caught up and began herding you back to the market entrance. People were staring now. You put a hand over your mouth, legs quivering as the ground tilted under your feet. Shame flushed your cheeks. Eijirou put his arm around you and Katsuki was hovering as he glared at any onlookers. 

“We go,” Eijirou urged, “Now.”

“Yeah, fuck this place.” Katsuki agreed. 

What neither of them wanted to tell you, was that this was not an unusual occurrence. The sale of merfolk as meat and products was becoming more and more common. Stalls selling eggs and mer-steaks were popping up everywhere. Zoos and carnivals captured merfolks and charged by the minute to view them. And it had all started ten years ago. Ever since that fateful day your parents were overthrown. 

~

The sunset that evening was incredible. Once that would’ve been more enjoyable in different circumstances. You sat alone on the beach, staring at the water. 

After the boys had brought you back to the docks, you’d vomited into the water. They’d insisted you change back and recover in the water while they went back into town. You couldn’t argue in your state. 

It’d only taken you a short while in the water before you were itching to leave again. You swam around the docks to the adjacent beach to wait for their return. 

The sand was agony against your scales, but once you’d transformed, it was pleasant on your skin. You tried to enjoy the remainder of the beautiful day, but your mood had been thoroughly dampened. From your spot on the sand watched the docks. Fishermen were returning with the day’s catch. Their boats swayed back and forth with the waves. 

You tried to focus on the scene before you but your mind wouldn’t clear. You couldn’t stop thinking about those eggs. Someone’s children were being eaten by humans. 

Mermaid eggs required specific conditions to develop and took a long time to mature. Children were precious and delicate, requiring years of nurturing. No merfolk would willingly surrender their eggs. They had to have been taken. For the first time since you left the sea, you felt truly guilty about your decision. Somehow, you knew, this was your fault. You were responsible for the fate of your people. You knew your mother and father would not allow this to happen. 

As the sun slipped under the horizon, you wept silently for the dead children. The waves gently lapped the shore as you held your knees to your chest. Closing your eyes, you uttered a soft prayer, one you hadn’t spoken since your parents died. It didn’t bring you any comfort. 

a/n: thanks for reading! please let know if you're still liking the story so far! thank you for sticking around if you're still here, i really can't thank you enough :))

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated <33

Thankfully, Katsuki didn’t take long to wake up. He found you clinging to the side and barely had time to catch you before a wave pushed against the boat and you went falling into him.  

“What the hell are you doing on deck?!” He shouted. You could barely hear him over the sound of the rain and wind. He was holding you to him with one arm while he wrangled ropes with his other. His grip was failing as he held up your entire body weight.  

“I fell asleep!!” You shouted back, feeling useless as he put you down between his legs and against a nearby wall. He couldn’t tie knots with only one hand. 

“You fucking idiot! I told you to leave!” 

You were about to answer when a wave washed over the deck, drowning you out as it washed over you. You tried to hang on to Katsuki but you were picked up and taken overboard. A death sentence for any human, but simply inconvenient for you. 

You had been thrown down far to the bottom by the force of the current. Luckily, the seafloor was almost unaffected by the raging storm above. A stark contrast to the loud winds and crashing waves you had been in moments before. It took you a few seconds to get your bearings, but you caught sight of the ship's belly, quickly making your way towards it. 

As you swam, you noticed how empty the reef was. Besides the slightly stronger current, the weeds and corals were silent and still. A puddle of reef sharks watched as you passed. It seemed everyone was smarter than the three of you, hiding from what was turning out to be a very nasty weather event. 

You found Eijirou underneath the boat and hanging onto the anchor’s line.

“This storm seems bad, is everything alright?”

The current was stronger closer to the surface and you held onto his hand so the two of you wouldn’t get separated. He gripped on to you tightly, his strong hands much larger than your own. 

“Yes, it’s going to be fine, but I need to go help Katsuki.”

“How are you going to do that?”

You would’ve responded but you had already let go of his hand and began surfacing again.

“We need to lift the anchor!” You shouted at Katsuki, who was still trying to tie everything down. He wasn’t fast enough on his own though. The water around the boat was already littered with supplies. 

“No fucking shit!” He shouted over his shoulder. You detected a hint of panic under his anger, but tried not to dwell on your observation. Everything would be fine. 

“I’m on it!”

You dove back down, following the line down to where the anchor was sitting against the bottom. You lifted it with a tug and started pulling it up towards the surface. 

“Kastuki!” You called as your head surfaced. You could swim the anchor up, but it was far too heavy to throw onto the deck, especially in these wild conditions. “Katsuki!”

You called again when you didn't see him. 

“What?!”

“The anchor!”

He immediately ran for the rope and began pulling up the slack. Once the line went taut, you helped lift the anchor as much as you could out of the water. This should normally be a two man job, so your stomach churned with guilt as you watched him pull the anchor up the rest of the way. There was nothing you could do to help him up there. You and your tail and scales were useless on board. You wished you had your necklace, so you could be up there helping him. You’d spent every minute of being with Katsuki trying to be as helpful as possible, so for the first time in a long time, there was nothing you could do but sit and watch as he struggled. 

Now that the anchor was lifted, you and Eijirou had to follow the ship at a significant speed. The waves were rough and the two of you were struggling to stay in sight of the boat. 

Eijirou surfaced next to you, “Tell him to throw us a rope! We can't keep up like this for long!”

You nodded and shouted towards the deck, “Katsuki! Throw us a rope! Please!”

You didn’t hear or see him, but a rope was thrown overboard and into the water a few minutes later. You and Eijirou held onto it tightly, side by side just under the waves where the current was slightly more tolerable. 

“You fought, didn’t you?” Eijirou asked cautiously. You glanced over to him, his face curious, but mostly worried. Your chest tightened with another pang of guilt. You were so wrapped up in your bullshit with Katsuki, you should’ve been paying more attention to Eijirou

“Yes,” You sighed, “Unfortunately. He doesn’t forgive me for lying to him.”

“He didn’t know about your past?”

“No, he didn’t,” You replied, staying silent for a few minutes. You took a big breath before speaking up again. You allowed yourself, for the first time ever, to share a memory you wished every day you could forget. 

“The night before my parents died I had a nightmare.”

Eijirou’s attention snapped to you in an instant. He’d been dying to ask you all sorts of questions about that night. Everyone in the capital had their own story of that night. Of the missing heir. Merfolk still gossiped about if they were dead or alive, a ghost or a fugitive. He was always too scared to ask you. Too afraid of spooking you or coming on too strong. Every second he spent with you, he was holding all his emotions back to keep from word vomiting all over you.  

“I was having them almost every night back then,” You continued, “I was swimming over to their chambers when the soldiers broke in. I don’t remember what happened next. Only that I was in their bedroom and their blood was clouding the water. At first, I thought our pet octopus had escaped again and inked everywhere. But then I smelled it. The metallic taste still haunts me in nightmares. I couldn’t see their faces, just my fathers hand, lifeless and pale.”

