you get what you give 🤖

Exactly! I feel like Vintage needs to be at least 50 years.

Agreed. I vote we change the rules immediately. For completely unbiased reasons, of course. Though that may mess with my store's layout just a tad, but hey I don't have "vintage" included in the store name so not like I have to abide entirely by that timeframe.

Can someone tell me why gym bros think it's even remotely okay to come over and hit on me while they're sweaty, gross, and musty? Like, I get it, I'm hot and I'm usually not doing much but tapping away on my phone at my receptionist desk. Go ahead, shoot your shot! But come on, dude, at least have the decency to wait until you don't stink to do it. It's not just me, right? Literally nobody likes that. I mean, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong and you actually like the sweat. I promise I'll try my best to only judge you a little.

Okay, so we can add this to a list of why me not going to the gym on a consistent basis is more of a pro, because it makes me at least a level up from those creeps. Not that being a gym bro was ever in the stars for me, anyway. I’m pretty sure basic hygiene should be the bare minimum before anyone even attempting to flirt with a pretty lady. Like the gym does have showers, right? Are they aware of this?

Wait.

Oh you very much can! And I'll tell you one thing, once you've ventured into the dessert drink side of the slow cooker, you will never get store bought hot cocoa packets again. Assuming that how you usually make your hot cocoa is a la Swiss Miss.

We were a Miley Cyrus song personified. Living in the best of both worlds. And that's easy for you to say. You don't have to worry about your biological clock running out so freezing time doesn't affect you too much. Me, on the other hand? I am approaching 'spinster on the shelf' age. And before you start, yes, I know that’s dramatic. But every time another celebrity my age announces they’re pregnant with their fifth child while I’m over here debating whether cereal counts as dinner, I have a tiny existential crisis about it.

Yeah, okay, I hear you on that part. That’s a different kind of pressure than just getting older in general. I guess I just don’t like the idea that there’s some universal timer where things are supposed to happen on schedule, even if I get why it feels like that from the outside looking in. Life doesn’t really follow the checklist people pretend it does. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re anywhere near some cutoff point or anything like that. You’re just in the part where it feels loud because everyone else seems to be announcing milestones all at once. You ever see that movie Baby Mama? Sigourney Weaver's character was having babies well into her 50s!

I will say the Backrooms trailer gets me all kinds of intrigued. Don't know if it'll be any good, but A24 did release a commercial for Cap'n Clark's Ottoman Empire. And I keep accidentally typing Backwoods instead of Backrooms. I blame Jaz since she got me watching random Degrassi episodes, and that's a character's nickname.

I'm assuming that has to do with something in the game? I've never played, so the most I know about it is just the whole ending up in the rooms somehow. Ah Degrassi, I don't think I ever watched much of it, but I definitely remember the promos when I'd be watching other shows on the same channel. My sister might have watched it, too.

Okay but real talk? This whole “everything is retro now” thing is actually making me feel some type of way. Like damn, we really out here becoming classics without even trying. But enough sulking about being old, it's a little depressing now. Oh, hey, Founder's Day is literally right around the corner. You gonna have a booth this year?

We're the last of the best generation in my personal biased opinion. And totally, moving on. Honestly, I thought about a full-on booth this year, but instead I compromised between my usual staying in the shop and then leaving someone in charge while I go get food and the idea of having a booth while also staying open and opted for having a few table displays right outside the storefront. Drew more people to go into the store and I have cameras outside and signs that say just that, so I didn't have to worry about any funny business. What about you, what'd you get up to on Founders Day this year?

I absolutely can and will see myself doing exactly that, probably in bunny slippers and a face mask. I like ALL OF THOSE THINGS, and also tortilla chips, and also party and/or game nights with stupid amounts of food. Pleasepleaseplease, teach me your ways! (Also: magical countertop cauldron is my new favorite, and also a bitchin' name for a band?)

As you should! Really, there's no wrong way to devour the stuff, either on your own or sharing with good company. And of course, just wait until I pass on the secret slow cooker hot cocoa recipe I have up my sleeve. Complete with optional toppings and snacks to go with it. (Okay, hear me out... what about a small business candle company with that name?)

Exactly! Vintage is older than I am. It's something I couldn't have bought new if I'd wanted to. Not something that literally came out in my adulthood!

THANK YOU. See, that’s exactly my logic. Vintage should mean “wow, look at this relic from before my time,” not “hey remember buying this at Best Buy?” Those are two completely different emotional experiences.

Like, no. My toaster collection, is vintage. My console collection is not. No. I refuse.

Exactly! There’s a huge difference between vintage and something I still remember buying when it was brand new. I refuse to accept that we've hit this point in time already when in my mind the 90s were only 10 years ago.

