Seb

you're tired, absolutely done with the weather and the weird lingo the aussies use. what is a woolies? what is with their obsession with football? and all of a sudden there's now this... random australian man obsessing over you??

the fact that you live away from the city is also a problem. hours away from everyone, little to no people you can contact in case of an emergency... well, that's more of a you problem than his problem. this works out perfectly for him.

"howzagauhn? yeah, nah yeah-"

"what."

you can't decipher his accent or the way he talks so you can only stare like 🙂 as your new neighbor introduces himself to you. yeah... you probably should've moved to the city instead of some suburb.

anyway he fell for you at first sight, heart eyes and all. you were the love of his life, the one he'd buy a house with despite being in the middle of a housing crisis and the stupidly hellish taxes. he would love it if you two went shopping together and maxed out his credit card, isn't that romantic?

eventually, the two of you start going out and you realize he isn't what he seems.

well, you knew he was always a bit weird. the way he'd shake life a leaf whenever you touched him was one reason why you suspected him to be a bit out of it. like damn, is he really that obsessed with you?

then you walked into his closet and oh my god. you just knew you had to leave. was that a shrine? wait, what your lost undies???

unfortunately for you, there was no way you were escaping. not when you had taken over his mind, not when he was already set on having you all for himself.

"right, where do you think you're going? tryna leave me are ya?"

"u-uh..."

(inspo by @moyazaika) you couldn't even step two feet out of his house before his pet spider scared you back into his arms. shit, you forgot he friended that weird spider thing.

be ready to get tortured for your disobedience 🥱💔 common torture methods include eating vegemite toast and watching him scream at the tv after his afl team lost a match. occasionally, he turns the heater off at night causing you to freeze in the poorly insulated home.

he tells you it's all for your own good. that he's doing this just to make sure you stay with him. but really, you think he's doing it because he's probably high on something. not wrong but he also really wants you to stay with him.

"now, you know not to run away, yeah?"

"...yeah."

yeah, you shouldn't have moved to australia.