Earth-bound Misfit

“Hey, hey, hey, baby it wasn’t like that at all.” Sure, every now and then whenever he brought up his most recent conquest with a girl she’d feel a little petty but that was on her, not him. She ran a hand over his cheek and shushed him. “You were never that guy babe. How could you have known how I really felt when I never owned up to it? I never felt like I was enough, and that wasn’t because of you, that was because of me, and because I went back to Derek who made damn sure I wasn’t good enough for you. You’re not some shitty fuckboy, Zane, you’re not. You were looking out for us and you didn’t want to fuck this up, and I love you for that.” Jude petted his hair back. “All I meant was, flirting with you was enough for me, for a little while anyway. And then I really started to fall hard for you. I wanted you so bad, I mean look at you babe. You’re funny, sexy, sweet, sexy, an awesome drummer, sexy. What’s not to love?” Jude asked with a kiss.

She understood, hell she was even guilty of running away from her feelings and into the arms of another just to erase them from her but that just brought her back to square one. Not that she was mad about that so much anymore. She was where she wanted to be. “You remember that?” She asked with a small smile on her face. “You were pretty drunk then. Oh, god Zane. That was when I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you so bad that I had feelings for you. And that was when I really fucked things up. And then you were like hardly around because you went on tour and then I sorta forgot about us.” She paused. “I dunno.” She answered. “I knew you were attracted to me, but I didn’t think that was enough you know. I’m dorky, and lazy and you know I sound like a porno minnie mouse when I talk.” She laughed. “Every time you flirted with me, I took every opportunity you gave me cause I thought thats all I was ever gonna get. Right?”

A small smile washed over her face. “I just feel like I really pulled the rug out from under your feet back there. Maybe I could have been more honest, not put you on the spot like that.” She replied, not that she was upset now at how far they had finally come. She was proud of the progress they made and knew realistically that they could have never worked out when they were younger anyway, even a year ago when she felt like those were when her feelings were really settling in. She had who she wanted and that was all she wanted to focus on from now on. Putting her hands on his face as she threw a leg over him, she kissed him sweetly. “Baby, don’t beat yourself up about that. We were both scared and we don’t have to be anymore. I love you so much.” Jude smiled, running her thumb over his bottom lip.

“You can take a break for now.” Jude smiled sweetly and leaned over for a small peck on the mouth. “But I’m not done with you yet.” Another small peck and then she took another deep drag of her smoke as she listened now feeling admittedly guilty that she was the cause and effect for Zane. Jude leaned over and stubbed out her smoke. For a while she had bounced back and forth between quitting but never really having a good enough reason to quit. It’s not like her habit was even that outrageous, she smoked to keep her hands and mouth busy, on her work breaks and after sex. But Zane was the last person she wanted to share a smoke with. She ran her hands through her bangs. “I’m sorry, Zane. You’ve been on such a good streak up until now and you know thats all like pretty much my fault.” 

“Mmmm.” Jude hummed liking the sound of whatever he had to offer and while she was pretty exhausted she was admittedly down for another romp. “What? You mean you’re not up for round two? I’ll get on top of you and do all the work.” Jude purred as she was pretty sure even he was down for some lazy sex to really tucker them out.  A stream of smoke puffed through her nose as he took the smoke from her and she blinked repeatedly and crossed her arms over her naked chest. “You don’t smoke.” She professed, confused as she watched the smoke roll from his mouth, biting her lip at how ungodly sexy he looked before she shook her head and accepted the smoke back and took another drag, filling her lungs. “When did this happen?” She asked.

As she tucked her bangs over an ear she snorted. “My bad. I really meant for that to sound hot too because honestly I do want you to fill me up.” She was ready to hop on board so much as he was. Raw sex sounded great. She felt the heat go back to her cheeks as she searched for a pack of smokes and light somewhere by her bed. There was no such hope in hiding her smile when he talked like that about her or the redness that added to her face. “I’m all done I swear.” She smiled with the smoke between her lips as she lit up. “I want to really feel you.”

Thea was thankful for Zane’s understanding. She just sat there trying her best not to melt into tears again as she wipes her eyes and waits in the silence for Charlie to come. Her thoughts went to all the darker things and she couldn’t help but continue having her chest hurt and tears kept coming. Seeing Charlie, she tried her best to stop, but his words were so idiotic. She began laughing before her laughs turned into crying again. “You’re so stupid,” she says through the tears, not trying to be mean, but he always had to say the wrong thing. And she adored his impeccably bad timing. She continued laughing and crying, hoping that Zane would help explain.

