YOU ARE THE REASON
trying on a metaphor
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@ziwangye

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❛ Logic is boring because it works. Being unreasonable is exciting. ❜
it seemed that once xue yang felt partial towards tormenting someone, he would use every opportunity available to persist with his pestering relentlessly ─── but such behavior wasn’t really surprising of a person who had accomplished so many questionable, or downright atrocious, deeds at such a young age. what was truly surprising was that jiang cheng simply allowed it, standing with the same tolerant exhaustion as one in the presence of some airborne insect too elusive for simple swats to deter. it’s difficult to say just when this had normalized into something to be expected in their crossing of paths, but the banter was a welcome shift from the lonesome, monotonous, dread of a daily life consumed by duty and the haunting guilt treading rough across his heart.
‘ is that what you think you are, exciting ? ’ his deep timbre scoffs as dull as his expression was blank. if there was any joy to be found in what he could not immediately control, the fun of it had long since worn off for jiang cheng. yet an excess in logic did nothing for him, either. nothing good had ever come from leaving his treacherous brain to rationalize on its own accord for extended periods of time. ‘ logic doesn’t always work but it is always boring, so i’ll give you that. after all, enjoying my time listening to whatever nonsense you spew more than i would any interaction with my actual peers isn’t logical, but it works. ’
@saccharot / prompted. / accepting.
“If Jin Zixun hadn’t been cast on the evil spell, none of those mess afterwards would have happened. One ambush helped you get rid of Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun, two of your peers. It paved the way for your succession of Jin clan and becoming His Excellency.”
hello i have no explanation for this jiang cheng, just accept my offering
▌ real name : jiang cheng, courtesy name: jiang wanyin
▌ single or taken : mr_lonely.mp3 in canon / verse dependent
▌ abilities or powers : does being able to display so much ire frequently without giving himself an hernia count ? otherwise, jiang sect is known for a particular sword style that jiang cheng is very proficient in, it’s never mentioned but his official title post-sunshot is sandu shengshou ( sandu [his sword] wielder ) so i assume his sword skills would be notable enough for others to recognize his sword on sight. he also wields zidian, a family heirloom passed onto him by his mother on the cusp of jiang sect’s downfall. it is a spiritual object in the shape of a ring which, at the beckoning of its owner, transforms into an ultraviolet lightning whip.
▌ eye color : grey.
▌ hair color : black.
▌ family members : jiang fengmian ( father ), yu ziyuan ( mother ), jiang yanli ( sister ), wei wuxian ( adopted brother )
▌ pets : had three dogs called jasmine, princess, and love but had to give them up when wei wuxian was brought to live with them due to his fear of dogs. in modern he probably will get a dog at some point.
▌ something they don’t like : being made a fool of, which, surprise surprise, happens the whole fucking series lmaoooo
▌ hobbies / activities : training, training, and more training. if he ever had time between his duties as sect leader and training, he would probably enjoy reading. oh and spending time with jin ling, he loves that.
▌ ever hurt anyone before : yes.
▌ ever killed anyone before : yes.
▌ worst habits : letting his insecurities get the better of him, lashing out when they’re even remotely grazed, and being susceptible to manipulation bc of it.
▌ role models : he would never fucking admit it, he would rather eat his tongue than say it, but he did look up to wwx....just a lil but thats it he doesn’t really have role models.
▌ sexual orientation : bisexual.
▌ thoughts on marriage / kids : he knows its a duty he has to perform to solidify the jiang sect he has rebuilt but honestly he never thinks he’ll be able to achieve it, he knows how impossible to get along with he is and after being traumatized by two parents who hated each other he wouldn’t want to get involved with anyone he won’t have feelings or be, at least, on good enough terms with to raise children and co-run the sect.
▌ fears : never being good enough, others knowing he isn’t good enough, being a fraud and a failure to his sect
▌ style preferences : it’s all about practicality and economizing but he doesn’t compromise look good bc he knows that, despite what they might think of him personally, as long as he looks like a competent, respectable, prospering leader others will show him the courtesy of one.
▌ someone they love : jiang yanli, jin ling
▌ approach to friendships : not good at all with making friends, everyone who has even remotely become ‘familiar’ with him was probably wwx’s acquaintance first.
▌ thoughts on pie : indifferent.
▌ favorite drink : tea.
▌ favorite place to spend time at : lotus piers
▌ swim in the lake or in the ocean : lake
▌ their type : despite his dumb requirements, he just needs someone who will show him unconditional love, and who will never stop choosing him first. but being nice to jin ling is an obligation.
