˖᯽ ݁˖· ─ jude bellingham x celebrity!fem.reader
sypnosis. After filming with Vogue, you went home and confronted Jude during dinner, just as your manager advised. However, the conversation didn’t end well between the two of you.
contents. part 2 to “what’s in my bag” . angst . arguing . reader has a past relationship trauma . jude is a jealous man . protective jude .
warnings. cursing . screaming . mentions of trauma . hate . men being men .
Finally arriving at your shared apartment, you were greeted by silence. The living room was still, with no sound from the television and no loud voices or laughter filling the space.
You let out a quiet sigh before heading to the bathroom. After a long shower, you changed into a pair of comfortable clothes, feeling some of theday's tiredness wash away with the warm water.
With the apartment still quiet, you made your way to the kitchen. You tied your hair back, gathered the ingredients from the fridge, and started preparing dinner. The soft sound of vegetables being chopped and a pan sizzling on the stove became the only noise in the room. Every now and then, you glanced at the clock, wondering when Jude would finally walk through the door.
About an hour later, you heard the front door unlock, followed by the familiar sound of shoes being kicked off and quiet shuffling in the hallway.
You turned toward the entrance and saw your boyfriend standing there, looking exhausted. His hair was messy, his clothes were slightly wrinkled, and a light layer of sweat covered his face. Even with the tired look in his eyes, seeing him home made the apartment feel a little less empty.
“Hey, babe.” You smiled up at him before turning back to the food on the stove, giving it another stir.
You heard his footsteps coming closer, a small smile already forming on your lips. A second later, his arms slipped aroundyour waist, pulling you gently against him.
Jude rested his head on your shoulder and let out a quiet hum before burying his face into the crook of your neck. He held you close, soaking in the comfort of the moment while you continued cooking.
“Very,” he hummed, his face still buried in your neck.
“Dinner's almost ready.” You gently nudged him with your elbow. “You should go take a shower. You smell like sweat.”
Jude let out a laugh and loosened his arms from around your waist. Before walking away, he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.
“I'll be quick,” he said.
You smiled to yourself as he disappeared down the hallway. A moment later, thesound of the shower running filled the quiet house while you finished making dinner.
Later, Jude finally finished showering and changing before making his way back to join you for dinner.
You had already settled at the table, quietly waiting for him. The food was still warm, and you smiled the moment you heard his footsteps getting closer.
"There you are," you said softly.
Jude grinned as soon as he saw you. "Look so good, baby," he said with a smile, leaningdown to press a quick kiss to your lips before taking the seat beside you. His hand rested on your thigh for a moment, giving it a gentle squeeze before he reached for his plate.
“So, how was training?" you asked as the two of you started eating.
"Tiring," Jude replied with a small sigh. "Coach had us running around the field for hours."
He took another bite before looking at you.
"What about you?" he asked. "How was your day? How was filming?"
"It went well..." you said, but your voice faded.
Jude paused mid-bite, immediately noticing the change in your tone. His brows pulled together as he looked at you.
"...Something happened, didn't it?"
"What happened?" he asked, worry clear in his voice.
You quietly set your spoon and fork down onyour plate before meeting his eyes. He watched your every move, his expression growing more nervous. You noticed him swallow hard.
"Apparently," you began, keeping your voice calm, "you forgot your stuff in my bag."
He quickly straightened in his seat.
"Really?" he asked. "Oh... sorry, babe. I forgot to take them out."
"I didn't even know you put them there—"
"It was when I forgot to bring a bag," he explained a little too quickly. "So I put my AirPods and bracelet in yours."
You looked at him for a second before speaking.
"I didn't say what object, Jude."
For a brief moment, he looked like he'd been caught. Then he let out a small laugh—the same kind of laugh you had noticed he always gave whenever he was nervous.
"Of course I know what object," he said, tryingto sound casual. "I was the one who left it there."
“Why?" he asked. "Did you end up showing them to Vogue?"
"Why do you sound so upset?" he asked with a small smile. "I'm sure no one's going to figure out they're mine."
"Well... I had them covered," you said. "But I'm pretty sure the bracelet gave it away. I mean, why would I own a men's bracelet?"
"Because you don't have limits when it comes to fashion?" he shrugged, brushing it off like it wasn't a big deal.
But he still wouldn't look you in the eyes.
Instead, he focused on his plate, taking another bite even though you could tell he was nervous, like he had done something the way he avoided your gaze.
“But that's not what I'm really upset about—"
"You kind of sound like it."
Your eyes snapped to him.
Jude immediately stopped eating, the words sinking in the moment they left his mouth. His expression shifted as he realized how they had sounded.
