Let's (pillow)talk about it

*Crawls out from under rock, squints at daylight*

I know! The chapter’s late, I’m soorrrrryyyyy! It will be up tonight though!

It was early, too early for a shower Zayn reckoned, but never too early for a cup of coffee. So he made his way to the kitchen and, like stepping into clothes, remembered the night, piece by piece Not in consequence or in any order for that matter and not all at once either. It came crawling in like sleep, slowly, surely and overpowering all other thoughts.

And suddenly he craved that coffee and its biting caffeine, charcoal color, bitter teeth and acidic tongue. It wasn't something to wake him up or brighten up bags that sat under his eyes. It wasn't a leisure drink he poured into a chipped blue mug because he wanted to spend his mornings, evenings and nights dumping it down his throat and twitching until he nearly drops his blue mug catching it in time so that, instead of shattering across the floor, it bumps the counter and chips again. 

Zayn never wanted to cut his lip across that blue chipped mug or swallow back coffee absent of cream and sugar. Zayn never wanted to need something as much as he needed air, but he sat in the kitchen as the sky faded into orange and sipped his coffee because it was a necessity.

“Mornin'” Harry drawled out scratching through his curls and picking two mugs out of the cupboard for himself.

“Morning.” Zayn replied as easy as the wind before taking another slow sip of his coffee and realizing something. “Harry?” 

Harry turned, brows raised, mug in hand. 

“Yes?” 

“You don't live here.” 

“I- your right.” Harry said as If Zayn had pointed out something incredibly enlightening before chuckling and pouring water into each mug. “Quite the perceptive one you are.”

“Mornin' lads.” Louis said shuffling socked feet into the kitchen and reaching to pull down a mug.

“Already got one for you, love. Earl gray or English breakfast?”

Louis looked at Harry with the same wide eyes as Zayn before puffing out his cheeks in a breath and shrugging. “Whatever you're having sounds great with some aspirin.”

Harry chuckled.

“Rough night, eh?”

Louis smirked grabbing his mug and said, “Don't mind rough.” Before disappearing back down the hall followed by Harry who left his mug on the counter and nearly knocking down Niall on his way.

“I think-” Zayn started scrunching his brows at Niall then looking at Harry's tea and then to Louis's closed bedroom door. “I think Lou and Harry are shagging.”

Niall just hummed.

“You don't say. Thought they were going to bust a hole in me wall last night.” He said picking up the forgotten cuppa and fishing out the tea bag. “English breakfast, huh? This Harry's?” Zayn nodded. “Figures, Lou hates English breakfast.”

And then he left, leaving Zayn and a billion different questions sitting there with a cold cup of coffee.

Zayn has a knack for getting himself into trouble. It isn't really a problem, until he needs saving. Luckily, Liam has a knack for just that and a couple of friends help too.

“You're one sulky son-of-a-bitch you know that? There's about a billion blokes out there who are destined to die alone and you ain't one of them. You're blessed, special even and here you are whining in front of some measly pub at the edge of Who Cares and No Man's Land saying you 'can't love him right'. Love, if I know anything about arse over tits, you're the definition. Don't torture yourself with this whole 'I can't love' because you'll never actually know unless ya give it a go. And who better to love than someone who loves you?"

Helped inspire this fic

So I saw this:

"Sometimes I like to masturbate in the stalls of a busy bathroom at my university. There is something thrilling about the possibility of someone knowing what I'm doing, so it is fun to do it when the bathroom is really busy. there are even tallies in some stalls for fellow anonymous mastrubators to keep track of how often we cum there."

“Suddenly he wasn’t in his small little flat, but a cloudy dorm-room that smelled like weed and paint, suddenly, he was pressed to the splintering floorboards, suddenly, Zayn remembered every last thing he knew about his life.”

Hey guys, I know it's been a while but I'm working on the new chapters right now! I do feel really bad though, so here's a sneak peak of what's to come :)

“I suppose you've got the freedom to go home whenever now, without Uni in the way and all.”

Zayn looked up, confused and feeling vulnerable. He never told Liam he dropped out.

Liam's smile dropped when he noticed the change in atmosphere.

“Sorry, I just- Louis told me and- it's none of my business. Sorry, I'm sorry.”

“We broke up.” Zayn said, he blurted it out like it was clawing away at his lips and as soon as he let it go, it set his heart in flames.

Liam paused and furrowed his brows.

“Sorry?”

“The a- I came with a guy-”

“Yeah, I remember.” Liam said encouraging Zayn to continue.

“Because I was told love was kind, love was gentle. It’s what we live for. It’s what makes this world worth living in. Turns out love is like war, it’s relentless. It doesn’t care if you are young or old. It doesn’t take into consideration how long you’ve known it. Love is terrifying, it hurts and I was always so scared to let myself be hurt like that again. But you- you’re different, Li. Love has never felt like this.” “What does this fell like?” “I can’t describe it.” “Show me.”

A little explanation behind chapter titles because why not :)

It’s not easy, remembering who you use to be. Liam needs a little help and of course Zayn is there for him and in the end they learn to fix each other in places they never even knew were broken. “Liam.” Zayn spoke worried brows wrinkling his forehead with concern. “Babe, why are you doing this?” “You already know don’t you?”