I wish I was famous?

"Well I’m not anxiously waiting for someone else to come hug me."

"All in good time, Jordan, all in good time. Other than said hugging situation, how are you?"

“Chellie. Oh fuck, that’s a cute couple name. Thank you, thank you. We appreciate you supporting our relationship.”

Absolutely. I mean, my bra is just always so fucked up in front of paps. It’s crazy. Why can’t it just cover my boobs like it’s suppose to?

"Ha! I'm glad you feel my struggles, I really do. Us bra-users need to stick together."

Did you do this?!

"I can relate to most of that except for the fans and paps. Bras just don’t behave properly in public."

"And it's even worse when it's your favourite bra because it's like, Dude, I trusted you to support me...Literally."

Shit testing me eh? Oh, I should certainly hope so. But the real question is, could you handle me?

"Ben darling, please. Check out this face. This face can handle anything."

Thankfully I’ll never have to experience that problem. The real problem is when your pants don’t fit right and you’re walking around readjusting them or flashing your ass to the entire world.

"I feel like that's partly down to human error, though. You could have the most perfect fitting bra in the world and it still might go evil, have its underwire pop out and stab you in the heart. It's just incredibly traumatizing, to be honest." 

"S’all good. Guess I have those moments myself."

"Maybe get a better bra?  Because then you get all these pictures of bra tugging."

"I feel like that would be too little too late, I'm sure there's a picture out there of me with my dress tucked into my underwear. The only way is up!"

Valentine’s Day is three weeks away, so if anyone is secretly in love with me, now would be the time to say something. I mean come on, I’m young, rich, and good looking. I’m a catch.

"You're a catch but I'm scared you might not be able to handle all of this. I mean, look at this face."

Now you are selling yourself short, you are a nice person. Yeah, that it was. It was not as fun as our girl nights used to be though, we should do one of those soon? You didn’t miss much, so don’t feel bad about it. 

"Okay, but you're still nicer. And, sure, if you want to! It's been way too long, actually."

That just seems excessively evil, don’t you think?

"You say evil, I say entertaining. Tomayto, Tomato."

"Jesus. Fine. Just stop clinging to me. Good?”

"Very. It wasn't that bad was it?"

"Perhaps you could just say where and makes this go by smoothly."