Eijirou wanted to apologize, to say something to make you feel better, but all he could do was watch your beautiful face contort into something like grief. His chest tore open, but he was frozen. Unable to move as your breathing hitched and leveled out again. 

“I remember hearing shouting for my name, but I was so scared I ran for the secret passage in the back wall. I used to hide in there during games or when I was trying to avoid my tutors. I would stay at the top and never venture further, for fear I would get trapped in the tight passageway. I never knew where it actually let out until that night. I swam and crawled and squeezed through turns so tight I feared I would be trapped forever. But eventually I made it out. The dropoff. Deep endless black that seemed to go on and on forever. I immediately turned back out of fear, but then I saw the explosions. I watched my home get blown to pieces. So, I went straight for the surface. It was a storm just like this one. I don’t know how long I swam for, but I saw a ship, a great big one, probably military. I used my necklace to transform and called for help, but I was completely ignored, and I couldn't swim as a human, no idea how. The next thing I knew, I was lying in a row boat with Katsuki looking down at me.”

“I see,” Eijirou nodded solemnly, “And you never spoke to him about it?”

“I thought my whole family was dead! I didn’t know who would be coming for me, if they knew I was still alive. All I knew is that I had to protect the only thing I had left that connected me to them.”

“The necklace.” Eijirou answered for you.

“I wanted to tell him the truth, but I was a scared little kid, and he was a stranger. I didn’t know him. But then when I did know him, it felt too late. I always told myself I was just waiting for the right time, but I couldn’t have known any of this would happen. That I'd ever be confronted with this again.”

Eijirou was silent for a minute, but looked to you when his mind sparked a question.

“Why don’t you tell him this? Tell him what you’re telling me?”

“I tried! He wouldn’t listen to me!” You protested, remembering how he shouted at you to get out. 

“Maybe you just need to try again? If you’ve been together as long as you have, I doubt he wants to stay upset with you. He’s probably just as hurt as you. Fix it together, not apart.”

His eyes were big as he watched your face for a reaction. You smiled, laughing a bit at how simple he made this whole situation. There was no doubt in your mind that he was right, and you felt stupid for not thinking of it yourself. 

“Thank you, Eijirou.”

You shook off the memories and gave him a big hug. His arms instantly enveloped you. 

“Of course, your highness.”

Eijirou squeezed you tighter for a moment. His heart hurt to push you towards another, but it hurt more to see you so upset. And he didn’t want to be selfish. You were clearly someone else’s, despite what you had said previously. 

“Looks like the storm is clearing up a bit,” You said, pulling away, “I should go talk to him.”

Eijirou hummed, giving you one last smile before you swam off. 

~

The rain was still pouring, but the waves had calmed significantly. There was only a soft sway to the boat as you hauled yourself up onto the deck. 

Katsuki was sitting on the floor, his head hanging as he rested his elbows on his knees. His wet hair was sticking to his forehead, obscuring his eyes. He didn’t acknowledge you as you crawled closer to him. The lantern’s glass had shattered in the onslaught of the storm, so now the only light was the moon. It washed the deck in weak pale blues and dark grey, but your eyes had no trouble even in the low lighting. 

The deck was a mess. Rope and broken crates littered everywhere, and you had to move things out of the way to reach Katsuki. One of the sails had torn and laid pathetically in a pile by his feet. 

“What do you want?” He grumbled. His voice was so tired. Clearly, Katsuki had exhausted himself with all the commotion of the storm. 

As you got closer to him, you could hear his wheezing breaths, and the blood dripping from his left palm. 

“You’re hurt.” 

He ignored you. You sighed, tucking your tail underneath you in order to sit up properly.  

“Do you ever listen?” The words seemed to heave out of his chest, “I thought I told you to get lost.”

“I can heal you.”

“What?”

“I can heal you, idiot.”

One of the spells you’d never forget, since it was the first you ever learned. 

After a long day of music lessons, you were bored out of your mind and snuck off to the kelp forests. The dark purple urchins littered the sea floor and you tried your best to avoid their spines. But as you got distracted by a playful octopus, the tide had gone out, and you were trapped. The only way out was a shallow passage covered in urchins. You had scraped your tail and belly something fierce and cried the whole swim back to the castle. Your grandmother found you as you attempted to creep back over the wall into the royal garden.

You could still, even now, remember the scent of her as she held you to her. Abalone and Squid ink, the latter of which she used to dye her hair so often that it was always a pitch black. 

“You will remember this song won’t you, nettle?” She whispered as she held her palm to the cuts on your tail. She hummed a melody so pure and gentle, her hands glowing with power as she slowly healed your wounds.

Nettle was your nickname given to you by your father. Most of the royal merchildren were given names as they grew older, a birth name was only ever used as a formality to keep track of family lineage. Ever since you were a young pup, you had a habit of wandering off. One day you had disappeared, and the whole castle was sent into chaos trying to locate you. It wasn’t until your father began to search outside the castle when he found you, perfectly asleep… in a swarm of sea nettles. After that day he referred to you as nettle. But it was a name you’d left far behind, there was no one left to remember that name. Except you. But maybe there would be one more. If you were ever able to find him.

“Lay down.” You instructed, gesturing to the floor.

“Quit bossing me around.” He barked back, finally making eye contact since you climbed aboard. 

“Do you want my help or not?”

His eyes glared daggers. Katsuki hated being told what to do, but you were not in the mood to deal with his shit. So, you stared back, unrelenting. 

“Gods, you’re annoying.” He gave in after a few moments, sighing in exasperation.

“Take your shirt off and lie back.” You said, ignoring his snark. 

“Is this just a trick to see me naked or are you actually going to help?” He said with a smirk, pulling his tattered, wet tunic over his head. He tossed it away and it landed with a smack against the wooden deck. He crossed his arms over his chest. You guessed it was some strange attempt at avoiding vulnerability.

You rolled your eyes, “Lie back.”

He gave one last glare before relenting.

“Alright, fine, whatever…” 

He leaned back, showing you the full extent of his injury. You pulled yourself closer, getting a closer look. His whole left side was bruised, the red marks just starting to turn purple. His right hand had a horrible gash, likely from a rope. 

“Okay, hold still,” You said, holding one hand over his ribs and the other around his still bleeding palm. You felt him shiver at the touch beneath you. He tried to adjust around your hands, likely in an attempt to cover up his reaction. 

“I still don’t see how this is going to do shit,” He grumbled, still fidgeting, “You’re no doctor.”

“Just shut up and keep still,” You scolded. He finally seemed to get the idea that you were serious and held still.

The melody came easily, you’d never ever allowed yourself to forget it. Sometimes you sing it before bed, or after a nightmare. No magic, just the melody. It was soothing in that way. This spell was wordless, like all the oldest spells were. With no language to invoke the feelings of the spell, it required concentration to conjure the magic. You pushed away thoughts of your old home, your grandmother and the ocean. You focused on Katsuki, on mending what was broken. You pictured his injuries in your mind and imagined them stitching themselves back together. The bones growing back together and the bruises fading. Skin reuniting and scars fading.

