not to sound cosmic but...

there is no justice in this world for girls who don’t want to get up but have to

I don’t care how unfair things are in your life, put some goddamn headphones on in public

Being an adult woman is just like “oh my tummy hurts” “oh my head hurts” “oh the burden of being alive is so heavy today” and then carrying on with your day.

an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

waiting for my knight in shining armor (ibuprofen) to rescue me from the horrors (head hurty)

i'm a substance abusing pseudo intellectual but you will respect me

i think the wine-dark sea and rosy-fingered dawn should kiss

Lord, i have seen what you've done to the Tories, and I ask this of you [for the GOP].

how am i supposed to function under these conditions [sleepy]

hottest girl in the grocery store (one of the only ppl wearing a mask)

People in their twenties be like. My interest include drugs. Drinking. Tv series. Uber eat. causing and then resolving Interpersonal issues

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

my coachella will be headlined by franz kafka, al pacino, & the color green. paul dano smoking a cigarette holding a coke, judas from the bible, nick braun, grantaire from les mis, a lime from dakota johnson’s kitchen, the cast of the outsiders, & andrew garfield playing eduardo saverin (he isnt allowed to break character) will be there too. susan sontag & paddington bear will be giving a joint ted talk with guest speaker patrick bateman. for the main event vocal adrenaline along with the ps5 guy will preform a linger by the cranberries & paparazzi by lady gaga mashup. oh & the guys from how to make an alt-j song will go onstage holding a rainbow flag or whatever

you’re telling me a gay coded this

Yes and his name was Alan Turing

I’m not “showing signs of mental illness” I’m hiding them really well actually everyone thinks i act really normal. I think. I’m pretty sure

what didn’t kill me made me a huge cunt