Tainted Love

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I go through phases. Some days I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then some days I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you still are willing to be near me.

This is what I like about photographs. They’re proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect.

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it. I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t. I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!) I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice. I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it. I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up. I’ve learned that I’m getting more and more like my grandma, and I’m kinda happy about it. I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. I’ve learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it. I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological. I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to. I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I’ve learned that if you don’t want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I’ve learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them. I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love. I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life. I’ve learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control. I’ve learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most. I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you. I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us. I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I’ve learned that although the word ‘love’ can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used. I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.