▌ camping or indoors : camping, nature soothes him.
𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑫. @fuyao
𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮. @icecurse

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❛ i tell you these things because I love you. ❜ // from xie lian !!
taking criticism well is a skill eternally elusive to jiang cheng ─── a speckle in the vast, seemingly interminable sea of things he could never seem to grasp right or at all. if there’s a grimace clouding his strong features as he listens to xie lian’s corrections, his gentle hands guiding rugged palms the right way around the flower being shaped in his grasp for an arrangement, then the infantile nature of it must warrant amusement, laughter brightening the lilt of his instruction. it beckons the lift of his previously focused sights to see mirth flirting with the natural glimmer of those honeyed eyes, taunting him with some ancient, unspoken knowledge he knew but wouldn’t share. ( the fact, perhaps, that the essence of jiang cheng, his childlike petulance when lovingly cajoled into facing his faults, had not changed in the centuries since their first encounter )
‘ i’m just not good at this. ’ he states dismissively, tone rougher than he meant for it to sound. it’s a strategic retreat, a burst of self-reproach to address critiques before running away from the matter altogether ── lest he succumb to an anxious fixation that carved upon his consciousness the entirety of his presumed ineptitude. xie lian, as with all other things, takes this volatile shift with endless grace; lips puckered along with the frazzled quiver of his brow for only a second before that merciful smile shines luminous upon his glorious countenance. his hands hold jiang cheng’s firmly in place around the petals even as he tries his best to retreat, tugging him closer from the opposite side of the long work table the more he tries to pull away.
‘ I tell you these things because I love you. ‘ silken voice asserts once he captures his gaze, warm smile almost too brilliant for jiang cheng to bear. it prompts a prickling of something against his skin hot like shame and a sudden realization all at once. what he failed to prevail at was not merely the art of arranging flowers but the dutiful patience intrinsic to the process ── what, if anything, xie lian had been attempting to get across to him.
it was an act of love to match his own initial willingness to learn and partake in what gave the other joy. jiang cheng realizes his guidance was but another caring instance used to gently coax him into self-improvement, to give as much as he took because reciprocity had always been the basis of their love. there was little else to do in the face of such small epiphanies but let the saccharine sanctity of their eternal tryst wash over him, to let it tug up the corner of his lips as his coarse thumb wrangled under his grip to brush the back of his palm before picking it up to peck at the heel of it; an acquiescence as much as it was an apology for reacting as defensively as he had in the face of xie lian’s selfless good intent.
he presses the hand in his firm grasp against his cheek and leans into the warmth of it, dark eyes fluttering shut for a moment of thoughtless indulgence in the tenderness of his touch, untroubled by the smudging of soil marking the insides of his palm or the prickle of raised skin afflicted by the thorns and debris that came with his work, before opening them with an expression perhaps too intense for the lighthearted aura xie lian had initially set in this makeshift lesson. it leaves the desired impact on the other, sights wide and transfixed upon him with matching vigor twined with confusion; it’s only then that jiang cheng relents, the brilliance of his genuine laughter to have provoked such a unsettled expression in the other ephemeral but leaving in its wake the loveliness of his boyish, open smile just for xie lian to see. ‘ i fear you won’t make me a prodigy at arranging flowers but, at the very least, i’ll have the victory of knowing you love me enough to have the patience try. ──── and i hope you know, as well, that i love you enough to be willing to learn. ’
@fuyao / prompted. / accepting.
RICHARD SIKEN / WAR OF THE FOXES Change pronouns as necessary and tweak sentences as appropriate!
I am faithful to you, darling.
When you bang on the wall you have to remember you’re on both sides of it but go ahead, yell at yourself.
Some people don’t understand anything.
He’s easy to desire since there’s not much to him.
No one wants to know what’s in his head.
To make something beautiful should be enough. It isn’t. It should be.
You’d break your heart to make it bigger.
Will you defend yourself? From me, I mean.
Let’s kill something.
I prefer to blame others, it’s easier.
All these ghosts come streaming down and I wish I had something else.
We all move forward anyway. Ripples in all directions.
What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn’t know it’s dead.
All thoughts finish themselves eventually.
Can we love nature for what it really is: predatory?
When you have nothing to say, set something on fire.
I wanted to explain myself to myself in an understandable way.
Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it.
The enormity of my desire disgusts me.