Katsuki watched as you sang aloud, hand glowing against his abdomen and clasped around his own. He watched your face in shock and awe. Your eyes closed, mouth moving and eyebrows knit in deep concentration.

When the song faded and the light from your hands went out, Katsuki could only lay there with his mouth agape. His pain in his hand and side were gone. Completely. The bruising was gone too. He could take a breath without wincing.

“Wha…” The words died on his tongue as you opened your eyes to look at him.

“See, I told you.”

“You– What?” Katsuki sat up and held his sides, as if he was checking his ribs were still there, “How? When–? Who?”

You watched him stare at his hand like it wasn’t his own, eyes wide and unblinking. 

“My grandmother taught me that spell.” You responded honestly, “My family is- was special. We can do magic.”

“What? Magic? No, you're not a mage. You’re just- Fuck. No. No. This isn’t real. This is just a fever dream and I'm dying of some sickness. You’re–”

You cut him off by holding his face in your hands, “This is real, I healed you with magic. You’re okay, you're fine.”

His eyes met yours and he took a deep breath, “Fuck, sorry this is just… a lot.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about all of this a long, long time ago.”

His face softened, but he didn't look away. You pushed down the raging urge to kiss him, knowing it would do you no good. 

“Yeah, you should’ve.”

He shook off your embrace and stood up. The two of you were silent as he put his tunic back on. It wasn’t fully dry yet, but Katsuki felt too vulnerable without something to cover his chest.

“I thought only mages could do magic,” He gave you a suspicious look. The idea that you could be keeping yet another secret from him was frustrating. He wanted to fuel that anger. To yell and scream, but his head was still fuzzy from the spell.

“You're no mage.” 

“No, but I don't have to be one. Sirens can do magic as well.”

Siren. That word gave him pause. He recognized it from his studies as a teenager. Old magical oceanic creatures that merfolk worshipped like gods. His mother had taken him to an old tidal shrine once. The fog hadn’t fully subsided in the early morning light and he had pulled his cape around him to brave the cold. The shrine was eerie against the grey background. Its pillars were coated in mussel and oyster rock, seaweed pooled around it like fallen drapes. The place was long abandoned, and his mother reveled in showing him the rubble. He could picture her smirk as she pushed over a crumbling stone wall with her boot. 

Katsuki pushed down the memory, putting it back in the past where it belonged.

“But, they all died out centuries ago. Didn’t they?” He asked, looking to you.

“Yes, they were hunted to extinction. But their magic survived in our bloodline. My ancestor was the son of the last siren. He was… no it doesn’t matter.”

You let out a sigh, the spell had worn you out. Only now were you beginning to feel the effect of your expenditure. Your arms quaked under your own weight, and you shifted back to relieve the stress on your muscles. Katsuki however, didn’t seem to notice or care. 

“Fuck you,” Katsuki spat, “Of course it matters.”

“What?” You looked up from the floorboards. His face was contorted and angry as he spoke. 

“Don’t ever talk like that.”

“Like what?” 

You didn’t understand what you could’ve done to annoy him this time. He paced back and forth, his shoulders tense. 

“Like I don't care. Like I’m not even worth the fucking effort to tell the story.”

“That’s not why-”

“I don’t fucking care, just… don’t do that.” He deflated, stopping to lean against the railing and stare out at the water. 

“Okay,” You conceded, “I won’t.”

✧next✧

a/n: thank you for reading! it means a lot to me if you've made it this far and you're still reading <3

thank you to @saemeret, the smartest hammer in the bag

You answered the call, curling into your spot on the bed again. The same spot where you had been sobbing only moments before.

"Hey, what are you doing right now? I've got a fuck ton of extra ramen that I know you'll like, you free?"

"Um, maybe?" Your voice embarrassingly breaks, but you pray he can't detect the remnants of the tears in your throat.

"I'm kinda not-"

But like a dog on a scent, he picks it up just like that.

"Have you been crying?" Katsuki asks, as if the act of crying itself is offensive to him.

"Um.." The question had the tears threatening to fall again, "No?"

Your answer came out much more like a question than you had meant it to. You were holding the crumbling walls of your mind up with your bare hands. Fingers scraping and clawing for any purchase on the sharp edges. The practice was normal. You didn't know any other feeling. If you weren't holding it all in, where was it supposed to go?

"Idiot, I'm coming over."

"No, Katsuki-" But it was too late. He hung up.

"Great." You sighed, further collapsing into your bed.

You loved Katsuki, but you didn't want him coming over and seeing you all red faced and snotty. Especially since he'd ask what's wrong. And you would not have an easy answer for him, or an answer at all really. For some reason today was just one of those days.

There was a strong knock at the door. Jeez, you thought. It had only taken him five mintues to get to your place.

Before opening the door, you took a few deep, trembling breaths. You would not lose your shit. You would manage, like you always do. And the last thing you wanted to do was make your shit his problem. You were sure he had enough going on right now.

Katsuki was slightly out of breath and a little sweaty as he stood holding a large plastic bag, completely filled to brim.

"Did you blast here?" You were a little shocked. He wasn't normally so eager to help out.

"Shut up n' let me in."

You stepped aside, and he kicked off his shoes quickly, placing the plastic bag down as he did.

"What's wrong?" He gave you a soft glare, arms crossed over his chest like he was going to interrogate you. His question had come out like a command. He was demanding to have all the information, as you knew he would.

But your normal ease that seemed to come naturally around him, had melted away. You stood, hands holding your sides, lip trembling underneath its hold between your teeth.

You promised yourself you wouldn't do this, that you would keep it together. You were so mad at yourself that you couldn't keep your eyes from watering, that you just had to make a big deal out of everything. But the longer he waited for an answer, and the more you looked at his angry, yet concerned face, you couldn't hold it in.

"I'm sorry-" You didn't get to finish your apology before he was scooping you up in the biggest hug you'd ever received. You were hyperventilating, sobbing into his shoulder and the more you tired to stop it the worse it came out.

Months of anger, anxiety and despair flooded out all at once. The dam had cracked, and there was nothing you could do to hold it in anymore.

You were terrified that at any moment Katsuki would pull away, angry and upset, and leave you in a pile of shattered pieces. But to your surprise, he just waited, ever so patiently, for you to calm down. Squeezing you tight and just barely rubbing your back.

Once your breathing had slowed closer to normal, he pulled away to make eye contact.

"Better?"

"Yeah, a bit, thank you." You wiped your face, "I'm sorry for exploding."

"It's fine, don't worry about it," He gave you one last sincere look before he moved away to pick up the bag he brought in, "Hungry?"

