Engsted

You were always more Without, my heart slowly withers. My body is hurting, every part sore.

Torn apart in the middle

Frustrated, broken and brittle.

When darkness comes to consume me

The voices whisper in riddle

I drift away, little by little.

This fractured personality.

All of these broken pieces.  

I wonder why, no one seems to notice

I crawl back to bed

- I can’t do this.

I am not a finished poem.

I am a broken soul - a human being

Making my way in a world that is constantly trying to push me over the edge.

I am not a finished poem.

I am at best a draft - an unfinished master piece.

As salty as the sea

Relinquish me from these storms

And set me free

Because I am a master of defeat and unpleasantries. Never making life easy, responsability? An alien species.

Endless fights between me, myself and I. I cry, I scream, I shout, I’m tired, I try!

Expectations drowning me, society frowning upon me. I am a circle, I won’t fit the square easily. Stop pushing me!

Endless fights between me, myself and I. The voices echoes in my broken mind.

I’m scared of walking alone, entering an empty home. I’m scared of the rain, the darkness and the pain. I’m scared of happiness, being in distress. I’m scared of the new and the old. I’m scared of growing cold. I’m scared of loving you.

Though it’s the only thing, I can’t help but do.

His love calms me Though I’m withering slowly No adventures, no escapades, keeping it low key.

I want a rush, make me blush, flourish Ignite me, make me burn, give me an ember to nourish.

Happiness makes me uncomfortable I like being in control, the darkness is my ebb and flow. I cover myself in moonlight, whisper along with the voices at night. I need someone to hold me, but still love the freak.

When the voices scream Be the one to whisper sweet nothings Calm my nightmares, set me free.

Please don’t leave me, don’t ever go When my darkness comes, pull me close.

I found myself hurting, lonely and lost. Bleeding emotion, tears and trust. Unworthy of life and love, close to giving up You swept me off my feet, made me fall. Without you, there would be no me at all.

Happiness makes me uncomfortable. It’s uplifting and uncontrollable. It makes me reach for the skies. I could spread my wings and fly, if I’d dare close my eyes.

But I just wait patiently for it all to break apart. For the lights to flicker. To yet again find myself in the dark. Once again picking up pieces of my broken heart.