Look away but I’m still there.
Want something to chase you? Run.
Take only what you need.
Never finish a war without starting another.
I’ve seen your true face: the back of your head. If you were walking away, keep walking.
The fear: that nothing survives. The greater fear: that something does.
All these things and what to do with them. We carve up the world all the time.
I like dead things. They cannot hurt me.
We like things related to our survival: soup, arrows - they expand the range of the species.
My body is a graveyard.
People like to think war means something.
Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other. We know who our enemies are. We know.
There are many loves but only one war.
You will need to comfort him, or we will never be finished with this.
You cannot have an opponent if you keep saying yes.
Its roots in the ground and its branches in the air, a tree is pulled in two directions.
The boy is a bird, bad bird. He falls out of trees.
You cannot get in the way of anyone’s path to God. You can, but it does no good.
Some say God is where we put our sorrow.
In the wrong light anyone can look like a darkness.
What can you know about a person?
Difficult thing, to be scrutinized so long.
Even when I look away I am still looking.
Everyone secretly wants to collaborate with the enemy, to construct a truer version of the self.
How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?
Why build a room you can live in? Why build a shed for your fears?
There wasn’t much left but it felt like him, wild and scared.
The best part of spirituality is reverence. There are other parts. Some people like to hear the sound of their own voice.
If you don’t believe in God, then who are you talking to?
But truth doesn’t count in law, only proof.
Was I discovered or invented? Feels like I’ve always been here.
Measure yourself against the truth and not the other way around.
Perfect and completely dead.
People don’t learn anything unless they are afraid of being left behind.
Logic is boring because it works. Being unreasonable is exciting.
I am your arrival, there is no refusal, we are here, you see, together, we are already here.
This is also part of the story: how the story changes. This is something I forgot to tell you.
You might like it here. I think that you might like it here.
I tell you these things because I love you.
It’s nothing like I thought it would be and closer to what I meant.
Maybe we will wake up to the silence of shoes at the foot of the bed not going anywhere.
It reminds me of where I was going without you.
You know what it’s like to be alone: gimlets and vermicide. You know what it’s like to be alive, so forgiveness.
You asked me once, What are we made of? Well, these are the things we’re made of.
I turned my ears in all directions. I’ll live alone or in between.
Everyone needs a place. It shouldn’t be inside of someone else.
Your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.
I live in big spaces, so I’m left alone in big spaces.
We made ourselves cold. We made ourselves snow. We smuggled ourselves into ourselves. Haunted by each other’s knowledge.
To hide somewhere is not surrender, it is trickery.
I try to guess your trajectory and end up telling my own story.
I surrender my desire to be healed.
Take it or leave it, and for the most part you take it.
Shame comes from vanity. Shame means you’re guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you’re better than we are. Maybe you are.
There is no new me, there is no old me, there’s just me, the same me, the whole time.
Don’t try to make a stronger wind, you’ll wear yourself out. Build a better sail.
You want to solve something? Get out of your own way.
What’s the difference between me and the world? Compartmentalisation.
I hope it’s love. I’m trying really hard to make it love.
I clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary.
I’d rather quit. I’d rather be sad. It’s too much work.
I mean, maybe it’s better if my opponent wins.
What happens when I no longer want to meet you?
Nothing lasts forever: we know this.
Longing and suffering? Of course, of course. You want it to mean something.
You can disconnect it or you can try to glue it all together.
We could pull it apart, spend our whole lives pulling it apart and have no time left to do anything smart with the pieces.
The sooner you embrace it, the sooner it will leave you.
You are what you cover up.
Noise and more noise. Noise up to heaven.
One wonders why a story like this exists.
I want to give you more but not everything. You don’t need everything.
Someone has to leave first.
He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand.
All this was prepared for me. All this was set in motion long ago.
I stayed as long as I could. Now look at the moon.