You nodded, sniffling and attempting to wipe away the last of your tears. There was something about his calm demeanor that always found a way to bring you back to center. You couldn't help but feel a little guilty for all he was doing for you, but you tried to push that feeling down.

Following him into the kitchen like a sad puppy dog, you watched Katsuki unpack the contents of the bag. He deftly began preparing the extra ramen he had made. You stood in the doorway and wrung your hands.

"You really don't have to do this."

"I know I don't have to, idiot. It's no big deal." He gave one quick glance over his shoulder before silently resuming his work.

You sighed, shuffling over to the unoccupied corner of the kitchen floor and sliding down into it. As you sat, you swore you saw a flash of concern in his eyes. Brushing past it, you hugged your knees and watched him work.

It only took him five minutes, but it felt longer. An extended silence that had quieted your mind.

"Oh, hey, I brought some DVDs," He nodded to the bag on the counter, "Wanna pick one out and start it? Food'll be ready soon."

You and Katsuki had bonded over your shared obsession with physical media like DVDs, CDs, and your grandma's collection of VHS tapes. You still remember that first conversation about it like yesterday.

You'd gone out to some terrible work event, where the food was inedible and the drinks were strong. Your shitty co-worker who was supposed to be your ride had bailed. So, you called Katsuki.

By the time he picked you up, your stomach was phsically vibrating with hunger. So he’d driven you both out to get some shitty fast food. You were very drunk, talking loudly in his car, the smell of him overwhelming you.

Somehow you’d gotten on the topic of your DVD collection and something sparked in his eyes.

“Yeah like, if you don’t have it in your hands it’s not really yours, is it?”

“Exactly!”

The memory playing again in your head had you smiling as you rummaged through the bag. You discovered that he brought one of your favorites of his collection. It was one you’d yet to get your hands on a copy of, so you mooched off of him at any chance you got.

You quickly made your way to the DVD player in the living room to pop the disc in.

The sounds of the TV starting up, the whirl of the DVD as it started spinning, it was pure nostalgia. You sighed, fully kneeling in front of the console. You closed your eyes, losing yourself to the sounds of age eight.

Katsuki brought the ramen out from the kitchen, setting it down on the coffee table. The sound of it jolted you from your trance, and got up from your spot on the floor.

“I knew you’d pick this one.” He commented after seeing the title screen.

“Shut up,” You were smiling, but that didn’t mean you’d let him get away with his teasing.

“C’mere.” He patted the couch next to him. You sat a few inches away, comfortable in his presence. But you couldn’t stop the butterflies from erupting in your stomach as he scooted closer.

The two of you ate in silence. It was so delicious as always, and you told him as much, but the conversation died quickly. You pretended to watch the movie as you sat and thought about your proximity to him.

After the two of you had finished eating, he somehow found a way to get even closer to you. Both your legs were touching and his arm was over your shoulder. You’d never been this close to him before. Sure, you’d been friends for a long time, almost a decade at this point. But Katsuki wasn't a touchy person, and it was only until this last year that your normal dynamic had begun to change.

It was slightly circumstantial, but somehow, you starting hanging out with Katsuki more than anyone else in your friend group. And more and more, it would just be the two of you. The last ones at the party, random “come over” texts, long hours on call, little things like that.

But this, this was new. Katsuki tended to avoid physical intimacy, and this felt like you’d unlocked the secret basement door. You'd tunneled your way deep into the Katsuki Fortress, and found the buried treasure.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked out of the blue, turning his face from the screen. You met his eyes, face perfectly stoic, calm.

“Not really.” You looked back at the tv, “Just wanna… sit here? Be close?”

You glanced back, gauging his reaction. He just nodded and pulled you closer. His shifted his arm behind your back so that his hand held your waist, and the contact was burning through your skin.

As you turned back to the movie, a subtle calm fell over you. Your heartbeat slowed, eyelids becoming heavier with every minute. Katsuki seemed to notice this, and guided your head onto his shoulder.

Next thing you knew, the movie was over. Katsuki was gently tapping your thigh, and his hand on your waist gave a gentle squeeze in attempt to wake you.

“Oh, did I fall asleep?” You rubbed the sleep from your eyes.

“Yeah, slept through the best part too.” He was chuckling, but you didn’t notice. His hand was still on your thigh, the warmth of his palm radiating through your pajama pants.

“You tired? Want me to go?” He asked, regaining your attention.

You thought about it. It would be a new level of intimacy, asking him to stay. But the thought of being without his calming presence, it was enough to push past the embarrassment.

You shook your head, yawning, “No, don’t go. Could you maybe.. stay the night?”

Katsuki was silent, eyes a little wide, and you worried you’d stepped too far.

“You don’t have to! It’s okay if-“

“Shut up, of course I'm staying,” He huffed in annoyance, “Just was… surprised.”

His thumb rubbed a small circle into the plaid fabric of your pants. Your heartbeat roared in your chest, rising up your neck and into your ears.

“You want me to sleep in the couch? Floor? And you have shit in that tiny ass kitchen for pancakes, right? From last time I was here? You know you don’t eat enough for breakfast, it’s ridiculous…”

He continued on about your messy ass apartment and how you never keep it tidy enough, but you weren’t listening. His thumb was still moving on your thigh and your head was still on his shoulder. Your brain had gone to static, but something about that was exactly what you needed. Numb, calm, warm. Not worried, not anxious, just blissfully basking in his presence.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?”

“Hmm?”

You tilted your head to look up at him, and his annoyed expression melted instantly.

“Nevermind, let’s get you to bed.” He sighed, helping you up off the couch. You easily let him guide you to your bedroom, only slightly tripping. Which, of course, he teased you about.

"Seriously, can't ever leave you alone, you'll end up killing yourself from falling off a cliff or something." He sounded concerned but his face said something more amusing.

"Shush." You were smiling too.

Luckily, you didn't have to change, as your previous crying session had required comfy attire. So Katsuki just placed you on your bed.

"If this was any other night I'd make you brush your teeth but," He sat next to you, "I don't want to."

He meant: "I'd rather be in bed with you." but he didn't have to say it for you to know it.

"Hmm," You leaned your head on his shoulder once more, "Stay here with me?"

You held out your hand, resting it on his thigh.

"Tch," He took your hand, leaning his head onto yours, "You don't have to ask."

You picked up his hand and held it palm up. You slowly began to trace the lines of his skin. Feeling each of his calluses and scars, tracing them into your memory for as long as you could hold onto them.

"You into hands or something?" He was trying to make a joke, but his voice lifted in fear, a noise you rarely heard from him.

"No," You intertwined your fingers again, resting both of your hands on his lap, "I just really like yours."

"Oh..."

You always wished you were able to hear his thoughts, he was so hard to read it made you angry. But now, the desire was a painful tug in your gut. You wanted him so badly it hurt.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what?" His thumb brushed the back of your hand idly.

"What are you thinking right now?" You lifted your head to face him as you asked.

