this is home

Even though I mean. Kinda fucking true m8. However, if you want to talk, go for it. I’m not afraid to hide.

okay. this one took me a little longer because i was going back and forth on how to word this. i think i got it, but if i’m not clear, let me know. my issue stems mostly from the “18 year old with someone twice their age” thing. why? because, what of adult life has an 18 year old experienced? none. and you can give me the whole “some people grow up faster than others” line but here’s the thing. i know that. i lived that. i had to assume responsibilities a lot earlier in life than i should have, but that doesn’t negate the fact that i was a child when i assumed those responsibilities, and on my 18th birthday, i’d only experienced life as a child. therefore, i shouldn’t have pursued anyone significantly older than me, and if i’d tried to, the older person, as the adult in the situation, should put a stop to it. 

on which part lmfao bc here’s negan’s most recent shitshow (scribbled out personal, triggering info bc unlike some people i’m not a vindictive little brat)

alright, since im p sure everyone’s blocked me so i won’t have to delete any anons (or deal with anymore blatant transphobia on discord. hey negan! i have the screenshots if anyone’s interested in proof)

let’s just. run down my list. this is gonna be long, and i’m not putting it under a readmore, so. 

negan. the star of the hour. i’m gonna be really real, when i first started writing in the group, i thought negan was pretty cool. his writing style isn’t like mine, but i mean, hey, i wasn’t gonna write him off for that. that’d be real shitty of me. but. things started happening with negan and his characters. well, with one in particular. angelo. or should i say a-a-a-a-a-a-angelo. as someone who’s struggled with speech impediments from a young age, i’m always happy to see those sorts of things represented. but only if they’re done respectfully. my first issue with angelo was how unrealistic his stutter was, from only stammering on the first sound, to having no real rhyme or reason to what triggered the stutter, etc etc. but hey. everyone stutters different so. maybe there’s people who stutter like that. that alone wasn’t enough to tick me off. then he ultimately decided angelo is trans. as a transmasculine person, i’d be a complete shit lord if that bothered me. it didn’t bother me. what bothered me was how negan handled angelo’s transness. constantly referring to him as a trans BOY despite angelo being a 40 year old man, completely infantilizing him in speech patterns and behavior, it all just reeked of internalized transphobia. listen, i won’t kinkshame anyone here, but maybe some understanding of Kink While Trans should have been applied to angelo here. and that’s not even addressing that he apparently finds it appropriate to refer to me as “princess” when he’s trying to be condescending, even though he knows i’m a transmasculine person with extreme dysphoria. 

joey. what a fuckin sleezeball. he’s offender numero uno on my list of Gross Dudes With An Age Difference Fetish. like i said. everyone’s got different thresholds for this stuff. some don’t mind a five year difference, some don’t mind a ten year difference. whatever. and, like, if the younger muse is, like, 21, and the older one is, like, early 30s, IDGAF. you do you. but when your 18 year old character seeks out men twice as old as him or older, and you’re older than your muse by, like, a bit, that’s a red fuckin’ flag. how obtuse do you have to be to not see the predatory stereotypes you’re making characters fall into here? 

jaybird. jay. whatever he’s going by. first of all, he sent me the anon hate that sparked this need to Never Fucking Shut Up About How Shit This Group Is so. y’all can thank him for that! at least, i’m operating on the assumption it was him, seeing as how the points match up to his points in the ooc chat. so there’s strike one. strike two is petty as hell but of all the fucking occupations to give a character, he chose to have his character be a part of a racist, victim blaming franchise with a known r*pist on their team. but again, that on its own isn’t enough to make me outright hate someone. the nhl as a whole is its own problem. whatever. but when you combine that, with the anon hate, and then the fact that his, like, 35 year old character was actively pursuing and involved with an 18 year old character? fucking disgusting. 

ray. 

that’s not an apology. “sorry you got offended” isn’t an apology for offending someone. not to mention, he’s constantly condescending and got a holier than thou attitude about fuckin’ everything. and, again, complete cop apologist. i don’t give a flying fuck that he’s dating a cop or whatever. that actually only proves my point. ray’s the type that’ll get you, though. i’ll be honest, i really liked him in the beginning. i thought he was upbeat and positive, and all around a good guy. but it’s such bull. ray’s got what i call Motivational Speaker Positivity. You know the sort. “Everything is good! Things are great! If you don’t think so, that’s on you! It’s your fault! You could change if you tried but since you aren’t happy you’re just not trying!” that shit. it’s not real, begins to feel hostile after a while. and you start to realize that. wait a minute. he’s been a dick this entire time. i can’t speak for his characters because i hardly ever saw them online, and they only interacted with, like, 10 other characters combined. in an rp whose character count was almost triple digits. yeah. 