What does all this love amount to?
i need to STOP making fun of jiang cheng
‹ saccharot ›
it would be even more curious for the delinquent himself to be of the same mind with an incorruptible cultivator – a sect leader, of all people – than it may be for the other. whether the throne is theirs to claim as the rightful successor or part of their act as a puppeteer with no right to even glance its way… titles are titles, Xue Yang concludes ; the rules do not change overnight. ( were that the case, perhaps he would – for once – be acknowledged as nothing more than a young man with a 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : the hooligan feared by all of Kuizhou or the author behind every recent bloodbath known to man would no longer exist too preposterous a concept to even dare entertain. he’s done too much. )
in spite of the unconventional character of this interaction, he finds it… likable enough, for the lack of a better word inside the mind that’s always scheming, almost welcome an exchange. more so when that childish artlessness he knows well seems to be mirrored in how Jiang Cheng speaks of an event oh-so-carefully planned by the higher-ups. he can’t help but reveal that pair of prominent canines ; a grin first and a tame display of delight second, a snicker as his automatic, spontaneous response. if this banquet meant anything to him, he wouldn’t be here, far from the rehearsed speeches and false smiles. the grasp? awfully abrupt on Xue Yang’s part : that sometimes that’s all it takes for momentary truces to happen… the obvious, unmasked distaste toward the same thing. ‘I don’t give a shit about it either,’ he could declare. it rings clear, though, from the roll of his eyes to the chuckle just now.
❝ believe me? they eat right out of my hand. ❞
right out of the same hand that squeezed throats breathless and pulled eyes out of their sockets, for 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 and it grows twice in size when unorthodox methods of cultivation are involved. Xue Yang doesn’t recall having even put his most trusted weapon to use within the Lanling Jin sect ; it’s reputation that does all the work for him, so neatly, so aptly. ❝ you’re disagreeable because you’re younger than them it’s not that hard to understand. catch. ❞
from his vest pocket, a daintily wrapped piece of candy comes flying at the youth who sees himself a grown man. he expects rightful retaliation, another of zidian’s menacing crackles due to the unforeseen gesture ; there’s tidiness in his own chaos, something akin to a chance given, a once-in-a-lifetime situation he pulls Jiang Cheng into without the latter’s expressed willingness. popping a sweet treat into his own mouth seconds after, he leans on his side against the balcony to face the other. ❝ candy, ❞ he instructs. ❝ you’re older than me don’t worry about what I may think. ❞
a moment of tension punctures the peculiar fluidity of their exchange, jiang cheng eyeing cautiously the other’s hand as it dips into his garments to rustle for some unknown item hidden therein. suspicion was to be expected from someone quick to distrust in light of past betrayals, particularly when in the company of someone with as much of a dubious reputation as xue yang, and yet what strikes as odd is how he hesitates to prepare a defense. he watches him procure the candy with only an acute fixation on his movements apart from the obvious tightening of muscles denoting apprehension, fisted palm rigid yet devoid of violet threat as it lifts to catch the sweet. prudence must fail him with all this accumulated exhaustion, he thinks, tireless work catching up to him and the hour not yet late enough to take his leave without looking uncouth. ( not, he reassures himself, because xue yang has given him something intriguing to muse over, and definitely not because he’s come to enjoy the reprieve this straightforward conversation has given him in a night of fully forced interactions and false niceties )
a questioning brow is lifted as he unwraps the candy, a side glance as amused as it was curious granted towards the other before he presses the confection through his lips. ‘ apparently i’m missing something thats obvious to you so enlighten me ── how is my youth the reason i’m disagreeable to them and not the ... the fact i’m not exactly as sociable as a sect leader should be. ’ the final fragment of his words, spoken at a lower volume than the rest of the sentence and with a hint of a grimace, hint as his constant self-reproach.
it had always seemed to jiang cheng, via the cruel conditioning of his mother’s cold and aggressive love and his father’s disdain, that the bulk of his inability to appeal to anyone in life was a result of a foul temperament coupled with an ineptitude that, despite his ample attempts at self-betterment and pouring himself into the disciplines needed to follow the path of cultivation, seemed unable to be learned out of him. he never considers how his quick ascent to the pinnacle of leadership and how he seemed to have rebuilt his sect in the span of a breath could have threatened the ancient, fiercely-guarded structure of the older, more established sect leaders; how they might have felt intimidated, for once, not by his ruinous demeanor but his capacity to change things overnight.
it still didn’t seem a plausible theory to him, incapable of thinking or believing ( not for very long, at least ) any good about himself. he manages another amused huff of breath leaning towards an incredulous snort as he processes the latter statement. it nearly seemed surreal to think xue yang could be younger than him with all the infamy he’s already accrued, and all the mock prestige he receives out of fear and his usefulness to whatever it was the jins were doing. ( something shady, jiang cheng knew without a doubt, but as long as it didn’t threaten lotus pier or the integrity, stability, or safety of jiang sect, he didn’t really care ) perhaps this odd truce they seemed to have established between them was a respite granted by the universe, a single night where they could act more their age than the roles either was expected to take on daily.