"No—I didn't mean it like that, babe—"
"I found our photo in my bag," you cut him off. "The one I don't remember putting there."
"The same photo you wouldn't even let me touch," you continued, your voice rising despite your effort to stay calm. He could hear the frustration and hurt building with every word. "The same photo you said and I quote, should just stay stuck on the refrigerator."
You stared at him, waiting.
"How did it end up in my bag?"
"I'm not blaming you," you replied, stressing every word. "I'm asking you, Jude."
“Did you put that photo there on purpose or not?" you asked.
You stared at him, your eyes slowly filling with tears from frustration. You hated thathe could see you like this. You hated that you were letting it affect you so much.
And then you saw it—the guilt in his eyes.
"Why..." you whispered. "You knew... you know I'm not ready yet, and still you—"
"You didn't have to show it to them," he finally interrupted, looking up at you. "You could've just ignored it and ended it there."
"It's no use when they already saw it!" your voice rose.
The words came out louder than you intended.
Jude looked at you, shock written all over his face.
You closed your eyes and let out a shaky sigh, trying to calm yourself.
"Then... tell them to cut it out," he said quietly. "Tell them to remove the clip."
A small, bitter scoff escaped your lips.
"You still don't get it, do you?"
You pushed your chair back and stood, looking down at him.
"I don't have that kind of authority over them. And even if I asked, it wouldn't change anything."
"They already know now," you continued, your voice trembling with frustration. "And you know how people are. They talk. Then they tell other people, and suddenly everyone starts digging into my life, trying to figure out who I'm dating."
You shook your head, your eyes locking with his.
A heavy silence settled between you.
"They're going to figure out it's you."
Another silence filled the room.
It only made your frustration worse.
His silence. His lack of an explanation. It all bothered you more than you wanted to admit.
"You know how fangirls are," you said as you sank back into your chair. "Especially when it comes to you."
Jude let out a quiet sigh before finally speaking.
"I didn't think it would be that bad for you. I was just trying to give them a hint that you were taken."
You stared at him in disbelief.
For a moment, all you could do was look at him, as if he'd suddenly grown another head.
"I... I told you I wasn't ready yet, Jude!"
"Oh, do you really?" you cut him off. "Because if you did, you wouldn't have done this."
"We’re still waiting for the right time—"
Your eyes snapped to Jude.
"There it is again," he said, shaking his head. He wasn't trying to hide how upset he was anymore. "'The right time.' That's all I ever hear."
He let out a humorless laugh.
"So when is this right time supposed to come, love?"
The question hung between you.
You opened your mouth, but no words came out.
You couldn't believe what you were hearing.
All this time, you had convinced yourself that he understood. That he respected your decision. That he was willing to wait until you were ready.
Upset that the two of you—your relationship, your love—had to stay hidden. Kept quiet. Tucked away from everyone else.
As if it only existed behind closed doors.
Where no one knew the two of you belonged to each other.
"You know what I went through because of my past..." you choked out, your lips trembling as you fought back tears. "The things they put me through... just because I was dating someone..."
"He was a fucking git, Y/N," Jude said, his voice firm, though it carried its own hurt. "And you know that."
"He never stood up for you. Not once." His jaw tightened. "He watched while they tore you apart, and he never once defended your name."
The words hit harder than you wanted them to.
Your chest tightened, anger and heartbreak twisting together until you couldn't tell them apart.
You weren't angry because Jude was telling the truth.
And you weren't trying to defend your ex.
You were angry because you had let it happen.
You could have walked away so much sooner.
You had every reason to leave.
You let yourself be dragged through hell, one cruel headline, one hateful comment, one sleepless night after another, until there was barely anything left of you.
You loved him so much that you convinced yourself the pain was worth it.
That if you just held on a little longer, things would get better.
Your voice cracked as tears finally spilled over.
"And now you're asking me to go through all of that again?" you whispered, looking at Jude through blurred eyes. "Do you have any idea how terrifying that is for me?"
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
The room was silent except for your uneven breathing.
Jude looked like he wanted to reach for you.
But neither of you moved.
“I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said quietly, letting out a tired sigh.
He looked into your eyes, and for the first time since the argument began, you saw it clearly.
He felt awful. You could see it in the way his shoulders had dropped, in the way he couldn't hold your gaze for more than a few seconds.
"I just..." His voice caught. "I just couldn't take it anymore."
He looked away, rubbing a hand over his face.
"The boys..." He stopped, his lips pressing into a thin line as if saying it out loud hurt more than he expected.
"What about them?" you asked softly.
Another heavy sigh left him.
"I didn't like the way they talked about you."
His jaw clenched as the memory came rushing back.
It was only a few minutes before training when everyone gathered in the locker room to change.