His eyes widened, "You really wanna know?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, its better if I show you," He was clearly nervous and looked to you for a response.

"Okay, show me."

He gave you a conflicted look, bottom lip held between his teeth, but it was only a moment of hesitation before he was holding your face and kissing you.

It was small and sweet at first. His hands holding your cheeks with desperation and desire, while you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He felt so good, soft, but not too gentle. The push and pull of his movements was sucking you in.

But slowly the kisses became faster, more desperate, more hungry. The years of tension and want had caught up to you both.

You didn't even logically register what was happening until he was on top of you kissing your neck.

"Wait," You instinctively breathed, out of breath and catching up to the situation.

Katsuki immediately stopped, lifting his head to look at you. His eyes were soft and concerned and you wished you hadn't said anything.

"Is this really happening? Am I dreaming right now?"

"No, you're not," He kissed you softly on the lips again, "I want you. But tell me to stop and I will."

"No, no, don't stop. I just needed to pinch myself, double check that its you really kissing me and not my pillow."

"Imagined your pillow was me before, huh?" His confidence returned with a smirk.

"Shut up," Your face burned, "Maybe I have, so what?"

He just chuckled and returned to kissing down your neck. You were dizzy, lost in the feeling of his lips on your skin. Still unsure of the reality of the situation, you gripped his shirt in attempt to ground your self.

"Maybe just slow down a bit?" You whispered, a little afraid to ruin the moment, "I just want to take our time, no rushing."

He didn't respond, but the way his kisses slowed against your neck you knew he got the message.

"You're so damn pretty," He mumbled, like your beauty was somehow an inconvenience. He sat up, staring down at you for a moment, before laying and pulling you close, your head was against his chest. As much as he wanted to go further, tonight was not the night. Whatever was happening between the two of you, he knew it was special, and he wanted to tread carefully.

Small butterflies fluttered in your stomach as he placed gentle kisses on your forehead. You didn't understand why the two of you were ever so far apart. How did you not know sooner?

"You can always call me you know," He murmured against your forehead.

"What?" You shifted to look him in the eyes.

"I mean like today. You could've called me. You don't have to suffer all by yourself."

He brushed his fingers over your temple softly, and your eyes darted away. You didn't even realize there was a solution to your problem. It had been staring you in the face this entire time. Your eyes returned to his. He was holding your face in his hand, his palm hot against your burning cheeks.

"Next time, I will." you whispered, kissing his lips softly, "I promise."

He seemed not fully satisfied with your answer, but he kissed you anyways.

The two of you fell asleep in each others arms. There was no discomfort, no worrying. Just pure warmth and peace. Your heart beat was slow and calm, and you had nothing to think about. No future plans, no creeping anxieties. Just his arms around you and the press of his lips against the crown of your head.

Peace. At last.

a/n : hoped you liked this one, super duper old draft that needed to come out. originally this had a super smutty ending, but i didn't feel like that matched the vibe i was going for.

but if that sounds interesting to you, be brave, leave a comment, and i will consider a pt2 /-\

this also continues the theme of me writing based off songs, this one being pajama pants by cavetown (shout out to the gays i know ur out there)

✧part 1✧

✧part 2✧

✧part 3✧

✧part 4✧

✧part 5✧

✧part 6✧

✧part 7 coming soon!✧

Everything was done under the cover of darkness, when all the other crew mates would be asleep or below deck. Katsuki was kind enough to help you and Eijirou out of the tub and into the sea. He didn’t think it was very kind, however. How else would you have gotten out of that tub?

You all decided that Eijirou should go first, so you wouldn’t be alone in the water. Katsuki avoided any and all eye-contact as he carried the merman up the stairs. Something about the shark made Katsuki nervous. And Katsuki hated being nervous.

When it was your turn, Katsuki returned to the hold to carefully carry you up the stairs. You were quiet as you ascended, both of you refusing to look at the other or make conversation. Each step felt heavier than the last, as if he was dragging out the whole process. He paused just before throwing you over, a few feet from the edge.

“You sure about this?” He asked, “There’s no way I can convince you to stay?”

“No,” You sighed. He was trying desperately to give you an out. But to you, there was no out. This was the only way. You peered out at the ocean beneath you. The water you had spent a decade avoiding sloshed in a beckoning motion that made your stomach turn.

“I have no choice.” You gave him a sad smile, “This is my only option. And if he’s alive, I need to find him.”

Katsuki sighed in resignation, “I know.”

He gently held you over the side, your eyes meeting for a moment. You let him have this, these few seconds where you both could pretend that nothing had changed. That he would always be captain and you his first mate. That this ship was still the only home either of you ever knew, and the only family either of you had left was each other. For those few seconds, you pretended you’d wake up tomorrow in his bed, like you did any other day. And as he let go, you fell still thinking of his arms, of warm sheets and sunlight streaming through the windows.

You dived under the water with a lazy splash. The salty water was smooth and cool against your scales. You opened your eyes to a world of deep blue. You spun around in the water and noticed Eijirou, who had been eagerly awaiting your arrival, swimming up to you.

“You made it,” He smiled a big toothy grin, “You look so beau- uh, awesome!”

Despite his correction, you caught his small slip up and grinned, giving him a small twirl. “Thank you.”

Eijirou led you to a small reef nearby. At this time of night, it was quiet with very little activity. The two of you eventually found a large enough, mostly unoccupied crevice for the two of you to curl up in for the night.

It had been years since you’d slept in this form, and never anywhere so… simple. But Eijirou was patient and guided you through it. Taking your hand, he helped you flatten out against the coral as he held you from behind. This sleeping position was common, especially in schools, as a way of protecting and sheltering each other. But it still felt… intimate.

You were in your head, overthinking when Eijirou whispered, “Goodnight, your highness. I promise to keep you safe.”

You sighed in relief, there was nothing to worry about. You just needed to sleep. And luckily after that, sleep came easily.

The next morning you awoke to something tickling your nose. You opened your eyes and found yourself nose to nose with a small blue and black striped cleaner fish. Chuckling, you noticed there were dozens of them, all busily cleaning your and Eijirou’s scales.

There was light streaming in from the holes in the coral. Eijirou awoke as you attempted to shift out of his grip, his arms instinctively squeezing tighter.

You let out another small laugh, barely able to turn around to face him. He groaned and slowly blinked awake. When he noticed how close you were, he quickly released you from his grip.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was–” “

Don’t worry about it,”

You smiled and pushed yourself toward the exit.

You were in awe as you looked around. Last night the reef had been asleep, but now it was bustling and crowded with thousands of sea creatures. The light of day illuminated everything that was grey and blue before. Now there were reds and yellows and purples, colors you had forgotten existed from all our time on land.

“This way your highness,” Eijirou had followed you out, “We should get back to the ship.”

“Right.” You nodded, trailing behind him.

You couldn’t help but keep looking around at this beautiful reef as you continued on. Everything was exploding with color, neon wrasses and butterfly fish pooled around your hands and tail as you swam behind Eijirou.

You gasped as you caught a glimpse of a manta ray and stopped to admire it as it swam past. Once you had stopped however, all the fish began crowding you, as though you were a beacon they were innately drawn to.

You smiled as a black tip reef shark skated out in front of you. The other fish gave it a wide berth, but didn’t disperse as it came up to nuzzle into your palm. You began to hum as you allowed the small shark to spin you around.

Eijirou turned at the sound of your voice, his heartstrings pulled at the sight of you. He didn’t recognize the song you were singing, but it sounded like an old lullaby, like something you’d sing to small younglings to calm them down. He was paralyzed in awe for a few minutes before remembering where he was, and what he was doing. He called your name, softly at first, but when you didn’t hear him, he called again, louder.

“Yes?” You turned and the look on your face was so perfect, Eijirou knew he was done for.

“We, um,” He almost forgot what he was going to say, “We should keep going. Don’t want your human to worry.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” You gave him an apologetic smile, “Didn’t mean to get distracted.”

“Don’t apologize, your highness, you did nothing wrong.” He smiled back confidently and swam on. Then it was your turn to forget what you were going to say.

~

The Perseus docked before dawn. The crew was let go just before it came into port, shortly afterwards each of them departed with their belongings and a week's pay. Katsuki gave the two of you a nod from the dock before heading into the small town to gather supplies.

While he was gone, Eijirou spent the morning helping you remember how to swim with the current, jump and hunt. It was a glorious day in the harbor. Big puffy clouds and water so clear you could see all the way to the bottom. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had this much fun, and Eijirou had the biggest smile on his face as the two of you jumped and played under the waves. Once you felt more comfortable in your fins, the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon hunting sea bass.

Katsuki returned that evening and sailed behind the Perseus in a small fishing vessel. The boat was small, but reasonable. It would go unnoticed in most ports as a regular fishing vessel.

You and Eijirou raced each other to the boat, jumping up and over the water in attempts to show off your new skills to Katsuki. You hoped he would be happy with all your improvements, but that hope didn’t last long.

Katsuki had the whole day by himself to fester in his thoughts. And nothing good comes from festering. The longer he sat with what was going on, the more frustrated he got. He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that you had been lying to him for a whole decade, with no plans on ever telling him the truth. He had begun to question your entire relationship. If any of it had ever been real. So, of course when he saw you bounding up to him, he wasn’t exactly pleased to see you.

“Are you trying to alert the whole harbor? Quit splashing about, someone will see you!” Katsuki scolded as you approached the boat.

Your smile dropped, “Sorry, I was just a little excited.” Eijirou gave your back a small rub of consolation. Even though he couldn’t exactly understand what was said, he still knew that it wasn’t very nice. The two of you followed below as Katsuki steered the ship out of the harbor and around to the back of the island where you’d have more privacy.

You surfaced and awkwardly waited for Katsuki to look at you while he let down the anchor. He didn’t. So there you waited, treading water pathetically as you reran every gentle moment you had shared with Katsuki in your mind. You wondered if you’d ruined this connection with him forever.

Your thinking was interrupted when Katsuki cleared his throat. He still wasn’t looking at you, but he was standing on the deck as if he was waiting for you to say something. You hoped it wasn’t an apology that he was waiting for.

“Tell him what we got!” Eijirou whispered to you, giving your shoulder a nudge.

“Right, um,” You pulled the makeshift seaweed sling Eijirou had made you over your shoulder and pulled out your spoils from the day. You tossed one up onto the boat for Katsuki.

“We caught dinner.” Your good mood had been thoroughly spoiled. It was silly, he hadn’t done anything entirely unreasonable, but a part of you still yearned for his approval. Especially now that you were on such rocky terms.

“Good, give me the other two and I’ll cook it up for us,” He reached out for you to toss them, but you didn’t.

“Sorry, but we probably will be better off eating them raw. I don’t know how a merfolk stomach handles cooked meat.” Katsuki flinched, his hand retreating back to his side and his eyes squeezing shut for a moment, “Right, well, goodnight then.”

Your heart squeezed in regret, you should’ve known this would hurt him, “Katsuki, wait!”

He didn’t turn around though, quickly walking down into the hold. You cursed under your breath. Despite the sharp exterior, katsuki could be quite sensitive, especially to rejection. Trust was so difficult to build with him, and you felt as though you were watching ten years of it blow away in the wind.

You spun to face Eijirou, “I think I need to sleep on the boat tonight.” You took the seaweed sling off your shoulder and handed it to him.

He hesitated before taking it from you, “Are you sure? You aren’t worried about drying out?”

He was swimming very close to you, and you backed away.

“I’m sure, it’ll just be for a few hours. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me if I don't go and apologize.”

You looked back towards the boat for a moment before turning back to Eijirou. The only sign of movement was the swaying lantern by the door.

“I understand.” He nodded, “You must be there for your mate.”

“Mate?” You echoed in shock. That was a word you hadn’t heard in a long time. It was only ever used to describe life partners, and those who had young together. And that word being used to describe your and Katsuki's relationship was alarming.

“Oh, my apologies, your highness, I assumed-”

“No, it's alright I understand why you might’ve. Me and Katsuki are very close… but it’s complicated.”

“I see… please forgive me for making such a bold assumption.”

“You’re forgiven, I'll see you tomorrow.”

There was a small ladder on the back of the boat that you used to pull yourself up on deck. It took a few minutes, but you changed back into your human form. You sighed with the familiarity of it. You’d grown accustomed to walking on two legs all these years, there was a restrictiveness that brought you comfort. Swimming made you feel lighter than air, untethered to anything substantial. But here on the deck, you felt secure. No open water or endless possibilities, just the simple path ahead of you.

Unfortunately you were completely naked, but there was nothing you could do about that. You stepped below to the cabin. Katsuki was sitting at a small table built into the wall, the fish you’d caught laying before him as he cleaned it. You swiped a tunic off the back of another chair and quickly threw it over you. You didn’t want to have an entire conversation fully naked. He looked up at you with a quick glance before returning to gutting the fish.

“What are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be with fish boy?” He snarked. There was no edge of teasing in his voice, no hint of playfulness.

“C’mon, Katsuki, don’t be like that.” You walked towards him and around the table so you were right beside him. Now that you were close you could see his fingers trembling.

“Go away.” He tried to ignore you but you wouldn't have it.

“Look at me,” You commanded, taking another step closer, “Katsuki, put the knife down and look at me. Please.”

He took a deep breath before gently setting the knife down, “I can’t do this right now.”

“Can’t what? Look at me?”

“No- Fuck,” His fingers squeezed shut and balled into fists on the table, “I don’t wanna fight with you right now. I’m fucking starving, I’ve been out in the market all day–shit–I just want to be alone for fucks sake!” His eyes stayed glued on the fish in front of him. You put your hand on his chin and turned his face towards you.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You stared at him and hoped he understood. You would never leave. Never.