Oh god, I've not actually watched it, I just know what happened because I'm entirely too online. But inadvisable kitchen accidents aside, tell me more about this buffalo chicken dip... 👀

Oh dude, buffalo chicken dip is dangerously easy. Like, accidentally eat half the crockpot with tortilla chips while standing in the kitchen easy. It’s basically shredded chicken, cream cheese, ranch, buffalo sauce, shredded cheese, and then you just let the magical countertop cauldron do its thing for a few hours. Also it’s one of those foods that immediately disappears at any party or game night. I’ve genuinely never seen leftovers survive.

I blame the fact that I have avoided the small appliance section of the store for literal YEARS. And also This is Us. Traumatizing. Justice for Jack.

Not a clue about what This Is Us is, but I'm assuming a movie or a show and the cookware caused a fire? Totally understand that fear, though. And yeah, I managed to get crockpot recipes into my algorithm on reels and once in awhile a new gem pops up that I end up trying. Also, the fact I can now make my own buffalo chicken dip is probably the greatest thing ever.

You’ve got a point there. They’ll call us "vintage" in one breath and then go buy the exact same outfit we wore to a middle school dance in the next. It’s a specialized kind of disrespect, honestly. But hey, if looking this good is what they consider "vintage," I’ll take it as a compliment. I can handle the JNCO jeans and the claw clips coming back, but I am begging the fashion gods to not bring back those skinny, barely-there eyebrows. I spent way too many years looking surprised and half-finished. I am not recovering from that trauma just so I can see it all over my feed again. Hell to the no.

Oof, yeah the barely there, thin line of a brow trend. Glad that's something I never took part in. I've heard some people never were able to grow them back in after doing all that. But yeah, I think that’s what makes it feel weird more than anything, just how differently time feels now compared to back then. Everything moves so fast you barely get a chance to sit with it before it’s already part of some nostalgia post. Also now I’m kind of curious what other things are going to get slapped with the retro label next, because at this rate I feel like I need to start mentally preparing for 2010s stuff to show up any day now.

You guys.

Stella! Welcome to the wonderful world of throwing random things into a magical cooking appliance and ending up with something edible at the end of a long day! Seriously though, how has it taken you this long to discover the slow cooker? That nifty invention has kept me from a life that once was only full of frozen pizzas and taquitos. Not that I've ever complained about a good frozen, microwaveable meal.

I feel like you're right. Logically that makes sense. But I just don't know how he wouldn't have been able to taste the difference, especially with how many cups he drank. I mean...what does his normal water taste like? How much water does he drink? Does he drink water? I have so many questions.

Something tells me that even if you have any more interactions with him, he'll likely be too embarrassed to give you an answer and will act like the entire thing didn't happen. Maybe your daughter can get you answers from her friend, I'd assume his own daughter would also have questions and with her he wouldn't be able to straight up ignore it.

Mercedes is absolutely correct in saying that we had the golden era. We grew up in an era where the technology didn't control our lives. We played outside. We had actual conversations in person. We (okay, not me, but still) ate together as a family, even if it was in front of the tv or something like that. But then we also grew up in the era where technology really started blossoming. It really was the Golden Era. And even if you didn't go through what I did growing up, we're still getting closer to that big 4-0. I hate it. I feel like time should just stop so we never get any older.

Yeah, I get what you mean. There was definitely a weird sweet spot where we got the best of both worlds, outside most of the time but still getting to watch all the tech slowly roll in. No wonder it feels like everything sped up after that. And hey, I’m not going to pretend I’m thrilled about the big 4-0 creeping closer either, but I also kind of refuse to believe we’re at the “time should stop” stage yet. That feels dramatic, even for me. If anything, I think we just need better distractions. Like food, good company, or in my case, trying not to keep every cool thing that comes into my shop for myself.

Right? It's hard to believe how fast time flies at times. How is it already May? By the way, posts about songs turning 20 years old, etc., never fail to make me feel my age, but also make me wonder how my mind remembers all those songs. Sometimes I can't remember why I walked to the kitchen, but I do remember all the lyrics of a song that's 30+ years old. It's crazy. How are things at the store? It's been a while since I was able to pay it a visit. Anything new?

Oh, I'm there with you on that one. I'm always listening to the stations that play the older stuff, nothing newer than the 2000s really. And a song will come on that I swear I haven't heard in ages and it's like I'm magically hitting every word with no mistakes. Then I go into the office to grab something and completely forgot what it was I needed. Insane how the memory works, or doesn't. So far, National Small Business Week has been a success and I've made a ton of sales, nothing too new has come in since before that really. With the nicer weather though, I've been out and about, hitting up the yard sales and flea markets when I get a chance and hoping to find new gems to shine up and put on the floor.

It definitely makes a person feel old, that's for sure.

Yeah dude, it truly does.