Lockers slammed shut, conversations echoed through the room, and the sound of shoes hitting the floor filled the air as the players got themselves ready.
Jude stood in front of his locker, pulling on his training shirt before fixing the sleeves. He grabbed his water bottle and was about to close his locker when a chorus of loud whistles and teasing "Oohs!" came from the other side of the room.
He turned to see most of the boys crowded together in a tight circle. One of his teammates stood in the middle, holding up a phone while the others leaned in, their eyes glued to the screen. Some were laughing, others looked genuinely surprised, while a few kept asking to scroll back.
Curious, Jude shut his locker and walked over.
"What are you lot looking at?" he asked, trying to peek over someone's shoulder.
"Oi, come here!" one of them called, looking up at Jude with a grin. "You've got to see this!"
Curiosity got the better of him.
Jude made his way over, squeezing between a few of his teammates until one of them pulled him closer and held the phone right in front of him.
The moment he looked at the screen, his eyes widened.
A new Victoria's Secret campaign had just been posted, featuring you in different sets of lingerie and sleepwear. Each photo looked effortless, and the comments were already pouring in.
Jude hadn't seen the post yet, but he knew all about the shoot.
He remembered that day like it had happened yesterday.
Every little moment that made it impossible for him to focus on anything else.
More than once, he'd had to stop himself from walking onto the set, taking your hand, and stealing you away. He wanted nothing more than to leave with you, go home, and have you all to himself.
You hadn't made it any easier.
Every chance you got, you'd glance at him from in front of the camera, wearing that teasing smile you knew always got to him. The playful looks you sent his way made his heart race, even from across the studio.
Whenever you walked past him to change into another set, you'd give your hips the smallest sway on purpose, never once looking back because you already knew he was watching.
And between takes, you'd flash him an innocent smile, pretending you hadn't been driving him crazy the entire shoot.
You teased him from the moment the cameras started rolling until they finally wrapped for the day.
By the time it was over, all Jude could think about was getting you home.
"God, she's so hot," one of them said with a low whistle.
"Whoever gets to come home to her every night is the luckiest man alive."
"Her ex seriously messed that up."
"I'm not gonna lie, I was happy when they broke up."
"You think she's single?"
"As if you'd ever have a chance."
"Damn... look at that body."
The comments kept coming, one after another, bouncing around the locker room as the boys laughed among themselves. As they keep on sliding on each photo, sliding back to the other photos time to time, to make comments.
At first, he tried to ignore them.
He told himself they didn't know.
They had no idea they were talking about his girlfriend.
But with every comment, his jaw clenched a little tighter.
His brows pulled together, and his grip on his water bottle tightened until his knuckles turned white.
He wanted to tell them to stop.
He wanted to tell them you weren’t just some celebrity on a screen.
Not without exposing the one secret the two of you had worked so hard to protect.
Across the room, Trent noticed the change in his expression first.
He exchanged a quick glance with Kylian.
The two of them were the only teammates who knew about your relationship with Jude. They had kept that secret without question, respecting both of your wishes.
Now, watching Jude stand there in silence while the others unknowingly talked about you, checking you out, they could already tell he was reaching his limit.
"Just imagine spending one night with her," one of them said, making a few of the others laugh in agreement.
"One night with her and I'd be the happiest man alive."
"The things I'd do with her..."
Something inside Jude snapped.
The anger he'd been trying so hard to keep under control boiled over. Before he could think twice, he took a step forward, ready to throw the first punch at the teammate who had dared to speak about you like that.
"Don't," Kylian said firmly, holding him back.
At the same time, Trent stepped in front of him.
"Leave it," he said quietly. "Don't waste your energy on this. We've got training in a few minutes."
"They don't deserve your attention."
Jude's chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as the two of them guided him out of the locker room. Behind them, the rest of the team hadn't noticed a thing, still crowded around the phone, laughing and making comments.
The moment they stepped outside, Jude pulled his arm free.
"Did you hear what they were saying?" he said through gritted teeth. "They were talking about my girl like that... right in front of me."
"To be fair," Trent replied with a sigh, "they don't know you two are together."
"I don't care!" Jude snapped. "Dating or not, they shouldn't be talking about anyone like that."
He spotted a football lying on the grass and struck it as hard as he could.
The ball flew across the training pitch, making a few members of the coaching staff turn toward them in surprise.
Kylian gave them an apologetic wave before looking back at Jude.
His fists were still clenched.
His breathing was uneven.
And despite everything, the only thing running through his mind was that he couldn't even tell them to stop.
Because protecting your secret meant standing there and listening while they talked about the woman he loved as if she were just another face on their screens to fantasize with.