He stared back for a moment, eyes growing wet with tears before he tore himself from your grip.

“Fuck you!” He pushed back from the table, standing level with you face to face, “You don’t get to walk in here half-naked and say that shit to me!”

You wrapped your arms around yourself at his comment. It wasn’t your fault you didn’t keep your clothes when you changed. You were going to speak on it but he kept going.

“You think this is gonna change anything? I’m not some dumb fucking school boy you can manipulate! I won’t forgive you just like that.”

“Forgive me?” You gasped in exasperation, “For what, Katsuki?” “For all of this shit! We could’ve been fine, happy even! If you hadn’t fucking lied to me from the start! I don’t know who you are anymore! You think I can just move forward like none of that shit even happened?”

“I’m sorry, Katsuki!” Your eyes were watering now too, “Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry I’m not the person you wanted me to be! I’m so fucking sorry, okay? I never wanted any of this.”

Your heart was pounding, this was not how you expected this conversation to go at all.

“Yeah, well, it's too fucking late now. No sorry is gonna fix this.” He turned back to the table, fists resting at his side, “Just go. Leave. Please.”

Your lip trembled but you caught it between your teeth, “Fine, I’ll go.”

You stormed out, too embarrassed to go back to Eijirou now. Slamming the cabin door behind you, you rushed around to collapse against the cabin wall.

The sobs wracked through your chest as you cried into his shirt. You tried to ignore how it smelled of him. How you’d worn this shirt before many times, and how much it hurt to wear it like this. You would freeze to death if you slept out on the deck like this. But you were too stubborn to go back inside and face Katsuki’s wrath.

So you laid down, shivering, against the hard, cold wood and closed your eyes to dream of the days when he was still yours.

Somewhere, though, just beyond the horizon, a storm was brewing.

✧next✧

a/n: i finally posted another chapter omg. i'm so sorry this took as long as it did but the ao3 curse is fucking real i stg.

Katsuki was sitting beside the bed, anxiously watching over you.

"Katsuki?'" Your voice cracked causing you to cough. Your throat was dry and the movement painfully reminded you of the wound in your side.

"Fuck," He squeezed your hand tighter, "You sound awful."

"Thanks." You wheezed sarcastically once the coughing had subsided. 

You tried to get comfortable but that's when you noticed it, a feeling you'd only felt once before. An intense dehydration like no other.

You instantly reached for the necklace. The feeling of your neck and chest bare had you panicking. It was gone. The stone was gone. 

"Where is it?" You shot up in bed, suddenly the headache didn't matter anymore. You needed to find that necklace.

"Where's my necklace, Katsuki?" You frantically tried to get out of bed, but he held you back down. You struggled against him. You needed to search for it right this instant. 

"I'm sorry." You should've known you were fucked the moment he apologized, but you kept fighting. Katsuki never apologized, not without very good reason. He looked pained, like this was somehow his fault. But still, you held onto hope. Maybe he was just keeping it somewhere safe?

"I watched some asshole rip it from your neck after he attacked you. I wanted to go after him, but you were fucking bleeding out, I couldn't-"

He let out a sigh, waiting a moment before finally answering, "It's gone."

"No. You're lying." You had lost whatever semblance of calm was still left in you. Your breaths were coming hard and fast. The ringing in your ears was drowning out everything else but the necklace. 

"It's here somewhere, it has to be. Please let me look for it, I need to look for it."

You could barely hear yourself begging as you fought against his hands pinning you to the bed. How could he have let someone take it? This was everything you had left. The one thing that connected you to them. To everything you'd lost.  

"It's just a necklace!" He shouted, barely managing to hold you down, "I’ll fucking buy you another one!"

"No it's not!" You yelled, instantly regretting it as pain swelled in your throat.

You were trying to kick him off now, but Katsuki anticipated that. He swung his leg over to straddle you and pin your legs down.

"Yes it is! It's just a stupid rock! You can find another one!"

"It's the only thing keeping me human, Katsuki!"

You stopped fighting when you realized what you had said. Katsuki had stopped too. He sat frozen over you, staring down like you were a stranger he'd never met.

"What?" He snarled.

"Fuck," You shut your eyes tight, there was no going back now. 

"I'm a mermaid."

"What?!" 

"You need to get me into the tub below deck before I dry out and die."

He sat over you in shock, eyes wide. You grew impatient. There was no time. You could already feel your lips cracking from dehydration. It was only a matter of hours before it was all over. 

"Katsuki-"

"That's why you were talking to him." He leaned back, getting off from on top of you. “All those nights…”

"Yes, that's how I can understand him and I promise I'll tell you everything, 'Tsuki, but please, you need to help me get into water right now."

This seemed to snap him out of whatever shock he was in. Katsuki easily lifted you from the bed, being careful to leave your stab wound undisturbed. He was gentle with you. Trying his best to keep your head or feet from catching on corners or doorways. Due to his delicacy, it took a bit of time getting down to where Eijirou was being kept. 

The shark was anxiously swimming in circles as you got down there. When he spotted the two of you, he perked up, swimming up to the edge of the tub.

"What happened?! I heard loud fighting earlier and no one has-"

He cut himself off at the sight of you injured. He gasped, covering his mouth with his webbed fingers.

"Oh Marlin, are you alright?" 

"What's he saying?" Katsuki asked, annoyed, before you could answer Eijirou. He stopped walking, clearly attempting a stare down with the red haired fish.

"He's asking what happened. C'mon, I need to get into the tub," You directed your attention back to Eijirou, "I'm fine, but I've lost my ability to stay human. I need to turn back before I dry out."

"How have you lost it? What have you lost?" 

This shark and his questions. 

"Long story, tell you later," You looked back to Katsuki, "I need you to help me out of my clothes, they'll just get in the way."

He only hummed in agreement, helping you onto your feet. Even as he removed your shirt and held you steady so you could step out of your trousers, Katsuki was throwing glares at the merman. 

“Hello,” Eijiro attempted to speak in garbled human words and he pointed to himself to say, “Eijirou.”

Katsuki only looked shocked, mouth parted in the absence of something to say. Eijirou lost patience and turned to you, "I don't think your human likes me very much."

You chuckled in response, which only caused you to wince in pain.

"What did he say?" Katsuki demanded.

"Nothing." 

Now, aside from a few bandages, you were completely naked. This made your dry skin and shivering even more evident. 

Katsuki took your face in his hand. He still had an annoyed expression, but it turned to one of concern once he registered your temperature.

"You're burning up."

"I need... to get in," You swallowed thickly, your still human body trying to cope with the rapid water loss, "The tub."

Katsuki took your hand and helped you step over into the cool saltwater.

You sank down, sighing in relief, but as the water reached your wound you hissed in pain. It hurt badly enough that your vision began to swim with black spots. Eijirou inched closer, taking your other hand before you could fall and hit your head for the second time that night. 

