"If you think you're faking, you're not": the predatory nature of the online system community
Disclaimer: if you're going to take this personally, please scroll away. These are my personal observations and experiences. I do not believe that the majority of this behaviour is intentional, I think it's the result of loneliness and echo chambers. I know this doesn't go for everyone, I know a lot of people with DID doubt themselves, I know that system positivity posts can be really helpful, and I'm not saying to stop. I'm just asking for people to be listened to. I'm asking for people to not have to go through what I did.
Another really good, shorter post about this topic.
For the better part of a year, I spent my time logging and decorating Simply Plural profiles, dating a partner system with individual relationships between alters, posting with my typing quirks and aesthetic dividers, making rants about syscourse and building a headspace. I also heavily doubted my experiences. So I reached out to other systems, asking if this symptom and that symptom could be DID, trying to seek validation for myself. Responses ranged from "you're damaging other people by considering other possibilities" to "anyone can be a system!". I don't have DID. I may have BPD, C-PTSD, and ADHD. I have never had DID. But I have more than enough experience with grooming¹ online to make this post.
DID tends to be oversimplified online. If you think you're faking, you're not. Faking is intentional and you can't unintentionally do something intentional. Except, that's not what people mean when they make those posts. What they mean is "do I have imitative DID? could this possibly be something else?". But the lack of knowledge on these topics is taken advantage of. People are told that their doubts have no ground, that they are definitely a system if they're experiencing this and that, don't even bother thinking about other possibilities. People aren't encouraged to explore other possibilities. This creates an echo chamber where people are actively discouraged from seeking out or researching other possible causes of their symptoms.
When a person is lonely, or struggling with their sense of self, it might seem appealing to have friends in their head. To be able to connect with other people by bonding over their experiences with a mental disorder. To be able to express their creativity. But people aren't shown the shitty parts of that. So they get really into it, and they start partaking in the behaviours I spoke about above.
And then if doubt starts seeping in: don't doubt yourself, that's harmful! You are a system! Look, this TikTok video has 5 signs you might be a system and you meet them! Trauma is different for everyone! Sure, why not, it's fun.
Even more dangerous, in my opinion, is when people don't doubt it. They never escape the dangerous cycle, they could go through their whole lives believing they have a disorder they don't.
Nobody owes anyone information. I understand that. Only wanting to post about your silly experiences online is totally valid - I don't want to talk about how awful my autism makes my life to anyone happening to scroll the autism tag. Those aren't the type of people I'm talking about.
r/systemscringe doesn't help. Hell, I hate to say it, but they make really valid points sometimes. I hate the premise of the subreddit, I hate that they can post vulnerable people on there and make fun of them for what they basically view as the greater good. Just to clarify. But when you're doubting yourself, you might turn to that for a different perspective because you don't know where else to go. And then back to system communities, anybody who thinks they're a system is one.
Instead of going to safe places for research or a different perspective, they go to very potentially harmful subreddits like that, because the echo chamber can drive people crazy. Jeez, where can a guy find someone who doesn't recite the same 3 phrases?
Sorry, I know this isn't properly structured. It's a thought dump that I hope will encourage people to be safer.
"It's okay to be wrong". Yes, so true, but this is never used in the way it should be. It shouldn't be it's okay to be wrong so throw yourself into the system community and see how you feel, it should be it's okay to be wrong so don't be afraid to back out and look at other possibilities, take your time. The phrase is used to push people further away from their doubts rather than towards further research. Hell, I had someone tell me that there was "no harm to indulge in it", it being thinking I'm a system.
God, I wish people would seriously consider the long lasting effects of this shit! Of the devastatingly exhausting recovery path, the way it can destroy your sense of self.
I know I'm getting a bit heated there. I think I deserve to, a little.
I could most definitely say more but I want a snack. And in case you're wondering, everything quoted or mentioned here took a part in my false belief of having DID.
Eat, drink, and for the love of god read the disclaimer again before you reply to this please.
¹ "when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can make them do what they want and abuse them"
PT: Radqueers and TransIDs DN. Intended to say DNI, but the website was being funky.
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Here's my compilation of a TikTok account using my work and other people's work without even mentioning they didn't make it
First, the ones that only have stamps and mask, which I don't mind if they're used without credit
And here the ones that I do want credit because it takes a lot of time for me to do them, and there's no credit anywhere
Anyways, I saw that they also used some edits from some friends, and some editors I recognize but we don't talk (sad) which is really shitty considering the steal of work
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The UK is planning on implementing it's under 16 social media ban in the next two weeks. We need to be fighting against the government by signing petitions and spreading this information everywhere we can! This is fucking dystopian and it needs to be stopped!!
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IF YOU LIVE IN THE UK CONTACT YOUR MPs NOW NOW NOW!!! The UK is about to ban social media for under-16s and force EVERYONE to do a face scans and ID checks!
Not just that but Labour is giving 16 and 17 year olds the right to vote while forcing state mandated curfew on social media for them.
This is going to do so much harm to children, adults and lgbtq+! and put everyone data at risk, and why is he rushing all this? because it's driven by the fear of Kier being kicked out as PM and not based on any workable long term policy.
CONTACT THEM HERE!!!
Information on how to contact your local MP
You can support these UK groups who are fighting this!
Open Rights Group is the UK’s largest grassroots digital rights campaigning organisation, working to protect everyone’s rights to privacy an
Big Brother Watch exposes and challenges threats to our privacy, our freedoms and our civil liberties at a time of enormous technological ch
Banning access to information is a tactic of control btw. Any authority figure or holder of power trying to keep information from you is a red flag btw. Control of information and isolation are the easiest ways to brainwash people and control their perceptions of the world around them btw
If your government is trying to completely ban the internet and educational info on it, especially for people as vulnerable as children, you should be fucking concerned
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