The thoughts in her mind were racing. Back and forth towards her childhood and her grandmother and what little good memories they had. And the fact that she didn’t have good memories with her made her upset and scared and hurt. Why couldn’t she have something normal about her life? Instead of the shit-show that was Thea Lawrence. Her tears kept falling as her cries were more audible than she wanted. Zane’s words were heard, and she nodded. “I’m sorry, man. I’m embarrassed. I’m really not sure what the hell is happening.” She speaks, wiping her eyes as she whimpers a bit. “Could you…would you call Charlie?” Sniffling as she feels extremely pathetic.

“Well you’re not allowed to pass out on me yet, we gotta cuddle.” She smiled sweetly. Cuddling was just another bonus she had come to love far too easily between them. Jude climbed outta bed as well to pull her head through her baggy tee and wait to go pee. As she watched his sexy naked self walk back towards the bed, she pinched one of his ass cheeks with a smirk and sauntered off to her on suite. “No more damn UTIs.” She chanted as she washed her hands and walked back out. “I’ve been on the pill since I was like fifteen. I mean that does make more mess for me but hey if you want to fill me up next time.” She shrugged biting her lip. "Thats up to you.” She sang and climbed up into bed next to him, giving him a smooch.

“Thanks,” she mutters. “She wasn’t a good person, and it stink that she’s gone, but…it’s better this way.” Thea gives a shrug, her grandma had barely raised her. The money her parents had left was gone within the first few months after their passing and so the woman dipped into all of Thea’s accounts until they were baron. The woman was also extremely neglectful, hence how she had met the Challengers. Thea felt her lower lip tremble, not wanting to cry but as soon as he touched her knee, she felt herself crying. And then of course she was embarrassed for crying, so she cried more. She tried listening to his words, but for some reason they just hurt more than helped. This was far from the plan she had in mind. But here she was, her knees tucked to her chest, hugging herself as she cried for the first time in years.

Zane was easily the best sex she ever had. The way her body reacted to every thrust, every touch was enough to send her over the very edge. And fuck, he was not kidding when he wanted to coax every damn moan out of her system. Every deep thrust from her rear made her moan loudly, and gripping the sheets between her fingers. He pushed her to another hard climax, trapping the muffling moans into a pillow her face was pressed onto. “Fuuuuuck.” She whined as he pulled her back down his length as he came in her. She fell back on the bed, breathing out heavily. “Ugh, me? What about you? Wowwww fuck. My damn legs are so shaky. They won’t stop.” She laughed as she rolled over onto his chest and rested her head on her hand and smiled at him. “How’re you feeling, babe?” 

She smiled at his response, nodding. “Yeah, well that’s what happens when the only surviving member of your family kicks the bucket and leaves you with nothin’ but medical bills.” Thea hadn’t spoke to anyone about her grandmother passing until now, of course it only coming out now since she was high. The brunette gave a shrug as she took back the bowl, needing a hundred more hits before remotely feeling alright. Listening to Zane gave her some hope, but also made her feel stupid. Holding the lighter above the weed as she takes another puff, she gives a shrug at his comments and question. She exhales through her nostrils, “Yeah but I don’t know, that just seems like…that shit isn’t gonna happen to me. I’m looking for someone to care about me unconditionally, dude. Like no matter how bad I fuck something up, they still are there. And still love me and forgive me at the end of the day.” She could feel herself on the verge of tears. Thea never cried, and she never wanted to either. She felt like it was a sign of weakness and vulnerability. But all her inhibitions were fried from all the stress and now the weed. She began to get choked up, “Like fuck man, I’ve never even felt that from my family.”

“You are literally gonna kill me you know that. I never teased you this badly.” She muttered under her breath both excitedly and frustratedly as he pulled her top off and shook her hair out, biting back a moan. She propped up on her elbows when he asked her what she wanted, realizing nobody had ever asked her that. But every thought came back to her blurry. She was too turned on to even focus on what exactly she wanted apart from how badly she wanted him. “Oh, god, Zane, I want you. I want you to make me come so hard I’m gonna melt into this damn duvet.” She looked down at him between her thighs with a coy smile and a small breathy laugh. “Please baby.” The small brunette begged with her little voice. 

She laughs a bit, shaking her head. “I’ve known how to do taxes since I was like eleven, man.” Thea had a rough childhood and there was no question about that. So even if she felt like she wasn’t an adult, she had become one far too earl to feel as though there was more growing up for her to do. She hands over the bowl back to its owner. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve been on the verge of a mental breakdown for a few weeks now. So nah, I’m better for the moment.” She shrugged. She leans back propping herself up with her elbows. “It’s just shit…y’know? I’ve never had what you have with Jude or what like Charlie has for Liv. And sometimes I think I’m never gonna because I’m just all fucked up and know how to love.”