You fully submerged. The salt water was harsh but the transformation would fix that. Almost immediately, the water around you began to bubble. It was starting. You clung to yourself tightly telling yourself it would all be over soon. Even with your eyes squeezed shut, the bright light of the transformation filled your vision. You cursed under the water as your legs fused back into one, but the searing pain quickly dissipated. The bubbles around you cleared.

You opened your eyes and resurfaced. Only your head was above the water but the evidence of your transformation was still clear to the two men watching. Webbed ears had replaced your round human ones, Your vision was sharper and movement was more clear, even in the darkness of the hold. Likely since your slit pupils had returned. 

"Wow," Eijirou was beaming. His sharp teeth gleamed. 

"Beautiful." Katsuki mumbled. His eyes were glued to your tail. The bright white scales were practically glowing in contrast to the dark tub. By the look of awe on his face, you doubted he even knew he spoke it aloud.

You sighed with relief as the wound in your side began to stitch itself back together. In this body it would only be a matter of hours before you would be good as new. Even the pounding in your head had begun to dissipate. 

After a moment of respite you looked up to Katsuki, “Thank you, truly.” 

“No need,” He turned away, blushing slightly, “It was nothing.”

“Well, thank you anyways. I promised I would tell you everything and I will, but first I need to explain to Eijiro what’s going on. Then, I'll answer all your questions.”

Katsuki gave you a nod and that was all you needed to turn to Eijiro.

“There was an attack on the ship last night. I was injured and a man stole the enchanted necklace that allows me to remain human for long periods of time. I needed to get back into the water so I told Katsuki to bring me here. I’m sorry for any confusion this has caused you.”

“Are you going to get it back? Your necklace?” He queried. Eijirou appeared so concerned, and your heart melted a little at the sight. 

“I have to. It is all I have left of my family. There is no other option. The only way I can find it is to look for my father’s old family journal. It has old spells and I remember reading one about finding lost things, but I haven’t been able to remember the incantation in years. I need to get that book and then I can find the necklace.”

“I wish to help you. You cannot go into the open ocean alone, especially looking like this.”

He gestured to your tail. The white scales were a trait of your fathers royal line. Albinism was not very useful outside of a palace. You’d be easy to spot by anyone you happened to swim above you. There would be no blending in, especially in more crowded places. 

“Please, your highness, allow me to accompany you on your journey. I could protect-”

“Hold your seahorses, Shark Boy,” You cut him off, “We haven’t decided anything yet. I must explain everything to Katsuki first.”

Eijirou seemed to deflate a bit, but nodded in resignation at your comment. 

“Alright, he’s been informed.” You looked back to Katsuki, scooting a bit closer to the edge of the tub.

“Is it my turn?” He raised an eyebrow, still very annoyed by the language barrier. 

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything, idiot. Tell me everything.”

And so you did. Explaining that you were a mermaid wasn’t particularly difficult, but the royalty part wasn’t so easy. 

“Is that why you were so weak when I first found you? Not a day's work in your life to build any muscle huh?” He teased once you had finally convinced him.

You had shushed him before going on to explain the necklace. 

“It’s been passed down in my family for as long as stories have been told. I cannot lose it to a bloody pirate, Katsuki. I have to go after it.”

“And he wants to go with you,” Katsuki guessed, “Doesn’t he?”

“Yes. He believes it would be difficult for me to get far without being noticed,” You glanced back at the sharkman, who was swimming idly in the other half of the tub, “And he isn’t wrong. I doubt I'd make it very far. It’s.. been a long time since I… well, looked like this.”

You glanced away, it was difficult to admit to Katsuki that you weren’t excellent in everything. He never seemed to care one way or another, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to impress him. 

Katsuki nodded in response, looking down at the floor, thinking. You knew he was upset about the situation, about being lied to. His petty annoyances were never just surface level feelings. The cracks always led to something deeper, and that was much more difficult to guess. 

Unbeknownst to you, he was hurt. He was left out of a whole part of your life, a part that he could never know. Not like that stupid shark knew it. Katsuki could never live a life under water with you, couldn’t speak the language of your people. Suddenly there was an ocean between the two of you, one that he knew he couldn’t ever sail across. The life he had pictured, a boat, an island, a hearth, a family, it was all washing away before his eyes. 

In the silence, Eijirou perked up, “Wait! I just remembered! The banished prince! He could have your book!”

“What?” You whipped around, “What banished prince?”

“After your family was overthrown, one family member survived and was banished. Nobody knows why he was spared or where he went but there are dozens of rumors about him.”

Your mind was racing. Someone surviving the attack felt impossible. The deaths you witnessed were too painful to ever let yourself fully examine the facts of that night with care. 

“That’s impossible. I have no siblings, so the only prince who could’ve survived…” You mumbled as your thoughts finally shifted into place. A hand, a dagger, the sound of shrieks under the water. 

“Izuku. I never saw him…” You drifted off again, lost in the old memory.

“We must find him. He could have the spellbook.” Eijirou responded with fervour, taking your trembling hands in his. The touch brought you back to the present. 

“What’s he saying?” Katsuki demanded, stepping closer to the tub.

“One of my family still lives, if there is any chance of finding my necklace, he will know.”

Katsuki was lost in thought for a moment. You waited, searching his eyes for any semblance of a response. His face finally dropped, and he slid a hand down his face to scratch at his stubble. 

“Okay,” He sighed, “I’ll make arrangements to dock in the nearest port. I’ll get you anything you need, a boat, supplies, whatever, and the two of you can go.”

“What?” Your heart sank, “You’re not coming?”

“Why the hell would I come? I’m not a fish, I can't go where you’re going, surely your family is underwater somewhere. Somewhere I can't go. You don’t need me on this, I'd only slow you guys down.” 

He wouldn’t look at you, eyes fixate on the lamp swaying by the doorframe. The part he left unspoken was clear to you. If you left, he would likely never see you again. Finding one pirate was hard enough, but two? It would take you forever to find Katsuki again. Your eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Why would he even suggest this? He always seemed to find the exact way to infuriate you. 

“I will forever need you, idiot. Don’t ever tell me that I don’t,” You didn’t mean to snap, but you were angry. Angry that he could be so despondent and resigned. He never gave up on a fight, and you weren’t going to let him give up on you either. 

“You’re coming. End of story.” 

You both engaged in a long staring contest, the two of you glaring back and forth for a good minute. You refused to back down on this, to let him give up. Soon enough, he gave in, sighing, “Fine. But don’t say I didn't warn you.”

You couldn’t help but grin at your victory. He almost never lets you win. But you were still left with a question in the back of your mind. What was Katsuki so afraid of, that he would say no to adventure? But there was a long journey ahead, plenty of time to work it out on the open seas. Right?

✧next✧

a/n: yeah i know slit pupils aren't biologically accurate but THEY LOOK COOL OKAY sobs into my animal science lecture notes.

best beta reader ever award goes to @saemeret <3