it's been so long

DID YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING?!? BECAUSE I DID!!!

some of 1D's best songs exist because of liam payne, by the way. liam and louis were the dream team. they all wrote some good songs, but man. every time liam and louis joined up together, it ended up being a fucking banger. better than words. end of the day. fireproof. there are so many, so many strong songs that took 1D from being just a silly little "girl band" (which is what they always were and always will be to us, to me) to being something special, something that pierced through the industry whether people liked it or not. that was my band. they were my boys. i will miss liam for the rest of my life, and i'm not exaggerating that. not only because of who he was in the band, not only because of who he could have been once he held himself accountable enough to grow. i will miss his music, his talent. his voice. god. his voice. i'll just miss him. i miss him already.

how am i not supposed to be sad abt liam’s death for years to come as someone who has never moved on from anything ever

I’ve lost friends and family before and gone through some truly awful things, but this grief feels different. I think it’s because I’ve never lost something so intrinsically and almost solely linked to joy. like that’s what 1d represented for me for so many years and still does. when I’m at my absolute lowest, to this day, I put on 1d songs to make me feel happier, and it always works. and now I’m at loss, because I don’t know what to reach for

It's really really hard to go about your life after this . What makes it harder is how my life is physically not at all affected by him being gone. It's so difficult to digest that. He wasn't part of my life physically. None of my friends feel things like I do because he wasn't part of their lives at all. That's the reason i keep coming back. To the people who lost him like I did. Tumblr has always been a safe place. But now in times like this, it's a whole another level of a comfort. A hug, that's what it's like being here. Like we're all in a virtual room, all saddened and all missing him. I'm thankful for this place.

Like not to get Too Deep but 1d was one of the best things to happen to me like I was such a snob when it came to popular media before then and then just…. Everything changed and I started liking stuff I liked cause I liked it and they genuinely made me Nicer and helped me get through some of the worst times of my LIFE like they were my constant never ending source for happiness and STILL ARE and like truly I wouldn’t be who I was rn if it wasn’t for 1d and I’d be a worse person for it like. I’ve never loved anything as long as I’ve loved 1d and I’ll love them forever OK goodbye

this is the only place I knew I could come where people would know how this feels without having to explain

the regret in zayn’s post and the longing in louis’ and the simple pain in harry’s statement …….