"Some of them already have girlfriends," Kylian said with a disappointed sigh, shaking his head.
Jude only looked away, his jaw still tight.
Training didn't go well after that.
The anger, frustration, and jealousy he had been holding back followed him onto the pitch.
Every tackle was harder than it needed to be.
Every challenge came with a little more force.
And somehow, the teammates who had made those comments were always the ones on the receiving end.
"Easy, Jude!" the coach shouted after another rough challenge.
His teammates began throwing him confused looks, wondering what had gotten into him. A few muttered under their breath after another hard tackle, while others simply stayed out of his way.
Even the manager stepped in, reminding him to take it down a level.
All he could hear were the comments from the locker room.
The words replayed over and over in his head, making every pass, every sprint, and every challenge a way to let out the anger he couldn't say aloud.
By the end of training, everyone knew something had set Jude off.
"I didn't like the way they were talking about you," he said quietly, letting out another tired sigh. "Not just the boys... the people online too."
He looked down at his hands before speaking again.
"I couldn't take it anymore. Every post, every comment... it was always the same. People talking about your body, acting like they had a chance, saying all these things about you like you weren't even a person."
He finally looked up at you, his eyes glossy with guilt.
"I thought..." he paused, searching for the right words. "I thought that if people knew you were already taken... if they knew you were with someone..."
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"I wasn't trying to force you into anything. I wasn't trying to take that choice away from you."
"I just wanted them to leave you alone."
He took a hesitant step closer, careful not to invade your space.
"I never meant to upset you."
A sad smile tugged at his lips before disappearing just as quickly.
"I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose."
"But seeing people talk about the woman I love like that every single day..."
"It was breaking me too."
"And you think revealing the relationship would make people respect me?"
The question hung in the air.
You understood why he did it.
And that was what made this hurt even more.
You knew he hadn't meant any harm. He wasn't trying to hurt you.
He was trying to protect you.
But in doing so, he had taken a risk that wasn't his to take.
A risk that could change everything for you.
"You let your jealousy get the better of you," you said quietly.
If your past hadn't left its scars...
If none of it had ever happened...
You probably would've melted into his arms right then and there.
You would've forgiven him without another thought.
No matter how much you understood his reasons, your body still remembered what your heart wanted to forget.
The panic every time your phone wouldn't stop ringing.
The sessions you have with your therapist.
The way your life had once been torn apart just because you loved a boy.
It had taken years to put yourself back together.
And now, standing in front of Jude, you could feel those old wounds opening all over again.
Not because you didn't love him.
But because you were terrified of living that nightmare a second time.
“Still,” you spoke once again. “It was selfish thing to do.”
He had acted on without your consent.
His head quickly raised to look at you from those words.
“But I am the one who has to face the consequences if this goes wrong.”
You looked away, swallowing the lump in your throat.
"And I need you to understand that my fear isn't because I don't love you.”
"It's because I know what happens when people get involved in something that was supposed to be ours."
Neither of you said a word to each other.
You refused to meet his gaze or even turn in his direction. Still, you could feel his eyes on you from time to time, heavy with things he wanted to say but didn't know how.
Usually, after dinner, the two of you would spend the rest of the night together.
Picking a movie and pretending to argue over what to watch.
But tonight, none of that happened.
Instead, you both went to bed early.
You climbed into your shared bed, pulling the blanket over yourself and turning to face the other side of the room. You kept your back toward Jude as he changed for bed, pretending to be focused on anything else.
You expected to feel the mattress dip beside you. You expected the familiar warmth of him lying next to you, even if the silence between you remained.
Instead, you heard shuffling.
Your brows furrowed slightly.
Then you heard him pick up his pillow.
You still didn't turn around.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight."
You could feel his warmth behind you. His hot breath brushed against your skin, and your eyes squeezed shut.
Pretending you hadn't been awake this whole time, waiting for him to come and lay down beside you.
Pretending you hadn't heard the words.
You heard him let out a quiet sigh.
For a moment, neither of you moved.
Then, softly, you felt his lips press against your shoulder blade.
You wanted to turn around.
You wanted to tell him to stay.
A few seconds later, you felt him pull away.
The mattress lifted as he stood up, and soon after, you heard the bedroom door slowly close.
Alone in the room you shared.
Alone in the bed that was supposed to hold the two of you.
sophia speaks ! Finally, it's here! It took me long enough to finish this. I'm sorry if it isn't perfect, but I really tried my best guys. I'm not usually someone who likes angst, but I wanted to give it a try. I hope you guys enjoyed it and that it was okay. Thank you for reading!
Also, my first two publishes? 1k and 2k likes on each of them! It’s insane! I’m so happy!!! Thank you for all the love on my fics <33
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