am I standing still?

Evie: I find it slightly offensive that you'd just assume that I would force my best friend into a loveless arrangement. I wouldn't be trying NOW if I didn't believe it wasn't there.

Blake: Do you always change the subject when you won't admit you're wrong?

Lily: Well, it's almost Valentine's Day! Do you have any plans that aren't happening in actuality but that you daydreamed about wishing WOULD happen? Living daydreams are my favorite!

Lily: (Also, it's not interesting. The very same person I kissed had me escort them to do THINGS with someone else last weekend, so I was reading too much into it as expected)

Zoe: Nope, I don't.

Gwen: Oh, that Doogey Hauser thing? I've heard of it but I've never seen it. I guess it appeals to the older crowd but it's time to let it go lol, it's not really relevant to people in our generation at all. Or male creators and writers could have gotten a hold of the female narrative and proved that they don't understand ANYTHING about women and just made a total mockery of us. Better left unmade.

Gwen: But I don't WANT you to hate her. It makes it really awkward for me that the person I care about the most hates the person that I USED to care about the most, especially when she's been nothing but kind and understanding even when she has no reason to be. I'm BEGGING you not to be mad at her because it just makes me feel like shit. I already made Hailey's life worse, I don't need to add to it by having someone hate her over something I did wrong.

Zoe: Yes, that! I completely forgot the name of the child doctor LOL but apparently he was quite popular back then; when he got the role as Barney, people were still referring to him as Doogey. I get what you're saying, because honestly the writing would've most definitely been a let down, but most writers don't understand anything about women and I still think they should try. How else are we going to get to a place where people are about to write stories about women as people? Because for some reason, they find that so difficult lol.

Freddie: Not some fluffy hotel room or something but I've seen y'all's TV shows, they put you in a little cot and sometimes you got roommates but ain't nobody who can mess with me, I can take 'em. Yeah, yeah, whatever. If they're all like you I can understand why CJ wants 'em gone.

Freddie: Yeah, yeah, I'm locked in a room with just me myself and I, but I get real food and I can still sing and ain't nobody in there with me to stop me. Like I said, I'd be good. How 'bout you don't be such a buzzkill next time someone sends you a wrong number text?

Gwen: Does he talk about How I Met Your Mother at all when he's interviewed? I know that some people are always harkening back to their most iconic characters but hopefully he focuses on other projects instead. Although he tends to play villains - Dr. Horrible, Count Olaf, that man from the Smurfs who wasn't actually the villain but the Smurfs being made into a live action film like that at all was a crime so... I did know that, actually! And I was glad it didn't get made, that format can only be a novelty once.

Gwen: It depends on what's hateable in the show! If it's a topic I'm already fired up about then you know I'll happily stay stuck on it for a whole day and longer! Okay, that's because there's nothing to forgive? How many times do I need to tell you that? I'm not lying when I say that I'm the one who was in the wrong there, not Hailey. I'm the one who broke up with her because I wasn't feeling it anymore, I'm the jerk, and I had someone really awesome who loved me and wanted to be with me and I threw it away because I didn't want it, so you really shouldn't hold me as dating goals. Or be mad at Hailey. For anything. Literally. She did nothing wrong. At all. Ever. I appreciate your willingness to be on Team Gwen but like... Team Gwen sucks in this case lol, I know it and I just appreciate that Hailey still wants to be my friend at all.

Zoe: I don't think he does? I'll rewatch a few interviews soon and get back to you lol bc I'm not sure what he talks about. Maybe he talks about his child star days? That might be the role he's most known for even now. And I agree, How I Met Your Father couldn't have had the same intrigue as the original did, just by design. Still, the story from a female perspective would be so much better lol. The one episode of HIMYM that was narrated by the mother was one of the best ones!

Lily: Sigh, this is too difficult, I'm sorry. I want to participate in this exercise but I also just want to keep things to myself. It would seem it didn't mean anything anyway, no sense in having a crazy Lily moment about it after all! How's your life? Is anything more interesting happening to you instead?

Zoe: Oh. Okay.

Blake: Good to know you're fucking blind, then.

Evie: Mal doesnt see it because she REFUSES to acknowledge it, not because it's not there. I just want to nudge them in the right direction, is all!

Gwen: If they remade it now, I wonder if they'd exclude those kinds of elements from it or if they'd still go for such low-brow humor. It's hard to imagine them redoing it, though, because then they'd have to admit that they made a mistake and retool their ending and face criticism all over again for how they handled the ending reveal in the first place. It would just open up an old can of worms.

Gwen: If you're hate rewatching, I'm hate rewatching with you, I wouldn't let you suffer alone. You're better at holding your tongue and not arguing with teachers :-p I bet you'd look gorgeous with short hair, but it's okay if you don't want to try and see for yourself. You get into the common room eventually! Forgiving people? That sounds fake lol, I'm a grudge holder if I've ever met one :-p

Zoe: I doubt it. They don't seem like the type of show that takes responsibility for their problems. I know it wasn't technically NPH's fault for Barney's horrible behavior, but he's by far the most famous of the cast and an outspoken advocate of good things; if he made a public statement about how problematic Barney and the show was, I think people would listen and I really REALLY hope he does someday since I respect him still. Did you know they wanted to make a spin-off type called How I Met Your Father? A different gang of friends but the same kind of story. It might have been more interesting from a woman's perspective; I wonder if she would've been as candid as Ted was with his children about how many people she slept with along the way. That could've been cool and progressive.

Blake: And there are also things called lies which your girl Gwen is feeding you, so... have fun with your wrong feelings and stay away from my sister.

Lily: Well, you know me, I've always preferred Pride and Prejudice to just about anyone else. So... who would you categorize as more like Ally, and who's more like me, in this scenario?

Freddie: Wasn't talking about me, was talking about the pirates, princess.

Freddie: But I already grew up in a prison, I'm sure Freddie Facilier could handle the slammer better than the slammer could handle her.

Evie: If only I had more to share :(

Evie: So you see the budding romance too? It's obvious to anyone who's paying attention and Mal is NOT. So obvi I have to step in.

Zoe: I believe in your ability to accumulate more lol.

Gwen: Even Lily's creepy, with her predatory moments towards Robin and the way she disregards her husband like he's some kind of joke in those moments! I'd argue that Marshall might be the best character on the show, but I could be forgetting some egregiously awful things he's done just because he's not AS terrible as the others.

Gwen: And I like seeing your lists lol, so feel free to hit me with some of those things so I can vehemently rebutt them.

Zoe: Lily's VERY creepy, and their treatment of her bisexuality, if you can even call it that, is so rude? It's honestly ridiculous. I think Marshall has to be the best character just by default and even then he's not too hot. Do you remember the episode where he wants a son and is scared to have a daughter? His whole rationale is that he's scared to have a daughter because other men will find her hot and look at her like a sex object and that's just... a lot. AND in his little nightmare, he sees her as a stripper and she says she's like that because her dad messed her up and it's just full of misogynistic ideas, right down to blaming his unborn daughter for Barney perving on her as an old man instead of blaming, well, Barney. It's ridiculous.

Zoe: Somehow ranting about it makes me want to watch the show again though and I hate myself for it.

Freddie: Sucks. Guess you might wanna stick to land then.