‘ trust me, i won’t. ’ he states in the deep, dull monotony of his neutral voice lined with the barest hint of a rare, understated dry humor. he was sure that xue yang hardly cared what he, or anyone else for that matter, might think of him so long as they didn’t get in his way. to some respect, jiang cheng found he felt the same; a chilling discovery, to have some much of his core personality reflected in someone so widely denounced. yet there’s a comfort there he can’t quite place, as if he rejoiced in seeing someone be so calamitous without remorse or inhibition.
havingsiblings.gif

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‹ birdcvged ›
He was starting to understand now, that more often than not, Jiang Cheng words or expression did not exactly aligned with his actions. And yet, it didn’t meant either of those were untrue. The younger son of Jiang Fengmian was a complicated person like that, but once Huaisang had put his mind into something, there was no mystery that could elude him for long.
He took another bite of the mooncake, as he heard they were about to have a free of Lan Qiren week ❝ Ugh, that would be great. I mean, why can’t Zewu-jun give the lectures, anyway? ❞ he asked as he cleaned his mouth of any crumbs ❝ My brother always tells me he’s not only a great cultivator, but he’s well versed in everything a gentleman must know. ❞
A shush came from another disciple nearby, and Huaisang apologized promptly, but not before giggling a little towards his friend.
his brow lifts in faint amusement at the other’s giggling despite being chastised, hands smoothing the page of the manuscript opened up before him in performative guise to feed the illusion that they were actually studying instead of conversing aimlessly. musing over the enticing idea of zewu-jun taking the place of his uninspiring ( decidedly less agreeable ) uncle, jiang cheng could see the immediate merits to such a fantasy. he might actually be inspired to want to learn all that the lan would teach, as opposed to the reality of being expected to in a winding tradition of young masters forced to be bent into shape by lan qiren’s tedious and severe teachings.
‘ i assume it’s the rest of his duties as sect leader not allowing him the time for something like teaching guest disciples. ’ he shrugs, giving the only sensible response he could come up with as someone raised to always think as the sect leader he would inevitably become. ‘ although it could also be the lan wanting to uphold tradition. lan qiren has done this for generations, being under his tutelage is practically a rite of passage at this point. i can’t see zewu-jun wanting to disturb that kind of legacy, although it would be a welcome change. ’
‹ mangtoi ›
“ i was sent here for a job and got lost trying to find my way back; i’m not often sent out of the country, so i really am lost without your help. i, if we get back to somewhere i do know, i’ll happily treat you to a meal or compensate monetarily! ”
‘ are your employers really so cruel as to send you somewhere you won’t be able to manage on your own ? don’t ── you don’t have to give me anything in return, alright ? i’ll help you but only because your situation is so unfortunate and seemingly dire. it was just a little annoying to be put upon so suddenly like that .... speak, then ─── what is it exactly that you need me to do ? ’
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@icecurse | hakucheng drabbles 2 / ? : duality
there’s something particularly resplendent about haku that morning, something more ravishing about their warm beauty that goads at jiang cheng's covetous impulse. he finds himself reluctantly attuned to the hungry stares of strangers in every flick of their perfumed waves over the shoulder of a fitted pistachio cardigan, traveling down the limits of the cropped knitwear and over the satin sliver of bared midriff leading to the cinch of denim accentuating their waist. how, when they've walked past these anonymous admirers, he would tilt his chin up to glimpse over his shoulder and find them staring at the fit of their jeans hugging just right where their slim build was most plush. it makes jiang cheng sneer something vicious, a brief glimpse of his brutish former self caught in the transience of refinement ── instead of the brusque remark or petulant, cold distance his immature younger self might have employed in such a situation, he stakes an indelible claim.

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A-Xian, A-Cheng and I; us three will always be together, never apart.
For dear Lily @cloudyfromoobsession who introduced me to this blessed show. Please accept my smol gift. *hugs!* T_T <333
HOW ARE YOU RUINED ?
ruined by trauma ─── you cannot get over the past. you are constantly remembering, never forgetting. you cant live in the moment because the moment is not what brought you here. you are birthed, raised, and killed in the past. you will never get over what was done to you, be it big or be it small. you cannot escape what you refuse to confront.
𝑇𝐴𝐺𝐺𝐸𝐷 . @mangtoi
𝑇𝐴𝐺𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐺 . steal it !