Tho I’m surprised there aren’t more “diss tracks” out there lol (paranoia aside id think someone would have to be full of themselves to think some song is about them lol)

Yeah, I get you—I've written a couple, but I don't think I'd ever write one and publicly release it again. I'm kinda at a point where I have enough of a support system that if I need to process my feelings about something, I have someone to talk to. I don't actually remember much of 2020, so I'm not sure what headspace I was in when I wrote Adam. I just knew I wanted to improve on Eve's composition, and that January was particularly tough on me, so I ended up writing about what was going in my head.

I do think that Eve was a pettier move—I'm obviously not gonna get into details because it should remain a (mostly) private thing and it was fucking retarded of me to bring it half-public, but there was miscommunication and I guess I partially wrote it to share my side of the story to the other person (considering that we had stopped talking at that point). I remember being egged on to make it a little bit, but I think that might not actually be true and I might be thinking of something else, instead.

Then if you've been around since I was 14, you probably remember Pity Party, which. Lol. I'll give myself a pass on that one 'cuz I was 14 years old and petty 14 year old drama is just like that. I do think it was a really dumb decision on my part, but I think a lot of areas in the vocaloid community really are like that (or at least were in 2018). Of course, I am sorry for making that decision and think Zion didn't deserve whatever harassment that got him, but hindsight is 20/20, I guess. I'm not in contact with him anymore anyway and have no desire to be.

i know we've had some bad experiences in the past & i know i used to be a horrible person who attacked several innocent people, including you. i decided to honor your wishes in 2020 or 2021, i forget, but i decided that it was cruel of me to keep that shit hostage when i was the reason it was all nuked in the first place. but back to modern shit, i know you probably know 99% of it bc i heard the entire community caught wind. tl;dr sorry about everything & just now saying something

i also want to add that i used to keep an archive of your old vsqx files, but deleted them out of respect that you didn't want your old (albeit truly great) songs preserved, i still listen to one of them rather frequently, even if im no longer mad at the person it was about. i still feel hurt that he sees me as someone to laugh at and essentially toy with, but i dont blame him after everything.