coop. gonna be honest, this is another one i can’t speak too much about the characters, because i think i only ever interacted with one? something like that. similarly to ray, a cop apologist, and quick to mention they’ve only ever known ONE bad cop. that’s cool, coop. when’s the last time you were locked in a room by yourself for 12 hours while every cop you tried to flag down to explain your situation laughed in your face? when’s the last time your father was made to take 10 field sobriety tests, all of which he passed, refused a breathalyzer when he requested it from the cop, and then still slapped with a DUI because the officer smelled the beer someone had spilled on him? when’s the last time you’ve had a cop chase you through a neighborhood for not doing a damn thing wrong? hm? exactly. 

i don’t really like A either but that’s more just that i hate the fake tough act they try to pull on the main, like. calm it down. no one gives a shit. you sound like a douchebag. other than that, i hardly interacted with them IC or OOC enough to know what their deal is. 

it was a lot of things, really. there were small things, like ray’s being condescending and not knowing how to apologize when he offends someone. that was a little thing. i won’t sit here and say i’m not an asshole too, so. on its own, no big deal. the admins definitely had favorites and you could tell, but, hey, we’re human. it happens. on its own, not enough to make me leave and denounce the whole group.

but when you combine that with ray and coop’s cop heroism, and their “#NotAllCops” stance they take whenever you’re even a little critical of law enforcement, regardless of if you’re (read: i’m) a person of color who’s experienced real life encounters with cops that have shaped my viewpoint, and A’s attempts at sounding tough on the main which really just make them sound like a huge asshole, not to mention the fact that their solution to discomfort with large age gaps (an 18 year old and a 40something? really?) is to just unfollow the blogs instead of, like, being able to acknowledge that those kinds of things aren’t right and shouldn’t be happening, it’s a shitstorm. 

re: boystownhq

boystownhq is full of hypocrites. one minute they’re drooling over cops, and then next they’re condemning police brutality in an argument against a fc they already accepted. if you feel that strongly, why accept the faceclaim? any admission of not liking cops gets you a “well i’ve only ever met one bad cop” from coop or a general “#NotAllCops” which is...shitty. i shoudn’t have to go into why i don’t like cops. but i don’t. i shouldn’t be getting anon hate (hi jaybird!) over my opinion, especially since up to these last couple posts, i haven’t said shit about anyone else liking cops. 

second. nonbinary erasure. one of the fcs was inevitably changed, as it should have been from the start, but you can’t use a nonbinary face for a cis character and then claim “well the ACTOR plays cis” or “we’re not playing the ACTOR”. that’s shitty logic (again, hi jaybird! thanks for the lovely anon) and a fuckin’ cop out. nonbinary actors have to take cis roles or they’d NEVER FUCKING WORK. it’s not the same as playing a straight character as gay. it’s erasure vs diversification. end of story. 

which brings me to my third and final point. the admins see nothing wrong with age gaps. don’t get me wrong, if one character is, like, 27, and the other’s, like, 22, personally, i don’t mind it. other people’s thresholds might vary a bit. it’s a personal preference thing. i get that. but to have 18 year old muses being pursued by characters 35+, and then portray it as hot or cute or whatever, is fucking gross. an 18 year old is an adult solely in the eyes of the law. you don’t go to bed a minor and then wake up a fully functional adult once you hit 18. it doesn’t work like that. 

so. yeah. between that and the casual racism of the group, i chose to leave. i don’t know if the admins have blocked me or not, but they probably have. for anyone who hasn’t blocked me and is still following, hi! this is the full reason why i left! any more anon hate i get will be deleted (unless i think it’s really funny), and this blog is getting archived!

love, your favorite “ignorant, intolerant piece of shit”, 

Santiago smiles as he went into his next patients room. It was a way younger patient, with a young dad. “How are you two doing?” He smiled making eye contact before going to get set up as the computer that was in the room. He always hoped that nothing serious was going on with the kids, but that was just something he could never be too sure about. He then turned to give his full attention to the two that were there today.

@zcvgiroux

“I’m probably overreacting.” He sighed, his usual nervous tics impeded by the toddler currently refusing to leave his lap. “I’m, uh, I’m definitely overreacting. But she’s had this cough for, like, a couple days now. And, like. I’m pretty sure it’s nothing? I’m hoping it’s nothing. But I’d rather, like, be told that it’s nothing and I’m being paranoid than, like...ignore it and it be something bad?” Ellie, meanwhile, doesn’t even acknowledge that there’s someone else in the room, but Zev’s adjusted to that fairly quickly. That’s not the problem at hand, anyway. 

Lin had been looking at the toys for something to get for his boyfriend. It seemed corny, but he wanted to spray the stuffed animal with his cologne so that Elijah could hug it when they were apart and feel like Lin was laying there. Sure, it wasn’t the same, but it would help. The baker looked up from the two animals he was comparing to take a look at the bunny in question. 

“That rabbit looks close, except the bow. The bow is a different color. What happened to the original? Maybe I can help.”

He regarded the new rabbit again, frowning when he noticed the bow was, in fact, a completely different color. She’d notice that, for sure. Though, he might be able to play it off. It wasn’t like she was some kind of toddler detective here. She’s, like, two. He might be able to say the little guy just got a new bow or something, but...